Remember that guy who was on BB16? That little weasel who tried to use his celebrity sister, and some charity, to win the game? He was a real camera hog, always singing and dancing and doing stupid stuff to get attention? He was such a diva. I think he had pink hair, or maybe it was blue? And CBS kissed his glittery butt? And Julie acted like a silly fangirl when he was finally evicted? I just can't remember his name. Oh, never mind, it doesn't really matter.
So, here we are at the final four! I can't believe we made it this far. Only one more week to go! Derrick is the new HOH. Caleb and Victoria are on the block. Cody won the veto. It's looking like Caleb will be going to jury. Things could change, but I think that Derrick will make sure that Caleb goes. He's tricky that way!
Caleb is most definitely nervousing. Doing a lot of pacing. Looking very serious. Dreaming up killer speeches for the veto ceremony. He is looking worried, and a wee bit sad.
I have to say that I will be a wee bit sad if Caleb doesn't make it to final three. He has provided us with endless hours of entertainment. The first few weeks of Caleb feeds were awesome! He came up with one delusion after another, and each delusional episode required a new ridiculous costume. And he made a pickle banana!
He channeled all the scariest BB stalkers into one epic StalkMance. He gave us hours and hours of creepy stalker Amber love scenarios. Endless hours. Painful hours. Days and days of hours and hours of obsessing about Amber.
Ok, now that I have walked down memory lane with BeastMode Cowboy, I might not be too sad if he doesn't make it to final three. It might be a relief.
But then we would be left with Victoria. Yes, it's fun to wish for a crazy win for Victoria, just to show the bros a thing or two. But at least Caleb was playing the game. Of course, he did have to learn the game first, since he had no idea how BB works. Victoria seemed completely oblivious to the game for most of the season. Victoria in the final three would be a hoot for sure. It might just happen.
She is convinced she will win the endurance part of the final HOH. No doubt. Guaranteed. She told Derrick she is going to crush it. End of story. They talk about the first endurance comp, the first HOH. She tells him that she would have won that comp if it wasn't for her extensions. Turns out the extensions weighed ten pounds after they were sprayed with all that goop. And every time the log turned her upside down, they would hang down and really hurt her head Her extensions caused her so much pain that she had to drop.
Those extensions have caused her so much trouble and worry. Last night, before she washed her hair up in the HOH shower, she told Derrick all about her hair. Well, she didn't tell him why her hair fell out, that part is still a mystery. But she did explain how traumatized she was when it happened. She is still so ashamed and mortified that I can't even make fun of her.That's kind of how it's been all season. She is so odd, so ditzy, so bad at this game, and yet I kind of like her for making it this far in spite of herself.
9/17 2:45 a.m. cam 1
Here she is in the final four, and she is still so worried that the hgs know she wears extensions, that they might see her without them. After her shower she shows Derrick her real hair. She lets him touch it. Brave little princess. Maybe she needs to go to the jury house now, so she can have some privacy to get her hair ready for the finale. Run away little princess, run while you can.
9/17 3:19 a.m. cam 1
I can't wait for tonight's show, and then the endurance comp we have all been waiting for. I hope and pray that BB lets us see the rest of the comp on the feeds. It better be the endurance comp to beat all endurance comps. We deserve it. We made it to the final four! We survived!!! Live feeders FTW!
Have a Dorky Day!
Showing posts with label Caleb Reynolds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Caleb Reynolds. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
It's Craft Activity Day at BB16 Summer Camp!
Big Brother gave the hgs alcohol last night, and Victoria drank almost a whole bottle of wine. She was a bit tipsy to say the least. Derrick kept telling her to stop, but she kept right on drinking. She got all flirty, and giggly, and seriously annoying. She kept smiling at Derrick. She followed him around just like the old days. She obviously forgot every last bit of her secret agent training. At one point she could barely keep her eyes open, but she would not go to sleep until the guys went to sleep.
After she spent almost an hour telling Caleb how wonderful he is, Caleb returned the favor in that special BeastMode way he has:
Victoria: Love you Caleb
Caleb: Love you too.
(insert extremely long awkward hug here)
Caleb: You done good. Not gonna say you are the best competitor.....
Victoria: Well, I have done good socially. I never stirred up anything, I stayed loyal
Caleb: Yep! You have done exactly all you needed to do. (which is his way of saying she has done absolutely nothing)
Victoria: Aww, thanks Caleb
While this was going on upstairs, Cody and Derrick were having their own very strange convo downstairs. First they swore to never, ever, nominate each other when they get to final four. They repeat this promise to each other several times. And then they decide that it might just be better to nominate each other after all!
This will make Caleb feel all comfy cozy with them, just in case he wins the veto. Maybe they are the ones who drank all the wine last night, because nowhere in this convo do they seem to remember that Caleb would be the only one voting in this scenario. Another no fail plan by the rag tag remnants of the Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever!
They all finally go to bed, but Derrick, Frankie, and Victoria are all up about an hour later because they can't sleep. It's cereal time! What would BB be without cereal, chips, chomping mouths , and smacking lips? Frankie takes his cereal outside and chomp-smacks away as he performs for the live feeders.
Then he tells us what he will do after BB. The life of a social media mogul-o-maniac superstar of Big Brother is rough on the body. Turns out he has a long list of doctors he plans to see ASAP. He tells his mom to start making appointments, STAT!!
A little later Derrick is trying to talk some game sense into a still tipsy Victoria. He gets so frustrated that he almost slips and tells her he's a cop! Left alone after the convo, he tells us that was a very close call. He almost blew his entire game! He seems pretty shook up.
Well, they are all gonna be shook up today! The Fabulous Frankie Eviction should take place this afternoon!!! The hgs have been promised an activity day. This means BB will tape them doing something crafty while they pretend it's night time, to fool the BBAD viewers. BB is tricky that way!
As I write this, the hgs have awakened to discover tie dye kits in the storage room. They are mostly underwhelmed. Caleb is still listening for the doorbell, hoping for a celebrity with a diesel truck full of cash to walk in the door. They still have no idea about today's eviction as the feeds go down and we get those stupid Jeff videos.
Most likely the feeds will be down until after Tuesday's, or maybe even Wednesday's show. Typically, this is your chance to get some housework done, visit with friends you haven't seen all season, and stock up on snacks for this weeks episodes. But you are all busy watching Utopia live feeds, so I fear there is no hope for you getting anything done before the eviction show.
Well, I for one have resisted all urges to sign up for my Utopia passport, free or paid. I just don't trust Fox with my personal info. I am Fox-phobic. And I can't get any of the other free Utopia feeds sites to work. So I guess it's up to me. There will be no dorky blog tomorrow. I'll be too busy slipping flat snack foods under your doors so you don't starve to death under Hex's new Anarchy regime!
Have a Dorky Day!
After she spent almost an hour telling Caleb how wonderful he is, Caleb returned the favor in that special BeastMode way he has:
Victoria: Love you Caleb
Caleb: Love you too.
(insert extremely long awkward hug here)
Caleb: You done good. Not gonna say you are the best competitor.....
Victoria: Well, I have done good socially. I never stirred up anything, I stayed loyal
Caleb: Yep! You have done exactly all you needed to do. (which is his way of saying she has done absolutely nothing)
Victoria: Aww, thanks Caleb
While this was going on upstairs, Cody and Derrick were having their own very strange convo downstairs. First they swore to never, ever, nominate each other when they get to final four. They repeat this promise to each other several times. And then they decide that it might just be better to nominate each other after all!
This will make Caleb feel all comfy cozy with them, just in case he wins the veto. Maybe they are the ones who drank all the wine last night, because nowhere in this convo do they seem to remember that Caleb would be the only one voting in this scenario. Another no fail plan by the rag tag remnants of the Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever!
They all finally go to bed, but Derrick, Frankie, and Victoria are all up about an hour later because they can't sleep. It's cereal time! What would BB be without cereal, chips, chomping mouths , and smacking lips? Frankie takes his cereal outside and chomp-smacks away as he performs for the live feeders.
Then he tells us what he will do after BB. The life of a social media mogul-o-maniac superstar of Big Brother is rough on the body. Turns out he has a long list of doctors he plans to see ASAP. He tells his mom to start making appointments, STAT!!
- Dermatologist is his first stop.
- Podiatrist, for his left ankle and foot, which he says he injured in a comp
- Dentist, as he rolls his tongue around inside his mouth
- Orthopedic surgeon, for his back. His eyes go a little dreamy as he imagines the dire diagnosis
- Complete blood work-up, to check his mercury levels from all the tuna he's been eating. His eyes are still a little dreamy, because blood work might reveal he has all kinds of parasites and poisons from the horrid conditions under which he has been forced to live for three months
- General Doctor, to catch anything the specialists might have missed
- Ear, Nose, & Throat Doctor, because, OMG, because of everything.
- And he needs to get his whole body waxed!!!
A little later Derrick is trying to talk some game sense into a still tipsy Victoria. He gets so frustrated that he almost slips and tells her he's a cop! Left alone after the convo, he tells us that was a very close call. He almost blew his entire game! He seems pretty shook up.
Well, they are all gonna be shook up today! The Fabulous Frankie Eviction should take place this afternoon!!! The hgs have been promised an activity day. This means BB will tape them doing something crafty while they pretend it's night time, to fool the BBAD viewers. BB is tricky that way!
As I write this, the hgs have awakened to discover tie dye kits in the storage room. They are mostly underwhelmed. Caleb is still listening for the doorbell, hoping for a celebrity with a diesel truck full of cash to walk in the door. They still have no idea about today's eviction as the feeds go down and we get those stupid Jeff videos.
Most likely the feeds will be down until after Tuesday's, or maybe even Wednesday's show. Typically, this is your chance to get some housework done, visit with friends you haven't seen all season, and stock up on snacks for this weeks episodes. But you are all busy watching Utopia live feeds, so I fear there is no hope for you getting anything done before the eviction show.
Well, I for one have resisted all urges to sign up for my Utopia passport, free or paid. I just don't trust Fox with my personal info. I am Fox-phobic. And I can't get any of the other free Utopia feeds sites to work. So I guess it's up to me. There will be no dorky blog tomorrow. I'll be too busy slipping flat snack foods under your doors so you don't starve to death under Hex's new Anarchy regime!
Have a Dorky Day!
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Victoria's Extensions For The Win!!!
Yesterday I tuned into the feeds now and then. Mostly boring. The hgs are about to crack from that strange mix of pressure and boredom we see around this time every season. The end is so close, yet so far away. They have been locked up so long together they can't stand it one more second. They want so badly to stay in the game and win, but if they don't get out of that house right now, they might just go completely crazy. I kept checking in, hoping for the crazy.
Frankie plopped himself down in that stupid bird nest bed and tried his usual tricks on Caleb. He pats the bed and tells Caleb to come on over here, sit here next to me, come on, right here. Like he's talking to a dog. But this dog (Caleb) has learned some new tricks.
Caleb eventually does sit down on the bed, but he positions himself far away from Frankie. He rarely makes eye contact. He squashes every whiny, wheedling thing that Frankie comes up with to save his sorry butt. Frankie is doing all the same things that have worked on Caleb for this whole game, but they aren't working now. Frankie seems a bit lost here. He's saying all the right things, why isn't Caleb groveling at his feet? Frankie keeps trying to get close enough for a cuddle, but it's just not happening.
He finally pulls the charity card. He says that he is playing an honorable game because he would never want to win dirty money for his charity. Since Caleb has already argued that Frankie has all the jury votes because of that charity, Frankie's charity card is totally wasted on Caleb. Frankie also pulls the world card. The world will hate Caleb if he betrays Frankie. Caleb's world is filled with recording contracts, acting jobs, red carpets and limousines, so Frankie's world card is just litter at Caleb's superstar feet.
9/14 1:54 a.m. cam 3-4
Frankie leaves the HOH with absolutely no reassurances of safety from Caleb. His magic glitter wand isn't working anymore! Where are his magical powers??? Frankie has no choice now but to call forth the dark twitter magic of Ariana's fans, to ensure that he wins Americas favorite Player.
In other news, Victoria is seriously considering going rogue! She complains to Derrick about everything she has to put up with in this house! She is fed up! She is the last girl standing, she has no one to talk to, she hates Cody with every fiber of her being, it's not fair! She wants to cause some drama! Victoria is ready to rumble!
She tells Derrick that she wants to have a one-on-one with Caleb. She wants to tell Caleb about her hair. This will make Caleb want to take her to the final two. She will tell him the true story of what happened to make her hair fall out, and then they will have a bond. And when he knows about her hair, he will know how badly she needs the money.
She says all this with that gleam in her eye, her secret agent-special-mission-gleam. Her hair story will be her biggest game move ever!!! Derrick has to work hard to nip this silly plan in the bud. He tells her all the reasons why a sob story this late in the game would backfire, and probably send her packing. She backs down a bit, but you can tell she is still seriously considering this move. She is gonna go rogue, I just know it!
9/14 1:24 a.m. cam 1
Will Ariana's fans win the twitter war and crown Frankie J. Grande as America's Most Hated Favorite Player? And what is the true story of Victoria's hair? How can it save her game? Will she show Caleb her bloody scalp? Will Caleb be wearing her extensions at the veto ceremony today? They would look mighty fine with those damn bunny slippers.
Have a Dorky Day!
Frankie plopped himself down in that stupid bird nest bed and tried his usual tricks on Caleb. He pats the bed and tells Caleb to come on over here, sit here next to me, come on, right here. Like he's talking to a dog. But this dog (Caleb) has learned some new tricks.
Caleb eventually does sit down on the bed, but he positions himself far away from Frankie. He rarely makes eye contact. He squashes every whiny, wheedling thing that Frankie comes up with to save his sorry butt. Frankie is doing all the same things that have worked on Caleb for this whole game, but they aren't working now. Frankie seems a bit lost here. He's saying all the right things, why isn't Caleb groveling at his feet? Frankie keeps trying to get close enough for a cuddle, but it's just not happening.
