See You Laters!

I did it! I survived BB16! I hope to be back in February to blog Big Brother Canada. Follow me on twitter so I can let you know when I start posting again. My twitter link is right over there ----->>

Blogging BB has been such a blast! When I started in June, I decided that I would write about whatever caught my fancy, and have fun with it. I didn't really expect to have many readers. I just wanted to write about the crazy world of BB live feeds.

I didn't want to do a recap or feed update blog. That takes a lot of work! I left that to the professionals. My blog list includes my favorite bloggers.  After only one season of writing my dorky little BB blog, I respect them even more. They are gods to me!

I figured I might have about ten peeps from chat who would check out my blog, and maybe come back now and then to read some more. Feedsters are hungry for details! We want times, and places, and lots of pretty pictures! My blog is pretty sketchy in these key areas.

I chose not to include screen caps. I am extremely low tech, and I suspect that screen caps involve a lot of clicking on things, etc. I don't like to click on things, it makes me nervous. I didn't include too many time stamps either. I must confess that I didn't even think about time stamps until pretty far into the season. I am such a dork!

Twitter would be a great tool for a new BB blogger to use, right?  Like, get the word out!  Network! Follow!  Start a conversation!  But every time I went to tweet my first tweet, I had nothing to say! I finally did get started, but it has taken me months to get in the twitter groove. I was so bad at Twitter that Twitter For Dummies started following me!  Seriously!  If they follow everyone, please don't tell me. I want to believe I am special.

Okay. Enough about me! What about you? My loyal readers?  I am so amazed and grateful for your support! Most of you have found me through chat or Facebook groups. And I have to thank you again for allowing me to post my blog link. You all spread the word for me. Without your shares, and comments, and positive feedback, I would probably still have about ten readers.

And for those readers who found me through Google, you did some of the heavy work too!  It took me two months of posts to really pay attention to tags/labels!  How did you even find me? You had to be seriously committed to your BB16 search quest to find my dorky little blog!

Special thanks to Connie R. for setting me up with the dorkiest BB blog ever!  My typewriter pic! My Barbie pic!  No BB graphic anywhere!  I love it!  It feels like I am undercover BB!  It is so completely dorky!!!

Big hugs to Jeff and Jenn, the best site and chat hosts in all the lands!

Group hug to my chat family!  I can't imagine watching BB without you! And a special hello, and thank you, to all the lurkers in chat!  I know you have been in super stealth mode when you read my posts!

Thanks to everyone in the fb groups for all of your comments and feedback! It's been fun getting to know you all! I will still be checking in, this is not goodbye.

See you all back here in February for BB Canada!

                                                 Have a Dorky Day!

Finally, The Finale!

So....the finale wasn't quite as bad as I expected. Not as good as I had hoped for either. Happens every year.  Julie builds me up, only to smash me down.

Hooray for Derrick! He worked 24/7, double-triple-overtime, to win BB16 . I kind of like that Cody took Derrick to F2. I admire loyalty, and I like it better when there are two game players at the end. And Victoria didn't cry! You go girl!

And Donny won AFP! Or was it AFH? Whatever, five million votes! That's pretty awesome. And what a great job Julie did with that reveal! You just know that Frankie thought he had gotten ten million votes, all for his own self! His reaction was priceless! That almost made up for how bad the rest of the show was.

Then we move to the back yard interviews. That reporter was terrible! Has he ever used a microphone before?  Those questions were ridiculous! And I think the camera dude was the last surviving live feed switch intern. He dropped the camera!

Hee hee! Donny confessed that he was the one who crossed out Victoria's name in the bathroom! Some peeps are really mad at him for this, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. His back yard interviews were the best! He is hilarious! I want to make him a tee shirt:

I'm trending on Twitter

....whatever that is.

Zach was so cool! Just chillin. Happy for everybody. Cody just wants to have some beers with Big Jeff. All the hgs except for Jocasta and Devin were pretty gracious about everything. Jocasta was still trying to build her church, and Devin simply has no idea how to talk to people. He just smiled and said stupid things that ended up sounding just plain rude.

And suddenly, Blankie! That's my new name for him. I just made it up right now, this very minute! I want to blank him out of my BB memories. He was so all about him, all over the place last night. Dancing and prancing and kicking and singing and posing and all those things he does to keep the cameras on him. Ugh.

Today I am resisting all urges to click on anything Blankie related. I'm not gonna click, share, like, retweet, or look at anything that's about Blankie.  Blankie on The Talk? Not looking! Blankie jets off to SNL?  Not caring!  HA!  I'll show him!!!

All the hgs can now go back to being who they are in real life. I wish them all well. They entertained me for almost 3 months, We have had our fickle way with them, and now their life is their own again. 

Everyone but Blankie. Blankie just makes me all kinds of cranky. I want to white him out from the BB16 story, but I can't. Well, maybe I can!  It's my very own dorky blog after all. I could, if I wanted to, go back through all my posts and Frankie! And make him Blankie!!! 

Oh my Gawd, that's a lot of work. That would take me days and days. Also, most likely, nobody would ever notice!  I'm still worn out from last night, I have no energy for a project of this magnitude. But I can Blankie his ass out of all future posts!  

#AnyOneButBlankie   For the good of all!!!

Have a Dorky Day!

Oh My Gawd! It's Finale Night!

It's finale night! What's gonna happen? I have no idea!!!

Who will win the final HOH?  Will Derrick and Cody stay true to each other? Or will they betray each other, and take Victoria to the end?  Will Victoria even notice, or will she be too busy trying to fit into her sparkly see-through dress that she finally got back from Big Brother?

Why is Dr. Will talking to the jury? Is he there to smash Frankie's evil plans to influence the jury votes? Will he accidentally, on purpose, tell Frankie he looks pretty good for a 31 year old mogulomaniac?  Will he make a golf date with Zach, and ask Frankie to be their caddy? I hope so!

After all the hokey clips, and scripted jury questions, will there be enough time to reveal all the twisty twists? Will we have some good long reaction shots of mouths agape and eyes agog?

Will the audience be a sea of pink hats and Team Zach shirts?  Will Julie be wearing hand crafted Froot Loop earrings?  Will the "Zach's Best Moments" montage make Frankie cranky? Yes, please!

And then there's Caleb and Amber! Will he be wearing those damn bunny slippers? Will it be the most awkward reunion ever? With limousines, cruise tickets, and pickle bananas?  Will we witness the beginnings of StalkMance: The Sequel?

So many possibilities! I am getting more excited by the minute!

Will Devin bring his daughter?  Will Ariana bring her entourage?  Will Frankie get booed? Will Zach start climbing on the furniture and set the monkeys free???

I am very excitable now!

Will Victoria cry if she is evicted, and make us all cry when she cries with Julie? Or will Victoria make it to final two, and win the game, and then be all like "I played the best game ever!" and make us regret that we secretly wanted her to win in the first place?

Will Hayden propose to Nicole? Will Caleb propose to Amber? Will Frankie propose to Zach?  Will Brittany get all pissed off when nobody proposes to her?

Will the jury demand a re-vote when they discover that Derrick is a police officer? Will we see a special feature of "Donny Thompson: Secret Agent Groundskeeper!"? Will Jocasta speak in tongues when she casts her vote?

Will Hayden moon the audience? Will Pao-Pao miss the finale because nobody remembers who she is, and security won't let her in?  Will Joey smack all the girls upside the head and say "I told you so?"

Okay, now I am seriously nervousing, and filled with high expectations. Will tonight's show be anywhere near as crazy good as I am imagining? Or will my BB dreams be smashed to smithereens?

