I'm feeling all weird and cranky about whatever the fook is happening in the Big Brother house this week. This post is just me trying to make sense of what might be happening in my fave reality show.
We still have no idea what is really going on with Audrey. She has been hiding out in the HN room for days. She speaks to just a few of the house guests when they come in to check on her. The others are getting the silent treatment.
BB has changed some rules just for her. She's a Have Not, but she can eat regular food. She can turn the lights out in the HN room. She can sleep on the floor if she so desires. She didn't have to show up for the POV ceremony, even though she was the re-nom.
Some of the house guests say that in the DR they were told that whatever is going on with Audrey is not serious. I missed this on the feeds, but I read in several updates that she is allowed food because BB gave her meds that must be taken with food.
That's about all we know for sure.
By now, I feel a bit reluctant to tweet or blog about her. What if she's really sick? The house guests seem to feel the same way. It must be so damn strange in the BB house right now. If we feel frustrated not having any idea what is going on with Audrey, Imagine how they feel.
I have never really understood Audrey's game plan. Her main strategy seems to be setting house guests against each other and confusing everyone whenever she can. She was brilliant at whatever she was up to.
That's why it's so hard to believe she isn't faking this breakdown. The timing, the dramatics, everything about it is pure Audrey crazy game play. But, if she is faking it, what is her end goal? To say fook you to BB, the cast, the viewers? To hide out till today or tomorrow and wow us with a magical plan to save herself?
If she is ill enough to sleep the days away with special privileges, why is she still there? Does BB just want to keep here there till eviction? Would they potentially endanger a cast members health by talking them into staying in the house?
Maybe she couldn't convince them she was having a real breakdown. If you leave the show for medical reasons do you lose your stipend? Maybe not. Her fake tears up to now have been so obvious. Surely production is aware of her "I'm the victim here" strategy. Maybe BB wouldn't give her a medical release, but conceded to the bending of some rules to keep her chilled out till eviction.
Whatever the truth is, it's the weirdest week ever in Big Brother. It's like she walked off the show without actually walking.
Have A Dorky Day
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Monday, July 20, 2015
Nervousing Big Time!
I have no idea where to begin.
Well, I guess the most important event to occur in the BB house in the past 36 hours is that Shelli put in some new extensions. Audrey helped her. They are tape in extensions that Shelli bought on YouTube. (??!?!?) Her scalp is all icky and she has little spots of rash from the tape from the old extensions. I guess they just taped right over the icky parts and, Voila! beautiful hair!
Okay.Now that we've covered the important stuff, let's see, what else have these crazy people been up to? Whatever it is, those damn tape-on extensions did not survive the night!
Vanessa is still going a-mile-a-minute-speed-freak-outta-control. Her new goal is to get Audrey back doored this week. After hearing just a few hundred repetitions of her reasons why, Shelli is on board for this brilliant game move.
Vanessa wants to win the Veto and be all badass at the ceremony and let Audrey know she is the real target now! And Vanessa does win it! After her win, she sets out to make all kinds of deals with Jason,Jackie, and Meg and I forget who else. Somehow, in her speed demon mind, she is convinced that if she uses the veto to remove Jason from the block she is pretty much entitled to safety right up to jury. Oh, and by the way she'll guarantee them safety too! That's nice.
Jason tells her he can't make deals for anyone else. Jackie tells her thanks, but no thanks. She doesn't wanna get involved. Vanessa is completely surprised by this response. Isn't her Veto magic? Can't they understand this?.
Meanwhile, Audrey is busy smelling some rats. She starts moseying around the house causing trouble. She is so damn good at it! And they all know what she is doing! But still..maybe what she is saying is true. She strolls away looking for her next victim.
I won't even go into what she is saying, or what reasons Vanessa and Shelli have for the back door plan. It's just more of the same that's been going on for weeks. Let's just say the stars have aligned, dreams and visions are all mixed up with empirical evidence, and everybody hurts in their hearts.
There is a fight in the HOH between Audrey and the Sleeper Cell Alliance, or whatever they are calling themselves these days. Everyone downstairs can hear the yelling and screaming up in the HOH. They are loving it!
It's obvious these people are done with Audrey, But Audrey's not done with them. Sulking and crying and plotting away she tries to talk to Shelli, then to Shelli and Vanessa, then to Shelli. Endlessly to Shelli. She won't stop. She won't leave the HOH. She won't go quietly into this good night.
Finally Shelli just leaves the HOH herself. Audry is regaining her composure. And counting on her fingers. And mumbling, and crying, and counting on her fingers again. She finally goes down stairs and pulls on her bean spilling pants. She is gonna spill beans all over the place.
James and Jackie get first call on spilled beans. Stealth whispering ensues. Audrey is spilling mostly truthful beans. But by now, no one will believe her.
Soon enough a house meeting is called. A very special meeting without Audrey. I can see why they want to exclude her. It's kinda sad, and pretty rude, but I get it. I would never give anyone with skills like Audrey a chance to drive me cuckoo more than once.