He finally pulls the charity card. He says that he is playing an honorable game because he would never want to win dirty money for his charity. Since Caleb has already argued that Frankie has all the jury votes because of that charity, Frankie's charity card is totally wasted on Caleb. Frankie also pulls the world card. The world will hate Caleb if he betrays Frankie. Caleb's world is filled with recording contracts, acting jobs, red carpets and limousines, so Frankie's world card is just litter at Caleb's superstar feet.
9/14 1:54 a.m. cam 3-4
Frankie leaves the HOH with absolutely no reassurances of safety from Caleb. His magic glitter wand isn't working anymore! Where are his magical powers??? Frankie has no choice now but to call forth the dark twitter magic of Ariana's fans, to ensure that he wins Americas favorite Player.
In other news, Victoria is seriously considering going rogue! She complains to Derrick about everything she has to put up with in this house! She is fed up! She is the last girl standing, she has no one to talk to, she hates Cody with every fiber of her being, it's not fair! She wants to cause some drama! Victoria is ready to rumble!
She tells Derrick that she wants to have a one-on-one with Caleb. She wants to tell Caleb about her hair. This will make Caleb want to take her to the final two. She will tell him the true story of what happened to make her hair fall out, and then they will have a bond. And when he knows about her hair, he will know how badly she needs the money.
She says all this with that gleam in her eye, her secret agent-special-mission-gleam. Her hair story will be her biggest game move ever!!! Derrick has to work hard to nip this silly plan in the bud. He tells her all the reasons why a sob story this late in the game would backfire, and probably send her packing. She backs down a bit, but you can tell she is still seriously considering this move. She is gonna go rogue, I just know it!
9/14 1:24 a.m. cam 1
Will Ariana's fans win the twitter war and crown Frankie J. Grande as America's Most Hated Favorite Player? And what is the true story of Victoria's hair? How can it save her game? Will she show Caleb her bloody scalp? Will Caleb be wearing her extensions at the veto ceremony today? They would look mighty fine with those damn bunny slippers.
Have a Dorky Day!
Friday, September 12, 2014
Frankie Has The Worst Day Ever! Yes!!!
Wowzer! Yesterday was a great day of live feeds!!! The fun began in the morning with a luxury comp alert, and lasted all day long, and into the night! Woohoo!
The hgs woke up to a message on the living room TV screen: "It's time for a Luxury Comp!" Oh my goodness, they got all kinds of excited! Caleb's delusions included every impossible luxury item in the universe, designed especially for him. Most of them were various combinations of celebrities, recording contracts, and a big ass diesel truck.
They were then locked up in the HOH with breakfast and the TV. The front door opened, and the jury members were back in the house! It was the best four minutes of feeds in days. The jury went berzerker in the BB house!!! They trashed every room! Clothes, towels, dishes, food, and bedding were flying through the air! Oh happy day!!!
Zach threw Victoria's clothes on the living room table and danced the fandango while pouring Froot Loops all over the place. He was wearing his new pink hat and a huge grin! Jocasta went to town on destroying the kitchen. She poured honey, hot sauce, and garbage all over the place. She was a holy terror!
The hgs watched this all happen. The were laughing at first, but then they looked a wee bit worried. Hayden bent over to moon them, and that's when we got fish. When the feeds come back, we learn that Victoria and Hayden somehow won $5,000 each, the house is even more trashed than before, and the hgs are royally pissed off. Yes!!!
The hgs were teamed up with a jury member for the comp, which was a variation of the comp where they each go into the house to search for a token or chip to win the prize. But wait! There's more! A twisted twist that meant the hgs had to watch the jury members play the comp! The hgs didn't even get to play! Plus, the jury had a chance to win money!!! Scandalous!
It was fabulous feeds for most of the afternoon! They were so angry! Their home had been invaded! Vandalized by disgusting, immature, evil people! They complained for hours! They had to clean up the mess the bitter jury had left behind, and they grumbled about the worst ever luxury comp the whole time.
Never before in the history of Big Brother has there ever been such a bitter, evil jury! The hgs repeat this over and over. They seem to believe the jury thought this whole thing up themselves. Like they snuck out of the jury house without permission. This is personal! This is their home!
Well mostly it's Frankie's home, and he is completely devastated. How dare they they come in here! It is a travesty that jury members got to play in the comp! He fears he may never recover from this very personal assault. It's BB sacrilege that evicted hgs had a chance to win money! Hayden won money! That's just cruel!!! It's not fair!
Meanwhile, Caleb is wearing those damn bunny slippers again. They must have been unearthed in the raid. I won't complain about them though. They may have given him the courage to nominate Frankie!
Hallelujah! Frankie and Victoria are on the block, and Frankie is not taking it well. First the home invasion, then the worst luxury comp ever, and now he is on the block! Why are the strong and virtuous always tested in these terrible ways? He is loyal, and truthful, and good, and pure!
He takes several baths during the evening, so that he can tell the live feeders his troubles and woes while naked and surrounded by bubbles. And the whole time he does this, you can tell that he really wishes he could just let his nasty self out, and throw the biggest hissy fit of his life. He is really furious, but he tells us that everything that happened today has hurt his heart, and his soul. All of this while checking that the cams are still on him. He is one Grande piece of work!
The hgs spent a lot of time studying the memory wall for the morph comp rewind. Caleb and Frankie even devised their own study aids! Frankie cut a spy screen hole into a tortilla and held it up to the photos. This makes the guys a little nervous, seeing him so close to the memory wall, looking through a hole in a tortilla.
Caleb crafts a study mask from a paper towel and two panty liners. He says it gives him ninja powers, and hides his identity, all in one! Derrick is wearing his daughters blanket on his head, but hasn't shared it's study enhancing capabilities with us yet. Cody is just trying to stay awake. All this concentrating is putting him to sleep. He needs someone to flirt with to keep him awake. Victoria joins them now and then, but her study look is no different than her everyday vacant stare we have seen all season.
At some point during study group, Caleb goes upstairs to listen to music and make a complete fool of himself on national tee-vee! He spends a good hour up there dancing and playing air guitar. He is crushing it! He is a beast! He tells us he is single. Ladies, come and get it! He is The Cowboy Of Love!
This leaves Cody, Derrick, and Frankie alone in front of the memory wall. They have a little meeting about the nominations. Frankie absolves them of all sins, and says he understands that it was all about Caleb's ego. After a brief exchange of lies and misinformation, they all agree that they are not idiots. I'm not an idiot, you're not an idiot, we are not idiots! So that settles that! And then their eyes wander up to the HOH, and they very quietly super-stealth-whisper that Caleb is the idiot. Shhhh! It's a secret!
While further data might be needed to confirm their own individual and collective idiocy, they are correct in crowning Caleb as their idiot king. When Caleb wasn't complaining about the jury and the luxury comp, he was mostly busy telling everyone why he will win the game and/or America's Favorite Player. He goes on for hours about how damn good he is at this game. And he knows that the viewers are just loving him! He is just dadgum awesome!
He told Frankie that he nommed him because they were worried that if Frankie won the veto, he would use it on Victoria! They had a great cover story going, but Caleb just has to be honest and tell it like it is. He also told Frankie that he knows Frankie won't take him to the end, because Frankie knows Caleb will beat him. So, he basically told Frankie that they don't trust him anymore. Then, to secure his position as Idiot Supreme, he spent a good long while spilling the beans to Victoria about the history making Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever.
Watch out everybody! BeastMode Bunny-Slippers is back in the house!
Have a Dorky Day!
The hgs woke up to a message on the living room TV screen: "It's time for a Luxury Comp!" Oh my goodness, they got all kinds of excited! Caleb's delusions included every impossible luxury item in the universe, designed especially for him. Most of them were various combinations of celebrities, recording contracts, and a big ass diesel truck.
They were then locked up in the HOH with breakfast and the TV. The front door opened, and the jury members were back in the house! It was the best four minutes of feeds in days. The jury went berzerker in the BB house!!! They trashed every room! Clothes, towels, dishes, food, and bedding were flying through the air! Oh happy day!!!
Zach threw Victoria's clothes on the living room table and danced the fandango while pouring Froot Loops all over the place. He was wearing his new pink hat and a huge grin! Jocasta went to town on destroying the kitchen. She poured honey, hot sauce, and garbage all over the place. She was a holy terror!
The hgs watched this all happen. The were laughing at first, but then they looked a wee bit worried. Hayden bent over to moon them, and that's when we got fish. When the feeds come back, we learn that Victoria and Hayden somehow won $5,000 each, the house is even more trashed than before, and the hgs are royally pissed off. Yes!!!
The hgs were teamed up with a jury member for the comp, which was a variation of the comp where they each go into the house to search for a token or chip to win the prize. But wait! There's more! A twisted twist that meant the hgs had to watch the jury members play the comp! The hgs didn't even get to play! Plus, the jury had a chance to win money!!! Scandalous!
It was fabulous feeds for most of the afternoon! They were so angry! Their home had been invaded! Vandalized by disgusting, immature, evil people! They complained for hours! They had to clean up the mess the bitter jury had left behind, and they grumbled about the worst ever luxury comp the whole time.
Never before in the history of Big Brother has there ever been such a bitter, evil jury! The hgs repeat this over and over. They seem to believe the jury thought this whole thing up themselves. Like they snuck out of the jury house without permission. This is personal! This is their home!
Well mostly it's Frankie's home, and he is completely devastated. How dare they they come in here! It is a travesty that jury members got to play in the comp! He fears he may never recover from this very personal assault. It's BB sacrilege that evicted hgs had a chance to win money! Hayden won money! That's just cruel!!! It's not fair!
Meanwhile, Caleb is wearing those damn bunny slippers again. They must have been unearthed in the raid. I won't complain about them though. They may have given him the courage to nominate Frankie!
Hallelujah! Frankie and Victoria are on the block, and Frankie is not taking it well. First the home invasion, then the worst luxury comp ever, and now he is on the block! Why are the strong and virtuous always tested in these terrible ways? He is loyal, and truthful, and good, and pure!
He takes several baths during the evening, so that he can tell the live feeders his troubles and woes while naked and surrounded by bubbles. And the whole time he does this, you can tell that he really wishes he could just let his nasty self out, and throw the biggest hissy fit of his life. He is really furious, but he tells us that everything that happened today has hurt his heart, and his soul. All of this while checking that the cams are still on him. He is one Grande piece of work!
The hgs spent a lot of time studying the memory wall for the morph comp rewind. Caleb and Frankie even devised their own study aids! Frankie cut a spy screen hole into a tortilla and held it up to the photos. This makes the guys a little nervous, seeing him so close to the memory wall, looking through a hole in a tortilla.
Caleb crafts a study mask from a paper towel and two panty liners. He says it gives him ninja powers, and hides his identity, all in one! Derrick is wearing his daughters blanket on his head, but hasn't shared it's study enhancing capabilities with us yet. Cody is just trying to stay awake. All this concentrating is putting him to sleep. He needs someone to flirt with to keep him awake. Victoria joins them now and then, but her study look is no different than her everyday vacant stare we have seen all season.
At some point during study group, Caleb goes upstairs to listen to music and make a complete fool of himself on national tee-vee! He spends a good hour up there dancing and playing air guitar. He is crushing it! He is a beast! He tells us he is single. Ladies, come and get it! He is The Cowboy Of Love!
This leaves Cody, Derrick, and Frankie alone in front of the memory wall. They have a little meeting about the nominations. Frankie absolves them of all sins, and says he understands that it was all about Caleb's ego. After a brief exchange of lies and misinformation, they all agree that they are not idiots. I'm not an idiot, you're not an idiot, we are not idiots! So that settles that! And then their eyes wander up to the HOH, and they very quietly super-stealth-whisper that Caleb is the idiot. Shhhh! It's a secret!
While further data might be needed to confirm their own individual and collective idiocy, they are correct in crowning Caleb as their idiot king. When Caleb wasn't complaining about the jury and the luxury comp, he was mostly busy telling everyone why he will win the game and/or America's Favorite Player. He goes on for hours about how damn good he is at this game. And he knows that the viewers are just loving him! He is just dadgum awesome!
He told Frankie that he nommed him because they were worried that if Frankie won the veto, he would use it on Victoria! They had a great cover story going, but Caleb just has to be honest and tell it like it is. He also told Frankie that he knows Frankie won't take him to the end, because Frankie knows Caleb will beat him. So, he basically told Frankie that they don't trust him anymore. Then, to secure his position as Idiot Supreme, he spent a good long while spilling the beans to Victoria about the history making Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever.
Watch out everybody! BeastMode Bunny-Slippers is back in the house!
Have a Dorky Day!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Production Has Left The Building!
What can I say? I have no words. Well, I have words, but they are not suitable for print. Suffice it to say I am quite cranky this morning. Cranky to the max. But that's old news. That's just a replay of how I felt last week. I'm on a cranky rewind.
Caleb won the HOH comp. The rewind HOH comp. The comp they have already played once. That we've already seen before. The comp that they didn't let us see the winner of on the show, again. The comp that maybe Frankie threw this time.
I can't decide on that one. Did he throw it to make sure he would be able to play in the next HOH? I sure won't suggest this to Caleb, because he get's all crazy eyed about it. He crushed that comp! He is so great, and awesome, and crushing! No way Frankie threw that comp! Caleb crushed him! Lot's of crushing talk last night.
Derrick is now working double, triple, undercover overtime to keep his butt off the block. Victoria is working undercover too! Derrick has convinced her that she might be safe from leaving this week if they keep up the act.
Victoria is positively beaming when they talk about their secret mission. I love seeing her so happy to be finally playing the game. But I get all worried whenever they talk now. What if someone watching the HOH spy screen sees her smiling and talking with Derrick? What if her cover is blown?
Meanwhile, they take a break from worrying about noms to study for the veto comp. The comp they already played once! Aaaarghhh! This rewind twist is so infuriating! Why did they do this stupid rewind? Why, why, why??? Has production left the building? Or maybe production has been taken hostage, leaving the interns to run the show? Did Allison Grodner just forget we already did this, or is she truly evil?
Let's just get this week over with! But first, Julie wants us to vote on tarantulas? For another show? WTF?? I vote for lots and lots of hairy tarantulas.
But why should Julie have all the fun? I think all of production should join her. Let's punish them for dreaming up this ridiculous week of rewinds. I say we throw them all in a giant box, with tarantulas and all sorts of nasty creepy crawlies, while wearing shock unitards, in between chum baths, after we shave their heads! I could rewind that all the day long!