Will I be tweeting my joy, or composing open letters to CBS?  Will I go to sleep happy, or wake up tomorrow and adopt lots of cats, and write petitions up Julie's wazoo?

Oh my Gawd! It's finale night! What will become of us? I have no idea!!!

                                                Have a Dorky Day!

Goodbye Back Yard, It's Been Real !

Last night the final three said goodbye to the back yard. Goodbye hammock. Goodbye fake grass. BB has told them they will be locking down the back yard Tuesday at 7:00 am. Goodbye pool. Goodbye hot tub.

All of these goodbyes while laying on wet astroturf to reenact last season's final three goodbye's. They share back yard memories. This takes quite a while. Cody and Victoria get a little fidgety, but Derrick is just laying under his BB sky soaking it all in. Goodbye barking spiders. (barking spiders??!!!)  Goodbye ants.

They already took the last swing on the hammock. And right before that, Victoria had one last try at getting Derrick to admit he had promised her f2:

Victoria: Can you just admit?
Derrick:  Admit what?
Victoria: That you said the thing...
Derrick:  I said what you think I said, but my intentions were obviously different than you thought they were.
Victoria: So we never had a final two?
Derrick:  I don't think we did.
Victoria: Sigh........

Goodbye weights.  Goodbye couches. Goodbye pillows.

Derrick says they gotta put the cover on the pool table for the last time. I never saw them do this before. I think this is the first time they have ever used that cover. But they are caught up in a Fellini film moment as they say their last words at the pool table funeral. Cody is so sad he might just cry.

Did Derrick get a final Team America mission? A mission to:
A) creep me out, or B) make Cody cry?

Cody writes his name in the dew on the grill cover. A bird shrieks in the night.  I'm getting a little freaked out here. They are all strolling around aimlessly thinking morbid goodbye thoughts. Goodbye washer. Goodbye dryer.

BB: Holla! Froot Loop Dingus!

Thank goodness Zach is here in spirit, to comfort us during the last moments of the saddest ever BB back yard memorial service.

BB scares them with a lockdown announcement. They all freak out and panic. BB announces lockdown is over. They calm down and continue with their goodbyes. They are sad, and tired, and acting pretty damn weird. Goodbye camera pole in the middle of the yard.

They finally head inside to get ready for bed. Thank gawd this nonsense is over! Then Derrick runs back outside for one last goodbye. He races over to the pool. Goodbye Ducky!

BB is playing some really weird sound over the loudspeakers. It sounds like that creepy freaky sound in that movie The Langoliers. It's freaking me the fook out! Maybe its barking spiders! Is that what they sound like?

They just ignore the sound and make a bedtime snack. I would make one too, but the lights are off in my kitchen, and I just know there are barking spiders waiting for me.  And I know what they will shriek at me with that awful Langoliers barking spider sound. Goodbye Dorky!

                                    Have a Dorky Day!

This Final Three Is Killing Me!

The final days in the BB house are designed to make everyone go completely bonkers. The feeds get sooooooo boring, the hgs are sooooooo bored. Game talk is circular, repetitive, mind numbing. At this point in the season my skull is sloshing with a puddle of BB brain-mush.

This particular final three is seriously close to driving each other insane. Cody is cussing up a storm about everything.  He is hyper to the max. He has completely lost patience with Victoria. He wants Derrick to please just make her shut the fook up! Tell her there is no hope! Squash that girl's BB dreams right this minute!

Ever since Cody outed The Hitmen during Caleb's eviction, Victoria has been a little cranky. After Derrick won part two of the final HOH, she has been on a mission to get direct answers from him about who he would take to the final two.

But she is doing it in her own special Victoria way. She hammers away at him for hours, talking so low you can barely hear her. She also speaks in sentence fragments that mostly make no sense. She wants direct answers, but rarely asks a direct question. It's driving Derrick and Cody crazy!. Me too!

I kind of want her to just start screaming at them demanding answers! I wish she would just give them hell for these final days. Victoria actually thinks she has played a good game. She has almost convinced herself that she has brought Derrick to the end with her game play. This whole Hitmen alliance business is really pissing her off.

I think she really wants to get mad, but still holds some small hope that she will be taken to the final two by one of these guys. I bet Victoria is a glorious force to be reckoned with when she is truly furious. That pink hat incident was just a tease.  I want to see her spit fire and spew Hebrew! I want her to get all Victoria Princess Warrior on their asses!!! Yes, please!

Derrick tells her so many versions of why he shouldn't take her to the final two, it's no wonder the poor girl can't speak in complete sentences. But he never tells her point blank that he isn't taking her. He talks around it. He is slowly, methodically, painfully working her for a jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.

Cody says that if Derrick doesn't tell her she has no chance of final two, he will tell her himself.  He wants Victoria to stop following Derrick around. Cody just wants to have a good time being Big Brother's Most-Amazing-Secret-Alliance-Final-Two-Ever, and Victoria is ruining all of his fun!  His Hitmen reveal seems to have gone to his head. He may actually follow through on this threat, if Derrick doesn't finally just tell her he is taking Cody to the end.

Meanwhile, it's hard for me to believe these guys are really not planning to take Victoria to final two. Are they lying to each other? Are they lying to us? I never get it right at the end. My brain hurts just thinking about it.  My final two predictions are always completely wrong. Well, I am mostly wrong the whole season, but I am always crazy wrong in the end. BB brain-mush FTW!

                                         Have a Dorky Day!


.

Bye Bye Caleb! Hello Final Three!!!

Caleb looked so sad when he got evicted. But then he perked right up when he saw the live audience and all those cameras! He gave Julie a flower!  Not as romantic as a pickle banana, but a lovely gesture all the same. Then he posed for the cameras and blocked Julie's shot! BeastMode style!

And we are left with the final three. Cody, Derrick, and Victoria finally get the endurance comp they have been begging for all season.  It was a beautiful set, with rainbow hang gliders, a beautiful sky, and all kinds of scenery. And we had wind, and rain, and lightning.  And then they just kinda stood there, hanging on. 

Was it just me, or was this comp pretty boring?  After Victoria dropped I just lost interest. Then Derrick failed in his roundabout way of getting Cody to drop. I figured that between Derrick and Cody it didn't really matter who won, so I went to bed. I am a sad excuse for a BB blogger. Pitiful!

Cody won!  Derrick and Cody were happy. Victoria was a little pissy. She asked Derrick if he had thrown the comp.  He turned it around pretty quick, saying maybe he should suspect her of throwing it. Crisis averted. Then they all just sat around being the final three. 

Derrick and Cody have a few quick convos about the coming comps, final two, and the fame and glory of The Hit Men alliance. Derrick and Victoria have some convos about their own secret alliance, that for some reason has no alliance name. Then I think they sort of officially make up from their fake fight, in front of Cody. Not that she would ever give Derrick her vote. No, Cody, don't you fret about that.

Meanwhile, Victoria is still worried about her hair. She and Cody talked about Amber constantly asking Victoria if she wore extensions. She starts to tell us about Ariana's hair loss, and we get fish. (CBS is still kissing Grande butt.)  Anyway, she promised to show him her real hair. She keeps saying that she doesn't want anyone to see her without extensions, then she asks if they want to see. If Victoria makes it to final two, she might just reveal her hair to the jury.

She is also worried about what to wear on finale night. BB has all her nice clothes, and she is really getting ticked off about it. This girl has complained after every single nomination, comp, and ceremony, all season. Even when she was absolutely safe, she would complain or worry. Right after Caleb was evicted she started complaining about her clothes. You are in the final three!!! Stop complaining!

So now we wait for part two of the HOH comp. And then we will wait for the finale. There is a lot to be revealed on finale night. How will the hgs respond to the Team America twist? How will Team America feel about failing a mission they thought they nailed? 

