Another mostly boring day of feeds. Frankie did not get picked to play in the POV comp, and this really pissed him off. He was absolutely livid! That was actually kind of fun to watch. He's been complaining all season about never getting picked for POV. Yesterday he kept saying that from here on in he is guaranteed to play. He said this a zillion, trillion, times! Was anybody listening? Nope!
They missed his secret coded message: "This is your last chance to backdoor me you silly people!" They just skipped right over that, and started whining about Victoria getting to play in this veto comp. They hate her lack of game play with a passion! A passion that blinds them to a big game move opportunity. Such a silly bunch of dodo heads!
Meanwhile, Christine wins the veto! This gives them the perfect chance to get Frankie out! It might be their last shot! Do they realize this? I don't think so. They talk about how paranoid he is. They list how he has thrown each of them under the bus. They think he can win just about any kind of comp. They all agree that he will probably turn on them as soon as he has the chance.
And then....and then.... they decide that Victoria should still go up as the replacement nom! Wow! What a genius plan! More thrilling game strategy brought to you by The-Best-Worst-Dodo-Head-Alliance-Ever!
Caleb is all about getting his alliance to final five. It doesn't seem to matter that this plan might ruin his game. Caleb wants to make BB history. He thinks getting them to final five will make them famous beyond his wildest dreams. Parades, limousines, recording contracts, and Oscar nominations all seem to hinge on this alliance making it to the final five.
Earlier, Caleb and Cody had made big plans for a night of drinking. I think they had leftover booze from the night before. As they were looking forward to their drunken evening, Frankie caused a twitter uproar by making a horrid suggestion concerning Victoria. I won't repeat it, but it was very crude and thoughtless. Frankie is showing his true nasty self more every day. I turned off the feeds at this point, I had to take a break and think happy thoughts.
8/30 2:21 pm cam 3/4
I tune in later in the evening and Cody is wearing a dinosaur costume as a punishment for being the first one out of the veto comp. Caleb, Cody, and Victoria are the only ones drinking. BB gives them another booze delivery and they all get pretty wasted. Caleb is so loaded he fell down the stairs. It looked like a pretty bad fall, but he's okay. Cody and Caleb have a drunken convo about a final three deal of Caleb/Cody/ Derrick. Outside in the hammock, Derrick listens to Frankie pitch a final three deal of Frankie/ Caleb/Derrick.
So here we are in the BB house with a booze delivery, a dino costume, final three deals left and right, and it's just no fun. They get more alcohol and I decide to go to bed? That's just crazy talk! Not a good sign when even a booze delivery can't save the night.
Have a Dorky Day!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Saturday, August 30, 2014
These Feeds Are No Fun!!
First of all, congratulations to all the voters on a job well done! Team America's last task was an overwhelming fail! How about them apples, Frankie? No apple pie for you!
Frankie is still raging about this fail. He says that people just aren't ready for a guy in drag on BB. Frankie, dahling, we have guys in drag on every single season of Big Brother. It's a basic staple of BB. Did you read your contract? I'm pretty sure it's in there. "When you get bored to tears in the house, one or more male cast members are required to dress up in drag."
Frankie has decided that he no longer has to play a "nice" game. This fail has given him permission to unleash his true nasty self. He doesn't care if he has haters! He is a famous superstar! People just hate him because he is so famous! He no longer cares what America thinks of him. He is weary of trying to please us. He. Is. Over. It!
Frankie, sweetie-dahling, we are over you! I keep switching cams every time you enter a room. I don't even want to turn the feeds on today, because I can't stand listening to you anymore. I might turn them on after the POV comp. Maybe, if Nicole wins POV, I won't mind watching your hissy fit reaction to another major fail.
Not much happening on the feeds anyway. Caleb as HOH is a big yawn so far. As agreed upon by the Best-Worst-Big-Bunch-Of-Meanies-Alliance-Ever, Caleb put Nicole on slop. He asked them all "Who has not been on slop at least twice?" Nobody spoke up. Well, Christine kinda pointed at Frankie, but Caleb wouldn't look at her.
Frankie has only done it once. But he can't be expected to be a Have Not again! He is a superstar! Pick Nicole! Nicole had gourmet meals prepared by five star chefs in the jury house! Hayden fed her caviar and champagne breakfasts every day! Pick Nicole! We want her weak and weary for the POV comp!
Derrick volunteered to be a Have Not. He said it was because he went for the $5,000 in the HOH comp. I suspect it was more strategic. This gives him plenty of time alone with Nicole in the Have Not room. If she wins POV, he can keep on her good side for next week. If she loses, he can work on securing her jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.
Aside from Nicole winning the POV, the only potential for exciting feeds this week is that the hgs have noticed that there are a lot of missing condoms. They are all getting curious. Frankie brings it up daily. I haven't heard anything from the night vision cam patrol about any hank panky. Have you?
Early in the season we had the the mystery of the missing condoms. The girls were pranking with condom water balloons and discovered 3 condoms were missing from the box. We haven't heard a peep about condoms since then.
Remember back then? At the beginning of our newbie season? When berzerker hgs roamed the house wreaking havoc? When a StalkMance could entertain us for hours? When Zach would finally wake up and set the monkeys loose? Back when the feeds were fun, and life was worth living? I fear those days are gone forever.
Have a Dorky Day!
Curious about the condoms? See my July 9 post: The Mystery Of The Missing Condoms
Frankie is still raging about this fail. He says that people just aren't ready for a guy in drag on BB. Frankie, dahling, we have guys in drag on every single season of Big Brother. It's a basic staple of BB. Did you read your contract? I'm pretty sure it's in there. "When you get bored to tears in the house, one or more male cast members are required to dress up in drag."
Frankie has decided that he no longer has to play a "nice" game. This fail has given him permission to unleash his true nasty self. He doesn't care if he has haters! He is a famous superstar! People just hate him because he is so famous! He no longer cares what America thinks of him. He is weary of trying to please us. He. Is. Over. It!
Frankie, sweetie-dahling, we are over you! I keep switching cams every time you enter a room. I don't even want to turn the feeds on today, because I can't stand listening to you anymore. I might turn them on after the POV comp. Maybe, if Nicole wins POV, I won't mind watching your hissy fit reaction to another major fail.
Not much happening on the feeds anyway. Caleb as HOH is a big yawn so far. As agreed upon by the Best-Worst-Big-Bunch-Of-Meanies-Alliance-Ever, Caleb put Nicole on slop. He asked them all "Who has not been on slop at least twice?" Nobody spoke up. Well, Christine kinda pointed at Frankie, but Caleb wouldn't look at her.
Frankie has only done it once. But he can't be expected to be a Have Not again! He is a superstar! Pick Nicole! Nicole had gourmet meals prepared by five star chefs in the jury house! Hayden fed her caviar and champagne breakfasts every day! Pick Nicole! We want her weak and weary for the POV comp!
Derrick volunteered to be a Have Not. He said it was because he went for the $5,000 in the HOH comp. I suspect it was more strategic. This gives him plenty of time alone with Nicole in the Have Not room. If she wins POV, he can keep on her good side for next week. If she loses, he can work on securing her jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.
Aside from Nicole winning the POV, the only potential for exciting feeds this week is that the hgs have noticed that there are a lot of missing condoms. They are all getting curious. Frankie brings it up daily. I haven't heard anything from the night vision cam patrol about any hank panky. Have you?
Early in the season we had the the mystery of the missing condoms. The girls were pranking with condom water balloons and discovered 3 condoms were missing from the box. We haven't heard a peep about condoms since then.
Remember back then? At the beginning of our newbie season? When berzerker hgs roamed the house wreaking havoc? When a StalkMance could entertain us for hours? When Zach would finally wake up and set the monkeys loose? Back when the feeds were fun, and life was worth living? I fear those days are gone forever.
Have a Dorky Day!
Curious about the condoms? See my July 9 post: The Mystery Of The Missing Condoms
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Game Talk Of The Flippity-Floppity Variety
You know the feeds are getting good when you start screaming "Listen to Caleb, he is absolutely right! You gotta listen to Caleb!" All of a sudden he is the voice of reason, and we sit up and pay attention. We spend so much time trying to avoid listening to him that it takes us by surprise every time.
About once a week Caleb's brain clears it's cache and cookies, and reboots to reveal a whole new Caleb. He has one rational thought after another. He spots the flaws in the plan of the moment, and comes up with a simple solution that might just be the better move. He is very calm and patient when he shares this information with his alliance. Caleb just all of a sudden starts making sense.
Last night sensible Caleb tried to get the guys to keep Donny and evict Nicole. Frankie and Derrick were up for it, but only if Cody said yes. Cody said no. No! No! No! He wants Donny gone! The discussion goes on, and they all flip-flop back and forth, except for Cody. Cody only kinda, sorta, maybe, flips one time. Then he flops back into saying "No!".
If only Derrick had given his permission for game talk 6 days ago, we might have had a great week of feeds. Derrick nipped all the buds that could have blossomed into game talk the night Nicole came back into the house. Then he spent the week setting himself up just in case it ever came to this discussion. He let's Caleb and Cody do most of the talking. He pipes in now and then to clarify, or confuse, whichever is called for. He is prepared for whatever they decide.
Frankie is mostly quiet too. He really wants Nicole to go. He is trying to play it cool, but it's obvious he is getting agitated. He and Derrick work together to let Caleb and Cody think that they are making this decision themselves.
Together in the HOH, they all say they will go with the group. Individually, to each other and to the cameras, they say they have to look out for themselves. Frankie acts really pissed, but pretends to be fine with whatever they decide. Derrick does his thing, and sets himself up to be the good guy no matter what the final decision is. Derrick is tricky that way.
Caleb's brain cache is now on overload and he is slipping back into BeastMode. "Whatever, dude! It don't matter who goes home! We are gonna win all the comps from here to infinity anyhow!" So it looks like Donny is still going home.
While all this flip-flopping was going on, Team America learned that Julie Chen will use a secret code to tell them if we voted for their most recent task to win or fail. During tonight's live show she will ask one of them what Have Not food they would most like to have next week. They will answer "Apple pie!". If they have succeeded, she will say "Wish granted."
If they have failed, she will say "Frankie and Derrick you suck, that stupid play sucked, and the whole Team America twist really, really sucks!!"
I was very tired when I finally went to bed last night, but I am pretty sure I got that last part right. I am most likely suffering from BB Brain Mush. I better clear my brain cache and reboot.
Have A Dorky Day!
About once a week Caleb's brain clears it's cache and cookies, and reboots to reveal a whole new Caleb. He has one rational thought after another. He spots the flaws in the plan of the moment, and comes up with a simple solution that might just be the better move. He is very calm and patient when he shares this information with his alliance. Caleb just all of a sudden starts making sense.
Last night sensible Caleb tried to get the guys to keep Donny and evict Nicole. Frankie and Derrick were up for it, but only if Cody said yes. Cody said no. No! No! No! He wants Donny gone! The discussion goes on, and they all flip-flop back and forth, except for Cody. Cody only kinda, sorta, maybe, flips one time. Then he flops back into saying "No!".
If only Derrick had given his permission for game talk 6 days ago, we might have had a great week of feeds. Derrick nipped all the buds that could have blossomed into game talk the night Nicole came back into the house. Then he spent the week setting himself up just in case it ever came to this discussion. He let's Caleb and Cody do most of the talking. He pipes in now and then to clarify, or confuse, whichever is called for. He is prepared for whatever they decide.
Frankie is mostly quiet too. He really wants Nicole to go. He is trying to play it cool, but it's obvious he is getting agitated. He and Derrick work together to let Caleb and Cody think that they are making this decision themselves.
Together in the HOH, they all say they will go with the group. Individually, to each other and to the cameras, they say they have to look out for themselves. Frankie acts really pissed, but pretends to be fine with whatever they decide. Derrick does his thing, and sets himself up to be the good guy no matter what the final decision is. Derrick is tricky that way.
Caleb's brain cache is now on overload and he is slipping back into BeastMode. "Whatever, dude! It don't matter who goes home! We are gonna win all the comps from here to infinity anyhow!" So it looks like Donny is still going home.
While all this flip-flopping was going on, Team America learned that Julie Chen will use a secret code to tell them if we voted for their most recent task to win or fail. During tonight's live show she will ask one of them what Have Not food they would most like to have next week. They will answer "Apple pie!". If they have succeeded, she will say "Wish granted."
If they have failed, she will say "Frankie and Derrick you suck, that stupid play sucked, and the whole Team America twist really, really sucks!!"
I was very tired when I finally went to bed last night, but I am pretty sure I got that last part right. I am most likely suffering from BB Brain Mush. I better clear my brain cache and reboot.
Have A Dorky Day!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Cody! Shut It Down!!!
There is a long list of do's and don'ts every BB hg should carry with them. Here are just a few items on this list:
Don't:
Do:
I have to switch cams every time I see a Cody & Christine cuddle-grope going on. What the hell is Cody doing? Why is he still touching her? Why is he letting her touch him? Why hasn't one of the guys given him a good smack upside the head?
They seemed to restrain themselves a bit right after Zingbot called them out. That lasted about 15 minutes! But then they started up again, with a vengeance! It's like watching an octopus! So many arms and tentacles latching on to random body parts. Stroking, holding, rubbing, tickling, poking, grabbing, pulling! I can't stand it one more minute! Cody! Shut It Down!
He has made it to the final eight. He has strong players in his alliance telling him he spends too much time with Christine. They express their concern about all this cuddling. They tease him and call him out. Zingbot poked him in the chest and zinged him a new one!!! Does he listen? Nope!
Cody keeps telling Derrick that he doesn't trust Christine, she won't leave him alone, and she is driving him crazy. But five minutes later he and Christine are on cam again, all wrapped around each other. They were talking about how they didn't give a damn that everyone says they cuddle too much. Who cares if the other hgs think they spend way too much time together? They say "Fook them, let's cuddle some more right now!"
Fook you Cody! Fook you Christine! Thanks to you I have to switch cams, and suffer through an hour of BeastMode Cowboy talking about his imaginary future as a superstar. Or I end up in the bathtub with Frankie as he tells the live feeders how fabulous he is. Yesterday, I listened to 20 minutes of Donny's crazy bird whistles, because the other cam was up in the HOH with the cuddle monsters!
The only thing worse than watching Cody & Christine cuddling all day would be if this creepy cuddle-mance turned into an even more creepy show-mance. Because then they would be smooching! Oh my gawd!!! Can you imagine that? No! No, don't even think about that! Visions of them smooching, all slobbery, with giant octopus arms all over each other, are making my head hurt!
No! Please don't ever let them be smooching! Let's all just calm the fook down and never think such thoughts again!
Have a Dorky Day!
Don't:
- Eat with your mouth open or talk with your mouth full
- Pick your nose or scratch your nuggets
- Snuggle and cuddle 24/7, ad nauseam, with another hg, especially one that is married.
Do:
- Wash your hands when you go to the bathroom
- Change your sheets, and your underwear
- Listen up when other hgs rag on you for cuddling so much with another (married) hg all the time
- Pay attention when Zingbot rags on you for the same thing!
I have to switch cams every time I see a Cody & Christine cuddle-grope going on. What the hell is Cody doing? Why is he still touching her? Why is he letting her touch him? Why hasn't one of the guys given him a good smack upside the head?