Have a Dorky Day!
Caleb won the HOH comp. The rewind HOH comp. The comp they have already played once. That we've already seen before. The comp that they didn't let us see the winner of on the show, again. The comp that maybe Frankie threw this time.
I can't decide on that one. Did he throw it to make sure he would be able to play in the next HOH? I sure won't suggest this to Caleb, because he get's all crazy eyed about it. He crushed that comp! He is so great, and awesome, and crushing! No way Frankie threw that comp! Caleb crushed him! Lot's of crushing talk last night.
Derrick is now working double, triple, undercover overtime to keep his butt off the block. Victoria is working undercover too! Derrick has convinced her that she might be safe from leaving this week if they keep up the act.
Victoria is positively beaming when they talk about their secret mission. I love seeing her so happy to be finally playing the game. But I get all worried whenever they talk now. What if someone watching the HOH spy screen sees her smiling and talking with Derrick? What if her cover is blown?
Meanwhile, they take a break from worrying about noms to study for the veto comp. The comp they already played once! Aaaarghhh! This rewind twist is so infuriating! Why did they do this stupid rewind? Why, why, why??? Has production left the building? Or maybe production has been taken hostage, leaving the interns to run the show? Did Allison Grodner just forget we already did this, or is she truly evil?
Let's just get this week over with! But first, Julie wants us to vote on tarantulas? For another show? WTF?? I vote for lots and lots of hairy tarantulas.
But why should Julie have all the fun? I think all of production should join her. Let's punish them for dreaming up this ridiculous week of rewinds. I say we throw them all in a giant box, with tarantulas and all sorts of nasty creepy crawlies, while wearing shock unitards, in between chum baths, after we shave their heads! I could rewind that all the day long!
Have a Dorky Day!
Friday, September 5, 2014
Boo! Hiss! Hooray!!!
Christine walked out of the BB house and the audience booed her loud and clear! It was awesome! I loved it! I've never heard a BB audience boo like that. I have wanted them to boo plenty of times, but BB runs that audience with an iron fist. The live audience response is as scripted as most of the drs we've been seeing lately. Last night the boos for Christine were music to my ears.
Christine was just so mean! She griped about everything, all the time. She hated everyone! She loved to talk about how much she hated people. She would sit there on the bed, holding a Bible in her lap, and just randomly announce that she hated someone.
Last night I didn't even feel the least bit guilty that those boos made me so happy. And I didn't feel bad for her at all. Christine seems like the kind of person that would have jumped at the chance to be in that audience, booing her most hated house guest. And she would have sneaked in a few hisses, just because!
Those boos really had the other hgs freaked the fook out! They seemed totally confused, and upset, to hear the audience respond so negatively. They were ready to hide underneath the beds and never, ever, leave the Big Brother house.
But Frankie took control, and shared his theory about those boos. He is certain that she talked trash about his sister in the diary room! And his fans didn't like that one bit. There is absolutely no other explanation. She trashed his family and the fans have spoken.
He said this over and over again throughout the night. He insists that she hated the fact that he is a Grande, that his sister is a superstar Grande, and that his last name is Grande. And it's obvious to him that she trashed the Grande name in the diary room. He plans to say his last name a hundred times in his goodbye message to her. Grande, Grande, Grande! Frankie is suffering from a Grande delusion about those boos, and there is no telling him otherwise.
Ok, moving right along, we then have some minor freaking out about the gold button. Derrick seems the most upset by its presence. He is still in shock from having won the shortest HOH comp in the history of Big Brother. That gold button is pushing his panic buttons.
Caleb knows all about the gold button. He describes, in detail, how the button will bring him a recording contract, a trip to Hawaii, and large cash prizes. Frankie takes control again, and gives a little speech about gold buttons, and how they work in Big Brother. Then he brags some more about how fabulous he is for winning that veto! Did you see him win? Did you see how he won? Did you know he won? Did you know he is fabulous, and that he won the veto? He is just so damn fabulous!
Some time passes, the feeds go down, and when they return, Voila! Frankie has won the second HOH comp. The gold button has a sign that says it's their choice, all it takes is one push. Frankie wants to push it! Please, please, please, let's push it! And moments later, they do it! A countdown clock shows us that the zero hour is Wednesday night.
We know that the gold button pushing resulted in a rewind. At the zero hour, live voting will stop and the game will rewind, dethroning Frankie and pulling his noms off the block. Then the week will be replayed, starting with a new HOH comp. The only mystery that remains is whether Derrick will be eligible to play in that comp.
We know all this twisted gold button info, but the hgs still know nothing. Lots of speculation and paranoia about that button. It looks like Victoria and Cody will be the noms. Will this week be a big waste, since everything will be flipped come eviction night? Or will it be great fun to watch Frankie scheme and plan and manipulate all for nothing? Will Frankie's ego take on a life of it's own? Will Caleb, Cody, and Frankie practice a Chippendales review in front of those damn mirrors?
And let's not forget the most important detail of all. Victoria is the last woman standing in BB16! You go girl! Victoria FTW!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Christine was just so mean! She griped about everything, all the time. She hated everyone! She loved to talk about how much she hated people. She would sit there on the bed, holding a Bible in her lap, and just randomly announce that she hated someone.
Last night I didn't even feel the least bit guilty that those boos made me so happy. And I didn't feel bad for her at all. Christine seems like the kind of person that would have jumped at the chance to be in that audience, booing her most hated house guest. And she would have sneaked in a few hisses, just because!
Those boos really had the other hgs freaked the fook out! They seemed totally confused, and upset, to hear the audience respond so negatively. They were ready to hide underneath the beds and never, ever, leave the Big Brother house.
But Frankie took control, and shared his theory about those boos. He is certain that she talked trash about his sister in the diary room! And his fans didn't like that one bit. There is absolutely no other explanation. She trashed his family and the fans have spoken.
He said this over and over again throughout the night. He insists that she hated the fact that he is a Grande, that his sister is a superstar Grande, and that his last name is Grande. And it's obvious to him that she trashed the Grande name in the diary room. He plans to say his last name a hundred times in his goodbye message to her. Grande, Grande, Grande! Frankie is suffering from a Grande delusion about those boos, and there is no telling him otherwise.
Ok, moving right along, we then have some minor freaking out about the gold button. Derrick seems the most upset by its presence. He is still in shock from having won the shortest HOH comp in the history of Big Brother. That gold button is pushing his panic buttons.
Caleb knows all about the gold button. He describes, in detail, how the button will bring him a recording contract, a trip to Hawaii, and large cash prizes. Frankie takes control again, and gives a little speech about gold buttons, and how they work in Big Brother. Then he brags some more about how fabulous he is for winning that veto! Did you see him win? Did you see how he won? Did you know he won? Did you know he is fabulous, and that he won the veto? He is just so damn fabulous!
Some time passes, the feeds go down, and when they return, Voila! Frankie has won the second HOH comp. The gold button has a sign that says it's their choice, all it takes is one push. Frankie wants to push it! Please, please, please, let's push it! And moments later, they do it! A countdown clock shows us that the zero hour is Wednesday night.
We know that the gold button pushing resulted in a rewind. At the zero hour, live voting will stop and the game will rewind, dethroning Frankie and pulling his noms off the block. Then the week will be replayed, starting with a new HOH comp. The only mystery that remains is whether Derrick will be eligible to play in that comp.
We know all this twisted gold button info, but the hgs still know nothing. Lots of speculation and paranoia about that button. It looks like Victoria and Cody will be the noms. Will this week be a big waste, since everything will be flipped come eviction night? Or will it be great fun to watch Frankie scheme and plan and manipulate all for nothing? Will Frankie's ego take on a life of it's own? Will Caleb, Cody, and Frankie practice a Chippendales review in front of those damn mirrors?
And let's not forget the most important detail of all. Victoria is the last woman standing in BB16! You go girl! Victoria FTW!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
I Want A Banner Plane And I Want It Now!!!
The feeds were more of the same yesterday. Mostly boring, with plenty of lying and butt kissing. They are all trying to set themselves up for safety for a double eviction on Thursday night. It's impossible to tell whether they are lying or truthing. And do we really care? Let's just go directly to the double eviction and get this season over with already!!
Caleb isn't kissing much butt. His strategy seems to be "Let me tell you what a BB beast I am and then we'll talk some game." His ego knows no bounds. Yesterday, when he did his HOH blog and tweets, BB gave him a few fan questions to answer. One fan asked what kind of girl he likes. Caleb now believes that BB is his personal dating service.
He is convinced that his answer to this question will bring him thousands of "applicants" to fill the position of girlfriend. He imagines they will pay $500 for a chance to date him. He got so excited as he told the guys about this that he had to run to the dr to make sure they were clear on the job description: "Don't love me for my looks, or my truck, just give me $500 and we'll get along real good!"
Victoria has refused to kiss any butt. Derrick tells her to stop spending so much time with Nicole. He explains that Nicole can't do anything for her game. Victoria needs to be talking to Cody and Frankie and Christine! Victoria say NO! She doesn't want to. She won't do it! Not one single butt will be kissed by her princess lips!
This is what you end up with if you carry someone through the game. When it finally comes down to it, Derrick has spent endless hours managing Victoria's moods. It's hard, thankless work. And here they are, on double eviction eve, and she finally says NO! What is a master manipulator to do?
Let's see...hmm..anything else happen lately? Hmmm..Christine told Frankie about coffee enemas and he got a faraway look in his eyes. No..that's not it....hmmm. Oh yeah, I remember now!
A BANNER PLANE FLEW OVER THE HOUSE!!! Yes! Well, allegedly. We had a long indoor lock down and there were many reports of a banner plane flying over the area. "FRANKIE & DERRICK R THE SABOTEURS" was the alleged message. If the hgs saw it they aren't telling. And we sure didn't see it. Dammit!
I love the banner plane. I think it's so wild that a fan would spend that kind of money to fly a message over the house! I thrill at the potential for creating paranoia and panic. A shout over the wall is one thing. Those are free. But a plane costs some dollars, takes some commitment. A banner plane is hard to dismiss as poppycock, the way they've been doing with the shouts. Caleb would take one look at that message and say "I been in the military, and that there banner plane ain't no poppycock!"
I wonder what it's like for people in the neighborhood. If they don't know diddly about BB, what are they thinking when they see that message fly across the sky? Maybe they have a boss named Derrick! Or a boyfriend named Frankie! Maybe they are googling "saboteur" and changing their locks right now! I think about the pilot. Is this a risky business? Will the men in black soon be paying him/her a visit? Will the pilot give up his client when Julie says "I need an answer now!"?
The thought of this alleged banner plane amused and entertained me for hours. I imagined myself chartering a banner plane to fly over the BB house. My message? "FRANKIE IS REALLY 31 YEARS OLD!" It might not change the game, but it would really piss Frankie off! It's a sad day when my imaginary BB life is more fun than my real one.
Have a Dorky Day!
Caleb isn't kissing much butt. His strategy seems to be "Let me tell you what a BB beast I am and then we'll talk some game." His ego knows no bounds. Yesterday, when he did his HOH blog and tweets, BB gave him a few fan questions to answer. One fan asked what kind of girl he likes. Caleb now believes that BB is his personal dating service.
He is convinced that his answer to this question will bring him thousands of "applicants" to fill the position of girlfriend. He imagines they will pay $500 for a chance to date him. He got so excited as he told the guys about this that he had to run to the dr to make sure they were clear on the job description: "Don't love me for my looks, or my truck, just give me $500 and we'll get along real good!"
Victoria has refused to kiss any butt. Derrick tells her to stop spending so much time with Nicole. He explains that Nicole can't do anything for her game. Victoria needs to be talking to Cody and Frankie and Christine! Victoria say NO! She doesn't want to. She won't do it! Not one single butt will be kissed by her princess lips!
This is what you end up with if you carry someone through the game. When it finally comes down to it, Derrick has spent endless hours managing Victoria's moods. It's hard, thankless work. And here they are, on double eviction eve, and she finally says NO! What is a master manipulator to do?
Let's see...hmm..anything else happen lately? Hmmm..Christine told Frankie about coffee enemas and he got a faraway look in his eyes. No..that's not it....hmmm. Oh yeah, I remember now!
A BANNER PLANE FLEW OVER THE HOUSE!!! Yes! Well, allegedly. We had a long indoor lock down and there were many reports of a banner plane flying over the area. "FRANKIE & DERRICK R THE SABOTEURS" was the alleged message. If the hgs saw it they aren't telling. And we sure didn't see it. Dammit!
I love the banner plane. I think it's so wild that a fan would spend that kind of money to fly a message over the house! I thrill at the potential for creating paranoia and panic. A shout over the wall is one thing. Those are free. But a plane costs some dollars, takes some commitment. A banner plane is hard to dismiss as poppycock, the way they've been doing with the shouts. Caleb would take one look at that message and say "I been in the military, and that there banner plane ain't no poppycock!"
I wonder what it's like for people in the neighborhood. If they don't know diddly about BB, what are they thinking when they see that message fly across the sky? Maybe they have a boss named Derrick! Or a boyfriend named Frankie! Maybe they are googling "saboteur" and changing their locks right now! I think about the pilot. Is this a risky business? Will the men in black soon be paying him/her a visit? Will the pilot give up his client when Julie says "I need an answer now!"?
The thought of this alleged banner plane amused and entertained me for hours. I imagined myself chartering a banner plane to fly over the BB house. My message? "FRANKIE IS REALLY 31 YEARS OLD!" It might not change the game, but it would really piss Frankie off! It's a sad day when my imaginary BB life is more fun than my real one.
Have a Dorky Day!
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Red FTW!!! (oops!...wrong feeds!)
Days and days of boring BB feeds brought to you by Caleb wimping out on his plans to backdoor Frankie. It's pitiful. It's infuriating. It's dad-gum crazy!
I didn't have much hope for this plan anyway. But it sure would have been a fun week of feeds. I was kind of looking forward to watching Frankie freak the fook out. I wanna see him scramble, and cry, and plead, and scheme, and ultimately fail! I want me some good BB!!!