And if Derrick wins, what kind of crazy riot will erupt when Julie tells them that Derrick won an extra $50,000?  I can picture them all now, counting on their fingers how much money Derrick won! This should be a lot of fun. But Frankie will have to be part of this reveal, damn it.  He will have one more opportunity to be the star of the show. Ugh! 

It will be fun when Donny's secret identity as a groundskeeper is revealed! I hope we have a close up of Caleb and Frankie when they discover that Donny got an acting gig!!! And then we have America's Favorite Player! If the planets are aligned in our favor, either Zach or Donny will win this coveted award. And that close up of Frankie, when he realizes that he hasn't won AFP, will be the icing on the cake of my BB16 finale! 

                                               Have a Dorky Day!

I

We Made It To The Final Four!!

Remember that guy who was on BB16?  That little weasel who tried to use his celebrity sister, and some charity, to win the game?  He was a real camera hog, always singing and dancing and doing stupid stuff to get attention? He was such a diva. I think he had pink hair, or maybe it was blue?  And CBS kissed his glittery butt? And Julie acted like a silly fangirl when he was finally evicted? I just can't remember his name. Oh, never mind, it doesn't really matter.

So, here we are at the final four! I can't believe we made it this far. Only one more week to go! Derrick is the new HOH. Caleb and Victoria are on the block. Cody won the veto.  It's looking like Caleb will be going to jury. Things could change, but I think that Derrick will make sure that Caleb goes. He's tricky that way!

Caleb is most definitely nervousing.  Doing a lot of pacing. Looking very serious. Dreaming up killer speeches for the veto ceremony. He is looking worried, and a wee bit sad.

I have to say that I will be a wee bit sad if Caleb doesn't make it to final three. He has provided us with endless hours of entertainment. The first few weeks of Caleb feeds were awesome! He came up with one delusion after another, and each delusional episode required a new ridiculous costume. And he made a pickle banana!

He channeled all the scariest BB stalkers into one epic StalkMance. He gave us hours and hours of creepy stalker Amber love scenarios. Endless hours. Painful hours. Days and days of hours and hours of obsessing about Amber.

Ok, now that I have walked down memory lane with BeastMode Cowboy, I might not be too sad if he doesn't make it to final three. It might be a relief.

But then we would be left with Victoria. Yes, it's fun to wish for a crazy win for Victoria, just to show the bros a thing or two. But at least Caleb was playing the game. Of course, he did have to learn the game first, since he had no idea how BB works. Victoria seemed completely oblivious to the game for most of the season. Victoria in the final three would be a hoot for sure.  It might just happen.

She is convinced she will win the endurance part of the final HOH. No doubt. Guaranteed. She told Derrick she is going to crush it. End of story. They talk about the first endurance comp, the first HOH.  She tells him that she would have won that comp if it wasn't for her extensions. Turns out the extensions weighed ten pounds after they were sprayed with all that goop. And every time the log turned her upside down, they would hang down and really hurt her head  Her extensions caused her so much pain that she had to drop.

Those extensions have caused her so much trouble and worry. Last night, before she washed her hair up in the HOH shower, she told Derrick all about her hair. Well, she didn't tell him why her hair fell out, that part is still a mystery. But she did explain how traumatized she was when it happened. She is still so ashamed and mortified that I can't even make fun of her.That's kind of how it's been all season. She is so odd, so ditzy, so bad at this game, and yet I kind of like her for making it this far in spite of herself.
9/17  2:45 a.m. cam 1

Here she is in the final four, and she is still so worried that the hgs know she wears extensions, that they might see her without them. After her shower she shows Derrick her real hair. She lets him touch it. Brave little princess. Maybe she needs to go to the jury house now, so she can have some privacy to get her hair ready for the finale. Run away little princess, run while you can.
9/17  3:19 a.m. cam 1

I can't wait for tonight's show, and then the endurance comp we have all been waiting for. I hope and pray that BB lets us see the rest of the comp on the feeds. It better be the endurance comp to beat all endurance comps. We deserve it. We made it to the final four! We survived!!! Live feeders FTW!

                                             Have a Dorky Day!

It's Craft Activity Day at BB16 Summer Camp!

Big Brother gave the hgs alcohol last night, and Victoria drank almost a whole bottle of wine. She was a bit tipsy to say the least. Derrick kept telling her to stop, but she kept right on drinking. She got all flirty, and giggly, and seriously annoying. She kept smiling at Derrick. She followed him around just like the old days. She obviously forgot every last bit of her secret agent training. At one point she could barely keep her eyes open, but she would not go to sleep until the guys went to sleep.

After she spent almost an hour telling Caleb how wonderful he is, Caleb returned the favor in that special BeastMode way he has:

Victoria: Love you Caleb
Caleb: Love you too.
   (insert extremely long awkward hug here)
Caleb: You done good. Not gonna say you are the best competitor.....
Victoria: Well, I have done good socially. I never stirred up anything, I stayed loyal
Caleb: Yep! You have done exactly all you needed to do. (which is his way of saying she has done absolutely nothing)
Victoria: Aww, thanks Caleb

While this was going on upstairs, Cody and Derrick were having their own very strange convo downstairs. First they swore to never, ever, nominate each other when they get to final four. They repeat this promise to each other several times. And then they decide that it might just be better to nominate each other after all!

This will make Caleb feel all comfy cozy with them, just in case he wins the veto. Maybe they are the ones who drank all the wine last night, because nowhere in this convo do they seem to remember that Caleb would be the only one voting in this scenario. Another no fail plan by the rag tag remnants of the Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever!

They all finally go to bed, but Derrick, Frankie, and Victoria are all up about an hour later because they can't sleep. It's cereal time! What would BB be without cereal, chips, chomping mouths , and smacking lips? Frankie takes his cereal outside and chomp-smacks away as he performs for the live feeders.

Then he tells us what he will do after BB. The life of a social media mogul-o-maniac superstar of Big Brother is rough on the body. Turns out he has a long list of doctors he plans to see ASAP. He tells his mom to start making appointments, STAT!!

• Dermatologist is his first stop.
• Podiatrist, for his left ankle and foot, which he says he injured in a comp
• Dentist, as he rolls his tongue around inside his mouth
• Orthopedic surgeon, for his back. His eyes go a little dreamy as he imagines the dire diagnosis 
• Complete blood work-up, to check his mercury levels from all the tuna he's been eating. His eyes are still a little dreamy, because blood work might reveal he has all kinds of parasites and poisons from the horrid conditions under which he has been forced to live for three months
• General Doctor, to catch anything the specialists might have missed
• Ear, Nose, & Throat Doctor, because, OMG, because of everything.
• And he needs to get his whole body waxed!!!

His mom is going to be pretty busy. Between making all these appointments, her twitter wars, and trying to get all those Ariana tween fans to stop tweeting and actually vote for Frankie to win America's Favorite Player, she has such a lot to do!

A little later Derrick is trying to talk some game sense into a still tipsy Victoria. He gets so frustrated that he almost slips and tells her he's a cop! Left alone after the convo, he tells us that was a very close call. He almost blew his entire game! He seems pretty shook up.

Well, they are all gonna be shook up today! The Fabulous Frankie Eviction should take place this afternoon!!! The hgs have been promised an activity day. This means BB will tape them doing something crafty while they pretend it's night time, to fool the BBAD viewers. BB is tricky that way!

As I write this, the hgs have awakened to discover tie dye kits in the storage room. They are mostly underwhelmed. Caleb is still listening for the doorbell, hoping for a celebrity with a diesel truck full of cash to walk in the door. They still have no idea about today's eviction as the feeds go down and we get those stupid Jeff videos.