They seemed to restrain themselves a bit right after Zingbot called them out. That lasted about 15 minutes! But then they started up again, with a vengeance! It's like watching an octopus! So many arms and tentacles latching on to random body parts. Stroking, holding, rubbing, tickling, poking, grabbing, pulling! I can't stand it one more minute! Cody! Shut It Down!
He has made it to the final eight. He has strong players in his alliance telling him he spends too much time with Christine. They express their concern about all this cuddling. They tease him and call him out. Zingbot poked him in the chest and zinged him a new one!!! Does he listen? Nope!
Cody keeps telling Derrick that he doesn't trust Christine, she won't leave him alone, and she is driving him crazy. But five minutes later he and Christine are on cam again, all wrapped around each other. They were talking about how they didn't give a damn that everyone says they cuddle too much. Who cares if the other hgs think they spend way too much time together? They say "Fook them, let's cuddle some more right now!"
Fook you Cody! Fook you Christine! Thanks to you I have to switch cams, and suffer through an hour of BeastMode Cowboy talking about his imaginary future as a superstar. Or I end up in the bathtub with Frankie as he tells the live feeders how fabulous he is. Yesterday, I listened to 20 minutes of Donny's crazy bird whistles, because the other cam was up in the HOH with the cuddle monsters!
The only thing worse than watching Cody & Christine cuddling all day would be if this creepy cuddle-mance turned into an even more creepy show-mance. Because then they would be smooching! Oh my gawd!!! Can you imagine that? No! No, don't even think about that! Visions of them smooching, all slobbery, with giant octopus arms all over each other, are making my head hurt!
No! Please don't ever let them be smooching! Let's all just calm the fook down and never think such thoughts again!
Have a Dorky Day!
Monday, August 25, 2014
Team America Bombs On Broadway
BB Broadway was a bomb! Frankie and Derrick were the only ones in costume. Well, Caleb might have been in costume with his bandanna cap. It's hard to tell with him, because he will take just about anything and wrap it around his head. He definitely was not in drag. Dang it all, that's the only reason I tuned in to watch!
8/24 9:00 p.m. all cams
8/24 9:00 p.m. all cams
I still don't get why Frankie kept calling it a Broadway play. It just looked like a regular night in the BB house. Peeps sitting around imitating former house guests. Nothing Broadway about that.
There were some funny moments, with everyone doing pretty poor imitations of evicted hgs. The girls had some fun with it. Derrick and Caleb were terrible. Frankie was almost funny, but not quite. Donny was the star of the show! His impersonation of Devin was hilarious.! He nailed it!
There were some funny moments, with everyone doing pretty poor imitations of evicted hgs. The girls had some fun with it. Derrick and Caleb were terrible. Frankie was almost funny, but not quite. Donny was the star of the show! His impersonation of Devin was hilarious.! He nailed it!
Overall, it was a dreadful performance. It was mostly bearable, until Frankie did an encore. Then we had five long minutes of misery as Frankie took center stage. He was in character as Consuela, who I think is supposed to be his Brazillan housekeeper. It's one of his many characters that we have been subjected to all season.
He said this piece was from "the show", which would indicate he has previously performed this monologue for an audience. Obviously, an audience of a completely different sort than the people in the room last night, because this audience just didn't get it. It made them very uncomfortable.
He said this piece was from "the show", which would indicate he has previously performed this monologue for an audience. Obviously, an audience of a completely different sort than the people in the room last night, because this audience just didn't get it. It made them very uncomfortable.
And then, as it goes with most things on BB16, it got even more uncomfortable! Caleb got up and did a really, really, really, bad monologue. He was in character as some kind of psycho thug in the penitentiary. It was awful! The hgs just stared at him. Frankie's mouth was hanging open, and he was in shock. This wasn't Caleb joining in the fun to have a few laughs. This was Caleb acting!
Once again, Caleb has chosen the absolute worst material to use in yet another discover-me-now live feeds audition. It was horrible! All about stabbings, and killings, and punchings, and all kinds of dreadful things. Derrick looked miserable, like he was kissing $5,000 goodbye in his mind.
Once again, Caleb has chosen the absolute worst material to use in yet another discover-me-now live feeds audition. It was horrible! All about stabbings, and killings, and punchings, and all kinds of dreadful things. Derrick looked miserable, like he was kissing $5,000 goodbye in his mind.
Caleb switches characters mid sentence and becomes Tater, his hillbilly goofball character. Tater is mildly amusing, and mostly offensive. But at least we aren't in prison with a crazy man anymore. Frankie starts prompting Tater with questions, trying to get control of the situation. It's sort of funny for a few minutes, and then Frankie does something terrible.
He was asking Tater about his family, brothers, sisters, babies, etc. Tater's answers are confusing, and Frankie is trying to get Caleb to focus on the funny. And he asks Tater if his sisters have all of their limbs. WTF? He is sitting in a room with Donny, whose brother has no arms! What kind of let's-have-fun-and-put-on-a-play question is that?
I can't believe that Frankie didn't realize what he was saying. His questions were slow and calculated. But why would he say that on purpose? It was just awful. Why would you say something like this in the middle of a stupid task that you know is airing on BBAD? Team America better not get any money for this task. It was a major fail.
I usually end the post with something humorous. Something light, to leave you feeling good about Big Brother, no matter what fresh nonsense is going on in the feeds. But today I just can't get it up. I'm feeling all cranky and grumbly about Frankie and Team America. I just wish that Caleb had come in drag. I think that BeastMode Drag Queen really could have saved the day!
Have A Dorky Day!
Note: Donny's brother is missing one arm, and his other arm stops before the elbow with an incomplete hand.
I can't believe that Frankie didn't realize what he was saying. His questions were slow and calculated. But why would he say that on purpose? It was just awful. Why would you say something like this in the middle of a stupid task that you know is airing on BBAD? Team America better not get any money for this task. It was a major fail.
I usually end the post with something humorous. Something light, to leave you feeling good about Big Brother, no matter what fresh nonsense is going on in the feeds. But today I just can't get it up. I'm feeling all cranky and grumbly about Frankie and Team America. I just wish that Caleb had come in drag. I think that BeastMode Drag Queen really could have saved the day!
Have A Dorky Day!
Note: Donny's brother is missing one arm, and his other arm stops before the elbow with an incomplete hand.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Team America: The Broadway Show!
Nothing much happened on the feeds yesterday. Victoria fainted due to dehydration and pain from her wisdom teeth. She was whisked away to receive some IV treatment and is looking much better now. Cody won the POV comp. His alliance threw it to him in a great team effort to keep Donny on the block. This win could not have come at a better time. Just yesterday, Caleb revealed that Donny was the former head of the CIA! Donny is dangerous, and he needs to go!
The only other item of interest yesterday was the new Team America task. Donny told Frankie and Derrick that they had to make up their own mission, and then America will vote on whether it was a success or failure. This task must be completed before the Veto meeting on Monday. Donny suggests that they save someone from the block. Like maybe save him from the block. Because America would want them to stay together!
Oh Donny! This is so sad. It was so very painful to watch. I suppose it's good that he is still fighting. But this idea is slammed down faster than any other input he has given them on the TA tasks. This idea also has twitter all a'flutter with people saying that Donny has created a fake task to save himself.
It's a weird task for sure. But I think Donny has more respect for the rules, and America, than to use production as a strategy. Plus, they all talk to the dr about the missions, so it would be discovered as a fake soon enough. I think it's a real task.
Real or not, it will soon cause us all to suffer through an amped up Broadway version of Frankie, as the self appointed leader of this mission.
Frankie wants to put on a show! A Broadway show! And they can all impersonate other hgs! And Caleb can dress up in drag! And Frankie can write, direct, produce, and take all the credit for this task! And Ariana's fans will surely vote for them to win the money!
As I listen to Frankie and Derrick figure out the details for this mission, I am getting more cranky by the minute. This is not a mission! This is what hgs do on Big Brother every season! They impersonate other hgs. They put on some kind of stupid fashion show, or wedding, or beauty pageant. And every year the guys dress up in drag.
It's what you do when you are on BB and you are bored out of your mind. It's what you do if you crave camera time, and want to show off your special talent for being obnoxious! Why should Team America earn $5,000 each for something the hgs do every year for free?
Well, I am sure that Frankie will explain to the cameras how this is the best show in the history of BB. He has timed it to take place during BBAD. He has mentioned his sister's fans enough to get her attention, so that she can command them to vote for TA to win the money. He has already ruined the next 24 hours of feeds for me, and they haven't even started rehearsing yet!
Frankie and Derrick want us to believe that this task is all about giving Donny another $5,000 before he leaves the house. Donny has become Team America's schools in Africa. My cranky meter is about to blow!!!
Oh well. Maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the show. I'm sure there will be some silliness while the hgs perfect their characters, and practice their dance moves. Caleb in drag could turn out to be his best costume for the day ever! BeastMode Drag Queen might just save the day!
Have a Dorky Day!
The only other item of interest yesterday was the new Team America task. Donny told Frankie and Derrick that they had to make up their own mission, and then America will vote on whether it was a success or failure. This task must be completed before the Veto meeting on Monday. Donny suggests that they save someone from the block. Like maybe save him from the block. Because America would want them to stay together!
Oh Donny! This is so sad. It was so very painful to watch. I suppose it's good that he is still fighting. But this idea is slammed down faster than any other input he has given them on the TA tasks. This idea also has twitter all a'flutter with people saying that Donny has created a fake task to save himself.
It's a weird task for sure. But I think Donny has more respect for the rules, and America, than to use production as a strategy. Plus, they all talk to the dr about the missions, so it would be discovered as a fake soon enough. I think it's a real task.
Real or not, it will soon cause us all to suffer through an amped up Broadway version of Frankie, as the self appointed leader of this mission.
Frankie wants to put on a show! A Broadway show! And they can all impersonate other hgs! And Caleb can dress up in drag! And Frankie can write, direct, produce, and take all the credit for this task! And Ariana's fans will surely vote for them to win the money!
As I listen to Frankie and Derrick figure out the details for this mission, I am getting more cranky by the minute. This is not a mission! This is what hgs do on Big Brother every season! They impersonate other hgs. They put on some kind of stupid fashion show, or wedding, or beauty pageant. And every year the guys dress up in drag.
It's what you do when you are on BB and you are bored out of your mind. It's what you do if you crave camera time, and want to show off your special talent for being obnoxious! Why should Team America earn $5,000 each for something the hgs do every year for free?
Well, I am sure that Frankie will explain to the cameras how this is the best show in the history of BB. He has timed it to take place during BBAD. He has mentioned his sister's fans enough to get her attention, so that she can command them to vote for TA to win the money. He has already ruined the next 24 hours of feeds for me, and they haven't even started rehearsing yet!
Frankie and Derrick want us to believe that this task is all about giving Donny another $5,000 before he leaves the house. Donny has become Team America's schools in Africa. My cranky meter is about to blow!!!
Oh well. Maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the show. I'm sure there will be some silliness while the hgs perfect their characters, and practice their dance moves. Caleb in drag could turn out to be his best costume for the day ever! BeastMode Drag Queen might just save the day!
Have a Dorky Day!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Caleb Is 150% Sure That Donny Is A Dadgum Genius!
Yesterday, Caleb gathered more intel on Donny, the most dangerous Big Brother player in all the land. Caleb has had Donny under surveillance for most of this season. It was Caleb who discovered that Donny was ex-military, just by looking at his hairless ankles. Donny claims the hairs were rubbed off by his tall socks. Caleb informed his alliance that hairless ankles are a sure sign that Donny is ex-military. Caleb was the first to blow Donny's cover. And he's been on the case ever since.
They all agree that Donny has been lying about his occupation. Hours upon hours have been spent speculating on his true identity. The speculation has reached a new frenzy now that there are only 8 players left. And yesterday, Caleb revealed startling new evidence against Donny.
Are you ready for it? It's really big! Shocking! Conclusive! Mind blowing!
Donny ate a Sour Patch Kids candy! Caleb saw it! Caleb was there! And Donny said it reminded him of the good old days! And that right there proves he was in the military! Mind blowing! My mind is blown, isn't yours? My mind was so blown that I completely forgot to check the time on this convo, sorry about that.
Caleb told Cody and Derrick that in the army they give you MRE's, Meals Ready To Eat. And in the MRE packet there is always a piece of candy. A piece of sour candy! And Donny was sucking on that Sour Patch candy, saying how it reminded him of old times, and Caleb was right there when he said it! And when he said "old times" he looked right into Caleb's eyes, like he was telling him something! And Caleb knew, because Caleb is military too!
But wait! There's more! Later on, in the living room, Caleb reveals more proof of Donny's secret life as a military genius. Caleb was watching Donny earlier, and Donny was all fidgety, and his eyes, his eyes! Caleb saw Donny make squares with his eyes! Donny was looking at that square pattern up on the ceiling, and his eyes were making squares!!!
This proves that Donny is a genius! Because sometimes, when you are so genius, so smart, you have to be thinking even when you are not thinking! And making squares with your eyes is a sure sign you are thinking and not thinking at the same time!!!
While Derrick and Cody are listening to this, you can see that they are thinking that Caleb is completely koo-koo! You can tell they are trying so hard not to laugh. But they don't laugh! Nope!
They are members of the Best-Worst -Alliance ever, and they act accordingly. They jump right in and list all the other signs that point to Donny being an evil genius military mastermind. The camouflage clothing, the early bedtime and early wake up, the use of large words, his use of medical terms, his beard, his eating habits, his cricket whistle, etc.
Caleb lays one more piece of evidence on them. It turns out that Donny has been using OCD as a cover to hide his military intelligence training. The way that Donny packs his drawers, and lines up his belongings on the nightstand, reveals that he is either military intelligence or a weapons designer! This is actually old intel, but when you add this to the Sour Patch Kids evidence, it is obvious that Donny is a Secret Military Weapons Master!
8/22 4:48 p.m. cam 1-2
Caleb is going to stay on the case. His goal is to get Donny to confess everything. He already informed Donny that he was onto him. He told Donny "You are a genius, and you are making the rest of us look stupid!" And Donny didn't even deny it! Did not deny it at all! He just said "I appreciate that." So, there you go, he is 100% a dadgum genius!
Have a Dorky Day!
Friday, August 22, 2014
Bye-Bye Zach, Hello Nicole! Frankie...Shut Up!!!
Okay..so...Zach left, Nicole came back, there was no endurance comp, Cody won HOH, and Frankie tried his best to make everything about him. Poop-a-doop!
Zach leaves the house with a sprinkle of Froot Loops and a whole lot of class. This is really hard on Frankie because he loves the guy, but he had to go with what the house wanted. Zach gets to have lots-o-fun in jury house, but Frankie has to live with this really difficult, heartbreaking thing he had to do. It's so hard to be Frankie right now.
Nicole wins her way back into the game, and she tells Frankie his sister was in the audience on double eviction night! It's so great you are back in the house Nicole, but tell me more about my sister! And Nicole saw my sister's billboard! I mean, My Sister! She has a billboard!
The Bomb Squad has an emergency meeting and Derrick commands them all to never speak to Nicole behind closed doors. No one-on-one convos with Nicole allowed. Derrick is positively petrified that Nicole will try to defend herself against all the lies he and the Bomb Squad have told each other about her. After they all agree to this plan, Frankie leaves the room to give Nicole a smoochy hug, and tell her how happy he is that she is back. And now he wants to hear more about his sister's billboard!