The way things are going it may never happen. This week's double eviction might be our only hope. But double evictions are tricky. The hg's are all hyped up and go into panic mode. They get freaked out at the idea of making a big move that they might have to pay for 20 minutes later. Will anybody have the guts to nom Frankie? They are all talking big talk right now, but I doubt any of them will do it. I feel a cranky coming on!
Meanwhile, Frankie is giving Caleb some social media mogul advice. Today Caleb gets to do his HOH blog and tweets. Frankie tells Caleb to blog about him! What a great idea! Caleb can blog about how he was considering putting Frankie on the block, but then made the best decision of his life when he didn't do it! Blog about meeeeeeeeeee!!! Tweet about meeeeeeeeee!
Frankie is acting like it's no big deal that his alliance talked about backdooring him. I'm not buying it. Are you? I think that if Frankie wins either double evic HOH comp this week he will take his revenge on them in Grande style. We will be treated to a major production of the Frankie Show. If this happens, it will be both horrible and wonderful to behold.
And what is to become of Victoria? Does everyone secretly want to end up in a f2 with her? Is that the only winning strategy for BB16? And what about us? At this point in the game, do we loathe them all so completely that we want Victoria to make it to the end and win? Is this what we have come to?
Three more weeks till the finale. The real question is what will become of us? Will we make it to the end? This season is in such a sad state that the fans might just start yelling Utopia shout outs over the wall of the BB house! But we will miss it, because we'll all be over in Utopia signing up to join Red's Utopia State Of Freedom! Red FTW!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
I didn't have much hope for this plan anyway. But it sure would have been a fun week of feeds. I was kind of looking forward to watching Frankie freak the fook out. I wanna see him scramble, and cry, and plead, and scheme, and ultimately fail! I want me some good BB!!!
The way things are going it may never happen. This week's double eviction might be our only hope. But double evictions are tricky. The hg's are all hyped up and go into panic mode. They get freaked out at the idea of making a big move that they might have to pay for 20 minutes later. Will anybody have the guts to nom Frankie? They are all talking big talk right now, but I doubt any of them will do it. I feel a cranky coming on!
Meanwhile, Frankie is giving Caleb some social media mogul advice. Today Caleb gets to do his HOH blog and tweets. Frankie tells Caleb to blog about him! What a great idea! Caleb can blog about how he was considering putting Frankie on the block, but then made the best decision of his life when he didn't do it! Blog about meeeeeeeeeee!!! Tweet about meeeeeeeeee!
Frankie is acting like it's no big deal that his alliance talked about backdooring him. I'm not buying it. Are you? I think that if Frankie wins either double evic HOH comp this week he will take his revenge on them in Grande style. We will be treated to a major production of the Frankie Show. If this happens, it will be both horrible and wonderful to behold.
And what is to become of Victoria? Does everyone secretly want to end up in a f2 with her? Is that the only winning strategy for BB16? And what about us? At this point in the game, do we loathe them all so completely that we want Victoria to make it to the end and win? Is this what we have come to?
Three more weeks till the finale. The real question is what will become of us? Will we make it to the end? This season is in such a sad state that the fans might just start yelling Utopia shout outs over the wall of the BB house! But we will miss it, because we'll all be over in Utopia signing up to join Red's Utopia State Of Freedom! Red FTW!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Even Alcohol Can't Save This Season!
Another mostly boring day of feeds. Frankie did not get picked to play in the POV comp, and this really pissed him off. He was absolutely livid! That was actually kind of fun to watch. He's been complaining all season about never getting picked for POV. Yesterday he kept saying that from here on in he is guaranteed to play. He said this a zillion, trillion, times! Was anybody listening? Nope!
They missed his secret coded message: "This is your last chance to backdoor me you silly people!" They just skipped right over that, and started whining about Victoria getting to play in this veto comp. They hate her lack of game play with a passion! A passion that blinds them to a big game move opportunity. Such a silly bunch of dodo heads!
Meanwhile, Christine wins the veto! This gives them the perfect chance to get Frankie out! It might be their last shot! Do they realize this? I don't think so. They talk about how paranoid he is. They list how he has thrown each of them under the bus. They think he can win just about any kind of comp. They all agree that he will probably turn on them as soon as he has the chance.
And then....and then.... they decide that Victoria should still go up as the replacement nom! Wow! What a genius plan! More thrilling game strategy brought to you by The-Best-Worst-Dodo-Head-Alliance-Ever!
Caleb is all about getting his alliance to final five. It doesn't seem to matter that this plan might ruin his game. Caleb wants to make BB history. He thinks getting them to final five will make them famous beyond his wildest dreams. Parades, limousines, recording contracts, and Oscar nominations all seem to hinge on this alliance making it to the final five.
Earlier, Caleb and Cody had made big plans for a night of drinking. I think they had leftover booze from the night before. As they were looking forward to their drunken evening, Frankie caused a twitter uproar by making a horrid suggestion concerning Victoria. I won't repeat it, but it was very crude and thoughtless. Frankie is showing his true nasty self more every day. I turned off the feeds at this point, I had to take a break and think happy thoughts.
8/30 2:21 pm cam 3/4
I tune in later in the evening and Cody is wearing a dinosaur costume as a punishment for being the first one out of the veto comp. Caleb, Cody, and Victoria are the only ones drinking. BB gives them another booze delivery and they all get pretty wasted. Caleb is so loaded he fell down the stairs. It looked like a pretty bad fall, but he's okay. Cody and Caleb have a drunken convo about a final three deal of Caleb/Cody/ Derrick. Outside in the hammock, Derrick listens to Frankie pitch a final three deal of Frankie/ Caleb/Derrick.
So here we are in the BB house with a booze delivery, a dino costume, final three deals left and right, and it's just no fun. They get more alcohol and I decide to go to bed? That's just crazy talk! Not a good sign when even a booze delivery can't save the night.
Have a Dorky Day!
They missed his secret coded message: "This is your last chance to backdoor me you silly people!" They just skipped right over that, and started whining about Victoria getting to play in this veto comp. They hate her lack of game play with a passion! A passion that blinds them to a big game move opportunity. Such a silly bunch of dodo heads!
Meanwhile, Christine wins the veto! This gives them the perfect chance to get Frankie out! It might be their last shot! Do they realize this? I don't think so. They talk about how paranoid he is. They list how he has thrown each of them under the bus. They think he can win just about any kind of comp. They all agree that he will probably turn on them as soon as he has the chance.
And then....and then.... they decide that Victoria should still go up as the replacement nom! Wow! What a genius plan! More thrilling game strategy brought to you by The-Best-Worst-Dodo-Head-Alliance-Ever!
Caleb is all about getting his alliance to final five. It doesn't seem to matter that this plan might ruin his game. Caleb wants to make BB history. He thinks getting them to final five will make them famous beyond his wildest dreams. Parades, limousines, recording contracts, and Oscar nominations all seem to hinge on this alliance making it to the final five.
Earlier, Caleb and Cody had made big plans for a night of drinking. I think they had leftover booze from the night before. As they were looking forward to their drunken evening, Frankie caused a twitter uproar by making a horrid suggestion concerning Victoria. I won't repeat it, but it was very crude and thoughtless. Frankie is showing his true nasty self more every day. I turned off the feeds at this point, I had to take a break and think happy thoughts.
8/30 2:21 pm cam 3/4
I tune in later in the evening and Cody is wearing a dinosaur costume as a punishment for being the first one out of the veto comp. Caleb, Cody, and Victoria are the only ones drinking. BB gives them another booze delivery and they all get pretty wasted. Caleb is so loaded he fell down the stairs. It looked like a pretty bad fall, but he's okay. Cody and Caleb have a drunken convo about a final three deal of Caleb/Cody/ Derrick. Outside in the hammock, Derrick listens to Frankie pitch a final three deal of Frankie/ Caleb/Derrick.
So here we are in the BB house with a booze delivery, a dino costume, final three deals left and right, and it's just no fun. They get more alcohol and I decide to go to bed? That's just crazy talk! Not a good sign when even a booze delivery can't save the night.
Have a Dorky Day!
Saturday, August 30, 2014
These Feeds Are No Fun!!
First of all, congratulations to all the voters on a job well done! Team America's last task was an overwhelming fail! How about them apples, Frankie? No apple pie for you!
Frankie is still raging about this fail. He says that people just aren't ready for a guy in drag on BB. Frankie, dahling, we have guys in drag on every single season of Big Brother. It's a basic staple of BB. Did you read your contract? I'm pretty sure it's in there. "When you get bored to tears in the house, one or more male cast members are required to dress up in drag."
Frankie has decided that he no longer has to play a "nice" game. This fail has given him permission to unleash his true nasty self. He doesn't care if he has haters! He is a famous superstar! People just hate him because he is so famous! He no longer cares what America thinks of him. He is weary of trying to please us. He. Is. Over. It!
Frankie, sweetie-dahling, we are over you! I keep switching cams every time you enter a room. I don't even want to turn the feeds on today, because I can't stand listening to you anymore. I might turn them on after the POV comp. Maybe, if Nicole wins POV, I won't mind watching your hissy fit reaction to another major fail.
Not much happening on the feeds anyway. Caleb as HOH is a big yawn so far. As agreed upon by the Best-Worst-Big-Bunch-Of-Meanies-Alliance-Ever, Caleb put Nicole on slop. He asked them all "Who has not been on slop at least twice?" Nobody spoke up. Well, Christine kinda pointed at Frankie, but Caleb wouldn't look at her.
Frankie has only done it once. But he can't be expected to be a Have Not again! He is a superstar! Pick Nicole! Nicole had gourmet meals prepared by five star chefs in the jury house! Hayden fed her caviar and champagne breakfasts every day! Pick Nicole! We want her weak and weary for the POV comp!
Derrick volunteered to be a Have Not. He said it was because he went for the $5,000 in the HOH comp. I suspect it was more strategic. This gives him plenty of time alone with Nicole in the Have Not room. If she wins POV, he can keep on her good side for next week. If she loses, he can work on securing her jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.
Aside from Nicole winning the POV, the only potential for exciting feeds this week is that the hgs have noticed that there are a lot of missing condoms. They are all getting curious. Frankie brings it up daily. I haven't heard anything from the night vision cam patrol about any hank panky. Have you?
Early in the season we had the the mystery of the missing condoms. The girls were pranking with condom water balloons and discovered 3 condoms were missing from the box. We haven't heard a peep about condoms since then.
Remember back then? At the beginning of our newbie season? When berzerker hgs roamed the house wreaking havoc? When a StalkMance could entertain us for hours? When Zach would finally wake up and set the monkeys loose? Back when the feeds were fun, and life was worth living? I fear those days are gone forever.
Have a Dorky Day!
Curious about the condoms? See my July 9 post: The Mystery Of The Missing Condoms
Frankie is still raging about this fail. He says that people just aren't ready for a guy in drag on BB. Frankie, dahling, we have guys in drag on every single season of Big Brother. It's a basic staple of BB. Did you read your contract? I'm pretty sure it's in there. "When you get bored to tears in the house, one or more male cast members are required to dress up in drag."
Frankie has decided that he no longer has to play a "nice" game. This fail has given him permission to unleash his true nasty self. He doesn't care if he has haters! He is a famous superstar! People just hate him because he is so famous! He no longer cares what America thinks of him. He is weary of trying to please us. He. Is. Over. It!
Frankie, sweetie-dahling, we are over you! I keep switching cams every time you enter a room. I don't even want to turn the feeds on today, because I can't stand listening to you anymore. I might turn them on after the POV comp. Maybe, if Nicole wins POV, I won't mind watching your hissy fit reaction to another major fail.
Not much happening on the feeds anyway. Caleb as HOH is a big yawn so far. As agreed upon by the Best-Worst-Big-Bunch-Of-Meanies-Alliance-Ever, Caleb put Nicole on slop. He asked them all "Who has not been on slop at least twice?" Nobody spoke up. Well, Christine kinda pointed at Frankie, but Caleb wouldn't look at her.
Frankie has only done it once. But he can't be expected to be a Have Not again! He is a superstar! Pick Nicole! Nicole had gourmet meals prepared by five star chefs in the jury house! Hayden fed her caviar and champagne breakfasts every day! Pick Nicole! We want her weak and weary for the POV comp!
Derrick volunteered to be a Have Not. He said it was because he went for the $5,000 in the HOH comp. I suspect it was more strategic. This gives him plenty of time alone with Nicole in the Have Not room. If she wins POV, he can keep on her good side for next week. If she loses, he can work on securing her jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.
Aside from Nicole winning the POV, the only potential for exciting feeds this week is that the hgs have noticed that there are a lot of missing condoms. They are all getting curious. Frankie brings it up daily. I haven't heard anything from the night vision cam patrol about any hank panky. Have you?
Early in the season we had the the mystery of the missing condoms. The girls were pranking with condom water balloons and discovered 3 condoms were missing from the box. We haven't heard a peep about condoms since then.
Remember back then? At the beginning of our newbie season? When berzerker hgs roamed the house wreaking havoc? When a StalkMance could entertain us for hours? When Zach would finally wake up and set the monkeys loose? Back when the feeds were fun, and life was worth living? I fear those days are gone forever.
Have a Dorky Day!
Curious about the condoms? See my July 9 post: The Mystery Of The Missing Condoms
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Game Talk Of The Flippity-Floppity Variety
You know the feeds are getting good when you start screaming "Listen to Caleb, he is absolutely right! You gotta listen to Caleb!" All of a sudden he is the voice of reason, and we sit up and pay attention. We spend so much time trying to avoid listening to him that it takes us by surprise every time.
About once a week Caleb's brain clears it's cache and cookies, and reboots to reveal a whole new Caleb. He has one rational thought after another. He spots the flaws in the plan of the moment, and comes up with a simple solution that might just be the better move. He is very calm and patient when he shares this information with his alliance. Caleb just all of a sudden starts making sense.
Last night sensible Caleb tried to get the guys to keep Donny and evict Nicole. Frankie and Derrick were up for it, but only if Cody said yes. Cody said no. No! No! No! He wants Donny gone! The discussion goes on, and they all flip-flop back and forth, except for Cody. Cody only kinda, sorta, maybe, flips one time. Then he flops back into saying "No!".