Most likely the feeds will be down until after Tuesday's, or maybe even Wednesday's show. Typically, this is your chance to get some housework done, visit with friends you haven't seen all season, and stock up on snacks for this weeks episodes.  But you are all busy watching Utopia live feeds, so I fear there is no hope for you getting anything done before the eviction show.

Well, I for one have resisted all urges to sign up for my Utopia passport, free or paid. I just don't trust Fox with my personal info. I am Fox-phobic. And I can't get any of the other free Utopia feeds sites to work. So I guess it's up to me. There will be no dorky blog tomorrow. I'll be too busy slipping flat snack foods under your doors so you don't starve to death under Hex's new Anarchy regime!

                                      Have a Dorky Day!
 

Victoria's Extensions For The Win!!!

Yesterday I tuned into the feeds now and then. Mostly boring. The hgs are about to crack from that strange mix of pressure and boredom we see around this time every season. The end is so close, yet so far away. They have been locked up so long together they can't stand it one more second. They want so badly to stay in the game and win, but if they don't get out of that house right now, they might just go completely crazy. I kept checking in, hoping for the crazy.

Frankie plopped himself down in that stupid bird nest bed and tried his usual tricks on Caleb. He pats the bed and tells Caleb to come on over here, sit here next to me, come on, right here. Like he's talking to a dog. But this dog (Caleb) has learned some new tricks.

Caleb eventually does sit down on the bed, but he positions himself far away from Frankie. He rarely makes eye contact. He squashes every whiny, wheedling thing that Frankie comes up with to save his sorry butt. Frankie is doing all the same things that have worked on Caleb for this whole game, but they aren't working now. Frankie seems a bit lost here. He's saying all the right things, why isn't Caleb groveling at his feet? Frankie keeps trying to get close enough for a cuddle, but it's just not happening.

He finally pulls the charity card. He says that he is playing an honorable game because he would never want to win dirty money for his charity. Since Caleb has already argued that Frankie has all the jury votes because of that charity, Frankie's charity card is totally wasted on Caleb.  Frankie also pulls the world card. The world will hate Caleb if he betrays Frankie. Caleb's world is filled with recording contracts, acting jobs,  red carpets and limousines, so Frankie's world card is just litter at Caleb's superstar feet.
9/14  1:54 a.m. cam 3-4

Frankie leaves the HOH with absolutely no reassurances of safety from Caleb. His magic glitter wand isn't working anymore!  Where are his magical powers??? Frankie has no choice now but to call forth the dark twitter magic of Ariana's fans, to ensure that he wins Americas favorite Player.

In other news, Victoria is seriously considering going rogue! She complains to Derrick about everything she has to put up with in this house! She is fed up! She is the last girl standing, she has no one to talk to, she hates Cody with every fiber of her being, it's not fair! She wants to cause some drama! Victoria is ready to rumble!

She tells Derrick that she wants to have a one-on-one with Caleb. She wants to tell Caleb about her hair. This will make Caleb want to take her to the final two. She will tell him the true story of what happened to make her hair fall out, and then they will have a bond. And when he knows about her hair, he will know how badly she needs the money.

She says all this with that gleam in her eye, her secret agent-special-mission-gleam. Her hair story will be her biggest game move ever!!!  Derrick has to work hard to nip this silly plan in the bud. He tells her all the reasons why a sob story this late in the game would backfire, and probably send her packing. She backs down a bit, but you can tell she is still seriously considering this move. She is gonna go rogue, I just know it!
9/14  1:24 a.m.  cam 1

Will Ariana's fans win the twitter war and crown Frankie J. Grande as America's Most Hated Favorite Player?  And what is the true story of Victoria's hair? How can it save her game? Will she show Caleb her bloody scalp? Will Caleb be wearing her extensions at the veto ceremony today? They would look mighty fine with those damn bunny slippers.

                                                   Have a Dorky Day!

Bye Bye Frankie (Fingers Crossed)

Yesterday our dreams came true! Frankie did not win the POV! Now we just have to pray that he is evicted . Glory Hallelujah, Amen!

Yesterday morning we were all in a tizzy about a Team America convo between Frankie and Derrick. They were informed by the dr that if one of them wins BB he will receive another $50,000! At first we thought they were saying that they both had to make it to f2 to get this money. Twitter went crazy! Production conspiracy theories were flying left and right! We began to lose all hope of Frankie ever being evicted, if we ever really had any hope of this at all.

After the BB bogging experts had thoroughly examined the transcripts of this convo, we learned that only one of them has to make it to f2 and win. This news made us feel a little better, but not much. The thought of Team America getting that much additional money still made us pretty damn cranky.

When the feeds went down for the POV comp, we didn't really have much hope that anyone but Frankie would win the veto. Frankie had already won it once, why wouldn't he win it again?  Stupid gold button rewind twisted twist!

And then twitter went just crazy enough to distract us from our hopeless vigil. Allegedly, Frankie's mom asked Ariana fans to start tweeting #FrankieWinPov. And as this began trending, BB fans from all across the land were called to action.

Our battle cry? #AnyoneButFrankie. Those tween fans didn't even know what a POV is, but they were tweeting up a storm. And we were not having this!  Within 20 minutes #AnyOneButFrankie had smashed those tweens to smithereens! We showed them! HA!

By the time the twitter battle was over we didn't even really care about the POV comp anymore. We just wanted the Arianatators to see that we were a force to be reckoned with. The big lesson here was don't tween and tweet about our BB! So there!

The feeds return, and wonder of wonders, Cody has won the Veto! Yes! And as far as we can tell, the plan is still in place to evict Frankie. Caleb was pushing for a split vote, so that he could be the one to evict Frankie. The guys talk him out of this, and now the plan is to tell Frankie he is leaving the night before eviction.

Frankie was a manic little maniac after the comp.  He ran around the house pretending it was the most hilarious thing in the world that he lost the same two comps that he won last week. He says he is confident the guys will keep him safe. But you can tell he is pretty sure he will be going out the door.

We can only hope that this fear will develop into full blown paranoia in the next few days. We want to see him suffer. We need to hear him plead, and scheme, scramble and cry, and lose all sense of hope. We deserve this for having to put up with him all season.  He took our shiny happy newbie season and made it all about him.

And #AnyoneButFrankie can see the beauty of him leaving before Victoria, and so very close to final four!

                             Have a Dorky Day!

Frankie Has The Worst Day Ever! Yes!!!

Wowzer! Yesterday was a great day of live feeds!!! The fun began in the morning with a luxury comp alert, and lasted all day long, and into the night! Woohoo!

The hgs woke up to a message on the living room TV screen: "It's time for a Luxury Comp!" Oh my goodness, they got all kinds of excited! Caleb's delusions included every impossible luxury item in the universe, designed especially for him. Most of them were various combinations of celebrities, recording contracts, and a big ass diesel truck.

They were then locked up in the HOH with breakfast and the TV. The front door opened, and the jury members were back in the house! It was the best four minutes of feeds in days. The jury went berzerker in the BB house!!! They trashed every room!  Clothes, towels, dishes, food, and bedding were flying through the air! Oh happy day!!!

Zach threw Victoria's clothes on the living room table and danced the fandango while pouring Froot Loops all over the place. He was wearing his new pink hat and a huge grin! Jocasta went to town on destroying the kitchen. She poured honey, hot sauce, and garbage all over the place. She was a holy terror!

The hgs watched this all happen. The were laughing at first, but then they looked a wee bit worried. Hayden bent over to moon them, and that's when we got fish. When the feeds come back, we learn that Victoria and Hayden somehow won $5,000 each, the house is even more trashed than before, and the hgs are royally pissed off. Yes!!!