And then, Cody wins the HOH. Frankie tells him they make such a great team! Frankie hosting, and Cody winning, that's teamwork! Yay for Frankie! Within minutes of the HOH reveal, Frankie shows up with his bags to move in for the week. Cody says please, please, can I just sleep alone for one night? Is that okay Frankie? Don't be mad, please, please. Ugh! And double ugh!
Nicole does manage to get some alone time with Cody. How did that happen? Where is the Bomb Squad special battalion of the Closed Door Patrol? Slacking already! Her talk with Cody does her no good whatsoever, but at least she tried.
The night devolved into a Donny and Nicole bash-fest. We had a brief intermission when Victoria was whining to Derrick about her Zings. She is worried that people think she is not playing the game. She is playing, playing hard! She cut up Zach's hat didn't she? She doesn't want to disappoint production! Production? WTF??
He seemed really irritated by her whining. He had to talk her down while keeping an eye on all those closed doors. And where is Nicole? She could be unraveling his spool of lies this very minute! Derrick's paranoia is working triple overtime, and Victoria is getting on his last nerve.
It's gonna be a long week for feed watchers. We are hoping for a Pandora's box intervention. Visions of the Diamond Power Of Veto dance in our head. Can Nicole survive the week so that she can win the next HOH comp? Which, by the way, better be endurance, or live feeders everywhere will be turning off the live feeds forever! Will Donny find a Pop-Tarts coup d'etat next time he visits the diary room? I hope so!
But if things keep going the way they are, and it looks like Donny is heading to the jury house, I sure hope he jumps right into the middle of the next Bomb Squad cuddle-fest and asks them all to play with his beard.
As Donny would say: If you can't beat them, do your best to freak them the hell out!
Have a Dorky Day!
Zach leaves the house with a sprinkle of Froot Loops and a whole lot of class. This is really hard on Frankie because he loves the guy, but he had to go with what the house wanted. Zach gets to have lots-o-fun in jury house, but Frankie has to live with this really difficult, heartbreaking thing he had to do. It's so hard to be Frankie right now.
Nicole wins her way back into the game, and she tells Frankie his sister was in the audience on double eviction night! It's so great you are back in the house Nicole, but tell me more about my sister! And Nicole saw my sister's billboard! I mean, My Sister! She has a billboard!
The Bomb Squad has an emergency meeting and Derrick commands them all to never speak to Nicole behind closed doors. No one-on-one convos with Nicole allowed. Derrick is positively petrified that Nicole will try to defend herself against all the lies he and the Bomb Squad have told each other about her. After they all agree to this plan, Frankie leaves the room to give Nicole a smoochy hug, and tell her how happy he is that she is back. And now he wants to hear more about his sister's billboard!
And then, Cody wins the HOH. Frankie tells him they make such a great team! Frankie hosting, and Cody winning, that's teamwork! Yay for Frankie! Within minutes of the HOH reveal, Frankie shows up with his bags to move in for the week. Cody says please, please, can I just sleep alone for one night? Is that okay Frankie? Don't be mad, please, please. Ugh! And double ugh!
Nicole does manage to get some alone time with Cody. How did that happen? Where is the Bomb Squad special battalion of the Closed Door Patrol? Slacking already! Her talk with Cody does her no good whatsoever, but at least she tried.
The night devolved into a Donny and Nicole bash-fest. We had a brief intermission when Victoria was whining to Derrick about her Zings. She is worried that people think she is not playing the game. She is playing, playing hard! She cut up Zach's hat didn't she? She doesn't want to disappoint production! Production? WTF??
He seemed really irritated by her whining. He had to talk her down while keeping an eye on all those closed doors. And where is Nicole? She could be unraveling his spool of lies this very minute! Derrick's paranoia is working triple overtime, and Victoria is getting on his last nerve.
It's gonna be a long week for feed watchers. We are hoping for a Pandora's box intervention. Visions of the Diamond Power Of Veto dance in our head. Can Nicole survive the week so that she can win the next HOH comp? Which, by the way, better be endurance, or live feeders everywhere will be turning off the live feeds forever! Will Donny find a Pop-Tarts coup d'etat next time he visits the diary room? I hope so!
But if things keep going the way they are, and it looks like Donny is heading to the jury house, I sure hope he jumps right into the middle of the next Bomb Squad cuddle-fest and asks them all to play with his beard.
As Donny would say: If you can't beat them, do your best to freak them the hell out!
Have a Dorky Day!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Bomb Squad: The Best Worst Alliance Ever!
Wow! The Bomb Squad caught Donny talking game! They are so smart! Nothing gets past them. They also caught him looking at the HOH spy screen when he was up in the HOH with them! He actually looked at the screen! How dare him!! Plus, they figured out that Zach and Donny have had an alliance from day one! I didn't know that! Did you know that?
Cody knew that! He told them all a long time ago:
Cody: Remember when I said Donny was dangerous?
Bomb Squad: Um..yeah..well..no...
Cody: Yeah, I said it! I remember! I think I said it! Did I say it?
Bomb Squad: Well..um..maybe..yeah, you probably did say that!
Cody: Maybe I thought I said it, but really only thought it.
Bomb Squad: Well, you definitely thought it dude!
Cody: And I said the same thing about Zach! I know for sure I thought it.
Bomb Squad: I think we saw you thinking one day!
Cody: And then I thought, those two are working together!
Bomb Squad: Yeah, you do think out loud sometimes, dude.
Cody: I knew it!
So, Cody is a BB genius! And so is Caleb! Caleb went into CreepMode yesterday and did his sneaky slithering thing up on the balcony outside HOH. And he heard Zach and Donny say things. Very important things! He heard Donny say that everyone was shunning him! He also heard Zach tell him that there never was an orange Skittle for Donny in the drawing for noms! That proves everything! They are in an alliance!
A very powerful super-alliance that consists of one hg sure to be evicted tomorrow, and another hg who has absolutely no one to work with in this game. They immediately go to code red alert! They jump up and down and start fighting over who gets to call Donny out!
Cody really wants to do it. He wants to call him out right NOW! Or maybe tomorrow? That might be better. Or after the HOH? What do you think? Or better yet after the POV. Yes, that's it. After the POV, Cody is pretty sure he will most likely be calling Donny out!
While Cody is looking for his day planner to pencil in the calling out, Derrick is fuming and sputtering about his own calling out plans. Donny told Christine that if he wins the HOH he will choose noms from a bag of M&M's. Derrick swears, on his daughters life, that he will smack that bag of M&M's out of Donny's hand if he dares to do that! How insulting to use M&M's for noms! Donny is a mad man! Doesn't he know that Skittles are the only BB approved nom candies?
Meanwhile, Victoria is jealous of all the time Derrick has been spending with Christine. And Cody is jealous of this too! And there was one whole hour yesterday when Cody had to play with his hair himself, because Christine and Victoria were busy spending time together. Dude, that's just wrong!
Frankie wants everyone to make Zach tell them his Donny secrets. Make him spill his Donny beans. But first, he wants to go cook another fish. He leaves the bean spilling details to his trusty alliance.
The Bomb Squad. The absolute Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history.
Have A Dorky Day!
Cody knew that! He told them all a long time ago:
Cody: Remember when I said Donny was dangerous?
Bomb Squad: Um..yeah..well..no...
Cody: Yeah, I said it! I remember! I think I said it! Did I say it?
Bomb Squad: Well..um..maybe..yeah, you probably did say that!
Cody: Maybe I thought I said it, but really only thought it.
Bomb Squad: Well, you definitely thought it dude!
Cody: And I said the same thing about Zach! I know for sure I thought it.
Bomb Squad: I think we saw you thinking one day!
Cody: And then I thought, those two are working together!
Bomb Squad: Yeah, you do think out loud sometimes, dude.
Cody: I knew it!
So, Cody is a BB genius! And so is Caleb! Caleb went into CreepMode yesterday and did his sneaky slithering thing up on the balcony outside HOH. And he heard Zach and Donny say things. Very important things! He heard Donny say that everyone was shunning him! He also heard Zach tell him that there never was an orange Skittle for Donny in the drawing for noms! That proves everything! They are in an alliance!
A very powerful super-alliance that consists of one hg sure to be evicted tomorrow, and another hg who has absolutely no one to work with in this game. They immediately go to code red alert! They jump up and down and start fighting over who gets to call Donny out!
Cody really wants to do it. He wants to call him out right NOW! Or maybe tomorrow? That might be better. Or after the HOH? What do you think? Or better yet after the POV. Yes, that's it. After the POV, Cody is pretty sure he will most likely be calling Donny out!
While Cody is looking for his day planner to pencil in the calling out, Derrick is fuming and sputtering about his own calling out plans. Donny told Christine that if he wins the HOH he will choose noms from a bag of M&M's. Derrick swears, on his daughters life, that he will smack that bag of M&M's out of Donny's hand if he dares to do that! How insulting to use M&M's for noms! Donny is a mad man! Doesn't he know that Skittles are the only BB approved nom candies?
Meanwhile, Victoria is jealous of all the time Derrick has been spending with Christine. And Cody is jealous of this too! And there was one whole hour yesterday when Cody had to play with his hair himself, because Christine and Victoria were busy spending time together. Dude, that's just wrong!
Frankie wants everyone to make Zach tell them his Donny secrets. Make him spill his Donny beans. But first, he wants to go cook another fish. He leaves the bean spilling details to his trusty alliance.
The Bomb Squad. The absolute Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history.
Have A Dorky Day!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
#PinkHatProject
Yesterday was another mostly lazy day on the feeds. Derrick was working everyone, in his own lazy way. Hey dude! While we are sitting here just enjoying an easy week, let me plant some seeds in the fertile ground of your bored-to-tears brain. He broke down the big picture for each house guest. He had a slightly different big picture for each of them. Derrick is tricky that way.
Zach was trying his best to see this big picture. He wants to know just how big is this big picture? And where is it hiding? Who is in charge of this big picture? Zach tried to paint his own big picture for them, but nobody showed any interest.
Donny and Zach had a few good convos about working together if Zach comes back in the house after he is evicted. It was kind of exciting to think it could happen, and kind of sad because it probably won't. They both seemed to be speaking the truth to each other.
Frankie and Cody had a convo about being super close, and super tight, and super bff's. And nobody even suspects that they are super-duper working together! Frankie fed Cody some more super lies, and Cody thought they were super delicious. It was a really super convo.
Cody and Christine may have talked game, but I cannot watch them anymore, so if they did I missed it. Caleb, Derrick, and Frankie had a long convo about Cody and Christine being so close even after the Zings they got from Zingbot. Caleb seems very concerned about this. He deems it inappropriate. BeastMode Bunny Slippers, newly released from StalkMance Rehab, is deeply offended by their unseemly behavior.
Victoria and Christine talked about how Donny is an evil, conniving, pervert. They seemed focused on the pervert part. Seriously? They are living in a house with guys who hump each other every five minutes, have running gags about balls and holes, share daily reports on Jack Shack activities, and Donny is the perv?
Victoria spent most of the day obsessing about the symbolism of the shredded pink hat. She hopes that her parents are proud of her for taking a knife to that hat. Her own hat, her own property, which she gave to Zach and then took back. She really wants him to go berzerkers about that hat. Her eyes get all dreamy when she thinks about it.
The Shredding Of The Pink Hat has had a galvanizing effect on live feeders. Up until the shredding, most of us were hoping that the pink hat would meet a fiery death in that comp where the hgs each have to burn one article of clothing. We hated that hat. Zach fidgeted with that hat all the time. That hat was the pink cherry on the cake of his ridiculous daily attire.
But now, fickle feeders that we are, we take the hat shredding and we create our own symbolism. We form our own Pink Hat Alliance and spread the word far and wide. We send pink hat care packages to live feeders on the West Coast, so that they can throw them over the wall of the BB back yard, to show our Zach love!
#PinkHatProject will soon be trending world wide. If even one pink hat sails over that wall to land at Zach's feet, we will have done our part to create a whole new level of paranoia in that BB house! And if Victoria so much as looks at that pink hat sideways, we will implement #OperationBlackCrow, and she will be carried away to a land where no princess has ever gone before!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Zach was trying his best to see this big picture. He wants to know just how big is this big picture? And where is it hiding? Who is in charge of this big picture? Zach tried to paint his own big picture for them, but nobody showed any interest.
Donny and Zach had a few good convos about working together if Zach comes back in the house after he is evicted. It was kind of exciting to think it could happen, and kind of sad because it probably won't. They both seemed to be speaking the truth to each other.
Frankie and Cody had a convo about being super close, and super tight, and super bff's. And nobody even suspects that they are super-duper working together! Frankie fed Cody some more super lies, and Cody thought they were super delicious. It was a really super convo.
Cody and Christine may have talked game, but I cannot watch them anymore, so if they did I missed it. Caleb, Derrick, and Frankie had a long convo about Cody and Christine being so close even after the Zings they got from Zingbot. Caleb seems very concerned about this. He deems it inappropriate. BeastMode Bunny Slippers, newly released from StalkMance Rehab, is deeply offended by their unseemly behavior.
Victoria and Christine talked about how Donny is an evil, conniving, pervert. They seemed focused on the pervert part. Seriously? They are living in a house with guys who hump each other every five minutes, have running gags about balls and holes, share daily reports on Jack Shack activities, and Donny is the perv?
Victoria spent most of the day obsessing about the symbolism of the shredded pink hat. She hopes that her parents are proud of her for taking a knife to that hat. Her own hat, her own property, which she gave to Zach and then took back. She really wants him to go berzerkers about that hat. Her eyes get all dreamy when she thinks about it.
The Shredding Of The Pink Hat has had a galvanizing effect on live feeders. Up until the shredding, most of us were hoping that the pink hat would meet a fiery death in that comp where the hgs each have to burn one article of clothing. We hated that hat. Zach fidgeted with that hat all the time. That hat was the pink cherry on the cake of his ridiculous daily attire.
But now, fickle feeders that we are, we take the hat shredding and we create our own symbolism. We form our own Pink Hat Alliance and spread the word far and wide. We send pink hat care packages to live feeders on the West Coast, so that they can throw them over the wall of the BB back yard, to show our Zach love!
#PinkHatProject will soon be trending world wide. If even one pink hat sails over that wall to land at Zach's feet, we will have done our part to create a whole new level of paranoia in that BB house! And if Victoria so much as looks at that pink hat sideways, we will implement #OperationBlackCrow, and she will be carried away to a land where no princess has ever gone before!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Hide Your Hats, She Has A Knife!!!
Zach is doomed. It's hopeless. He is up on the block as a replacement nom and he will be going out the door this week. Usually I pray for a good twist, a secret power, or some such nonsense to save a hg in his position. But I fear that nothing can save his silly monkey-butt now.
Some fans yelling their love over the backyard wall cheered him up a bit last night. Caleb and Frankie turned a little pale when they heard what sounded like insults for them, and cheers for Zach. I wish it had been a banner plain that could spell it out for those two. There are few things as glorious as the paranoia a banner plane can cause when it blazes the truth across the BB sky. I miss the banner planes, Amen.
Frankie spent the day making sure that everyone hates Zach. He rehashed all the mean things that Zach has said and done, embellishing to the point of lying. Even though Zach has said some nasty things, I still love him. That's the kicker. I love Zach for his mischief making, his absolute delight in creating chaos. Over time he has redeemed himself, and I have absolved him of all sins. That's what BB is all about. We hate them, we love them, we hate them, we love them. We are a fickle fandom.