If only Derrick had given his permission for game talk 6 days ago, we might have had a great week of feeds. Derrick nipped all the buds that could have blossomed into game talk the night Nicole came back into the house. Then he spent the week setting himself up just in case it ever came to this discussion. He let's Caleb and Cody do most of the talking. He pipes in now and then to clarify, or confuse, whichever is called for. He is prepared for whatever they decide.
Frankie is mostly quiet too. He really wants Nicole to go. He is trying to play it cool, but it's obvious he is getting agitated. He and Derrick work together to let Caleb and Cody think that they are making this decision themselves.
Together in the HOH, they all say they will go with the group. Individually, to each other and to the cameras, they say they have to look out for themselves. Frankie acts really pissed, but pretends to be fine with whatever they decide. Derrick does his thing, and sets himself up to be the good guy no matter what the final decision is. Derrick is tricky that way.
Caleb's brain cache is now on overload and he is slipping back into BeastMode. "Whatever, dude! It don't matter who goes home! We are gonna win all the comps from here to infinity anyhow!" So it looks like Donny is still going home.
While all this flip-flopping was going on, Team America learned that Julie Chen will use a secret code to tell them if we voted for their most recent task to win or fail. During tonight's live show she will ask one of them what Have Not food they would most like to have next week. They will answer "Apple pie!". If they have succeeded, she will say "Wish granted."
If they have failed, she will say "Frankie and Derrick you suck, that stupid play sucked, and the whole Team America twist really, really sucks!!"
I was very tired when I finally went to bed last night, but I am pretty sure I got that last part right. I am most likely suffering from BB Brain Mush. I better clear my brain cache and reboot.
Have A Dorky Day!
About once a week Caleb's brain clears it's cache and cookies, and reboots to reveal a whole new Caleb. He has one rational thought after another. He spots the flaws in the plan of the moment, and comes up with a simple solution that might just be the better move. He is very calm and patient when he shares this information with his alliance. Caleb just all of a sudden starts making sense.
Last night sensible Caleb tried to get the guys to keep Donny and evict Nicole. Frankie and Derrick were up for it, but only if Cody said yes. Cody said no. No! No! No! He wants Donny gone! The discussion goes on, and they all flip-flop back and forth, except for Cody. Cody only kinda, sorta, maybe, flips one time. Then he flops back into saying "No!".
If only Derrick had given his permission for game talk 6 days ago, we might have had a great week of feeds. Derrick nipped all the buds that could have blossomed into game talk the night Nicole came back into the house. Then he spent the week setting himself up just in case it ever came to this discussion. He let's Caleb and Cody do most of the talking. He pipes in now and then to clarify, or confuse, whichever is called for. He is prepared for whatever they decide.
Frankie is mostly quiet too. He really wants Nicole to go. He is trying to play it cool, but it's obvious he is getting agitated. He and Derrick work together to let Caleb and Cody think that they are making this decision themselves.
Together in the HOH, they all say they will go with the group. Individually, to each other and to the cameras, they say they have to look out for themselves. Frankie acts really pissed, but pretends to be fine with whatever they decide. Derrick does his thing, and sets himself up to be the good guy no matter what the final decision is. Derrick is tricky that way.
Caleb's brain cache is now on overload and he is slipping back into BeastMode. "Whatever, dude! It don't matter who goes home! We are gonna win all the comps from here to infinity anyhow!" So it looks like Donny is still going home.
While all this flip-flopping was going on, Team America learned that Julie Chen will use a secret code to tell them if we voted for their most recent task to win or fail. During tonight's live show she will ask one of them what Have Not food they would most like to have next week. They will answer "Apple pie!". If they have succeeded, she will say "Wish granted."
If they have failed, she will say "Frankie and Derrick you suck, that stupid play sucked, and the whole Team America twist really, really sucks!!"
I was very tired when I finally went to bed last night, but I am pretty sure I got that last part right. I am most likely suffering from BB Brain Mush. I better clear my brain cache and reboot.
Have A Dorky Day!
Monday, August 25, 2014
Team America Bombs On Broadway
BB Broadway was a bomb! Frankie and Derrick were the only ones in costume. Well, Caleb might have been in costume with his bandanna cap. It's hard to tell with him, because he will take just about anything and wrap it around his head. He definitely was not in drag. Dang it all, that's the only reason I tuned in to watch!
8/24 9:00 p.m. all cams
8/24 9:00 p.m. all cams
I still don't get why Frankie kept calling it a Broadway play. It just looked like a regular night in the BB house. Peeps sitting around imitating former house guests. Nothing Broadway about that.
There were some funny moments, with everyone doing pretty poor imitations of evicted hgs. The girls had some fun with it. Derrick and Caleb were terrible. Frankie was almost funny, but not quite. Donny was the star of the show! His impersonation of Devin was hilarious.! He nailed it!
There were some funny moments, with everyone doing pretty poor imitations of evicted hgs. The girls had some fun with it. Derrick and Caleb were terrible. Frankie was almost funny, but not quite. Donny was the star of the show! His impersonation of Devin was hilarious.! He nailed it!
Overall, it was a dreadful performance. It was mostly bearable, until Frankie did an encore. Then we had five long minutes of misery as Frankie took center stage. He was in character as Consuela, who I think is supposed to be his Brazillan housekeeper. It's one of his many characters that we have been subjected to all season.
He said this piece was from "the show", which would indicate he has previously performed this monologue for an audience. Obviously, an audience of a completely different sort than the people in the room last night, because this audience just didn't get it. It made them very uncomfortable.
He said this piece was from "the show", which would indicate he has previously performed this monologue for an audience. Obviously, an audience of a completely different sort than the people in the room last night, because this audience just didn't get it. It made them very uncomfortable.
And then, as it goes with most things on BB16, it got even more uncomfortable! Caleb got up and did a really, really, really, bad monologue. He was in character as some kind of psycho thug in the penitentiary. It was awful! The hgs just stared at him. Frankie's mouth was hanging open, and he was in shock. This wasn't Caleb joining in the fun to have a few laughs. This was Caleb acting!
Once again, Caleb has chosen the absolute worst material to use in yet another discover-me-now live feeds audition. It was horrible! All about stabbings, and killings, and punchings, and all kinds of dreadful things. Derrick looked miserable, like he was kissing $5,000 goodbye in his mind.
Once again, Caleb has chosen the absolute worst material to use in yet another discover-me-now live feeds audition. It was horrible! All about stabbings, and killings, and punchings, and all kinds of dreadful things. Derrick looked miserable, like he was kissing $5,000 goodbye in his mind.
Caleb switches characters mid sentence and becomes Tater, his hillbilly goofball character. Tater is mildly amusing, and mostly offensive. But at least we aren't in prison with a crazy man anymore. Frankie starts prompting Tater with questions, trying to get control of the situation. It's sort of funny for a few minutes, and then Frankie does something terrible.
He was asking Tater about his family, brothers, sisters, babies, etc. Tater's answers are confusing, and Frankie is trying to get Caleb to focus on the funny. And he asks Tater if his sisters have all of their limbs. WTF? He is sitting in a room with Donny, whose brother has no arms! What kind of let's-have-fun-and-put-on-a-play question is that?
I can't believe that Frankie didn't realize what he was saying. His questions were slow and calculated. But why would he say that on purpose? It was just awful. Why would you say something like this in the middle of a stupid task that you know is airing on BBAD? Team America better not get any money for this task. It was a major fail.
I usually end the post with something humorous. Something light, to leave you feeling good about Big Brother, no matter what fresh nonsense is going on in the feeds. But today I just can't get it up. I'm feeling all cranky and grumbly about Frankie and Team America. I just wish that Caleb had come in drag. I think that BeastMode Drag Queen really could have saved the day!
Have A Dorky Day!
Note: Donny's brother is missing one arm, and his other arm stops before the elbow with an incomplete hand.
I can't believe that Frankie didn't realize what he was saying. His questions were slow and calculated. But why would he say that on purpose? It was just awful. Why would you say something like this in the middle of a stupid task that you know is airing on BBAD? Team America better not get any money for this task. It was a major fail.
I usually end the post with something humorous. Something light, to leave you feeling good about Big Brother, no matter what fresh nonsense is going on in the feeds. But today I just can't get it up. I'm feeling all cranky and grumbly about Frankie and Team America. I just wish that Caleb had come in drag. I think that BeastMode Drag Queen really could have saved the day!
Have A Dorky Day!
Note: Donny's brother is missing one arm, and his other arm stops before the elbow with an incomplete hand.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Team America: The Broadway Show!
Nothing much happened on the feeds yesterday. Victoria fainted due to dehydration and pain from her wisdom teeth. She was whisked away to receive some IV treatment and is looking much better now. Cody won the POV comp. His alliance threw it to him in a great team effort to keep Donny on the block. This win could not have come at a better time. Just yesterday, Caleb revealed that Donny was the former head of the CIA! Donny is dangerous, and he needs to go!
The only other item of interest yesterday was the new Team America task. Donny told Frankie and Derrick that they had to make up their own mission, and then America will vote on whether it was a success or failure. This task must be completed before the Veto meeting on Monday. Donny suggests that they save someone from the block. Like maybe save him from the block. Because America would want them to stay together!
Oh Donny! This is so sad. It was so very painful to watch. I suppose it's good that he is still fighting. But this idea is slammed down faster than any other input he has given them on the TA tasks. This idea also has twitter all a'flutter with people saying that Donny has created a fake task to save himself.
It's a weird task for sure. But I think Donny has more respect for the rules, and America, than to use production as a strategy. Plus, they all talk to the dr about the missions, so it would be discovered as a fake soon enough. I think it's a real task.
Real or not, it will soon cause us all to suffer through an amped up Broadway version of Frankie, as the self appointed leader of this mission.
Frankie wants to put on a show! A Broadway show! And they can all impersonate other hgs! And Caleb can dress up in drag! And Frankie can write, direct, produce, and take all the credit for this task! And Ariana's fans will surely vote for them to win the money!
As I listen to Frankie and Derrick figure out the details for this mission, I am getting more cranky by the minute. This is not a mission! This is what hgs do on Big Brother every season! They impersonate other hgs. They put on some kind of stupid fashion show, or wedding, or beauty pageant. And every year the guys dress up in drag.
It's what you do when you are on BB and you are bored out of your mind. It's what you do if you crave camera time, and want to show off your special talent for being obnoxious! Why should Team America earn $5,000 each for something the hgs do every year for free?
Well, I am sure that Frankie will explain to the cameras how this is the best show in the history of BB. He has timed it to take place during BBAD. He has mentioned his sister's fans enough to get her attention, so that she can command them to vote for TA to win the money. He has already ruined the next 24 hours of feeds for me, and they haven't even started rehearsing yet!
Frankie and Derrick want us to believe that this task is all about giving Donny another $5,000 before he leaves the house. Donny has become Team America's schools in Africa. My cranky meter is about to blow!!!
Oh well. Maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the show. I'm sure there will be some silliness while the hgs perfect their characters, and practice their dance moves. Caleb in drag could turn out to be his best costume for the day ever! BeastMode Drag Queen might just save the day!
Have a Dorky Day!
The only other item of interest yesterday was the new Team America task. Donny told Frankie and Derrick that they had to make up their own mission, and then America will vote on whether it was a success or failure. This task must be completed before the Veto meeting on Monday. Donny suggests that they save someone from the block. Like maybe save him from the block. Because America would want them to stay together!
Oh Donny! This is so sad. It was so very painful to watch. I suppose it's good that he is still fighting. But this idea is slammed down faster than any other input he has given them on the TA tasks. This idea also has twitter all a'flutter with people saying that Donny has created a fake task to save himself.
It's a weird task for sure. But I think Donny has more respect for the rules, and America, than to use production as a strategy. Plus, they all talk to the dr about the missions, so it would be discovered as a fake soon enough. I think it's a real task.
Real or not, it will soon cause us all to suffer through an amped up Broadway version of Frankie, as the self appointed leader of this mission.
Frankie wants to put on a show! A Broadway show! And they can all impersonate other hgs! And Caleb can dress up in drag! And Frankie can write, direct, produce, and take all the credit for this task! And Ariana's fans will surely vote for them to win the money!
As I listen to Frankie and Derrick figure out the details for this mission, I am getting more cranky by the minute. This is not a mission! This is what hgs do on Big Brother every season! They impersonate other hgs. They put on some kind of stupid fashion show, or wedding, or beauty pageant. And every year the guys dress up in drag.
It's what you do when you are on BB and you are bored out of your mind. It's what you do if you crave camera time, and want to show off your special talent for being obnoxious! Why should Team America earn $5,000 each for something the hgs do every year for free?
Well, I am sure that Frankie will explain to the cameras how this is the best show in the history of BB. He has timed it to take place during BBAD. He has mentioned his sister's fans enough to get her attention, so that she can command them to vote for TA to win the money. He has already ruined the next 24 hours of feeds for me, and they haven't even started rehearsing yet!
Frankie and Derrick want us to believe that this task is all about giving Donny another $5,000 before he leaves the house. Donny has become Team America's schools in Africa. My cranky meter is about to blow!!!
Oh well. Maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the show. I'm sure there will be some silliness while the hgs perfect their characters, and practice their dance moves. Caleb in drag could turn out to be his best costume for the day ever! BeastMode Drag Queen might just save the day!
Have a Dorky Day!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Caleb Is 150% Sure That Donny Is A Dadgum Genius!
Yesterday, Caleb gathered more intel on Donny, the most dangerous Big Brother player in all the land. Caleb has had Donny under surveillance for most of this season. It was Caleb who discovered that Donny was ex-military, just by looking at his hairless ankles. Donny claims the hairs were rubbed off by his tall socks. Caleb informed his alliance that hairless ankles are a sure sign that Donny is ex-military. Caleb was the first to blow Donny's cover. And he's been on the case ever since.
They all agree that Donny has been lying about his occupation. Hours upon hours have been spent speculating on his true identity. The speculation has reached a new frenzy now that there are only 8 players left. And yesterday, Caleb revealed startling new evidence against Donny.