The hgs were teamed up with a jury member for the comp, which was a variation of the comp where they each go into the house to search for a token or chip to win the prize. But wait! There's more! A twisted twist that meant the hgs had to watch the jury members play the comp! The hgs didn't even get to play!  Plus, the jury had a chance to win money!!! Scandalous!

It was fabulous feeds for most of the afternoon! They were so angry! Their home had been invaded! Vandalized by disgusting, immature, evil people! They complained for hours! They had to clean up the mess the bitter jury had left behind, and they grumbled about the worst ever luxury comp the whole time.

Never before in the history of Big Brother has there ever been such a bitter, evil jury! The hgs repeat this over and over. They seem to believe the jury thought this whole thing up themselves. Like they snuck out of the jury house without permission. This is personal! This is their home!

Well mostly it's Frankie's home, and he is completely devastated. How dare they they come in here! It is a travesty that jury members got to play in the comp! He fears he may never recover from this very personal assault. It's BB sacrilege that evicted hgs had a chance to win money! Hayden won money! That's just cruel!!! It's not fair!

Meanwhile, Caleb is wearing those damn bunny slippers again. They must have been unearthed in the raid. I won't complain about them though. They may have given him the courage to nominate Frankie!

Hallelujah! Frankie and Victoria are on the block, and Frankie is not taking it well. First the home invasion, then the worst luxury comp ever, and now he is on the block!  Why are the strong and virtuous always tested in these terrible ways? He is loyal, and truthful, and good, and pure!

He takes several baths during the evening, so that he can tell the live feeders his troubles and woes while naked and surrounded by bubbles. And the whole time he does this, you can tell that he really wishes he could just let his nasty self out, and throw the biggest hissy fit of his life. He is really furious, but he tells us that everything that happened today has hurt his heart, and his soul. All of this while checking that the cams are still on him. He is one Grande piece of work!

The hgs spent a lot of time studying the memory wall for the morph comp rewind. Caleb and Frankie even devised their own study aids! Frankie cut a spy screen hole into a tortilla and held it up to the photos. This makes the guys a little nervous, seeing him so close to the memory wall, looking through a hole in a tortilla.

Caleb crafts a study mask from a paper towel and two panty liners. He says it gives him ninja powers, and hides his identity, all in one!  Derrick is wearing his daughters blanket on his head, but hasn't shared it's study enhancing capabilities with us yet. Cody is just trying to stay awake. All this concentrating is putting him to sleep. He needs someone to flirt with to keep him awake. Victoria joins them now and then, but her study look is no different than her everyday vacant stare we have seen all season.

At some point during study group, Caleb goes upstairs to listen to music and make a complete fool of himself on national tee-vee! He spends a good hour up there dancing and playing air guitar. He is crushing it! He is a beast! He tells us he is single. Ladies, come and get it! He is The Cowboy Of Love!

This leaves Cody, Derrick, and Frankie alone in front of the memory wall. They have a little meeting about the nominations. Frankie absolves them of all sins, and says he understands that it was all about Caleb's ego. After a brief exchange of  lies and misinformation, they all agree that they are not idiots. I'm not an idiot, you're not an idiot, we are not idiots! So that settles that!  And then their eyes wander up to the HOH, and they very quietly super-stealth-whisper that Caleb is the idiot. Shhhh! It's a secret!

While further data might be needed to confirm their own individual and collective idiocy, they are correct in crowning Caleb as their idiot king. When Caleb wasn't complaining about the jury and the luxury comp, he was mostly busy telling everyone why he will win the game and/or America's Favorite Player.  He goes on for hours about how damn good he is at this game. And he knows that the viewers are just loving him! He is just dadgum awesome!

He told Frankie that he nommed him because they were worried that if Frankie won the veto, he would use it on Victoria! They had a great cover story going, but Caleb just has to be honest and tell it like it is. He also told Frankie that he knows Frankie won't take him to the end, because Frankie knows Caleb will beat him. So, he basically told Frankie that they don't trust him anymore. Then, to secure his position as Idiot Supreme, he spent a good long while spilling the beans to Victoria about the history making Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever.

Watch out everybody! BeastMode Bunny-Slippers is back in the house!

                               Have a Dorky Day!

Production Has Left The Building!

What can I say? I have no words. Well, I have words, but they are not suitable for print. Suffice it to say I am quite cranky this morning. Cranky to the max. But that's old news. That's just a replay of how I felt last week. I'm on a cranky rewind.

Caleb won the HOH comp. The rewind HOH comp. The comp they have already played once. That we've already seen before. The comp that they didn't let us see the winner of on the show, again. The comp that maybe Frankie threw this time.

I can't decide on that one. Did he throw it to make sure he would be able to play in the next HOH?  I sure won't suggest this to Caleb, because he get's all crazy eyed about it. He crushed that comp! He is so great, and awesome, and crushing! No way Frankie threw that comp! Caleb crushed him! Lot's of crushing talk last night.

Derrick is now working double, triple, undercover overtime to keep his butt off the block. Victoria is working undercover too! Derrick has convinced her that she might be safe from leaving this week if they keep up the act.

Victoria is positively beaming when they talk about their secret mission. I love seeing her so happy to be finally playing the game. But I get all worried whenever they talk now. What if someone watching the HOH spy screen sees her smiling and talking with Derrick?  What if her cover is blown?

Meanwhile, they take a break from worrying about noms to study for the veto comp. The comp they already played once! Aaaarghhh! This rewind twist is so infuriating! Why did they do this stupid rewind?  Why, why, why??? Has production left the building? Or maybe production has been taken hostage, leaving the interns to run the show?  Did Allison Grodner just forget we already did this, or is she truly evil?

Let's just get this week over with!  But first, Julie wants us to vote on tarantulas? For another show? WTF?? I vote for lots and lots of hairy tarantulas.

But why should Julie have all the fun? I think all of production should join her. Let's punish them for dreaming up this ridiculous week of rewinds.  I say we throw them all in a giant box, with tarantulas and all sorts of nasty creepy crawlies, while wearing shock unitards, in between chum baths, after we shave their heads!  I could rewind that all the day long!

                                                   Have a Dorky Day!

CBS Stops BB16 Dead In It's Tracks!

Victoria was full of surprises yesterday. First we discover that Victoria is afraid of every animal on the planet except for Izzy the dog. She was lovin' on that dog! Izzy was pretty much irresistible. The guys all fell in love with that dog right away. So did the live feeders. For a few hours, the Zach birthday tweets tapered off, and the Izzy pics were trending in our own little BB corner of the world.

Then Izzy left, and we got back to this sad business of boring feeds. Victoria spiced it up for us when she finally talked to Frankie up in the HOH. Derrick had already set things up with the guys by telling them that Victoria was not speaking to him. Victoria didn't even ask Derrick if she could do his laundry!  All the guys noticed this. Things must be serious if she ain't doing his laundry!!!

Victoria did a great job with the Frankie talk. She didn't go overboard or get all dramatic. She cried just enough, at the right times, to convince him she was telling the truth.  Frankie seemed to be taking care not to throw Derrick under the bus as he tried to comfort her.  And Victoria's presentation was consistent with how she has been acting the whole game.  I think her mission was a success!

Later on Frankie told Derrick almost everything Victoria said. The guys now believe that Derrick has no chance of getting Victoria's vote if he makes it to final two. I think she deserves $5,000 for a successful task, don't you?

BB gave them a few beers and a teeny, tiny, bottle of wine. Victoria plans to act a little tipsy when she drinks that wine. She will then implement part two of her plan. I'm calling it her plan now, because she is definitely using her own strategy here. She'll talk more about how the jury hates Derrick. Then she'll begin to hint that she thinks Caleb is playing a good, clean, honest, trustworthy game. He deserves to win! He is so loyal! He is BeastMode!