Victoria doesn't love him. She spent the last two days working herself into a tizzy about Zach. It's not enough that Zach is going to be evicted. She wants to make him so mad he will do something crazy and get himself removed from the house. In handcuffs. With a police escort.
So, she stole his pink hat. Which is actually her pink hat. She gave it to Zach way back when. She plans to cut it into tiny pieces and give it back to him. She hope this will incite him to riot. He leaves his hat unattended for a few minutes and she grabs it. She screams for Christine to bring her a knife!
And then we have a quick visit to the fish tank. The feeds return and the hat is nowhere to be seen. She smiles an evil smile. She mutters insults in Hebrew. She is a happy little princess for about ten minutes before she starts to worry about what he will do when he finds out his hat is missing. What will he do when he sees that she has slashed that hat to shreds? She imagines him doing all kinds of horrible things to her. She is both afraid, and thrilled, that he might try to hurt her. Every scenario she describes begins with him throwing boiling water on her face, and ends with Zach in handcuffs.
Not too long ago Zach came up with a plan to make Devin so mad he would attack Zach and get himself thrown out of the house. It was the first of Zach's many completely ridiculous Best-Worst-Plans-Ever. That's when I really fell in love with Zach.
I'm not loving Victoria right now, but I kind of like that she actually did something besides cry, and whine, and pluck her facial hair. You go girl! You got game! Way to get a jury vote!
I'm praying that Zach can maintain his cool long enough to ensure that no handcuffs will be involved in his eviction. His game is a mess, he sleeps half the time, he won't change his clothes, and he loves to start trouble. But I love him! I want him to stay. I hope that Thursday's twisted jury twist saves his monkey-butt and sends him right back into the house! Monkey-butt FTW!!!
Have A Dorky Day!
p.s. If you live near the BB house please throw some pink hats over the wall
#PinkHatProject..get tweeting!
Thanks to Kristine B. and DeAnna B.
p.s. If you live near the BB house please throw some pink hats over the wall
#PinkHatProject..get tweeting!
Thanks to Kristine B. and DeAnna B.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Where Is That Damn Rule Book?
What can I say? Team America finally gets a fun task, and they twist it to make Zach the target once again. They must steal a piece of clothing from each hg and form a neighborhood watch to patrol the house for 24 hours. It's great fun to see the hgs go crazy trying to find all the things that Team America has hidden. The patrol uniforms are hilarious. Frankie's patrol songs are annoyingly loud but still kind of fun. Caleb is a little scary though. He is following Victoria around, up close and personal. I keep expecting him to give her a chest bump. BeastMode Bully at your service, ma'am.
Zach is climbing on the furniture wondering who the hell set the monkeys loose. Last thing he knew, the monkeys were safely locked up until he needed them. Now the monkeys have been set free by persons unknown, and he is getting blamed for it. Some serious monkey business is going down!
But it's no fun watching Frankie and Derrick try to ruin Zach's game one more time. They are only too happy to blame Zach for the missing items. Then Frankie begins his own secret mission to convince everyone that Zach has been a saboteur all along. And that he has been making piles of money while trying to sabotage them all! It's the thought of Zach making money from his mischief that really makes everyone mad.
It's all about not getting blood on his hands. Frankie will now be the hero for getting the saboteur out of the game! Frankie even blames Zach for forcing them to use Skittles to choose noms. It's all Zach's fault for not volunteering to go on the block to throw the BOB. Those Skittles are proof positive that Zach is the saboteur!
Out in the back yard, Zach has an attack of monkey fever. He steals the cue ball, and hides it in the bathroom. Zach, you silly monkey butt! You are hopeless! Doomed! You have zillions of fans rooting for you right now! Even Frankie's superstar sister is tweeting mind control messages to Frankie to keep you safe!
Caleb and Cody, on patrol in their Chippendales costumes, find the missing cue ball, and the lynch mob is now victorious. That cue ball has sealed Zach's fate. Then the missing items are discovered. The hgs celebrate for a bit, and then it's back to patrolling the house. Most of the patrolling focuses on Zach. They patrol him up one side and down the other. They patrol him up the wazoo.
Frankie and Caleb take Zach up into the HOH to tell him he will be going on the block. Frankie takes every opportunity to tell Zach that everybody wants him out. He repeats this over and over as he lists all the reasons Zach must go.Frankie very clearly says that he will be putting Zach up as the replacement nom.
This is against the rules. People do it all the time, but it's usually not this obvious.. Does Frankie have a secret plan to get caught breaking this rule? Does he want it to appear that he has no choice but to nom someone else? Someone like Derrick perhaps? Is Frankie that smart? Is it even a possibility that production would enforce this rule? Of course not.
Zach, our little monkey mischief maker, seems to take this news pretty well. He agrees that it's the best move for Frankie to nom him. He encourages him to nom him. Why waste an HOH getting Victoria out of the house? She isn't even playing the game dude, you gotta nominate me!
Meanwhile, Victoria is convinced she is the best BB player in the house, because she said that Zach was a saboteur week two!!! She knew it all along! She has this game all figured out! "OMG you guys, I am smarter than all of you!"
The neighborhood watch soldiers on. The duty roster is posted. For Team America's task to succeed they must have a pair of hgs on watch at all times for 24 hours. This pair cannot be two TA members. And they can't just lay around, they have to actively patrol. Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, the watch falls apart, and we have a solitary guard just sitting there.
Around this time twitter goes crazy with cries of foul play. Frankie broke the rules by telling Zach he is going up!!! This rule is broken every week, but now people.want production to wake up and dispense punishment! Plus, Team America did not complete it's task, because there were solitary guards who didn't even patrol!!! Where is the rule book? Live feeders everywhere are demanding justice!
People really want Frankie to get a spankie! And they don't want Team America to get any money for this task. I don't either. I say give it to the monkeys, and set them free for good.
Have a Dorky Day!
Sunday, August 17, 2014
We Interrupt This Blog To Bring You The Frankie Show!
Frankie won the veto. Once he saw who was hosting the veto comp, he knew he had to win it. For his people. Wait..whut? His people? What is he talking about? His twitter followers? His YouTube fans? Ariana's fans? Who are, by blood, now his fans? Nope.
Surprise! Surprise! Frankie has a whole new set of people he is playing for. He has dropped hints about these people throughout the season, but now it's official.
The host was Kathy Griffin, who is, among other things, a major advocate and activist for LGBT awareness and support. Frankie is sure that she was hand picked to host that comp so that he could win for them, the LGBT community. His community. He had no choice but to win it, for them. His people!
As he stands before the other house guests and makes this announcement, you can see their confusion. Wait, Frankie has more people he is playing for? What about the children in Africa? Aren't they who he's playing for? WTF?
Frankie is one serious piece of work. The thing is, he is probably speaking the truth. Kathy Griffin has been tireless in her work for the LGBT community. And fearless. She probably did inspire Frankie to win it for his people. I can see how it would be extremely emotional for him to have her right there in the BB back yard.
Whatever else Frankie is, he is gay. And being gay in this world today is not easy, no matter how fun Frankie is making it look on BB. Frankie has talked about his own gay activism. He seems to have a big heart, and is willing to work hard for causes that he believes in. So when he gets to meet someone who has stood up for his rights to be gay, to be equal, to be recognized, I am sure it was big time emotional.
But, from our perspective, Frankie's head is way bigger than his heart. And that's why we groaned, and moaned, and disliked Frankie just a little bit more when he said that. Because we know it will now become part of the Frankie Show we must endure on the feeds. One more skit to add to his repertoire. One more deep discussion he can have with each of the hgs, after he checks to be sure the cameras are on him.
Plus, all we wanna hear about is Zingbot!!! I love Kathy Griffin, and it will be great fun to see her on the show, but I wanna hear the Zings! Cody and Chris got double zinged! Woohoo! They seem truly shocked that their Zings implied that their relationship was inappropriate. Christine is angry that her husband's name was mentioned in Cody's zing.
Frankie tells her to just go to the dr and tell them she doesn't want them to use that on the show. He says this like he's done it before. He says it as though production actually listens to his demands.
See? This is why, no matter how generous and caring Frankie may be in real life, we see only his bad side. He acts like he joined "the other BB". Like Goldie Hawn, in the movie Private Benjamin, when she claimed she had joined "the other Army". The one with beaches, and cocktails, and luxuries galore. Like Elissa Reilly in BB15.
Zingbot also upset Victoria with her Zing. Something about her not playing the game. Victoria signed up for an entirely different "other BB". The one with unicorns, and rainbows, where she would be the Princess, and everyone would play nice. Plus, her head hurts from her extensions. Her head is bleeding! And her wisdom teeth are coming in, and her head hurts! And she is on slop! And Zingbot was mean! Everyone else's zings were personal, hers was about her game! That's mean!
Oh, and by the way, there is now a plan to backdoor Zach! Frankie says he will take Caleb down and put Zach up. But first he wants a meeting where they will completely humiliate and demoralize Zach. They will tell him it's his own fault, he deserves to go, and there is no hope so just shut up and go quietly. Frankie wants to euthanize Zach. Put him to sleep slowly and then use a knife to finish the job. This is another example of Frankie's big heart in action. Such a great guy!
I wonder if Frankie will really put Zach on the block. I suspect that he might pull a switcheroo, and put up Derrick at the last minute. I could elaborate on these suspicions. But the Frankie Show took over my blog and there is no room for anything else!
Have a Dorky Day!
Surprise! Surprise! Frankie has a whole new set of people he is playing for. He has dropped hints about these people throughout the season, but now it's official.
The host was Kathy Griffin, who is, among other things, a major advocate and activist for LGBT awareness and support. Frankie is sure that she was hand picked to host that comp so that he could win for them, the LGBT community. His community. He had no choice but to win it, for them. His people!
As he stands before the other house guests and makes this announcement, you can see their confusion. Wait, Frankie has more people he is playing for? What about the children in Africa? Aren't they who he's playing for? WTF?
Frankie is one serious piece of work. The thing is, he is probably speaking the truth. Kathy Griffin has been tireless in her work for the LGBT community. And fearless. She probably did inspire Frankie to win it for his people. I can see how it would be extremely emotional for him to have her right there in the BB back yard.
Whatever else Frankie is, he is gay. And being gay in this world today is not easy, no matter how fun Frankie is making it look on BB. Frankie has talked about his own gay activism. He seems to have a big heart, and is willing to work hard for causes that he believes in. So when he gets to meet someone who has stood up for his rights to be gay, to be equal, to be recognized, I am sure it was big time emotional.
But, from our perspective, Frankie's head is way bigger than his heart. And that's why we groaned, and moaned, and disliked Frankie just a little bit more when he said that. Because we know it will now become part of the Frankie Show we must endure on the feeds. One more skit to add to his repertoire. One more deep discussion he can have with each of the hgs, after he checks to be sure the cameras are on him.
Plus, all we wanna hear about is Zingbot!!! I love Kathy Griffin, and it will be great fun to see her on the show, but I wanna hear the Zings! Cody and Chris got double zinged! Woohoo! They seem truly shocked that their Zings implied that their relationship was inappropriate. Christine is angry that her husband's name was mentioned in Cody's zing.
Frankie tells her to just go to the dr and tell them she doesn't want them to use that on the show. He says this like he's done it before. He says it as though production actually listens to his demands.
See? This is why, no matter how generous and caring Frankie may be in real life, we see only his bad side. He acts like he joined "the other BB". Like Goldie Hawn, in the movie Private Benjamin, when she claimed she had joined "the other Army". The one with beaches, and cocktails, and luxuries galore. Like Elissa Reilly in BB15.
Zingbot also upset Victoria with her Zing. Something about her not playing the game. Victoria signed up for an entirely different "other BB". The one with unicorns, and rainbows, where she would be the Princess, and everyone would play nice. Plus, her head hurts from her extensions. Her head is bleeding! And her wisdom teeth are coming in, and her head hurts! And she is on slop! And Zingbot was mean! Everyone else's zings were personal, hers was about her game! That's mean!
Oh, and by the way, there is now a plan to backdoor Zach! Frankie says he will take Caleb down and put Zach up. But first he wants a meeting where they will completely humiliate and demoralize Zach. They will tell him it's his own fault, he deserves to go, and there is no hope so just shut up and go quietly. Frankie wants to euthanize Zach. Put him to sleep slowly and then use a knife to finish the job. This is another example of Frankie's big heart in action. Such a great guy!
I wonder if Frankie will really put Zach on the block. I suspect that he might pull a switcheroo, and put up Derrick at the last minute. I could elaborate on these suspicions. But the Frankie Show took over my blog and there is no room for anything else!
Have a Dorky Day!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Isn't This Season Over Yet???
Donny won the BOB!! Christine tried to throw it but failed miserably. They had to find bones in a dark room and fit them into something. There was some talk yesterday that production called her out during the comp by announcing that she could not give other players any bones. This means that her cover is blown, and Donny surely knows that he was the real target. Meanwhile, Donny got enough bones by himself to win the comp. Good for you Donny!!!
The hgs are once again completely convinced that Donny must have a secret identity that includes superpowers. They discuss this theory at length, while Donny lays down in his bed to have a quiet little cry. It's lonely having superpowers. Very lonely.
We won't really know anything much until we know who wins the POV. Then the feeds should perk right up. Seeds are being planted by Derrick to have Zach go up as replacement nom, if the opportunity arises. This is exciting for about five minutes, and then I lose interest. It's just Derrick doing what he does so well. If the POV were in play it would be much more exciting. But for now it's just making me yawn.
Live feeders everywhere are yawning. There has been a mass exodus the past two weeks. It happens every season. The game gets predictable, the feeds get boring, and people stop watching the feeds. Chat rooms empty out and they begin to feel like ghost rooms. Hellooooooooooooooo? Anybody here?
I stick with it. I hang on. I may be lurking a bit more, doing more cleaning and less chatting. I may be getting out into the world more, shocking friends I haven't seen in two months with a surprise visit. But I can never completely give up on the feeds, or the season.
I have stopped watching Survivor mid season several times. The last three times I watched The Amazing Race I never made it to the finale. But Big Brother keeps me hanging on every year. It's all a part of the game. The down time. The mind numbing convos. The endless hours of makeup and nail polish.
I do avoid the feeds when the hgs start studying for comps every day, all day. This is torture for me to sit through, I just can't do it. I can watch hours of cleaning, or sleeping, or anything else, but not studying.
I might check out for a morning or an afternoon here and there. But then the itch to know what's happening grows strong. So, I have to check back in and see what kind of nothing is going on now.
I miss my chat peeps who have already bailed on this season. I feel somehow abandoned when another chatter announces they are done with these dodo-heads and will not be back. It's kind of like they are self evicting from the game.
You signed up for the game, you knew what you were coming into, stick it out! Think about all the people who work all day, and are busy all night, who would love to be watching these feeds! What about the other chatters? We depend on you for info, and laughter, and links! We need your links so that we can keep up with what's not happening on the feeds! What about the children in Africa who need you to vote for Frankie??!!!
Okay, I am just kidding about the voting for Frankie part. But I do miss the chatters who have left us all behind. I even have a fave blogger who rarely makes it through a season. Breaks my heart every season when I log on and there is no new post. I feel abandoned.