The meeting would have been more of a BB house meeting with Audrey for sure. This was like a friendly little tapas party. They all compared Audrey notes and then formed a F12 alliance and agreed to vote her out. Kiss-kiss, that was special, we should do this more often!
Meanwhile, Audrey is in the DR. For hours and hours. This puts a damper on the newly unified house guest celebration. What could she be doing in there? Is she going to leave? They want her to leave, but not by quitting. Shelli and Vanessa are just really worried about her now.
Audrey finally comes out of the DR and somehow, in the midst of her post DR anxiety attack, ends up in bed with Vanessa., the POV winner. How convenient! Audrey is freaking out! Hallucinations! Anxiety! Disgrace! Stealth whispering and night vision combine, and you can only catch few words here and there.Audrey will see the doctor tomorrow and get new meds.
Morning finally comes. Audrey won't wake up, won't change her batteries, won't go to the DR.
Fishes come and fishes go, and we learn that Audrey is in the DR. Once again, for hours. I think we just passed three hours.
Rumors are flying, inside and outside the house.Is Audrey walking off the show? Is she having some kind of medical emergency? Is this all part of her evil plan to get them to feel sorry for her?
The POV is waaaaaaaaay late. Every time anyone on he feeds mentions Audrey we get fish. The camera dude has recently zoomed in on the Emergency Exit button in the storage room. The one that Audrey told Vanessa she wanted to push last night when she came out of the DR.
What the fook is going on? We sit and wait. We have no idea. We make up all kinds of ridiculous scenarios. We stare at those damn fishes looking for clues. We are nervousing big time!
Have A Dorky Day!
Well, I guess the most important event to occur in the BB house in the past 36 hours is that Shelli put in some new extensions. Audrey helped her. They are tape in extensions that Shelli bought on YouTube. (??!?!?) Her scalp is all icky and she has little spots of rash from the tape from the old extensions. I guess they just taped right over the icky parts and, Voila! beautiful hair!
Okay.Now that we've covered the important stuff, let's see, what else have these crazy people been up to? Whatever it is, those damn tape-on extensions did not survive the night!
Vanessa is still going a-mile-a-minute-speed-freak-outta-control. Her new goal is to get Audrey back doored this week. After hearing just a few hundred repetitions of her reasons why, Shelli is on board for this brilliant game move.
Vanessa wants to win the Veto and be all badass at the ceremony and let Audrey know she is the real target now! And Vanessa does win it! After her win, she sets out to make all kinds of deals with Jason,Jackie, and Meg and I forget who else. Somehow, in her speed demon mind, she is convinced that if she uses the veto to remove Jason from the block she is pretty much entitled to safety right up to jury. Oh, and by the way she'll guarantee them safety too! That's nice.
Jason tells her he can't make deals for anyone else. Jackie tells her thanks, but no thanks. She doesn't wanna get involved. Vanessa is completely surprised by this response. Isn't her Veto magic? Can't they understand this?.
Meanwhile, Audrey is busy smelling some rats. She starts moseying around the house causing trouble. She is so damn good at it! And they all know what she is doing! But still..maybe what she is saying is true. She strolls away looking for her next victim.
I won't even go into what she is saying, or what reasons Vanessa and Shelli have for the back door plan. It's just more of the same that's been going on for weeks. Let's just say the stars have aligned, dreams and visions are all mixed up with empirical evidence, and everybody hurts in their hearts.
There is a fight in the HOH between Audrey and the Sleeper Cell Alliance, or whatever they are calling themselves these days. Everyone downstairs can hear the yelling and screaming up in the HOH. They are loving it!
It's obvious these people are done with Audrey, But Audrey's not done with them. Sulking and crying and plotting away she tries to talk to Shelli, then to Shelli and Vanessa, then to Shelli. Endlessly to Shelli. She won't stop. She won't leave the HOH. She won't go quietly into this good night.
Finally Shelli just leaves the HOH herself. Audry is regaining her composure. And counting on her fingers. And mumbling, and crying, and counting on her fingers again. She finally goes down stairs and pulls on her bean spilling pants. She is gonna spill beans all over the place.
James and Jackie get first call on spilled beans. Stealth whispering ensues. Audrey is spilling mostly truthful beans. But by now, no one will believe her.
Soon enough a house meeting is called. A very special meeting without Audrey. I can see why they want to exclude her. It's kinda sad, and pretty rude, but I get it. I would never give anyone with skills like Audrey a chance to drive me cuckoo more than once.
The meeting would have been more of a BB house meeting with Audrey for sure. This was like a friendly little tapas party. They all compared Audrey notes and then formed a F12 alliance and agreed to vote her out. Kiss-kiss, that was special, we should do this more often!
Meanwhile, Audrey is in the DR. For hours and hours. This puts a damper on the newly unified house guest celebration. What could she be doing in there? Is she going to leave? They want her to leave, but not by quitting. Shelli and Vanessa are just really worried about her now.