This is all designed to convince Frankie and Cody that they shouldn't be taking Caleb anywhere near the final two.  But they all go to bed early, so she doesn't get much done in this department. She and Derrick sneak in a few secret talks before going to  sleep. She smiles her happy princess smile as she fills him in on what she has been up to. Victoria is really loving this whole Save Derrick plan.

Meanwhile, I am kind of cranky as I get myself ready for bed. All this Gold Button Rewind business has made for boring feeds and boring episodes.  As far as this week goes, Victoria might be doing the only thing that really matters. And tonight we don't even get an eviction!. At least not as far as I can figure things out.

All week long I have been fantasizing about the possibility of Frankie being evicted tonight! This is what has kept me going! It gave me hope! A reason to live!

But, once again, Julie smashes my dreams to smithereens! She told us right after Christine's eviction that if that damn gold button was pushed there would be no eviction tonight. She said the game will stop dead in it's tracks. WTF? No eviction? Can this be true?

I missed it. No matter how hard I try to listen to Julie, I always miss the most important thing she is saying. So I missed it when Julie told us that CBS is doing it's twisted best to ruin the last few weeks of this season even more with this stupid gold button rewind.

Oh well,  If BB wants to stop this game dead in it's tracks, who am I to argue? I'll just mosey on over to Utopia and see what kind of trouble Bella is causing already this morning. Then I'll watch me some CBBUK, and BBAU, and try to think some happy thoughts.

But I will still be cranky, no matter how much fun I might be having in other reality lands. I love BBUS. I stick it out every season. I'm still there when live feeders and bloggers don't even bother to check in on the live feeds, when they even stop watching the shows. One of my fave bloggers is so over this season he is boycotting the shows. He is writing brilliant recaps of the shows he won't be watching, before they air, and he nails it every time!

But I hang on to the very end. You'll find me tied to the twisted tracks of this most useless final five week ever.  I am a BBUS die hard.  And this season I am dying hard for sure.

                                                       Have a Dorky Day!

Fake Fight! Fake Fight!

Today BB will surprise the house guests with a dog. A dog for a day. America had the choice to vote in a bunny or a dog. Seriously. A dog for a day! I'm sure this will make for positively riveting live feeds. It has nothing to do with the game, but who cares about game anymore?  Look at the cute doggie!

Maybe it's a therapy dog, and Victoria will learn to love animals. She is gonna freak the fook out when they find that dog in the house. She's deathly afraid of dogs, and cats, and squirrels, and crows. Especially crows.

Plus, Victoria has other things on her mind today. Very important things. Last night she and Derrick came up with a plan to help Derrick stay in the game after Victoria leaves. Well, it's really Derrick's plan. He got a little worried earlier, when Caleb told him that Frankie said Derrick will have lots of jury votes because he is a family man. That's when Derrick started working on a plan.  Then he worked his magic on Victoria, and she thinks they came up with it together. Derrick is tricky that way.

Victoria will act like she is mad at Derrick because he told her he wouldn't be voting to keep her. She'll tell Frankie that she is so mad at Derrick for working with the guys that she will not vote for him if he is in the final two.  She will fake cry, and tell Frankie that Nicole told her that the jury hates Derrick. All of this is to convince Frankie that Derrick is not a threat, that he has no jury votes.  She will lie, and cry, and Frankie will believe her.

Fake fight!! Fake Fight!! Derrick tells her to go for it. He tells her that she can can be as nasty as she likes. He tells her how impressed he is that she can fake cry. The more they talk about this plan, the happier Victoria is. She is loving this!

The best part is that when she votes for Derrick to win, she will get to tell Frankie that this was all a lie! She will smash his dreams on national television!  And Derrick will win! And it will be because of Victoria! She is so excited that she wants to start right now!!!

Derrick thinks maybe they should do it later. They decide to start either this morning, or around 5:00 pm. And then, on Wednesday, if the gold button changes things, and Victoria stays, they will pretend to make up. He coaches her on what to say. She can say all kinds of bad things about him, that's cool. She says she knows exactly how to do this. She is sure that she can pull this off. She is so happy about this plan that she completely forgets that she will soon be voted out.

Fake fights in Big Brother rarely work. They usually involve a fake confrontation. And the fake fight always looks pretty much like a fake fight. It's all up to Victoria now. I hope she can do it. I don't really think that Derrick needs her help to stay. I just want to see Victoria trick Frankie with her fake fighting skills. You go girl!

Derrick takes a moment to tell the live feeders that he is taking a page out of Dan's play book, comparing this fake fight to Dan's funeral. Derrick, you are nothing like Dan. Dan worked his magic with three or four key words and a lot of listening. You need a thousand words, repeated over and over, to get things done. Dan sprayed a mind control mist, you wield a brain washing fire hose.

So, that's the plan. Fake fight and dog-for-a-day. Will Victoria be so freaked out about the dog that she forgets her lines? Or will she use her fear of all living creatures to give us the best fake fight we've ever seen?  Fake Fight FTW!!!

                                                 Have a Dorky Day!

Rewinds, Rat Patrols, And Cowtopia Sex! Oh My!

While everyone else was over in Utopia watching some night vision hanky panky, I was waiting for the results of the Veto comp.  I'm guessing that BB production got the memo about two Utopians having sex in the cow shed, because they turned on the feeds while the hgs were still locked in separate rooms, waiting for the timed comp to be over.

Sorry Big Brother, Victoria locked in the storage room can't compete with a cow cam and sexy, slurping, sound effects. I was pretty much the only one in chat still watching BB feeds.

Caleb is locked in the hive room, shouting out hashtags about being American. He is a Made In America BeastMode Cowboy! Then he starts rambling about tailgate parties and celebrating America.  This turns into a public service announcement about nose picking. "Don't be diggin' in yer nose!" Caleb, Caleb, Caleb! What in the world are you auditioning for now?

Derrick is pacing in the fire room. He is nervousing big time. Victoria is in the storage room with all that food, and so many mirrors! She is foraging, nibbling, and looking in the mirror every 5 seconds. Derrick is pacing like a madman, and Victoria is just sitting around reading labels. The only thing she seems worried about is how she looks while reading labels. Not a BB care in the world.

Frankie is locked up in the HOH room making sure the cameras are following his every move. He is performing his I-Am-So-Fabulous-I-Build-Schools-In-Africa monologue. We have about 5 minutes of this nonsense before an intern tears himself away from watching the Utopia cow/sex cam long enough to switch us back to stupid Jeff videos.

The feeds come back, and of course, Frankie won the Veto. He won it for his boys! To keep his boys safe! He is carrying these boys to the final four! He's won so many comps he can't even count them anymore! He is such a huge target now!  But it's all for his boys!  Frankie leaps, and twirls, and sings about his boys!

Meanwhile, Derrick, Caleb, and Cody are all busy counting Frankie's wins, while trying to remember when The-Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever changed it's name to Frankie's Boys.

Derrick and Frankie have a quick Team America meeting in the bathroom. Once again, they figure out a way to do the task in the most half-assed way possible. The task is to wear down the competition by convincing everyone there's a rodent in the house and keep them up all night trying to catch it.

That sounds like an all night task to me. I'm America!  I'm in this alliance too! So are you! If you were the least bit interested in this stupid task, wouldn't you want crazy Rat Patrol antics all night long?  Does Team America care a damn about America? Nope!

At 12:38 they decide that that they will just keep everyone awake playing pool. Then at 3:00 they will start the Rat Patrol. They will only have to keep it up till 6:00. Derrick wants to start at 2:00, making sure it's long enough. Frankie says no, 3:00 is fine, well within the parameters of the task. Team America has officially turned an all night task into a three hour let's-fool-production-and-America con job.