But I can see why. I get the picture. I smell what she's stepping in. How do you write about nothing new happening, day in and day out? How do you watch nothing happen for hours at a time, and then write about it?
Well, I think we are all about to find out. I may take a few days off here and there just so my head doesn't explode. But I will not abandon you. I will write about nothing happening like nobody has ever done before!!! I will write about the stinky fridge. I will compose haiku about the ants. I will keep you up to date on who is pooping and who isn't. I may even start a few petitions just to shake up this dorky little BB blog .
No, I will not abandon you. But you might have to abandon me! Save yourselves now! The only thing that could possibly be worse than watching boring feeds and then writing about them, would be watching boring feeds and then reading about them! Oh my gawd, you poor souls!
Have a Dorky Day!
p.s. I may be taking tomorrow off. <<----------not abandoning you!!!
The hgs are once again completely convinced that Donny must have a secret identity that includes superpowers. They discuss this theory at length, while Donny lays down in his bed to have a quiet little cry. It's lonely having superpowers. Very lonely.
We won't really know anything much until we know who wins the POV. Then the feeds should perk right up. Seeds are being planted by Derrick to have Zach go up as replacement nom, if the opportunity arises. This is exciting for about five minutes, and then I lose interest. It's just Derrick doing what he does so well. If the POV were in play it would be much more exciting. But for now it's just making me yawn.
Live feeders everywhere are yawning. There has been a mass exodus the past two weeks. It happens every season. The game gets predictable, the feeds get boring, and people stop watching the feeds. Chat rooms empty out and they begin to feel like ghost rooms. Hellooooooooooooooo? Anybody here?
I stick with it. I hang on. I may be lurking a bit more, doing more cleaning and less chatting. I may be getting out into the world more, shocking friends I haven't seen in two months with a surprise visit. But I can never completely give up on the feeds, or the season.
I have stopped watching Survivor mid season several times. The last three times I watched The Amazing Race I never made it to the finale. But Big Brother keeps me hanging on every year. It's all a part of the game. The down time. The mind numbing convos. The endless hours of makeup and nail polish.
I do avoid the feeds when the hgs start studying for comps every day, all day. This is torture for me to sit through, I just can't do it. I can watch hours of cleaning, or sleeping, or anything else, but not studying.
I might check out for a morning or an afternoon here and there. But then the itch to know what's happening grows strong. So, I have to check back in and see what kind of nothing is going on now.
I miss my chat peeps who have already bailed on this season. I feel somehow abandoned when another chatter announces they are done with these dodo-heads and will not be back. It's kind of like they are self evicting from the game.
You signed up for the game, you knew what you were coming into, stick it out! Think about all the people who work all day, and are busy all night, who would love to be watching these feeds! What about the other chatters? We depend on you for info, and laughter, and links! We need your links so that we can keep up with what's not happening on the feeds! What about the children in Africa who need you to vote for Frankie??!!!
Okay, I am just kidding about the voting for Frankie part. But I do miss the chatters who have left us all behind. I even have a fave blogger who rarely makes it through a season. Breaks my heart every season when I log on and there is no new post. I feel abandoned.
But I can see why. I get the picture. I smell what she's stepping in. How do you write about nothing new happening, day in and day out? How do you watch nothing happen for hours at a time, and then write about it?
Well, I think we are all about to find out. I may take a few days off here and there just so my head doesn't explode. But I will not abandon you. I will write about nothing happening like nobody has ever done before!!! I will write about the stinky fridge. I will compose haiku about the ants. I will keep you up to date on who is pooping and who isn't. I may even start a few petitions just to shake up this dorky little BB blog .
No, I will not abandon you. But you might have to abandon me! Save yourselves now! The only thing that could possibly be worse than watching boring feeds and then writing about them, would be watching boring feeds and then reading about them! Oh my gawd, you poor souls!
Have a Dorky Day!
p.s. I may be taking tomorrow off. <<----------not abandoning you!!!
Friday, August 15, 2014
Volunteer And Taste The Rainbow!
Bye Bye Nicole! Hello Frankie show! Now complete with an Ariana soundtrack! Let's all sing along and notice how BB just lets us keep on singing! Let's listen to Frankie name drop a thousand names in ten minutes! Let's kiss Frankie's famous butt!
Frankie and Derrick decide that since neither of them wants to nom anybody, they will ask for volunteers. Dude, that's the way to make a big move! Seriously awesome! Ugh! It's like a hand sanitizer against getting any blood on your hands.
They decide that Derrick should be the final HOH. This means that Frankie will be free for the next HOH comp, which they are certain will be endurance. They will pretend that they have played rock-paper-scissors to make this decision. That's another coat of no-blood hand sanitizer right there.
Donny is the target. Two of the three Team America Alliance members are ready to turn on the third. But they don't want any blood on their hands. No! No! No! Plus, they want to stay in Donny's good graces in case they get a Team America Mission. They will tell Donny that Victoria is the real target. That way they can still work with him to get another $5,000. Then they will vote his ass out. Team America is awesome, dude!!
They hold a meeting up in the HOH. Everyone is invited but Victoria and Donny. Derrick and Frankie explain that this week it's all about volunteers. This alliance is a democracy! I am not sure if this is a meeting of the Zombie Bomb Squad or The Detonators, but whatever their name is they need volunteers! Frankie and Derrick keep saying they will not choose the noms, and everyone else keeps not volunteering. Derrick and Frankie promise that the volunteers will be safe. There is no way a volunteer can go home. Unless somebody lies. Unless they turn on each other. Sounds legit to me.
This brings us to the Skittles. This pitiful excuse for an alliance draws skittles from Derrick's hat to choose the noms. Christine is the loser, and she will be going up on the block next to Donny. She must throw the comp to ensure the other Skittle victims win the BOB comp. More Skittles come out of the hat, and Caleb and Cody are now the nom choices for the other side.
The Skittles are another tool to protect the hands from blood. Someone, somewhere is entering Skittles into the Big Brother 16 Wikipedia page. Live feeders are busy throwing Skittles at their computer screens. Skittles stock may drop significantly due to this sourpuss Skittles party.
There is no Skittles rainbow in that HOH. These Skittles volunteers are all sad and gloomy as the meeting breaks up. No matter how many times Derrick and Frankie explain that everyone is safe with this no fail plan, there are no smiles or high-fives.
There is one ray of sunshine in this scandalous Skittles scenario. If Derrick does end up being the final HOH, this leaves the door open to back door Frankie. And if that happens, a mighty Skittles rainbow will be seen all across the land!
Have a Dorky Day!
Frankie and Derrick decide that since neither of them wants to nom anybody, they will ask for volunteers. Dude, that's the way to make a big move! Seriously awesome! Ugh! It's like a hand sanitizer against getting any blood on your hands.
They decide that Derrick should be the final HOH. This means that Frankie will be free for the next HOH comp, which they are certain will be endurance. They will pretend that they have played rock-paper-scissors to make this decision. That's another coat of no-blood hand sanitizer right there.
Donny is the target. Two of the three Team America Alliance members are ready to turn on the third. But they don't want any blood on their hands. No! No! No! Plus, they want to stay in Donny's good graces in case they get a Team America Mission. They will tell Donny that Victoria is the real target. That way they can still work with him to get another $5,000. Then they will vote his ass out. Team America is awesome, dude!!
They hold a meeting up in the HOH. Everyone is invited but Victoria and Donny. Derrick and Frankie explain that this week it's all about volunteers. This alliance is a democracy! I am not sure if this is a meeting of the Zombie Bomb Squad or The Detonators, but whatever their name is they need volunteers! Frankie and Derrick keep saying they will not choose the noms, and everyone else keeps not volunteering. Derrick and Frankie promise that the volunteers will be safe. There is no way a volunteer can go home. Unless somebody lies. Unless they turn on each other. Sounds legit to me.
This brings us to the Skittles. This pitiful excuse for an alliance draws skittles from Derrick's hat to choose the noms. Christine is the loser, and she will be going up on the block next to Donny. She must throw the comp to ensure the other Skittle victims win the BOB comp. More Skittles come out of the hat, and Caleb and Cody are now the nom choices for the other side.
The Skittles are another tool to protect the hands from blood. Someone, somewhere is entering Skittles into the Big Brother 16 Wikipedia page. Live feeders are busy throwing Skittles at their computer screens. Skittles stock may drop significantly due to this sourpuss Skittles party.
There is no Skittles rainbow in that HOH. These Skittles volunteers are all sad and gloomy as the meeting breaks up. No matter how many times Derrick and Frankie explain that everyone is safe with this no fail plan, there are no smiles or high-fives.
There is one ray of sunshine in this scandalous Skittles scenario. If Derrick does end up being the final HOH, this leaves the door open to back door Frankie. And if that happens, a mighty Skittles rainbow will be seen all across the land!
Have a Dorky Day!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Zombie Polka Party!
Wow! I think I might be a victim of the zombie plague! This explains why I was so cranky yesterday. Chances are you have it too, because BB says that 40% of live feeders have the zombie virus!
News of the zombie virus quarantine certainly livened up the feeds last night. After hours of sleeping, yawning, cleaning, and Jenga, we had some excitement at last. It began with zombie/skeletons appearing in the mirrors. Then the feeds would go to fish while BB gave the hgs zombie news headlines. This went on through the night. The hgs worked hard to memorize the clues as they tried to imagine what kind of comp was coming.
I was busy imagining it myself. I think it will be a Zombie Polka Party! And the losers will have penalties that include accordions, roller skates, and the Chicken Dance! But don't pay any attention to me, I think I have already reached stage two of the zombie virus.
Donny slept through the first half of all the zombie excitement. He was really cranky when he finally woke up and joined the fun. Uh oh! I hope he isn't already infected! The guys really wanted to keep Donny in the dark about the clues they had already received. But soon enough Donny was caught up on all the zombie news.
So we had a night of zombies and Jenga. Everyone is busy studying clues and talking trash about Nicole and Donny. Nicole is the biggest liar ever in BB history! Everything she says is a lie! And Donny is an evil, nasty man who is plotting against all of them! He is a vile human being! Their brains are working overtime thinking up mean things to say about these two. Brains that I will gladly serve up on a platter when the zombies arrive for the party.
Even Derrick is making things up about Nicole. When Victoria mentions Nicole's suspicions about a five person guys alliance, Derrick tells her that Nicole has been lying about everything since day one. He told her Nicole must be a pathological liar. The word pathological makes Victoria freak out a little bit more. Pathological? Wow! That's serious!
Feeds should be more of the same today. Right up until the show tonight. I don't expect any surprises during the eviction. And then Nicole will be talking to Julie, while Donnie prepares to fight for his life one more time. I sure hope that Donny finds the helmet I threw over the wall to protect his brains from the zombies during the HOH comp.
Have a Dorky Day!
News of the zombie virus quarantine certainly livened up the feeds last night. After hours of sleeping, yawning, cleaning, and Jenga, we had some excitement at last. It began with zombie/skeletons appearing in the mirrors. Then the feeds would go to fish while BB gave the hgs zombie news headlines. This went on through the night. The hgs worked hard to memorize the clues as they tried to imagine what kind of comp was coming.
I was busy imagining it myself. I think it will be a Zombie Polka Party! And the losers will have penalties that include accordions, roller skates, and the Chicken Dance! But don't pay any attention to me, I think I have already reached stage two of the zombie virus.
Donny slept through the first half of all the zombie excitement. He was really cranky when he finally woke up and joined the fun. Uh oh! I hope he isn't already infected! The guys really wanted to keep Donny in the dark about the clues they had already received. But soon enough Donny was caught up on all the zombie news.
So we had a night of zombies and Jenga. Everyone is busy studying clues and talking trash about Nicole and Donny. Nicole is the biggest liar ever in BB history! Everything she says is a lie! And Donny is an evil, nasty man who is plotting against all of them! He is a vile human being! Their brains are working overtime thinking up mean things to say about these two. Brains that I will gladly serve up on a platter when the zombies arrive for the party.
Even Derrick is making things up about Nicole. When Victoria mentions Nicole's suspicions about a five person guys alliance, Derrick tells her that Nicole has been lying about everything since day one. He told her Nicole must be a pathological liar. The word pathological makes Victoria freak out a little bit more. Pathological? Wow! That's serious!
Feeds should be more of the same today. Right up until the show tonight. I don't expect any surprises during the eviction. And then Nicole will be talking to Julie, while Donnie prepares to fight for his life one more time. I sure hope that Donny finds the helmet I threw over the wall to protect his brains from the zombies during the HOH comp.
Have a Dorky Day!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
St. Lawon To The Rescue!
These house guests are really making me cranky. Derrick especially is making me all grumbly. I'm seriously crumbly. Or maybe I am granky. It's hard to tell when my mind is scrambled by house guests who stay up all night so that I can wake up to this fresh nonsense that's going on in the house this morning. Nicole is pleading for her life but nobody is listening. Well, Zach hears her but is quickly debriefed by Derrick and Cody. Ugh!
8/13 4:40 a.m. cam 3
Truly good game play is pretty much impossible when there is such a large alliance in the house. Doesn't matter how raggedy-ass that alliance is, they stick together for the numbers. This is a situation we don't like because the other side of the house rarely gets a chance to really play in the game.
This years twisty twist of the two HOH and the BOB just makes it worse. It only serves to double the opportunity for the alliance to muck things up. On top of all that we have the Team America twist. The chance for every hg to play to their full potential goes down the drain.
Which makes it all the more ironic that it's Derrick's great game play that is pissing me off. Derrick has to protect himself, the Bomb Squad, The Detonators, the Hit Men, Team America, and Victoria, who is his goat for the F2. And he is doing it!! Plus, he's doing it so skillfully he is locking down jury votes right and left!!!
I should be thrilled to pieces with Derrick right now. He is playing an amazing game. Working day and night to cover every detail. He has successfully maneuvered so many of his own twists that I have lost count. Even when an alliance plan goes horribly wrong, Derrick just moves right on to his plan B. He doesn't even skip a beat. He just goes to work and gets things done.
But when I see Donny and Nicole spend an hour going over every scenario they can imagine and deciding they are doomed, I get all granky. Here we have two players with good game potential and they are being sacrificed to protect a screwball alliance. And in that alliance we have Frankie. And we all know by now that Frankie is production's pet project. Even Derrick knows that. And yet he does the dirty work that must be done to keep Frankie safe.
It really makes me crumbly when the BB twists make me hate the best player in the house. Derrick's great game is going to ensure that Frankie gets farther in this game than he should. Usually I don't care about production manipulation conspiracy theories. It's Big Brother, interference and manipulation are written into the contracts the cast signs before they enter the house. Why get all upset over a basic ingredient of the game?
But my philosophy only applies to the live feeders. I want the players to rebel against any and all production interference, real or imagined. I want them crazy with outrage and out for revenge. I want hunger strikes and mass rebellion! I demand they fight the good fight even though it's a lost cause. I want Allison Grodner to get a little granky herself because her perfect plans might be torn asunder! I demand a BB revolution!
Last season's shenanigans with Elissa and the MVP pushed us all over the edge. Who could have imagined that any production favorite could top Elissa for reeking of entitlement? Elissa used the Brenchel Army's voting power as a threat in an effort to manipulate the game. That was disgusting enough. Frankie is using his sisters fan base as a choke hold on his fellow house guests. He has even made threats about how it will affect them outside the house if they step out of line. His line. That he drew. With the stick he borrowed from production. Ugh!