Are you ready for it? It's really big! Shocking! Conclusive! Mind blowing!
Donny ate a Sour Patch Kids candy! Caleb saw it! Caleb was there! And Donny said it reminded him of the good old days! And that right there proves he was in the military! Mind blowing! My mind is blown, isn't yours? My mind was so blown that I completely forgot to check the time on this convo, sorry about that.
Caleb told Cody and Derrick that in the army they give you MRE's, Meals Ready To Eat. And in the MRE packet there is always a piece of candy. A piece of sour candy! And Donny was sucking on that Sour Patch candy, saying how it reminded him of old times, and Caleb was right there when he said it! And when he said "old times" he looked right into Caleb's eyes, like he was telling him something! And Caleb knew, because Caleb is military too!
But wait! There's more! Later on, in the living room, Caleb reveals more proof of Donny's secret life as a military genius. Caleb was watching Donny earlier, and Donny was all fidgety, and his eyes, his eyes! Caleb saw Donny make squares with his eyes! Donny was looking at that square pattern up on the ceiling, and his eyes were making squares!!!
This proves that Donny is a genius! Because sometimes, when you are so genius, so smart, you have to be thinking even when you are not thinking! And making squares with your eyes is a sure sign you are thinking and not thinking at the same time!!!
While Derrick and Cody are listening to this, you can see that they are thinking that Caleb is completely koo-koo! You can tell they are trying so hard not to laugh. But they don't laugh! Nope!
They are members of the Best-Worst -Alliance ever, and they act accordingly. They jump right in and list all the other signs that point to Donny being an evil genius military mastermind. The camouflage clothing, the early bedtime and early wake up, the use of large words, his use of medical terms, his beard, his eating habits, his cricket whistle, etc.
Caleb lays one more piece of evidence on them. It turns out that Donny has been using OCD as a cover to hide his military intelligence training. The way that Donny packs his drawers, and lines up his belongings on the nightstand, reveals that he is either military intelligence or a weapons designer! This is actually old intel, but when you add this to the Sour Patch Kids evidence, it is obvious that Donny is a Secret Military Weapons Master!
8/22 4:48 p.m. cam 1-2
Caleb is going to stay on the case. His goal is to get Donny to confess everything. He already informed Donny that he was onto him. He told Donny "You are a genius, and you are making the rest of us look stupid!" And Donny didn't even deny it! Did not deny it at all! He just said "I appreciate that." So, there you go, he is 100% a dadgum genius!
Have a Dorky Day!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Bomb Squad: The Best Worst Alliance Ever!
Wow! The Bomb Squad caught Donny talking game! They are so smart! Nothing gets past them. They also caught him looking at the HOH spy screen when he was up in the HOH with them! He actually looked at the screen! How dare him!! Plus, they figured out that Zach and Donny have had an alliance from day one! I didn't know that! Did you know that?
Cody knew that! He told them all a long time ago:
Cody: Remember when I said Donny was dangerous?
Bomb Squad: Um..yeah..well..no...
Cody: Yeah, I said it! I remember! I think I said it! Did I say it?
Bomb Squad: Well..um..maybe..yeah, you probably did say that!
Cody: Maybe I thought I said it, but really only thought it.
Bomb Squad: Well, you definitely thought it dude!
Cody: And I said the same thing about Zach! I know for sure I thought it.
Bomb Squad: I think we saw you thinking one day!
Cody: And then I thought, those two are working together!
Bomb Squad: Yeah, you do think out loud sometimes, dude.
Cody: I knew it!
So, Cody is a BB genius! And so is Caleb! Caleb went into CreepMode yesterday and did his sneaky slithering thing up on the balcony outside HOH. And he heard Zach and Donny say things. Very important things! He heard Donny say that everyone was shunning him! He also heard Zach tell him that there never was an orange Skittle for Donny in the drawing for noms! That proves everything! They are in an alliance!
A very powerful super-alliance that consists of one hg sure to be evicted tomorrow, and another hg who has absolutely no one to work with in this game. They immediately go to code red alert! They jump up and down and start fighting over who gets to call Donny out!
Cody really wants to do it. He wants to call him out right NOW! Or maybe tomorrow? That might be better. Or after the HOH? What do you think? Or better yet after the POV. Yes, that's it. After the POV, Cody is pretty sure he will most likely be calling Donny out!
While Cody is looking for his day planner to pencil in the calling out, Derrick is fuming and sputtering about his own calling out plans. Donny told Christine that if he wins the HOH he will choose noms from a bag of M&M's. Derrick swears, on his daughters life, that he will smack that bag of M&M's out of Donny's hand if he dares to do that! How insulting to use M&M's for noms! Donny is a mad man! Doesn't he know that Skittles are the only BB approved nom candies?
Meanwhile, Victoria is jealous of all the time Derrick has been spending with Christine. And Cody is jealous of this too! And there was one whole hour yesterday when Cody had to play with his hair himself, because Christine and Victoria were busy spending time together. Dude, that's just wrong!
Frankie wants everyone to make Zach tell them his Donny secrets. Make him spill his Donny beans. But first, he wants to go cook another fish. He leaves the bean spilling details to his trusty alliance.
The Bomb Squad. The absolute Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history.
Have A Dorky Day!
Cody knew that! He told them all a long time ago:
Cody: Remember when I said Donny was dangerous?
Bomb Squad: Um..yeah..well..no...
Cody: Yeah, I said it! I remember! I think I said it! Did I say it?
Bomb Squad: Well..um..maybe..yeah, you probably did say that!
Cody: Maybe I thought I said it, but really only thought it.
Bomb Squad: Well, you definitely thought it dude!
Cody: And I said the same thing about Zach! I know for sure I thought it.
Bomb Squad: I think we saw you thinking one day!
Cody: And then I thought, those two are working together!
Bomb Squad: Yeah, you do think out loud sometimes, dude.
Cody: I knew it!
So, Cody is a BB genius! And so is Caleb! Caleb went into CreepMode yesterday and did his sneaky slithering thing up on the balcony outside HOH. And he heard Zach and Donny say things. Very important things! He heard Donny say that everyone was shunning him! He also heard Zach tell him that there never was an orange Skittle for Donny in the drawing for noms! That proves everything! They are in an alliance!
A very powerful super-alliance that consists of one hg sure to be evicted tomorrow, and another hg who has absolutely no one to work with in this game. They immediately go to code red alert! They jump up and down and start fighting over who gets to call Donny out!
Cody really wants to do it. He wants to call him out right NOW! Or maybe tomorrow? That might be better. Or after the HOH? What do you think? Or better yet after the POV. Yes, that's it. After the POV, Cody is pretty sure he will most likely be calling Donny out!
While Cody is looking for his day planner to pencil in the calling out, Derrick is fuming and sputtering about his own calling out plans. Donny told Christine that if he wins the HOH he will choose noms from a bag of M&M's. Derrick swears, on his daughters life, that he will smack that bag of M&M's out of Donny's hand if he dares to do that! How insulting to use M&M's for noms! Donny is a mad man! Doesn't he know that Skittles are the only BB approved nom candies?
Meanwhile, Victoria is jealous of all the time Derrick has been spending with Christine. And Cody is jealous of this too! And there was one whole hour yesterday when Cody had to play with his hair himself, because Christine and Victoria were busy spending time together. Dude, that's just wrong!
Frankie wants everyone to make Zach tell them his Donny secrets. Make him spill his Donny beans. But first, he wants to go cook another fish. He leaves the bean spilling details to his trusty alliance.
The Bomb Squad. The absolute Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history.
Have A Dorky Day!
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
#PinkHatProject
Yesterday was another mostly lazy day on the feeds. Derrick was working everyone, in his own lazy way. Hey dude! While we are sitting here just enjoying an easy week, let me plant some seeds in the fertile ground of your bored-to-tears brain. He broke down the big picture for each house guest. He had a slightly different big picture for each of them. Derrick is tricky that way.
Zach was trying his best to see this big picture. He wants to know just how big is this big picture? And where is it hiding? Who is in charge of this big picture? Zach tried to paint his own big picture for them, but nobody showed any interest.
Donny and Zach had a few good convos about working together if Zach comes back in the house after he is evicted. It was kind of exciting to think it could happen, and kind of sad because it probably won't. They both seemed to be speaking the truth to each other.
Frankie and Cody had a convo about being super close, and super tight, and super bff's. And nobody even suspects that they are super-duper working together! Frankie fed Cody some more super lies, and Cody thought they were super delicious. It was a really super convo.
Cody and Christine may have talked game, but I cannot watch them anymore, so if they did I missed it. Caleb, Derrick, and Frankie had a long convo about Cody and Christine being so close even after the Zings they got from Zingbot. Caleb seems very concerned about this. He deems it inappropriate. BeastMode Bunny Slippers, newly released from StalkMance Rehab, is deeply offended by their unseemly behavior.
Victoria and Christine talked about how Donny is an evil, conniving, pervert. They seemed focused on the pervert part. Seriously? They are living in a house with guys who hump each other every five minutes, have running gags about balls and holes, share daily reports on Jack Shack activities, and Donny is the perv?
Victoria spent most of the day obsessing about the symbolism of the shredded pink hat. She hopes that her parents are proud of her for taking a knife to that hat. Her own hat, her own property, which she gave to Zach and then took back. She really wants him to go berzerkers about that hat. Her eyes get all dreamy when she thinks about it.
The Shredding Of The Pink Hat has had a galvanizing effect on live feeders. Up until the shredding, most of us were hoping that the pink hat would meet a fiery death in that comp where the hgs each have to burn one article of clothing. We hated that hat. Zach fidgeted with that hat all the time. That hat was the pink cherry on the cake of his ridiculous daily attire.
But now, fickle feeders that we are, we take the hat shredding and we create our own symbolism. We form our own Pink Hat Alliance and spread the word far and wide. We send pink hat care packages to live feeders on the West Coast, so that they can throw them over the wall of the BB back yard, to show our Zach love!
#PinkHatProject will soon be trending world wide. If even one pink hat sails over that wall to land at Zach's feet, we will have done our part to create a whole new level of paranoia in that BB house! And if Victoria so much as looks at that pink hat sideways, we will implement #OperationBlackCrow, and she will be carried away to a land where no princess has ever gone before!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Zach was trying his best to see this big picture. He wants to know just how big is this big picture? And where is it hiding? Who is in charge of this big picture? Zach tried to paint his own big picture for them, but nobody showed any interest.
Donny and Zach had a few good convos about working together if Zach comes back in the house after he is evicted. It was kind of exciting to think it could happen, and kind of sad because it probably won't. They both seemed to be speaking the truth to each other.
Frankie and Cody had a convo about being super close, and super tight, and super bff's. And nobody even suspects that they are super-duper working together! Frankie fed Cody some more super lies, and Cody thought they were super delicious. It was a really super convo.
Cody and Christine may have talked game, but I cannot watch them anymore, so if they did I missed it. Caleb, Derrick, and Frankie had a long convo about Cody and Christine being so close even after the Zings they got from Zingbot. Caleb seems very concerned about this. He deems it inappropriate. BeastMode Bunny Slippers, newly released from StalkMance Rehab, is deeply offended by their unseemly behavior.
Victoria and Christine talked about how Donny is an evil, conniving, pervert. They seemed focused on the pervert part. Seriously? They are living in a house with guys who hump each other every five minutes, have running gags about balls and holes, share daily reports on Jack Shack activities, and Donny is the perv?
Victoria spent most of the day obsessing about the symbolism of the shredded pink hat. She hopes that her parents are proud of her for taking a knife to that hat. Her own hat, her own property, which she gave to Zach and then took back. She really wants him to go berzerkers about that hat. Her eyes get all dreamy when she thinks about it.
The Shredding Of The Pink Hat has had a galvanizing effect on live feeders. Up until the shredding, most of us were hoping that the pink hat would meet a fiery death in that comp where the hgs each have to burn one article of clothing. We hated that hat. Zach fidgeted with that hat all the time. That hat was the pink cherry on the cake of his ridiculous daily attire.
But now, fickle feeders that we are, we take the hat shredding and we create our own symbolism. We form our own Pink Hat Alliance and spread the word far and wide. We send pink hat care packages to live feeders on the West Coast, so that they can throw them over the wall of the BB back yard, to show our Zach love!
#PinkHatProject will soon be trending world wide. If even one pink hat sails over that wall to land at Zach's feet, we will have done our part to create a whole new level of paranoia in that BB house! And if Victoria so much as looks at that pink hat sideways, we will implement #OperationBlackCrow, and she will be carried away to a land where no princess has ever gone before!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Monday, August 18, 2014
Where Is That Damn Rule Book?
What can I say? Team America finally gets a fun task, and they twist it to make Zach the target once again. They must steal a piece of clothing from each hg and form a neighborhood watch to patrol the house for 24 hours. It's great fun to see the hgs go crazy trying to find all the things that Team America has hidden. The patrol uniforms are hilarious. Frankie's patrol songs are annoyingly loud but still kind of fun. Caleb is a little scary though. He is following Victoria around, up close and personal. I keep expecting him to give her a chest bump. BeastMode Bully at your service, ma'am.
Zach is climbing on the furniture wondering who the hell set the monkeys loose. Last thing he knew, the monkeys were safely locked up until he needed them. Now the monkeys have been set free by persons unknown, and he is getting blamed for it. Some serious monkey business is going down!
But it's no fun watching Frankie and Derrick try to ruin Zach's game one more time. They are only too happy to blame Zach for the missing items. Then Frankie begins his own secret mission to convince everyone that Zach has been a saboteur all along. And that he has been making piles of money while trying to sabotage them all! It's the thought of Zach making money from his mischief that really makes everyone mad.
It's all about not getting blood on his hands. Frankie will now be the hero for getting the saboteur out of the game! Frankie even blames Zach for forcing them to use Skittles to choose noms. It's all Zach's fault for not volunteering to go on the block to throw the BOB. Those Skittles are proof positive that Zach is the saboteur!
Out in the back yard, Zach has an attack of monkey fever. He steals the cue ball, and hides it in the bathroom. Zach, you silly monkey butt! You are hopeless! Doomed! You have zillions of fans rooting for you right now! Even Frankie's superstar sister is tweeting mind control messages to Frankie to keep you safe!