The Rat Patrol is amusing for a little while. Cody up on a chair is hilarious. Caleb is a fearless rat hunter who would have torn that kitchen apart if Derrick didn't get him busy making mouse traps. Victoria just screamed a lot. By 6:00 Team America is confident that they gave BB enough rat related shenanigans to win the task. None of the other hgs seem to question why, all of a sudden, it's okay to call off the rat patrol and go to bed.

So, Frankie's Veto win means nothing. The Gold Button Rewind makes it null and void, along with his noms, and his HOH win. This makes me a wee bit happy.  But it makes me wonder if that golden button truly rewinds everything.

Does the rewind also work on the TA task? Snatching the $5000 right from their hands? Making us shout with glee at another overwhelming fail? Yes. please!

                                                   Have a Dorky Day!

OK! Let's Play Big Brother! Who Want's To Be The Britney?

Well, another day of boring feeds. I never learn. I figure it's nomination day and maybe we'll have a surprise. Maybe Frankie's noms will bring us a little excitement!  Maybe I'm a fool! Ya think?

The feeds go down for hours, and when they come back, still no noms. Turns out that Jeff & Jordan were in the back yard getting engaged!  Imagine that! And there was a party!  With cake, and champagne, and music!  Who cares?

I love Jordan, she's a hoot!  And Jeff is okay, I guess. But I don't care if they get married. If you love them, if you care about this engagement, good for you. I'm fine with that. I'm not bashing Jeff & Jordan. I just want the nom ceremony to be over, so that I can start complaining about it!

By the time the noms come I have already given up. I don't even care anymore. Frankie noms Cody and Victoria, as promised.  By now I have turned off the feeds. I'm just checking in with twitter for nom updates, and to see if Julie Chen has finally decided what the Gold Button Rewind rules really are. The last report said that Derrick would not be eligible to play in the Rewind HOH competition. Are you sure Julie? Can we finally quote you on that???

I check back with the feeds later in the evening, and it's Victoria that brings me a little joy. She is up in the HOH with Frankie. It's a meandering convo that ends up with both of them chomping on chips, but it was worth watching. Frankie pretends that he was completely oblivious to how evil Christine was, and Victoria pretends to believe him. 

And just when I'm thinking that maybe Victoria is finally understanding this game of Big Brother, she proves me wrong. She tells Frankie that she is so proud to be the last woman standing! She is so happy that she lasted longer than Christine.  And then she says "I'm so glad I crushed her dreams of being Britney in The Brigade!"

9/6 1:50 a.m. cam 1

Oh my goodness Victoria!  You don't want to be Britney in The Brigade. You hope and pray you will never be the Britney, because the Britney gets voted out!!!  Will she ever understand this game?  I don't think so.  Even if she makes it to the final two, even if she wins, I don't think she will ever really get it. And if she makes it that far, I guess it didn't really matter anyway.

Later on, when it's finally bedtime in the BB house, Victoria decides to ask some serious questions about sex. They are all in the fire room with the lights out. She addresses her questions to Cody, but all the guys join in and offer up their words of wisdom. 

Victoria, honey, sweetie, do you really want to learn about sex from these nasty boys? Caleb is a BeastMode Stalker!  Frankie is Vulgar-To-the Max!  Cody would flirt with your sister, mother, and grandmother all at the same time! They are the reason someone will make a Bow-Job montage about you on YouTube!!!  And you want them to answer your sex questions?  

9/6 3:08 a.m. cam 2

Two months ago this girl would not sleep in the same room with a man. Last night she was getting ready to sleep in a bedroom with four guys, and decided to ask them all about sex. She may have come a long way since walking into the BB house, but I'm a little worried about where she might end up.  I'm gonna throw some birdseed over the BB wall. Only the crows can save her now.

                                         Have a Dorky Day!

Boo! Hiss! Hooray!!!

Christine walked out of the BB house and the audience booed her loud and clear! It was awesome! I loved it! I've never heard a BB audience boo like that.  I have wanted them to boo plenty of times, but BB runs that audience with an iron fist. The live audience response is as scripted as most of the drs we've been seeing lately. Last night the boos for Christine were music to my ears.

Christine was just so mean! She griped about everything, all the time. She hated everyone! She loved to talk about how much she hated people. She would sit there on the bed, holding a Bible in her lap, and just randomly announce that she hated someone.

Last night I didn't even feel the least bit guilty that those boos made me so happy. And I didn't feel bad for her at all. Christine seems like the kind of person that would have jumped at the chance to be in that audience, booing her most hated house guest. And she would have sneaked in a few hisses, just because!

Those boos really had the other hgs freaked the fook out!  They seemed totally confused, and upset, to hear the audience respond so negatively. They were ready to hide underneath the beds and never, ever, leave the Big Brother house.

But Frankie took control, and shared his theory about those boos. He is certain that she talked trash about his sister in the diary room! And his fans didn't like that one bit. There is absolutely no other explanation. She trashed his family and the fans have spoken.

He said this over and over again throughout the night. He insists that she hated the fact that he is a Grande, that his sister is a superstar Grande, and that his last name is Grande. And it's obvious to him that she trashed the Grande name in the diary room. He plans to say his last name a hundred times in his goodbye message to her. Grande, Grande, Grande!  Frankie is suffering from a Grande delusion about those boos, and there is no telling him otherwise.

Ok, moving right along, we then have some minor freaking out about the gold button. Derrick seems the most upset by its presence. He is still in shock from having won the shortest HOH comp in the history of Big Brother.  That gold button is pushing his panic buttons.

Caleb knows all about the gold button. He describes, in detail, how the button will bring him a recording contract, a trip to Hawaii, and large cash prizes.  Frankie takes control again, and gives a little speech about gold buttons, and how they work in Big Brother. Then he brags some more about how fabulous he is for winning that veto! Did you see him win? Did you see how he won? Did you know he won? Did you know he is fabulous, and that he won the veto?  He is just so damn fabulous!

Some time passes, the feeds go down, and when they return, Voila! Frankie has won the second HOH comp.  The gold button has a sign that says it's their choice, all it takes is one push.  Frankie wants to push it! Please, please, please, let's push it! And moments later, they do it! A countdown clock shows us that the zero hour is Wednesday night.

We know that the gold button pushing resulted in a rewind. At the zero hour, live voting will stop and the game will rewind, dethroning Frankie and pulling his noms off the block. Then the week will be replayed, starting with a new HOH comp. The only mystery that remains is whether Derrick will be eligible to play in that comp.

We know all this twisted gold button info, but the hgs still know nothing. Lots of speculation and paranoia about that button. It looks like Victoria and Cody will be the noms. Will this week be a big waste, since everything will be flipped come eviction night? Or will it be great fun to watch Frankie scheme and plan and manipulate all for nothing? Will Frankie's ego take on a life of it's own? Will Caleb, Cody, and Frankie practice a Chippendales review in front of those damn mirrors?

And let's not forget the most important detail of all. Victoria is the last woman standing in BB16! You go girl! Victoria FTW!!!

                                       Have a Dorky Day!

Derrick! Stop That!!!

Wouldn't it be great if we were all excited about tonight? Double eviction! Woohoo!

If only Derrick hadn't sucked all the fun out of this season. His game play leaves no room for fun. It's all work, work, work. Derrick works double-triple-overtime. Undercover, incognito, very hush-hush. Stealth-mode to the max.

Boring. Monotonous.Tedious. Irksome. Humdrum.

So uninteresting as to cause mental weariness.