It's one thing to not want Rachel Reilly on your case inside, or outside, the big brother house. It's totally different to live in fear of a mythical mega-superstar-media-beast like Frankie's sister coming after you with a horde of twitter fans riding Segways provided by Justin Bieber.
And that's why I am all cranky and grumbly about Derrick this morning. He seems to have decided to work with production rather than against them. Nothing Nicole can say, no matter how well thought out and potentially good for his game it might be, can sway him. She must be sacrificed because Frankie must be protected at all costs. He makes it seem like its a good alliance move, but I suspect that Team America and Frankie's value to production are his real concern. I think he will try to keep Frankie as long as he possibly can so that he can keep on the good side of production. And that means some potentially good players will be sent packing.
Yes, Nicole is a whining crybaby much of the time. And Donny might appear to be a lazy country boy that is blowing in the wind. But they are smart and could kick some BB butt if they had half a chance.. Well, I guess they had half a chance when they were HOH together. But between the giant hulk of an alliance, Team America, and the Frankie Grande show, it was a half-ass half a chance. Add Derrick in the mix, working his crew 24/7, and there is no hope for anyone else.
Remember the good old days, when this dorky blog was filled with laughter and good times? Alas, today I am cranky to the max. I can only hope that all of my fears and worries are for naught. Maybe Derrick will come to his senses. Maybe unicorns are real.
While these silly-heads sleep all the livelong day, I will be praying to St. Lawon of The Magical Delusions, for a secret power to be unleashed upon the house that will cause Frankie to be spirited away by teenage mutant ninja superfans. Amen!
Have a Dorky Day!
8/13 4:40 a.m. cam 3
Truly good game play is pretty much impossible when there is such a large alliance in the house. Doesn't matter how raggedy-ass that alliance is, they stick together for the numbers. This is a situation we don't like because the other side of the house rarely gets a chance to really play in the game.
This years twisty twist of the two HOH and the BOB just makes it worse. It only serves to double the opportunity for the alliance to muck things up. On top of all that we have the Team America twist. The chance for every hg to play to their full potential goes down the drain.
Which makes it all the more ironic that it's Derrick's great game play that is pissing me off. Derrick has to protect himself, the Bomb Squad, The Detonators, the Hit Men, Team America, and Victoria, who is his goat for the F2. And he is doing it!! Plus, he's doing it so skillfully he is locking down jury votes right and left!!!
I should be thrilled to pieces with Derrick right now. He is playing an amazing game. Working day and night to cover every detail. He has successfully maneuvered so many of his own twists that I have lost count. Even when an alliance plan goes horribly wrong, Derrick just moves right on to his plan B. He doesn't even skip a beat. He just goes to work and gets things done.
But when I see Donny and Nicole spend an hour going over every scenario they can imagine and deciding they are doomed, I get all granky. Here we have two players with good game potential and they are being sacrificed to protect a screwball alliance. And in that alliance we have Frankie. And we all know by now that Frankie is production's pet project. Even Derrick knows that. And yet he does the dirty work that must be done to keep Frankie safe.
It really makes me crumbly when the BB twists make me hate the best player in the house. Derrick's great game is going to ensure that Frankie gets farther in this game than he should. Usually I don't care about production manipulation conspiracy theories. It's Big Brother, interference and manipulation are written into the contracts the cast signs before they enter the house. Why get all upset over a basic ingredient of the game?
But my philosophy only applies to the live feeders. I want the players to rebel against any and all production interference, real or imagined. I want them crazy with outrage and out for revenge. I want hunger strikes and mass rebellion! I demand they fight the good fight even though it's a lost cause. I want Allison Grodner to get a little granky herself because her perfect plans might be torn asunder! I demand a BB revolution!
Last season's shenanigans with Elissa and the MVP pushed us all over the edge. Who could have imagined that any production favorite could top Elissa for reeking of entitlement? Elissa used the Brenchel Army's voting power as a threat in an effort to manipulate the game. That was disgusting enough. Frankie is using his sisters fan base as a choke hold on his fellow house guests. He has even made threats about how it will affect them outside the house if they step out of line. His line. That he drew. With the stick he borrowed from production. Ugh!
It's one thing to not want Rachel Reilly on your case inside, or outside, the big brother house. It's totally different to live in fear of a mythical mega-superstar-media-beast like Frankie's sister coming after you with a horde of twitter fans riding Segways provided by Justin Bieber.
And that's why I am all cranky and grumbly about Derrick this morning. He seems to have decided to work with production rather than against them. Nothing Nicole can say, no matter how well thought out and potentially good for his game it might be, can sway him. She must be sacrificed because Frankie must be protected at all costs. He makes it seem like its a good alliance move, but I suspect that Team America and Frankie's value to production are his real concern. I think he will try to keep Frankie as long as he possibly can so that he can keep on the good side of production. And that means some potentially good players will be sent packing.
Yes, Nicole is a whining crybaby much of the time. And Donny might appear to be a lazy country boy that is blowing in the wind. But they are smart and could kick some BB butt if they had half a chance.. Well, I guess they had half a chance when they were HOH together. But between the giant hulk of an alliance, Team America, and the Frankie Grande show, it was a half-ass half a chance. Add Derrick in the mix, working his crew 24/7, and there is no hope for anyone else.
Remember the good old days, when this dorky blog was filled with laughter and good times? Alas, today I am cranky to the max. I can only hope that all of my fears and worries are for naught. Maybe Derrick will come to his senses. Maybe unicorns are real.
While these silly-heads sleep all the livelong day, I will be praying to St. Lawon of The Magical Delusions, for a secret power to be unleashed upon the house that will cause Frankie to be spirited away by teenage mutant ninja superfans. Amen!
Have a Dorky Day!
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Will Cody Flirt His Way To The Final Two?
Has there ever been a player on BB whose sole strategy was to flirt and cuddle with the girls all the way to the end? Is Cody breaking new ground here? He has cuddled with every single female in the house. Even Jocasta!
Sometimes it's a little touch here and there, an arm around the shoulder, a hug and a little snuggle. Then there is the full on cuddle-fest that can last for hours. He cuddles with them one, two, three at a time. He climbs right on top of them. Just plops himself down on top of them to snuggle and tickle and get them to play with his hair.
Around week three it became obvious that Cody was every girls favorite for a cuddle partner. He would come out to the back yard, stroll over to the couch, give one girl a full body hug, and lay down on top of her for five minutes while they had a flirty little convo. Then he moves on to another girl, gives her a big hug, and lays down with his head in her lap, so she can play with his hair. A new girl joins the couch crew, sits down next to Cody, and puts her legs over his and starts tickling his arm. This scene is replayed hourly with different combinations of girls. It really is quite impressive how he can do all this cuddling without any smooching or show-mance shenanigans.
It is impossible for him to sit next to a female and not touch her. His hands seem to have a life of their own as they just mosey on over to touch a shoulder, an arm, a hand, a leg, a foot. It doesn't really matter which body part he is touching. If a girl sits down next to him he is going to touch her within minutes.
He loves to have them play with his hair. They seem happy to oblige. Hayden had the girls playing with his hair too. And he flirted and cuddled them as well. But he can't compete with Cody. Cody is a master flirt. A genius cuddle-buddy. Cody has mad snuggle skills!
In fact, he is so good at it, that his alliance sends him out on flirt patrol and cuddle missions. Practically every strategy meeting with his alliance includes somebody telling Cody that he has to flirt with a girl for the plan to be successful. This week his task is to flirt with Christine and keep her away from Frankie.
In past seasons, guys have used flirting to get things done. But each guy would have just one girl he would sweet talk to work the game plan of the week. I don't recall any guys successfully flirting with more than one girl. The flirt strategy holds serious dangers. Jealousy from the girls, and wariness and mistrust from the guys. In the BB house, flirting is dangerous business.
We are down to only three girls left in the house, and the flirty thing might not be the best game to play right now. Christine cannot be near Cody without touching him. The Christine-Cody cuddling has become so constant and obvious it is making the other girls uncomfortable. Nicole and Victoria are very suspicious of how intimate Christine and Cody are with each other.
But they put the blame on Christine, for touching Cody. It's all her fault! She's a married woman!!! Even as they express their mistrust of Cody for kissing-up to the HOH, they blame Christine for being all over Cody. They have a good cry during all this trash talk. Then they pull themselves together and get in line to cuddle with Cody.
But they put the blame on Christine, for touching Cody. It's all her fault! She's a married woman!!! Even as they express their mistrust of Cody for kissing-up to the HOH, they blame Christine for being all over Cody. They have a good cry during all this trash talk. Then they pull themselves together and get in line to cuddle with Cody.
Will Cody simply flirt his way to the final two? How do you explain the flirt strategy in your jury speech? What can he say? "I spent countless hours letting all the girls touch me all over and play with my hair. I let Amber tickle my arm for four hours straight. I was the key player in every big move strategy, because I would have to flirt with a girl to get her to do what we wanted. Sometimes I had to flirt with two or three girls at a time! I flirted with Christine for three whole months, and I deserve to win!"
This speech wouldn't get my jury vote. But it would make great TV.
Have a Dorky Day!
Monday, August 11, 2014
The Night Of The Living Bomb Squad
Just when you think it's deader than dead, the Bomb Squad arises from the grave to wreak havoc on the house once again. The alliance of eight is down to six in it's newly resurrected form. Christine, the current HOH, has been welcomed back into the squad to perform various nefarious deeds.
Last night the guys decided that Nicole was their next target. Actually, she is their fourth target this week. Two of the first three were members of the Bomb Squad, Frankie and Christine. But let's just forget about all that nonsense and work together for a new, and better, final six. And while we're at it, let's blame Nicole for the first two targets!
Christine lounges in her bird nest bed while holding court. Earlier in the evening she had informed Victoria that she would be the replacement nom, and Donny was the target. This was the plan for target number three. Donny was considered the biggest threat in all the land right up until Christine, Frankie, and Caleb returned from their football field trip.
It turns out that Frankie was a little cranky during the football luxury. He didn't like all the rules production had for a visit to the outside world. He demanded coffee and all kinds of things a diva needs when traveling incognito to a VIP venue. He complained all day about how much he hated everyone in the house. He was so glad to get away from them! Kiss-kiss! Love you!!!
And he seems extra cranky that Caleb got shout outs from the crowd and he didn't! Frankie is the famous mogul-o-maniac! He is the one with a superstar sister! Enough with the BeastMode Cowboy fans, where are his legions of followers?
Caleb and Frankie were supposed to work on Christine about noms while they were off having fun. Feeling her out about Nichole and Victoria as replacement noms. Gently guiding her to one of the girls to ensure that none of the guys go up. But they returned from the trip with the news that they were not allowed to talk game at all. This sounds mighty suspicious, but even Caleb says it's true, so the guys are believing it for now.
Frankie is tired, and just wants to nap in the HOH room. The one he claimed after he won the BOB all by himself. But the no game talk rule today means that Frankie can't just go right to sleep now that he's back in the BB house. He has work to do. This makes him a wee bit more grumpy.
Franky puts his cranky pants on and corners Nicole in the hive room. He still has his tits in an uproar after hearing that Nicole repeated something he said about Victoria. Something that he denies ever saying. Something that he considers vile, and horrible, and vicious, even though he actually did say it.
He told Christine that he would have Victoria in his pocket after he reels her in with his sister. Christine told Nicole, and Nicole told Victoria. Caleb heard her and told Frankie. And Frankie has spun this into a plot to get Nicole out of the house on the grounds of being pure evil.
Nicole does not want to be alone in a room with Frankie. Frankie expects to shame her, blame her, and then make nice and get her on his side. But Nicole is not having this. She gets out of that room as fast as she can. Frankie is taken by surprise by her quick escape. That talk sure didn't go according to plan. While we are all rooting for Nicole after she stands up to Frankie, we are certain sure that this has sealed her fate as the replacement nom.
Derrick has been working his crew to set the plan in motion to get Nicole nommed. Frankie is now fully committed to this plan. Hours ago he announced that he should stay out of it, and let Caleb and Zach do all the work. But, after his brainwashing session with Nicole went kablooey, he races upstairs to set Christine up for the unveiling of the new target.
An hour later the mission to evict Nicole is official. All systems go. The Bomb Squad is reborn! Let's not talk about how they cannibalized their own by evicting Devon and Amber. Don't focus on the fact that they have all targeted each other numerous times in the last few weeks, not to mention the past 72 hours. We won't dwell on how many times the squad, and it's many sub-alliances, have been outed to the entire house.
The zombie remnants of the Bomb Squad breathes in the pink light of forgetfulness. When their minds wander, and they have bad thoughts about Frankie having already won America's Favorite Player, they focus on their happy place. They release all negative energy about those damn schools in Africa.
They avert their eyes when Christine goes to sleep in the rock room, leaving Frankie to sleep in the HOH in solitary luxury. They all drift of to bed, to dream the dreams of the living dead. They are the now officially the Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history!
Have a Dorky Day!
Last night the guys decided that Nicole was their next target. Actually, she is their fourth target this week. Two of the first three were members of the Bomb Squad, Frankie and Christine. But let's just forget about all that nonsense and work together for a new, and better, final six. And while we're at it, let's blame Nicole for the first two targets!
Christine lounges in her bird nest bed while holding court. Earlier in the evening she had informed Victoria that she would be the replacement nom, and Donny was the target. This was the plan for target number three. Donny was considered the biggest threat in all the land right up until Christine, Frankie, and Caleb returned from their football field trip.
It turns out that Frankie was a little cranky during the football luxury. He didn't like all the rules production had for a visit to the outside world. He demanded coffee and all kinds of things a diva needs when traveling incognito to a VIP venue. He complained all day about how much he hated everyone in the house. He was so glad to get away from them! Kiss-kiss! Love you!!!
And he seems extra cranky that Caleb got shout outs from the crowd and he didn't! Frankie is the famous mogul-o-maniac! He is the one with a superstar sister! Enough with the BeastMode Cowboy fans, where are his legions of followers?
Caleb and Frankie were supposed to work on Christine about noms while they were off having fun. Feeling her out about Nichole and Victoria as replacement noms. Gently guiding her to one of the girls to ensure that none of the guys go up. But they returned from the trip with the news that they were not allowed to talk game at all. This sounds mighty suspicious, but even Caleb says it's true, so the guys are believing it for now.
Frankie is tired, and just wants to nap in the HOH room. The one he claimed after he won the BOB all by himself. But the no game talk rule today means that Frankie can't just go right to sleep now that he's back in the BB house. He has work to do. This makes him a wee bit more grumpy.
Franky puts his cranky pants on and corners Nicole in the hive room. He still has his tits in an uproar after hearing that Nicole repeated something he said about Victoria. Something that he denies ever saying. Something that he considers vile, and horrible, and vicious, even though he actually did say it.
He told Christine that he would have Victoria in his pocket after he reels her in with his sister. Christine told Nicole, and Nicole told Victoria. Caleb heard her and told Frankie. And Frankie has spun this into a plot to get Nicole out of the house on the grounds of being pure evil.
Nicole does not want to be alone in a room with Frankie. Frankie expects to shame her, blame her, and then make nice and get her on his side. But Nicole is not having this. She gets out of that room as fast as she can. Frankie is taken by surprise by her quick escape. That talk sure didn't go according to plan. While we are all rooting for Nicole after she stands up to Frankie, we are certain sure that this has sealed her fate as the replacement nom.