Audrey finally comes out of the DR and somehow, in the midst of her post DR anxiety attack, ends up in bed with Vanessa., the POV winner. How convenient! Audrey is freaking out! Hallucinations! Anxiety! Disgrace! Stealth whispering and night vision combine, and you can only catch few words here and there.Audrey will see the doctor tomorrow and get new meds.
Morning finally comes. Audrey won't wake up, won't change her batteries, won't go to the DR.
Fishes come and fishes go, and we learn that Audrey is in the DR. Once again, for hours. I think we just passed three hours.
Rumors are flying, inside and outside the house.Is Audrey walking off the show? Is she having some kind of medical emergency? Is this all part of her evil plan to get them to feel sorry for her?
The POV is waaaaaaaaay late. Every time anyone on he feeds mentions Audrey we get fish. The camera dude has recently zoomed in on the Emergency Exit button in the storage room. The one that Audrey told Vanessa she wanted to push last night when she came out of the DR.
What the fook is going on? We sit and wait. We have no idea. We make up all kinds of ridiculous scenarios. We stare at those damn fishes looking for clues. We are nervousing big time!
Have A Dorky Day!
Monday, July 13, 2015
Vanessa Decides Her Best Game Move Is To Talk Really Fast Until All Of Our Heads Explode!
I love me some crazy paranoid BB, but Audrey and Vanessa have worn me out a thousand times over. And Vanessa broke my feeds! She talked so fast, for so long, my feeds are all glitchy with a repeating loop. Vanessa is already a repeating loop, this just adds to the insanity.
Ok. So where are we. Week Three. OK.
Audrey's game plan is equal parts loony toons and camera time. I can't keep up with who she is targeting, because it can change mid sentence.This is her third week safe from the block, and still she feels the need to cause trouble. Multiple troubles, boil and bubbles. Everyone knows she is lying and twisting every body's words. They are all aware that she can cast spells on people and twist up their tongues so there is no hope of defending themselves! They know this!
But when she comes to drag someone away to 'clear the air ', off they go!. I wouldn't talk to Audrey about anything, ever! John came up with the perfect plan for dealing with her. He said he will either give her the silent treatment or yell at her. Those are his only options for protecting himself from her.
Silent treatment means she will have nothing to quote him on. Yelling at her means everyone else will be able to hear what he says to her. I love this plan. I hope he really does try this out. It would be great fun.
Vanessa and Austin, and whatever the fook alliances they are in, have decided they must protect Audrey.She is a meat shield that they can get out later. Whenever they desire. Easy as pie. HA!
They have also agreed to protect the recently discovered twin twist, Liz and Julia. They will protect the twins with their BB lives because weeks from now it will mean an extra vote for their side of the house! The fact that the twins will be related by blood as a pair in the house isn't even discussed. Those twins will be so grateful for this protection that they will just do as they are told. Yep. Sounds like a PLAN!
Three weeks into this season, we now have empirical evidence that the BoB sucks the life right out of this game of Big Brother that we hold so dear. And three weeks of lame ass takeovers have shown us just how ridiculous this season is going to be.
And one week of Vanessa and her mile-a-minute, head spinning talkathon of an HoH makes me very leery of turning the feeds back on after this POV ceremony.But I will. Because......BB.
Have A Dorky Day!
Ok. So where are we. Week Three. OK.
Audrey's game plan is equal parts loony toons and camera time. I can't keep up with who she is targeting, because it can change mid sentence.This is her third week safe from the block, and still she feels the need to cause trouble. Multiple troubles, boil and bubbles. Everyone knows she is lying and twisting every body's words. They are all aware that she can cast spells on people and twist up their tongues so there is no hope of defending themselves! They know this!
But when she comes to drag someone away to 'clear the air ', off they go!. I wouldn't talk to Audrey about anything, ever! John came up with the perfect plan for dealing with her. He said he will either give her the silent treatment or yell at her. Those are his only options for protecting himself from her.
Silent treatment means she will have nothing to quote him on. Yelling at her means everyone else will be able to hear what he says to her. I love this plan. I hope he really does try this out. It would be great fun.
Vanessa and Austin, and whatever the fook alliances they are in, have decided they must protect Audrey.She is a meat shield that they can get out later. Whenever they desire. Easy as pie. HA!
They have also agreed to protect the recently discovered twin twist, Liz and Julia. They will protect the twins with their BB lives because weeks from now it will mean an extra vote for their side of the house! The fact that the twins will be related by blood as a pair in the house isn't even discussed. Those twins will be so grateful for this protection that they will just do as they are told. Yep. Sounds like a PLAN!
Three weeks into this season, we now have empirical evidence that the BoB sucks the life right out of this game of Big Brother that we hold so dear. And three weeks of lame ass takeovers have shown us just how ridiculous this season is going to be.
And one week of Vanessa and her mile-a-minute, head spinning talkathon of an HoH makes me very leery of turning the feeds back on after this POV ceremony.But I will. Because......BB.
Have A Dorky Day!
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