Quoting the dictionary or thesaurus is the last resort of a mentally weary writer.  But it's so perfect for today that I'm gonna run with it.

Boring implies feelings of listlessness and discontent.

     Yes. We have all been feeling a bit listless lately.  And I, for one, was not feeling content as I watched Derrick bring Nicole to tears yesterday. She told him that as far as she can figure out, there must be a large alliance running the house.  She then implied that he must be in this alliance.  He proceeded to make her feel like a horrible person for even thinking such a thing.

He told her that when she watches this season, she will feel really dumb for saying this. She crumbled as soon as he used the word dumb.  Her biggest fear the entire season has been that she would be seen as being either dumb or mean. She spent the next hour crying apologies to him. Then, she promised him her vote, and sat down to help him study!

Once again, Derrick turns it around to his advantage. And it should have been exciting to watch. Derrick is playing a great game. He is quite gifted at hypnotizing these dodo-heads into doing exactly what he wants them to do. But he is doing it so well that it pretty much ruins the game for us feed watchers.  Derrick has wrung all of the magic out of watching him work his magic. It just makes us cranky.

What is monotonous bores because of lack of variety.

     Well, that about sums it up! Derrick is a one man Anti-Variety Squad.  He patrols 24/7 and seeks out the smallest bit of game changing talk and squashes it like a bug.  We like the house to flip! We love things to turn on a dime!  We want a power shift!  Nope. Not on his watch!

Tedious suggests dull slowness or long windedness.

     Exactly! It used to be fun to watch Derrick make a hg feel like it was their idea to do whatever he needed them to do.  But now it takes him even longer to get results. Talk talk talk talk talk!!! He eventually get's the job done.  But for us, the thrill is gone.

Irksome describes what is demanding of time and effort and yet is dull and often unrewarding.

    Translated into BB lingo: "Man, I can't even watch the feeds anymore, it hurts my head! Derrick is pissing me off!  He has the game so tied up it's not worth watching!"

I want to hope that tonight's double eviction will be so awesome that we all stay up the whole night watching amazing feeds! And if no one has the guts to get Frankie out, I'm sort of hoping Frankie tries to get Derrick out. You know things are bad when you want Frankie to win HOH!

Derrick's game is just so boring, monotonous, tedious, irksome, and humdrum that I would be happy with any excitement at all. Maybe a week of Frankie being a full blown egomaniacal prima donna HOH is just what we need right now. Gawd help us all. Amen.

                                            Have a Dorky Day!

This post was brought to you by thefreedictionary.com , which is where I will be browsing instead of watching the feeds today

I Want A Banner Plane And I Want It Now!!!

The feeds were more of the same yesterday. Mostly boring, with plenty of lying and butt kissing. They are all trying to set themselves up for safety for a double eviction on Thursday night.  It's impossible to tell whether they are lying or truthing. And do we really care? Let's just go directly to the double eviction and get this season over with already!!

Caleb isn't kissing much butt. His strategy seems to be "Let me tell you what a BB beast I am and then we'll talk some game."  His ego knows no bounds. Yesterday, when he did his HOH blog and tweets, BB gave him a few fan questions to answer. One fan asked what kind of girl he likes. Caleb now believes that BB is his personal dating service.

He is convinced that his answer to this question will bring him thousands of "applicants" to fill the position of girlfriend.  He imagines they will pay $500 for a chance to date him.  He got so excited as he told the guys about this that he had to run to the dr to make sure they were clear on the job description: "Don't love me for my looks, or my truck, just give me $500 and we'll get along real good!"

Victoria has refused to kiss any butt. Derrick tells her to stop spending so much time with Nicole.  He explains that Nicole can't do anything for her game. Victoria needs to be talking to Cody and Frankie and Christine! Victoria say NO!  She doesn't want to. She won't do it! Not one single butt will be kissed by her princess lips!

This is what you end up with if you carry someone through the game. When it finally comes down to it, Derrick has spent endless hours managing Victoria's moods. It's hard, thankless work. And here they are, on double eviction eve, and she finally says NO! What is a master manipulator to do?

Let's see...hmm..anything else happen lately?  Hmmm..Christine told Frankie about coffee enemas and he got a faraway look in his eyes. No..that's not it....hmmm. Oh yeah, I remember now!

A BANNER PLANE FLEW OVER THE HOUSE!!! Yes! Well, allegedly.  We had a long indoor lock down and there were many reports of a banner plane flying over the area. "FRANKIE & DERRICK R THE SABOTEURS" was the alleged message.  If the hgs saw it they aren't telling. And we sure didn't see it. Dammit!

I love the banner plane. I think it's so wild that a fan would spend that kind of money to fly a message over the house! I thrill at the potential for creating paranoia and panic. A shout over the wall is one thing. Those are free. But a plane costs some dollars, takes some commitment. A banner plane is hard to dismiss as poppycock, the way they've  been doing with the shouts. Caleb would take one look at that message and say "I been in the military, and that there banner plane ain't no poppycock!"

I wonder what it's like for people in the neighborhood.  If they don't know diddly about BB, what are they thinking when they see that message fly across the sky? Maybe they have a boss named Derrick! Or a boyfriend named Frankie!  Maybe they are googling "saboteur" and changing their locks right now! I think about the pilot. Is this a risky business?  Will the men in black soon be paying him/her a visit?  Will the pilot give up his client when Julie says "I need an answer now!"?

The thought of this alleged banner plane amused and entertained me for hours.  I imagined myself chartering a banner plane to fly over the BB house. My message? "FRANKIE IS REALLY 31 YEARS OLD!" It might not change the game, but it would really piss Frankie off!  It's a sad day when my imaginary BB life is more fun than my real one.

                                                    Have a Dorky Day!

Red FTW!!! (oops!...wrong feeds!)

Days and days of boring BB feeds brought to you by Caleb wimping out on his plans to backdoor Frankie. It's pitiful. It's infuriating. It's dad-gum crazy!

I didn't have much hope for this plan anyway. But it sure would have been a fun week of feeds. I was kind of looking forward to watching Frankie freak the fook out. I wanna see him scramble, and cry, and plead, and scheme, and ultimately fail! I want me some good BB!!!

The way things are going it may never happen. This week's double eviction might be our only hope. But double evictions are tricky.  The hg's are all hyped up and go into panic mode.  They get freaked out at the idea of making a big move that they might have to pay for 20 minutes later. Will anybody have the guts to nom Frankie?  They are all talking big talk right now, but I doubt any of them will do it. I feel a cranky coming on!

Meanwhile, Frankie is giving Caleb some social media mogul advice. Today Caleb gets to do his HOH blog and tweets. Frankie tells Caleb to blog about him! What a great idea!  Caleb can blog about how he was considering putting Frankie on the block, but then made the best decision of his life when he didn't do it! Blog about meeeeeeeeeee!!! Tweet about meeeeeeeeee!

Frankie is acting like it's no big deal that his alliance talked about backdooring him. I'm not buying it. Are you?  I think that if Frankie wins either double evic HOH comp this week he will take his revenge on them in Grande style. We will be treated to a major production of the Frankie Show. If this happens, it will be both horrible and wonderful to behold.

And what is to become of Victoria?  Does everyone secretly want to end up in a f2 with her?  Is that the only winning strategy for BB16?  And what about us?  At this point in the game, do we loathe them all so completely that we want Victoria to make it to the end and win? Is this what we have come to?

Three more weeks till the finale. The real question is what will become of us?  Will we make it to the end?  This season is in such a sad state that the fans might just start yelling Utopia shout outs over the wall of the BB house!  But we will miss it, because we'll all be over in Utopia signing up to join Red's Utopia State Of Freedom! Red FTW!!!

                                            Have a Dorky Day!