Derrick has been working his crew to set the plan in motion to get Nicole nommed. Frankie is now fully committed to this plan. Hours ago he announced that he should stay out of it, and let Caleb and Zach do all the work. But, after his brainwashing session with Nicole went kablooey, he races upstairs to set Christine up for the unveiling of the new target.
An hour later the mission to evict Nicole is official. All systems go. The Bomb Squad is reborn! Let's not talk about how they cannibalized their own by evicting Devon and Amber. Don't focus on the fact that they have all targeted each other numerous times in the last few weeks, not to mention the past 72 hours. We won't dwell on how many times the squad, and it's many sub-alliances, have been outed to the entire house.
The zombie remnants of the Bomb Squad breathes in the pink light of forgetfulness. When their minds wander, and they have bad thoughts about Frankie having already won America's Favorite Player, they focus on their happy place. They release all negative energy about those damn schools in Africa.
They avert their eyes when Christine goes to sleep in the rock room, leaving Frankie to sleep in the HOH in solitary luxury. They all drift of to bed, to dream the dreams of the living dead. They are the now officially the Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history!
Have a Dorky Day!
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Drama For Dummies
Zach wins the veto and now he is safe for the week. Safe equals boring to Zach, so he decides that now is a good time to confess all his sins to Victoria. The only detail of his confession that seems to matter to Victoria is that Derrick was working with some other people besides her.
Then the tears begin. Victoria is always crying to someone about something. And while she is crying she keeps repeating that she doesn't want to start any drama. But people are horrible, she is disgusted, everyone is so mean! She wants to self evict!!! But seriously, she doesn't want to cause any drama.
Last night, the drama she doesn't want to cause is all about Derrick. He betrayed her! It feels like he cheated on her! She doesn't want to be here anymore. She needs to talk to Zach one more time, so that she can be upset all over again. Maybe if she cries to him about her broken heart, she can be sure there won't be any drama! And maybe Derrick will find out how much she wants to avoid drama, and he will come talk to her!
Well, what could be more dramatic than a house meeting? Everyone but Christine and Donny gather in the HOH room to confront Zach about a little lie he told earlier. Zach freely admits that he lied to Derrick about Nicole being the cause of Victoria's current melt down. He told a little lie. And he told her all about everyone's alliances. But he never meant any harm. He really didn't mean to throw Derrick under the bus. Really, he was just telling Victoria about his game. What is all the drama about?
The house meeting fizzles out, and the guys are left to do some damage control. They concoct some crazy plan for Zach to say he made up all the alliances he revealed in his confession. Another perfect, no fail, plan by the best worst alliance in all of BB. Seriously, these guys spend hours together talking game and think that nobody will ever suspect them of working together. Their alliances have been outed how many times?
Meanwhile, Frankie starts a little drama of his own. Frankie learns that Nicole told people that he said he will have Victoria in his back pocket after he reels her in with his famous sister. Frankie did say this. But he acts like this is a direct insult to his sister. He says that there is an army of Ariana fans who will take care of Nicole. He is very upset about this, and works himself into a mini hissy fit. Nicole is now his number one target.
Derrick snaps to attention and assures Frankie that he doesn't even speak his sisters name in the diary room. It's so damn weird. Are there rules about famous people I don't know about? Are we not allowed to talk about them? Isn't the whole point of being famous having people talk about you?
Frankie says he doesn't want to start any drama. He sighs, and pouts, and looks like he is gonna cry. Derrick tells him nobody is gonna talk trash about his sister. Frankie says they better not! He does his best to look completely pitiful. He tells Derrick he is okay, he doesn't want any drama. Then he heads to the diary room to place an emergency call to the Famous Police, to press charges against Nicole.
Have a Dorky Day!!
Then the tears begin. Victoria is always crying to someone about something. And while she is crying she keeps repeating that she doesn't want to start any drama. But people are horrible, she is disgusted, everyone is so mean! She wants to self evict!!! But seriously, she doesn't want to cause any drama.
Last night, the drama she doesn't want to cause is all about Derrick. He betrayed her! It feels like he cheated on her! She doesn't want to be here anymore. She needs to talk to Zach one more time, so that she can be upset all over again. Maybe if she cries to him about her broken heart, she can be sure there won't be any drama! And maybe Derrick will find out how much she wants to avoid drama, and he will come talk to her!
Well, what could be more dramatic than a house meeting? Everyone but Christine and Donny gather in the HOH room to confront Zach about a little lie he told earlier. Zach freely admits that he lied to Derrick about Nicole being the cause of Victoria's current melt down. He told a little lie. And he told her all about everyone's alliances. But he never meant any harm. He really didn't mean to throw Derrick under the bus. Really, he was just telling Victoria about his game. What is all the drama about?
The house meeting fizzles out, and the guys are left to do some damage control. They concoct some crazy plan for Zach to say he made up all the alliances he revealed in his confession. Another perfect, no fail, plan by the best worst alliance in all of BB. Seriously, these guys spend hours together talking game and think that nobody will ever suspect them of working together. Their alliances have been outed how many times?
Meanwhile, Frankie starts a little drama of his own. Frankie learns that Nicole told people that he said he will have Victoria in his back pocket after he reels her in with his famous sister. Frankie did say this. But he acts like this is a direct insult to his sister. He says that there is an army of Ariana fans who will take care of Nicole. He is very upset about this, and works himself into a mini hissy fit. Nicole is now his number one target.
Derrick snaps to attention and assures Frankie that he doesn't even speak his sisters name in the diary room. It's so damn weird. Are there rules about famous people I don't know about? Are we not allowed to talk about them? Isn't the whole point of being famous having people talk about you?
Frankie says he doesn't want to start any drama. He sighs, and pouts, and looks like he is gonna cry. Derrick tells him nobody is gonna talk trash about his sister. Frankie says they better not! He does his best to look completely pitiful. He tells Derrick he is okay, he doesn't want any drama. Then he heads to the diary room to place an emergency call to the Famous Police, to press charges against Nicole.
Have a Dorky Day!!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
My Name Is Frankie Grande And I Am A Mogulomaniac
The plan was in place to get Frankie on the block. Caleb would throw the Battle of The Block, he and Frankie would lose to Donny and Zach, and it's a done deal. A perfect plan, unless one or one hundred things go wrong! The feeds go down, and the battle begins.
Hours later, when the feeds return, we discover that Frankie won the Battle of the Block, all by his lonesome!. Plus, he won a field trip to a football game for himself, Caleb, and Christine! And he won a slop pass! Things quickly spiral out of control from there. Another night of crazy good feeds.
The kind of feeds that make you want to smash your computer to smithereens every time Frankie opens his mouth. Because when Frankie speaks, the feeling of disgust and outrage at his words makes you cringe. You want to look away, but you can't. Ugh.
Frankie had informed everyone in the house that he would be talking to them later about... um...things. He dropped cryptic hints all day about this. After the comp he would tell them...umm..things..um...good things....about...ummm...stuff...about why he is there.....and things!
And tell he did! But first, after he tries unsuccessfully to get Zach to talk with him, he annouces that he may have to get production to lock Zach in a room by himself if he isn't going to behave. He doesn't want Zach to ruin his talk with everyone.. He actually says this. Then, as he gathers the guys together to move into the fire room, a sulking but quiet Zach included, he says this:
"Producers! We are moving into the fire room!"
When they all get settled into he room he says this:
"Are the cameras in place?"
And with those words, it is obvious to all of us feed watchers around the world, that this is the beginning of yet another segment of The Frankie Show, sponsored by BB production. What follows is one of the most disgusting confessionals in BB history. He tells Caleb, Derrick, Cody, and Zach that he has been lying to them the entire game. He wants to tell them who he really is. And then he says this:
" I am social media mogul, a YouTube star with a gazillion followers, and my sister is a mega-super pop star, and I am here to donate my winnings to charity, my charity that I founded, to build schools in Africa"
And things go downhill from there. Down the hill we go in a big, slimy, egotistical mudslide designed to wash away all of Frankie's sins. Thus begins a night of shock and awe that throws the house guests into pandemonium. Complete with Frankie sending us to fish every fifteen minutes as he burst into song. An Ariana Grande song to be precise. He also warns the hgs that he can say Ariana's name, but they are not allowed. WTF??
To insure the sympathy votes were secure, he threw his grandfathers death into the mix as the reason he betrayed Zach and the alliance! If I was a real live BB update blogger, I would have to transcribe all of the ridiculously arrogant words he uttered last night. Thank gawd I am just a dorky little blogger with no such responsibility. I leave that to the professionals. And may gawd bless and protect those poor souls who had to listen, and re-listen, to his sniveling drivel to get the words right. Please pray for them. Amen.
I am still stuck on his first words about being an internet mogul. Who says that? I consult my resident expert on all things pertaining to the English language. I ask her if anyone would ever refer to themselves as a mogul.? Is that the proper use of the word? She says no. It's a word that someone might use to describe you, but you would never use it to describe yourself. Unless you were maybe Donald Trump. HA!
So we had a long night of star struck hgs pretending not to care a damn about who Frankie and his sister are. Caleb couldn't hide his starry eyes as he tells Frankie that in the game he doesn't care who Frankie is, but after the show can Frankie hook him up?
Frankie responds by scheduling a limo to take everyone to Justin Bieber's house. I don't know if that will happen before everyone gets to sing on his sister's next double-triple-platinum-single, or after they all attend the My-Sister-Is-One-Level-Above-Beyonce Award Show. And somewhere in the Frankie Tour schedule, he simply must pencil in his next YouTube video, which of course they will all be starring in. Seriously, I am pretty sure all this is in the works!
It's a monkey-barrel of emotions in the BB house by now. Nicole is crying her eyes out because she is the one who nommed Frankie. She now believes she will be seen as a villain. She is completely freaking out about this. Remember her fake fight with Hayden, and how she broke down and said she couldn't do it because viewers would think she was mean? Nicole worries about how she is perceived, and all this famous Frankie business just makes her want to curl up and cry.
Vicroria has a little cry-fest of her own involving her mysterious hair loss, Frankie, and his sister. It turns out that Ariana lost her hair tooooooooo!! And when Victoria had a meltdown about her extensions being revealed on BB, Frankie comforted her, and mentioned his sister had the same thing happen to her hair. But he didn't say his sister was FAMOUS! He didn't tell her she was ARIANA GRANDE! And for some crazy reason, this breaks Victoria's heart.
While Victoria and Nicole are busy giving each other pep-talks, the guys are plotting.the next best move of the worst ever BB alliance. They never give up. Derrick is working overtime now. He has to get these guys motivated. Zach has been in a stupor since Frankie revealed his super-hero powers. He keeps saying "He's building schools in Africa dude, I'm fooked!"
Frankie announces that he will be sleeping in the HOH room so that everybody can have their own bed tonight. Once again he is doing things for the good of all. Such sacrifices he makes!
I just can't take it any more!! I finally turn off the feeds around 1:00 a.m. BB time. I am already dreading the next few CBS shows. Frankie has ruined them with his confessional. And now the feeds will be filled with Frankie name dropping, and singing, and all kinds of Frankie show business talk. Ugh, and double ugh!!
As I reach to click the feeds off I catch this little tidbit. Frankie walks through the dining area with his bag packed for his move to the HOH room. He is on his way to take a bubble bath and relax in HOH luxury.
Christine and Cody are talking, and doing their flirty thing, and Frankie stops to chat and recap his day:
"Wow! Were noms just this morning?? Today I was nommed, I was shunned all day, I kicked ass in the competition and won it all by myself, and I won a field trip to a football game. And now I am the most popular girl in the house!!!"
It's a crazy world, this BB world! And tonight, on the feeds, Frankie gave us a guided tour of it's dark underbelly. I know we have long days ahead filled with conspiracy theories of production manipulating things for Frankie's benefit. I have my own theory that most of tonight's festivities were a direct result of Frankie manipulating production. But hey, that's show business! ((curls up in fetal position and remains catatonic for the rest of the season))
Have a Dorky Day!
Hours later, when the feeds return, we discover that Frankie won the Battle of the Block, all by his lonesome!. Plus, he won a field trip to a football game for himself, Caleb, and Christine! And he won a slop pass! Things quickly spiral out of control from there. Another night of crazy good feeds.
The kind of feeds that make you want to smash your computer to smithereens every time Frankie opens his mouth. Because when Frankie speaks, the feeling of disgust and outrage at his words makes you cringe. You want to look away, but you can't. Ugh.
Frankie had informed everyone in the house that he would be talking to them later about... um...things. He dropped cryptic hints all day about this. After the comp he would tell them...umm..things..um...good things....about...ummm...stuff...about why he is there.....and things!
And tell he did! But first, after he tries unsuccessfully to get Zach to talk with him, he annouces that he may have to get production to lock Zach in a room by himself if he isn't going to behave. He doesn't want Zach to ruin his talk with everyone.. He actually says this. Then, as he gathers the guys together to move into the fire room, a sulking but quiet Zach included, he says this:
"Producers! We are moving into the fire room!"
When they all get settled into he room he says this:
"Are the cameras in place?"
And with those words, it is obvious to all of us feed watchers around the world, that this is the beginning of yet another segment of The Frankie Show, sponsored by BB production. What follows is one of the most disgusting confessionals in BB history. He tells Caleb, Derrick, Cody, and Zach that he has been lying to them the entire game. He wants to tell them who he really is. And then he says this:
" I am social media mogul, a YouTube star with a gazillion followers, and my sister is a mega-super pop star, and I am here to donate my winnings to charity, my charity that I founded, to build schools in Africa"
And things go downhill from there. Down the hill we go in a big, slimy, egotistical mudslide designed to wash away all of Frankie's sins. Thus begins a night of shock and awe that throws the house guests into pandemonium. Complete with Frankie sending us to fish every fifteen minutes as he burst into song. An Ariana Grande song to be precise. He also warns the hgs that he can say Ariana's name, but they are not allowed. WTF??
To insure the sympathy votes were secure, he threw his grandfathers death into the mix as the reason he betrayed Zach and the alliance! If I was a real live BB update blogger, I would have to transcribe all of the ridiculously arrogant words he uttered last night. Thank gawd I am just a dorky little blogger with no such responsibility. I leave that to the professionals. And may gawd bless and protect those poor souls who had to listen, and re-listen, to his sniveling drivel to get the words right. Please pray for them. Amen.
I am still stuck on his first words about being an internet mogul. Who says that? I consult my resident expert on all things pertaining to the English language. I ask her if anyone would ever refer to themselves as a mogul.? Is that the proper use of the word? She says no. It's a word that someone might use to describe you, but you would never use it to describe yourself. Unless you were maybe Donald Trump. HA!
So we had a long night of star struck hgs pretending not to care a damn about who Frankie and his sister are. Caleb couldn't hide his starry eyes as he tells Frankie that in the game he doesn't care who Frankie is, but after the show can Frankie hook him up?
Frankie responds by scheduling a limo to take everyone to Justin Bieber's house. I don't know if that will happen before everyone gets to sing on his sister's next double-triple-platinum-single, or after they all attend the My-Sister-Is-One-Level-Above-Beyonce Award Show. And somewhere in the Frankie Tour schedule, he simply must pencil in his next YouTube video, which of course they will all be starring in. Seriously, I am pretty sure all this is in the works!