Caleb and Cody, on patrol in their Chippendales costumes, find the missing cue ball, and the lynch mob is now victorious. That cue ball has sealed Zach's fate. Then the missing items are discovered. The hgs celebrate for a bit, and then it's back to patrolling the house. Most of the patrolling focuses on Zach. They patrol him up one side and down the other. They patrol him up the wazoo.
Frankie and Caleb take Zach up into the HOH to tell him he will be going on the block. Frankie takes every opportunity to tell Zach that everybody wants him out. He repeats this over and over as he lists all the reasons Zach must go.Frankie very clearly says that he will be putting Zach up as the replacement nom.
This is against the rules. People do it all the time, but it's usually not this obvious.. Does Frankie have a secret plan to get caught breaking this rule? Does he want it to appear that he has no choice but to nom someone else? Someone like Derrick perhaps? Is Frankie that smart? Is it even a possibility that production would enforce this rule? Of course not.
Zach, our little monkey mischief maker, seems to take this news pretty well. He agrees that it's the best move for Frankie to nom him. He encourages him to nom him. Why waste an HOH getting Victoria out of the house? She isn't even playing the game dude, you gotta nominate me!
Meanwhile, Victoria is convinced she is the best BB player in the house, because she said that Zach was a saboteur week two!!! She knew it all along! She has this game all figured out! "OMG you guys, I am smarter than all of you!"
The neighborhood watch soldiers on. The duty roster is posted. For Team America's task to succeed they must have a pair of hgs on watch at all times for 24 hours. This pair cannot be two TA members. And they can't just lay around, they have to actively patrol. Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, the watch falls apart, and we have a solitary guard just sitting there.
Around this time twitter goes crazy with cries of foul play. Frankie broke the rules by telling Zach he is going up!!! This rule is broken every week, but now people.want production to wake up and dispense punishment! Plus, Team America did not complete it's task, because there were solitary guards who didn't even patrol!!! Where is the rule book? Live feeders everywhere are demanding justice!
People really want Frankie to get a spankie! And they don't want Team America to get any money for this task. I don't either. I say give it to the monkeys, and set them free for good.
Have a Dorky Day!
Monday, August 11, 2014
The Night Of The Living Bomb Squad
Just when you think it's deader than dead, the Bomb Squad arises from the grave to wreak havoc on the house once again. The alliance of eight is down to six in it's newly resurrected form. Christine, the current HOH, has been welcomed back into the squad to perform various nefarious deeds.
Last night the guys decided that Nicole was their next target. Actually, she is their fourth target this week. Two of the first three were members of the Bomb Squad, Frankie and Christine. But let's just forget about all that nonsense and work together for a new, and better, final six. And while we're at it, let's blame Nicole for the first two targets!
Christine lounges in her bird nest bed while holding court. Earlier in the evening she had informed Victoria that she would be the replacement nom, and Donny was the target. This was the plan for target number three. Donny was considered the biggest threat in all the land right up until Christine, Frankie, and Caleb returned from their football field trip.
It turns out that Frankie was a little cranky during the football luxury. He didn't like all the rules production had for a visit to the outside world. He demanded coffee and all kinds of things a diva needs when traveling incognito to a VIP venue. He complained all day about how much he hated everyone in the house. He was so glad to get away from them! Kiss-kiss! Love you!!!
And he seems extra cranky that Caleb got shout outs from the crowd and he didn't! Frankie is the famous mogul-o-maniac! He is the one with a superstar sister! Enough with the BeastMode Cowboy fans, where are his legions of followers?
Caleb and Frankie were supposed to work on Christine about noms while they were off having fun. Feeling her out about Nichole and Victoria as replacement noms. Gently guiding her to one of the girls to ensure that none of the guys go up. But they returned from the trip with the news that they were not allowed to talk game at all. This sounds mighty suspicious, but even Caleb says it's true, so the guys are believing it for now.
Frankie is tired, and just wants to nap in the HOH room. The one he claimed after he won the BOB all by himself. But the no game talk rule today means that Frankie can't just go right to sleep now that he's back in the BB house. He has work to do. This makes him a wee bit more grumpy.
Franky puts his cranky pants on and corners Nicole in the hive room. He still has his tits in an uproar after hearing that Nicole repeated something he said about Victoria. Something that he denies ever saying. Something that he considers vile, and horrible, and vicious, even though he actually did say it.
He told Christine that he would have Victoria in his pocket after he reels her in with his sister. Christine told Nicole, and Nicole told Victoria. Caleb heard her and told Frankie. And Frankie has spun this into a plot to get Nicole out of the house on the grounds of being pure evil.
Nicole does not want to be alone in a room with Frankie. Frankie expects to shame her, blame her, and then make nice and get her on his side. But Nicole is not having this. She gets out of that room as fast as she can. Frankie is taken by surprise by her quick escape. That talk sure didn't go according to plan. While we are all rooting for Nicole after she stands up to Frankie, we are certain sure that this has sealed her fate as the replacement nom.
Derrick has been working his crew to set the plan in motion to get Nicole nommed. Frankie is now fully committed to this plan. Hours ago he announced that he should stay out of it, and let Caleb and Zach do all the work. But, after his brainwashing session with Nicole went kablooey, he races upstairs to set Christine up for the unveiling of the new target.
An hour later the mission to evict Nicole is official. All systems go. The Bomb Squad is reborn! Let's not talk about how they cannibalized their own by evicting Devon and Amber. Don't focus on the fact that they have all targeted each other numerous times in the last few weeks, not to mention the past 72 hours. We won't dwell on how many times the squad, and it's many sub-alliances, have been outed to the entire house.
The zombie remnants of the Bomb Squad breathes in the pink light of forgetfulness. When their minds wander, and they have bad thoughts about Frankie having already won America's Favorite Player, they focus on their happy place. They release all negative energy about those damn schools in Africa.
They avert their eyes when Christine goes to sleep in the rock room, leaving Frankie to sleep in the HOH in solitary luxury. They all drift of to bed, to dream the dreams of the living dead. They are the now officially the Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history!
Have a Dorky Day!
Last night the guys decided that Nicole was their next target. Actually, she is their fourth target this week. Two of the first three were members of the Bomb Squad, Frankie and Christine. But let's just forget about all that nonsense and work together for a new, and better, final six. And while we're at it, let's blame Nicole for the first two targets!
Christine lounges in her bird nest bed while holding court. Earlier in the evening she had informed Victoria that she would be the replacement nom, and Donny was the target. This was the plan for target number three. Donny was considered the biggest threat in all the land right up until Christine, Frankie, and Caleb returned from their football field trip.
It turns out that Frankie was a little cranky during the football luxury. He didn't like all the rules production had for a visit to the outside world. He demanded coffee and all kinds of things a diva needs when traveling incognito to a VIP venue. He complained all day about how much he hated everyone in the house. He was so glad to get away from them! Kiss-kiss! Love you!!!
And he seems extra cranky that Caleb got shout outs from the crowd and he didn't! Frankie is the famous mogul-o-maniac! He is the one with a superstar sister! Enough with the BeastMode Cowboy fans, where are his legions of followers?
Caleb and Frankie were supposed to work on Christine about noms while they were off having fun. Feeling her out about Nichole and Victoria as replacement noms. Gently guiding her to one of the girls to ensure that none of the guys go up. But they returned from the trip with the news that they were not allowed to talk game at all. This sounds mighty suspicious, but even Caleb says it's true, so the guys are believing it for now.
Frankie is tired, and just wants to nap in the HOH room. The one he claimed after he won the BOB all by himself. But the no game talk rule today means that Frankie can't just go right to sleep now that he's back in the BB house. He has work to do. This makes him a wee bit more grumpy.
Franky puts his cranky pants on and corners Nicole in the hive room. He still has his tits in an uproar after hearing that Nicole repeated something he said about Victoria. Something that he denies ever saying. Something that he considers vile, and horrible, and vicious, even though he actually did say it.
He told Christine that he would have Victoria in his pocket after he reels her in with his sister. Christine told Nicole, and Nicole told Victoria. Caleb heard her and told Frankie. And Frankie has spun this into a plot to get Nicole out of the house on the grounds of being pure evil.
Nicole does not want to be alone in a room with Frankie. Frankie expects to shame her, blame her, and then make nice and get her on his side. But Nicole is not having this. She gets out of that room as fast as she can. Frankie is taken by surprise by her quick escape. That talk sure didn't go according to plan. While we are all rooting for Nicole after she stands up to Frankie, we are certain sure that this has sealed her fate as the replacement nom.
Derrick has been working his crew to set the plan in motion to get Nicole nommed. Frankie is now fully committed to this plan. Hours ago he announced that he should stay out of it, and let Caleb and Zach do all the work. But, after his brainwashing session with Nicole went kablooey, he races upstairs to set Christine up for the unveiling of the new target.
An hour later the mission to evict Nicole is official. All systems go. The Bomb Squad is reborn! Let's not talk about how they cannibalized their own by evicting Devon and Amber. Don't focus on the fact that they have all targeted each other numerous times in the last few weeks, not to mention the past 72 hours. We won't dwell on how many times the squad, and it's many sub-alliances, have been outed to the entire house.
The zombie remnants of the Bomb Squad breathes in the pink light of forgetfulness. When their minds wander, and they have bad thoughts about Frankie having already won America's Favorite Player, they focus on their happy place. They release all negative energy about those damn schools in Africa.
They avert their eyes when Christine goes to sleep in the rock room, leaving Frankie to sleep in the HOH in solitary luxury. They all drift of to bed, to dream the dreams of the living dead. They are the now officially the Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history!
Have a Dorky Day!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
My Name Is Frankie Grande And I Am A Mogulomaniac
The plan was in place to get Frankie on the block. Caleb would throw the Battle of The Block, he and Frankie would lose to Donny and Zach, and it's a done deal. A perfect plan, unless one or one hundred things go wrong! The feeds go down, and the battle begins.
Hours later, when the feeds return, we discover that Frankie won the Battle of the Block, all by his lonesome!. Plus, he won a field trip to a football game for himself, Caleb, and Christine! And he won a slop pass! Things quickly spiral out of control from there. Another night of crazy good feeds.
The kind of feeds that make you want to smash your computer to smithereens every time Frankie opens his mouth. Because when Frankie speaks, the feeling of disgust and outrage at his words makes you cringe. You want to look away, but you can't. Ugh.
Frankie had informed everyone in the house that he would be talking to them later about... um...things. He dropped cryptic hints all day about this. After the comp he would tell them...umm..things..um...good things....about...ummm...stuff...about why he is there.....and things!
And tell he did! But first, after he tries unsuccessfully to get Zach to talk with him, he annouces that he may have to get production to lock Zach in a room by himself if he isn't going to behave. He doesn't want Zach to ruin his talk with everyone.. He actually says this. Then, as he gathers the guys together to move into the fire room, a sulking but quiet Zach included, he says this:
"Producers! We are moving into the fire room!"
When they all get settled into he room he says this:
"Are the cameras in place?"
And with those words, it is obvious to all of us feed watchers around the world, that this is the beginning of yet another segment of The Frankie Show, sponsored by BB production. What follows is one of the most disgusting confessionals in BB history. He tells Caleb, Derrick, Cody, and Zach that he has been lying to them the entire game. He wants to tell them who he really is. And then he says this:
" I am social media mogul, a YouTube star with a gazillion followers, and my sister is a mega-super pop star, and I am here to donate my winnings to charity, my charity that I founded, to build schools in Africa"
And things go downhill from there. Down the hill we go in a big, slimy, egotistical mudslide designed to wash away all of Frankie's sins. Thus begins a night of shock and awe that throws the house guests into pandemonium. Complete with Frankie sending us to fish every fifteen minutes as he burst into song. An Ariana Grande song to be precise. He also warns the hgs that he can say Ariana's name, but they are not allowed. WTF??
To insure the sympathy votes were secure, he threw his grandfathers death into the mix as the reason he betrayed Zach and the alliance! If I was a real live BB update blogger, I would have to transcribe all of the ridiculously arrogant words he uttered last night. Thank gawd I am just a dorky little blogger with no such responsibility. I leave that to the professionals. And may gawd bless and protect those poor souls who had to listen, and re-listen, to his sniveling drivel to get the words right. Please pray for them. Amen.
I am still stuck on his first words about being an internet mogul. Who says that? I consult my resident expert on all things pertaining to the English language. I ask her if anyone would ever refer to themselves as a mogul.? Is that the proper use of the word? She says no. It's a word that someone might use to describe you, but you would never use it to describe yourself. Unless you were maybe Donald Trump. HA!
So we had a long night of star struck hgs pretending not to care a damn about who Frankie and his sister are. Caleb couldn't hide his starry eyes as he tells Frankie that in the game he doesn't care who Frankie is, but after the show can Frankie hook him up?
Frankie responds by scheduling a limo to take everyone to Justin Bieber's house. I don't know if that will happen before everyone gets to sing on his sister's next double-triple-platinum-single, or after they all attend the My-Sister-Is-One-Level-Above-Beyonce Award Show. And somewhere in the Frankie Tour schedule, he simply must pencil in his next YouTube video, which of course they will all be starring in. Seriously, I am pretty sure all this is in the works!
It's a monkey-barrel of emotions in the BB house by now. Nicole is crying her eyes out because she is the one who nommed Frankie. She now believes she will be seen as a villain. She is completely freaking out about this. Remember her fake fight with Hayden, and how she broke down and said she couldn't do it because viewers would think she was mean? Nicole worries about how she is perceived, and all this famous Frankie business just makes her want to curl up and cry.
Vicroria has a little cry-fest of her own involving her mysterious hair loss, Frankie, and his sister. It turns out that Ariana lost her hair tooooooooo!! And when Victoria had a meltdown about her extensions being revealed on BB, Frankie comforted her, and mentioned his sister had the same thing happen to her hair. But he didn't say his sister was FAMOUS! He didn't tell her she was ARIANA GRANDE! And for some crazy reason, this breaks Victoria's heart.