It's a monkey-barrel of emotions in the BB house by now. Nicole is crying her eyes out because she is the one who nommed Frankie. She now believes she will be seen as a villain. She is completely freaking out about this. Remember her fake fight with Hayden, and how she broke down and said she couldn't do it because viewers would think she was mean? Nicole worries about how she is perceived, and all this famous Frankie business just makes her want to curl up and cry.
Vicroria has a little cry-fest of her own involving her mysterious hair loss, Frankie, and his sister. It turns out that Ariana lost her hair tooooooooo!! And when Victoria had a meltdown about her extensions being revealed on BB, Frankie comforted her, and mentioned his sister had the same thing happen to her hair. But he didn't say his sister was FAMOUS! He didn't tell her she was ARIANA GRANDE! And for some crazy reason, this breaks Victoria's heart.
While Victoria and Nicole are busy giving each other pep-talks, the guys are plotting.the next best move of the worst ever BB alliance. They never give up. Derrick is working overtime now. He has to get these guys motivated. Zach has been in a stupor since Frankie revealed his super-hero powers. He keeps saying "He's building schools in Africa dude, I'm fooked!"
Frankie announces that he will be sleeping in the HOH room so that everybody can have their own bed tonight. Once again he is doing things for the good of all. Such sacrifices he makes!
I just can't take it any more!! I finally turn off the feeds around 1:00 a.m. BB time. I am already dreading the next few CBS shows. Frankie has ruined them with his confessional. And now the feeds will be filled with Frankie name dropping, and singing, and all kinds of Frankie show business talk. Ugh, and double ugh!!
As I reach to click the feeds off I catch this little tidbit. Frankie walks through the dining area with his bag packed for his move to the HOH room. He is on his way to take a bubble bath and relax in HOH luxury.
Christine and Cody are talking, and doing their flirty thing, and Frankie stops to chat and recap his day:
"Wow! Were noms just this morning?? Today I was nommed, I was shunned all day, I kicked ass in the competition and won it all by myself, and I won a field trip to a football game. And now I am the most popular girl in the house!!!"
It's a crazy world, this BB world! And tonight, on the feeds, Frankie gave us a guided tour of it's dark underbelly. I know we have long days ahead filled with conspiracy theories of production manipulating things for Frankie's benefit. I have my own theory that most of tonight's festivities were a direct result of Frankie manipulating production. But hey, that's show business! ((curls up in fetal position and remains catatonic for the rest of the season))
Have a Dorky Day!
Friday, August 8, 2014
Double Whammy Aftermath
When the feeds come back on after an amazing double whammy, double blindside, double eviction show, we are treated to all sorts of good fun! Nicole is in the kitchen calling out Frankie and Christine, and telling everyone how things went down this week. She embraces her inner feisty-quirky-froot-loop-dingus, and she is ready to rumble! And then... she cries.
Christine swoops in and whisks Nicole into the hive room to comfort her. To Christine, comfort includes lies, manipulation, and profuse claims of innocence in all the nefarious schemes that have transpired. It begins to look like Nicole is believing Christine's lies. Nicole says she believes her, but maybe she is lying about that. And this sets the theme for the night. It's impossible to know who is lying to who about what.
Meanwhile, there is a brief interlude of summer camp fun when the guys sit Zach down to explain that even though he's been a bad boy, they still love him. It's a chorus of he said-she said-you said, and then straight into a campfire rendition of Kumbaya. Guy hugs all around.
Frankie leaves the room, and we discover that summer camp is over! Derrick, Cody, and Caleb are certain that Frankie and Christine are actually guilty of all the things Nicole and Hayden have accused them of. They convince Zach that Frankie and Christine were the true masterminds behind his near demise. Once again, it's hard to tell if Zach is really buying it. Can we please exchange those fitness trackers for mood rings?
Fishes come, and fishes go, and we discover the two new HOH winners are Nicole and Christine. Awkward!! Frankie interrupts their nomination discussion to announce that he is done playing BB with those dumb boys! He wants to play with the girls now! Let's play HOH!
Here we go again. Is Nicole drinking Frankie's Kool-Aid? It seems like she is. But this is Big Brother, and Frankie isn't the only Kool-Aid stand in town! While Nicole is busy with Frankie and Christine, the guys are mixing up a batch of their own Kool-Aid. The idea is to get Nicole, who they just bamboozled up the wazoo, to trust them again. They will work with her to get Frankie out. They need a double strength batch of Kool-Aid for this plan to work.
Derrick slips some Team-America-fook-up-the-game-tablets into his pitcher of Kool-Aid and asks the guys to try some. Team America's task this week is to get someone to volunteer to be a pawn, and then vote them out. Zach takes a big gulp of Derrick's poison potion and volunteers himself!
Zach decides he needs to set up a rogue Kool-Aid stand of his own. He confesses everything to Nicole and secures what sounds pretty much like a final two deal with her. Are they both drunk on day glow Kool-Aid cocktails by now, or are they speaking the truth? I have absolutely no idea.
A little while later, Nicole tells the guys she just doesn't trust Zach enough to throw the BOB if she noms him with Frankie. Caleb, who has his own personal brand of Kool-Aid coursing through his veins, volunteers to be a pawn and throw the BOB. He swears he will sit on his hands and throw that comp, beast-mode style!
By now Nicole, feeling a bit bloated by all the sugary sweet Kool-Aid she has been force fed through the night, decides it's time for bed. Derrick expresses doubts about the Team America task. Caleb, certain that he is America's Favorite Player, sends a memo to BB to secure a limo and security guards to protect him from his fans on finale night. Zach climbs on the furniture, and replays the moment during the live show when Julie called him RanceyPants. And Victoria is thinking she is now a key player in this thing called Big Brother, since the guys had a zillion game convos right in front of her, because they forgot she was even in the room!
And there we were, basking in the afterglow of a great night of feeds, with absolutely no idea who is lying and who is truthing. I think Nicole will work with the guys to get Frankie out. I'm pretty sure Team America will decline the new task. I am fairly certain that the Have Nots were selected and I completely missed it. And I am absolutely, positively, going to start a petition demanding mood rings for season 17.
Have a Dorky Day!
Christine swoops in and whisks Nicole into the hive room to comfort her. To Christine, comfort includes lies, manipulation, and profuse claims of innocence in all the nefarious schemes that have transpired. It begins to look like Nicole is believing Christine's lies. Nicole says she believes her, but maybe she is lying about that. And this sets the theme for the night. It's impossible to know who is lying to who about what.
Meanwhile, there is a brief interlude of summer camp fun when the guys sit Zach down to explain that even though he's been a bad boy, they still love him. It's a chorus of he said-she said-you said, and then straight into a campfire rendition of Kumbaya. Guy hugs all around.
Frankie leaves the room, and we discover that summer camp is over! Derrick, Cody, and Caleb are certain that Frankie and Christine are actually guilty of all the things Nicole and Hayden have accused them of. They convince Zach that Frankie and Christine were the true masterminds behind his near demise. Once again, it's hard to tell if Zach is really buying it. Can we please exchange those fitness trackers for mood rings?
Fishes come, and fishes go, and we discover the two new HOH winners are Nicole and Christine. Awkward!! Frankie interrupts their nomination discussion to announce that he is done playing BB with those dumb boys! He wants to play with the girls now! Let's play HOH!
Here we go again. Is Nicole drinking Frankie's Kool-Aid? It seems like she is. But this is Big Brother, and Frankie isn't the only Kool-Aid stand in town! While Nicole is busy with Frankie and Christine, the guys are mixing up a batch of their own Kool-Aid. The idea is to get Nicole, who they just bamboozled up the wazoo, to trust them again. They will work with her to get Frankie out. They need a double strength batch of Kool-Aid for this plan to work.
Derrick slips some Team-America-fook-up-the-game-tablets into his pitcher of Kool-Aid and asks the guys to try some. Team America's task this week is to get someone to volunteer to be a pawn, and then vote them out. Zach takes a big gulp of Derrick's poison potion and volunteers himself!
Zach decides he needs to set up a rogue Kool-Aid stand of his own. He confesses everything to Nicole and secures what sounds pretty much like a final two deal with her. Are they both drunk on day glow Kool-Aid cocktails by now, or are they speaking the truth? I have absolutely no idea.
A little while later, Nicole tells the guys she just doesn't trust Zach enough to throw the BOB if she noms him with Frankie. Caleb, who has his own personal brand of Kool-Aid coursing through his veins, volunteers to be a pawn and throw the BOB. He swears he will sit on his hands and throw that comp, beast-mode style!
By now Nicole, feeling a bit bloated by all the sugary sweet Kool-Aid she has been force fed through the night, decides it's time for bed. Derrick expresses doubts about the Team America task. Caleb, certain that he is America's Favorite Player, sends a memo to BB to secure a limo and security guards to protect him from his fans on finale night. Zach climbs on the furniture, and replays the moment during the live show when Julie called him RanceyPants. And Victoria is thinking she is now a key player in this thing called Big Brother, since the guys had a zillion game convos right in front of her, because they forgot she was even in the room!
And there we were, basking in the afterglow of a great night of feeds, with absolutely no idea who is lying and who is truthing. I think Nicole will work with the guys to get Frankie out. I'm pretty sure Team America will decline the new task. I am fairly certain that the Have Nots were selected and I completely missed it. And I am absolutely, positively, going to start a petition demanding mood rings for season 17.
Have a Dorky Day!
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Caleb Counts On His Fingers And Saves The World!!!
Was it production whispering sweet paranoia in the diary room? Was it the beers Caleb drank at the halfway party? Was it just one more flip-flop in a house of flip-floppers? Who cares?!? It was crazy good feeds last night for sure! If you missed the fun, it all starts in the hive room with Frankie and Caleb. You can tell it's serious, because Caleb has changed out of those damn bunny slippers and into his cowboy boots. Those boots mean business!
8/6 9:01 p.m. cam 1&2
The fun continues from there. It's exactly what I was hoping would happen when the feeds went down for so long last night. I was imagining that it would take all kinds of elaborate things to save Zach, like Pandora's Box, Diamond Power of Veto, or maybe a Coup de Dingus! One magical intervention involved the ants spelling out SAVE ZACH on the walls of the BB house. Those ants are smart, it could happen!!
But all it took was a few beers, and Caleb counting on his fingers, wondering WWJD? What Would Jocasta Do? She would come after all of them! She would never be a number for them! He flipped the house pretty damn quick. Derrick and Cody helped it along, and Frankie gave it his blessing. Christine just clapped her hands a lot and said "Wow, Amazing!". She is one shady fook!
Now the Detonators are convinced that Nicole, Donny, and Hayden are Big Brother masterminds. Derrick and Cody are certain that Nicole and Hayden were playing them about Frankie and Christine turning on them. Christine and Frankie are sitting pretty, because they really were ready to turn on Derrick and Cody.
And Zach was sleeping through most of it! He woke up at some point and talked to Nicole, but seemed more concerned about his eviction night poem than he was about votes. He has no idea how close he came to leaving. He was sleeping the other night when they all decided to vote him out, and then he slept though them saving his ass last night.What a froot-loop!!
Have A Dorky Day!
8/6 9:01 p.m. cam 1&2
The fun continues from there. It's exactly what I was hoping would happen when the feeds went down for so long last night. I was imagining that it would take all kinds of elaborate things to save Zach, like Pandora's Box, Diamond Power of Veto, or maybe a Coup de Dingus! One magical intervention involved the ants spelling out SAVE ZACH on the walls of the BB house. Those ants are smart, it could happen!!
But all it took was a few beers, and Caleb counting on his fingers, wondering WWJD? What Would Jocasta Do? She would come after all of them! She would never be a number for them! He flipped the house pretty damn quick. Derrick and Cody helped it along, and Frankie gave it his blessing. Christine just clapped her hands a lot and said "Wow, Amazing!". She is one shady fook!
Now the Detonators are convinced that Nicole, Donny, and Hayden are Big Brother masterminds. Derrick and Cody are certain that Nicole and Hayden were playing them about Frankie and Christine turning on them. Christine and Frankie are sitting pretty, because they really were ready to turn on Derrick and Cody.
And Zach was sleeping through most of it! He woke up at some point and talked to Nicole, but seemed more concerned about his eviction night poem than he was about votes. He has no idea how close he came to leaving. He was sleeping the other night when they all decided to vote him out, and then he slept though them saving his ass last night.What a froot-loop!!
Have A Dorky Day!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Hayden Saves The Day!!
We have arrived at that point in the season where the live feeds become a regular snooze fest. Things become predictable. We get cranky and start thinking this is the worst cast ever, the worst season in BB history. We threaten to stop watching. We complain for hours and hours. All of this complaining is done..um..while we continue to watch the boring the feeds.
Three weeks ago the house guests were playing so hard we couldn't catch our breath. Now we are yawning, and all fidgety for some action. We love great players, but hate it when the game gets locked up and predictable. Players who talk about big moves, but won't make them, really tick us off. We want big moves, bloody hands, and a house turned upside down!
After Christine smashed our dreams of a Frankie backdoor plan by not using the veto, there is diddley-poop happening on the feeds.
Let's review:
If you want to peek, go right ahead, go directly to the archives. After you have yourself a good look, stand up straight, have a good stretch, and assure your family and friends that you do, indeed, have a life. Then click on Go Live, and settle in for another day of boring live feeds.
Tuesday 8/5 6:29 p.m. cam 3
Have a Dorky Day!
Three weeks ago the house guests were playing so hard we couldn't catch our breath. Now we are yawning, and all fidgety for some action. We love great players, but hate it when the game gets locked up and predictable. Players who talk about big moves, but won't make them, really tick us off. We want big moves, bloody hands, and a house turned upside down!
After Christine smashed our dreams of a Frankie backdoor plan by not using the veto, there is diddley-poop happening on the feeds.
Let's review:
- Victoria trimmed Hayden's nose and ear hairs. I missed this, and I hope you did too. That's the kind of nonsense that your friends catch you watching and they shake their heads and mumble something about you needing to get a life!
- Christine peed in the hot tub. Thank gawd I missed this. But, there are plenty of screen caps and clips out there, if I get bored enough.
- Caleb talked about Amber, his ex-girlfriend, slop, and his beast-mode fantasies of fame and fortune, over and over, while wearing yet another ridiculous costume and those damn bunny slippers. He is beast-mode-boring!
- Hayden tried to get another kiss from Nicole, which was kind of cute for about 2 minutes, but then it just made me all cranky, because I know BB will waste show time on this non-romance, and I just end up getting all pissed off and grumpy
- Cody works hard at his task of flirting with Christine, and it makes her laugh that horrid laugh, so I had to keep switching cams to escape from that, and the only other choice for a long while was Caleb talking about slop, and this made me cranky all over again.
- Victoria ate 15 tiny bowls of slop while stealth whispering to various house guests. So, even if she was talking game, I couldn't hear anything but her slurping that slop.
- Frankie slept for most of the day, then woke up and began performing his repertoire of characters that were amusing week one, and now bore us completely. Frankie makes me super cranky.
If you want to peek, go right ahead, go directly to the archives. After you have yourself a good look, stand up straight, have a good stretch, and assure your family and friends that you do, indeed, have a life. Then click on Go Live, and settle in for another day of boring live feeds.
Tuesday 8/5 6:29 p.m. cam 3
Have a Dorky Day!
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