While Victoria and Nicole are busy giving each other pep-talks, the guys are plotting.the next best move of the worst ever BB alliance. They never give up. Derrick is working overtime now. He has to get these guys motivated. Zach has been in a stupor since Frankie revealed his super-hero powers. He keeps saying "He's building schools in Africa dude, I'm fooked!"
Frankie announces that he will be sleeping in the HOH room so that everybody can have their own bed tonight. Once again he is doing things for the good of all. Such sacrifices he makes!
I just can't take it any more!! I finally turn off the feeds around 1:00 a.m. BB time. I am already dreading the next few CBS shows. Frankie has ruined them with his confessional. And now the feeds will be filled with Frankie name dropping, and singing, and all kinds of Frankie show business talk. Ugh, and double ugh!!
As I reach to click the feeds off I catch this little tidbit. Frankie walks through the dining area with his bag packed for his move to the HOH room. He is on his way to take a bubble bath and relax in HOH luxury.
Christine and Cody are talking, and doing their flirty thing, and Frankie stops to chat and recap his day:
"Wow! Were noms just this morning?? Today I was nommed, I was shunned all day, I kicked ass in the competition and won it all by myself, and I won a field trip to a football game. And now I am the most popular girl in the house!!!"
It's a crazy world, this BB world! And tonight, on the feeds, Frankie gave us a guided tour of it's dark underbelly. I know we have long days ahead filled with conspiracy theories of production manipulating things for Frankie's benefit. I have my own theory that most of tonight's festivities were a direct result of Frankie manipulating production. But hey, that's show business! ((curls up in fetal position and remains catatonic for the rest of the season))
Have a Dorky Day!
Hours later, when the feeds return, we discover that Frankie won the Battle of the Block, all by his lonesome!. Plus, he won a field trip to a football game for himself, Caleb, and Christine! And he won a slop pass! Things quickly spiral out of control from there. Another night of crazy good feeds.
The kind of feeds that make you want to smash your computer to smithereens every time Frankie opens his mouth. Because when Frankie speaks, the feeling of disgust and outrage at his words makes you cringe. You want to look away, but you can't. Ugh.
Frankie had informed everyone in the house that he would be talking to them later about... um...things. He dropped cryptic hints all day about this. After the comp he would tell them...umm..things..um...good things....about...ummm...stuff...about why he is there.....and things!
And tell he did! But first, after he tries unsuccessfully to get Zach to talk with him, he annouces that he may have to get production to lock Zach in a room by himself if he isn't going to behave. He doesn't want Zach to ruin his talk with everyone.. He actually says this. Then, as he gathers the guys together to move into the fire room, a sulking but quiet Zach included, he says this:
"Producers! We are moving into the fire room!"
When they all get settled into he room he says this:
"Are the cameras in place?"
And with those words, it is obvious to all of us feed watchers around the world, that this is the beginning of yet another segment of The Frankie Show, sponsored by BB production. What follows is one of the most disgusting confessionals in BB history. He tells Caleb, Derrick, Cody, and Zach that he has been lying to them the entire game. He wants to tell them who he really is. And then he says this:
" I am social media mogul, a YouTube star with a gazillion followers, and my sister is a mega-super pop star, and I am here to donate my winnings to charity, my charity that I founded, to build schools in Africa"
And things go downhill from there. Down the hill we go in a big, slimy, egotistical mudslide designed to wash away all of Frankie's sins. Thus begins a night of shock and awe that throws the house guests into pandemonium. Complete with Frankie sending us to fish every fifteen minutes as he burst into song. An Ariana Grande song to be precise. He also warns the hgs that he can say Ariana's name, but they are not allowed. WTF??
To insure the sympathy votes were secure, he threw his grandfathers death into the mix as the reason he betrayed Zach and the alliance! If I was a real live BB update blogger, I would have to transcribe all of the ridiculously arrogant words he uttered last night. Thank gawd I am just a dorky little blogger with no such responsibility. I leave that to the professionals. And may gawd bless and protect those poor souls who had to listen, and re-listen, to his sniveling drivel to get the words right. Please pray for them. Amen.
I am still stuck on his first words about being an internet mogul. Who says that? I consult my resident expert on all things pertaining to the English language. I ask her if anyone would ever refer to themselves as a mogul.? Is that the proper use of the word? She says no. It's a word that someone might use to describe you, but you would never use it to describe yourself. Unless you were maybe Donald Trump. HA!
So we had a long night of star struck hgs pretending not to care a damn about who Frankie and his sister are. Caleb couldn't hide his starry eyes as he tells Frankie that in the game he doesn't care who Frankie is, but after the show can Frankie hook him up?
Frankie responds by scheduling a limo to take everyone to Justin Bieber's house. I don't know if that will happen before everyone gets to sing on his sister's next double-triple-platinum-single, or after they all attend the My-Sister-Is-One-Level-Above-Beyonce Award Show. And somewhere in the Frankie Tour schedule, he simply must pencil in his next YouTube video, which of course they will all be starring in. Seriously, I am pretty sure all this is in the works!
It's a monkey-barrel of emotions in the BB house by now. Nicole is crying her eyes out because she is the one who nommed Frankie. She now believes she will be seen as a villain. She is completely freaking out about this. Remember her fake fight with Hayden, and how she broke down and said she couldn't do it because viewers would think she was mean? Nicole worries about how she is perceived, and all this famous Frankie business just makes her want to curl up and cry.
Vicroria has a little cry-fest of her own involving her mysterious hair loss, Frankie, and his sister. It turns out that Ariana lost her hair tooooooooo!! And when Victoria had a meltdown about her extensions being revealed on BB, Frankie comforted her, and mentioned his sister had the same thing happen to her hair. But he didn't say his sister was FAMOUS! He didn't tell her she was ARIANA GRANDE! And for some crazy reason, this breaks Victoria's heart.
While Victoria and Nicole are busy giving each other pep-talks, the guys are plotting.the next best move of the worst ever BB alliance. They never give up. Derrick is working overtime now. He has to get these guys motivated. Zach has been in a stupor since Frankie revealed his super-hero powers. He keeps saying "He's building schools in Africa dude, I'm fooked!"
Frankie announces that he will be sleeping in the HOH room so that everybody can have their own bed tonight. Once again he is doing things for the good of all. Such sacrifices he makes!
I just can't take it any more!! I finally turn off the feeds around 1:00 a.m. BB time. I am already dreading the next few CBS shows. Frankie has ruined them with his confessional. And now the feeds will be filled with Frankie name dropping, and singing, and all kinds of Frankie show business talk. Ugh, and double ugh!!
As I reach to click the feeds off I catch this little tidbit. Frankie walks through the dining area with his bag packed for his move to the HOH room. He is on his way to take a bubble bath and relax in HOH luxury.
Christine and Cody are talking, and doing their flirty thing, and Frankie stops to chat and recap his day:
"Wow! Were noms just this morning?? Today I was nommed, I was shunned all day, I kicked ass in the competition and won it all by myself, and I won a field trip to a football game. And now I am the most popular girl in the house!!!"
It's a crazy world, this BB world! And tonight, on the feeds, Frankie gave us a guided tour of it's dark underbelly. I know we have long days ahead filled with conspiracy theories of production manipulating things for Frankie's benefit. I have my own theory that most of tonight's festivities were a direct result of Frankie manipulating production. But hey, that's show business! ((curls up in fetal position and remains catatonic for the rest of the season))
Have a Dorky Day!
Friday, August 8, 2014
Double Whammy Aftermath
When the feeds come back on after an amazing double whammy, double blindside, double eviction show, we are treated to all sorts of good fun! Nicole is in the kitchen calling out Frankie and Christine, and telling everyone how things went down this week. She embraces her inner feisty-quirky-froot-loop-dingus, and she is ready to rumble! And then... she cries.
Christine swoops in and whisks Nicole into the hive room to comfort her. To Christine, comfort includes lies, manipulation, and profuse claims of innocence in all the nefarious schemes that have transpired. It begins to look like Nicole is believing Christine's lies. Nicole says she believes her, but maybe she is lying about that. And this sets the theme for the night. It's impossible to know who is lying to who about what.
Meanwhile, there is a brief interlude of summer camp fun when the guys sit Zach down to explain that even though he's been a bad boy, they still love him. It's a chorus of he said-she said-you said, and then straight into a campfire rendition of Kumbaya. Guy hugs all around.
Frankie leaves the room, and we discover that summer camp is over! Derrick, Cody, and Caleb are certain that Frankie and Christine are actually guilty of all the things Nicole and Hayden have accused them of. They convince Zach that Frankie and Christine were the true masterminds behind his near demise. Once again, it's hard to tell if Zach is really buying it. Can we please exchange those fitness trackers for mood rings?
Fishes come, and fishes go, and we discover the two new HOH winners are Nicole and Christine. Awkward!! Frankie interrupts their nomination discussion to announce that he is done playing BB with those dumb boys! He wants to play with the girls now! Let's play HOH!
Here we go again. Is Nicole drinking Frankie's Kool-Aid? It seems like she is. But this is Big Brother, and Frankie isn't the only Kool-Aid stand in town! While Nicole is busy with Frankie and Christine, the guys are mixing up a batch of their own Kool-Aid. The idea is to get Nicole, who they just bamboozled up the wazoo, to trust them again. They will work with her to get Frankie out. They need a double strength batch of Kool-Aid for this plan to work.
Derrick slips some Team-America-fook-up-the-game-tablets into his pitcher of Kool-Aid and asks the guys to try some. Team America's task this week is to get someone to volunteer to be a pawn, and then vote them out. Zach takes a big gulp of Derrick's poison potion and volunteers himself!
Zach decides he needs to set up a rogue Kool-Aid stand of his own. He confesses everything to Nicole and secures what sounds pretty much like a final two deal with her. Are they both drunk on day glow Kool-Aid cocktails by now, or are they speaking the truth? I have absolutely no idea.
A little while later, Nicole tells the guys she just doesn't trust Zach enough to throw the BOB if she noms him with Frankie. Caleb, who has his own personal brand of Kool-Aid coursing through his veins, volunteers to be a pawn and throw the BOB. He swears he will sit on his hands and throw that comp, beast-mode style!
By now Nicole, feeling a bit bloated by all the sugary sweet Kool-Aid she has been force fed through the night, decides it's time for bed. Derrick expresses doubts about the Team America task. Caleb, certain that he is America's Favorite Player, sends a memo to BB to secure a limo and security guards to protect him from his fans on finale night. Zach climbs on the furniture, and replays the moment during the live show when Julie called him RanceyPants. And Victoria is thinking she is now a key player in this thing called Big Brother, since the guys had a zillion game convos right in front of her, because they forgot she was even in the room!
And there we were, basking in the afterglow of a great night of feeds, with absolutely no idea who is lying and who is truthing. I think Nicole will work with the guys to get Frankie out. I'm pretty sure Team America will decline the new task. I am fairly certain that the Have Nots were selected and I completely missed it. And I am absolutely, positively, going to start a petition demanding mood rings for season 17.
Have a Dorky Day!
Christine swoops in and whisks Nicole into the hive room to comfort her. To Christine, comfort includes lies, manipulation, and profuse claims of innocence in all the nefarious schemes that have transpired. It begins to look like Nicole is believing Christine's lies. Nicole says she believes her, but maybe she is lying about that. And this sets the theme for the night. It's impossible to know who is lying to who about what.
Meanwhile, there is a brief interlude of summer camp fun when the guys sit Zach down to explain that even though he's been a bad boy, they still love him. It's a chorus of he said-she said-you said, and then straight into a campfire rendition of Kumbaya. Guy hugs all around.
Frankie leaves the room, and we discover that summer camp is over! Derrick, Cody, and Caleb are certain that Frankie and Christine are actually guilty of all the things Nicole and Hayden have accused them of. They convince Zach that Frankie and Christine were the true masterminds behind his near demise. Once again, it's hard to tell if Zach is really buying it. Can we please exchange those fitness trackers for mood rings?
Fishes come, and fishes go, and we discover the two new HOH winners are Nicole and Christine. Awkward!! Frankie interrupts their nomination discussion to announce that he is done playing BB with those dumb boys! He wants to play with the girls now! Let's play HOH!
Here we go again. Is Nicole drinking Frankie's Kool-Aid? It seems like she is. But this is Big Brother, and Frankie isn't the only Kool-Aid stand in town! While Nicole is busy with Frankie and Christine, the guys are mixing up a batch of their own Kool-Aid. The idea is to get Nicole, who they just bamboozled up the wazoo, to trust them again. They will work with her to get Frankie out. They need a double strength batch of Kool-Aid for this plan to work.
Derrick slips some Team-America-fook-up-the-game-tablets into his pitcher of Kool-Aid and asks the guys to try some. Team America's task this week is to get someone to volunteer to be a pawn, and then vote them out. Zach takes a big gulp of Derrick's poison potion and volunteers himself!
Zach decides he needs to set up a rogue Kool-Aid stand of his own. He confesses everything to Nicole and secures what sounds pretty much like a final two deal with her. Are they both drunk on day glow Kool-Aid cocktails by now, or are they speaking the truth? I have absolutely no idea.
A little while later, Nicole tells the guys she just doesn't trust Zach enough to throw the BOB if she noms him with Frankie. Caleb, who has his own personal brand of Kool-Aid coursing through his veins, volunteers to be a pawn and throw the BOB. He swears he will sit on his hands and throw that comp, beast-mode style!
By now Nicole, feeling a bit bloated by all the sugary sweet Kool-Aid she has been force fed through the night, decides it's time for bed. Derrick expresses doubts about the Team America task. Caleb, certain that he is America's Favorite Player, sends a memo to BB to secure a limo and security guards to protect him from his fans on finale night. Zach climbs on the furniture, and replays the moment during the live show when Julie called him RanceyPants. And Victoria is thinking she is now a key player in this thing called Big Brother, since the guys had a zillion game convos right in front of her, because they forgot she was even in the room!
And there we were, basking in the afterglow of a great night of feeds, with absolutely no idea who is lying and who is truthing. I think Nicole will work with the guys to get Frankie out. I'm pretty sure Team America will decline the new task. I am fairly certain that the Have Nots were selected and I completely missed it. And I am absolutely, positively, going to start a petition demanding mood rings for season 17.
Have a Dorky Day!
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