Derrick! Stop That!!!

Wouldn't it be great if we were all excited about tonight? Double eviction! Woohoo!

If only Derrick hadn't sucked all the fun out of this season. His game play leaves no room for fun. It's all work, work, work. Derrick works double-triple-overtime. Undercover, incognito, very hush-hush. Stealth-mode to the max.

Boring. Monotonous.Tedious. Irksome. Humdrum.

So uninteresting as to cause mental weariness.

Quoting the dictionary or thesaurus is the last resort of a mentally weary writer.  But it's so perfect for today that I'm gonna run with it.

Boring implies feelings of listlessness and discontent.

     Yes. We have all been feeling a bit listless lately.  And I, for one, was not feeling content as I watched Derrick bring Nicole to tears yesterday. She told him that as far as she can figure out, there must be a large alliance running the house.  She then implied that he must be in this alliance.  He proceeded to make her feel like a horrible person for even thinking such a thing.

He told her that when she watches this season, she will feel really dumb for saying this. She crumbled as soon as he used the word dumb.  Her biggest fear the entire season has been that she would be seen as being either dumb or mean. She spent the next hour crying apologies to him. Then, she promised him her vote, and sat down to help him study!

Once again, Derrick turns it around to his advantage. And it should have been exciting to watch. Derrick is playing a great game. He is quite gifted at hypnotizing these dodo-heads into doing exactly what he wants them to do. But he is doing it so well that it pretty much ruins the game for us feed watchers.  Derrick has wrung all of the magic out of watching him work his magic. It just makes us cranky.

What is monotonous bores because of lack of variety.

     Well, that about sums it up! Derrick is a one man Anti-Variety Squad.  He patrols 24/7 and seeks out the smallest bit of game changing talk and squashes it like a bug.  We like the house to flip! We love things to turn on a dime!  We want a power shift!  Nope. Not on his watch!

Tedious suggests dull slowness or long windedness.

     Exactly! It used to be fun to watch Derrick make a hg feel like it was their idea to do whatever he needed them to do.  But now it takes him even longer to get results. Talk talk talk talk talk!!! He eventually get's the job done.  But for us, the thrill is gone.

Irksome describes what is demanding of time and effort and yet is dull and often unrewarding.

    Translated into BB lingo: "Man, I can't even watch the feeds anymore, it hurts my head! Derrick is pissing me off!  He has the game so tied up it's not worth watching!"

I want to hope that tonight's double eviction will be so awesome that we all stay up the whole night watching amazing feeds! And if no one has the guts to get Frankie out, I'm sort of hoping Frankie tries to get Derrick out. You know things are bad when you want Frankie to win HOH!

Derrick's game is just so boring, monotonous, tedious, irksome, and humdrum that I would be happy with any excitement at all. Maybe a week of Frankie being a full blown egomaniacal prima donna HOH is just what we need right now. Gawd help us all. Amen.

                                            Have a Dorky Day!

This post was brought to you by thefreedictionary.com , which is where I will be browsing instead of watching the feeds today

Bye-Bye Zach, Hello Nicole! Frankie...Shut Up!!!

Okay..so...Zach left, Nicole came back, there was no endurance comp, Cody won HOH, and Frankie tried his best to make everything about him. Poop-a-doop!

Zach leaves the house with a sprinkle of Froot Loops and a whole lot of class. This is really hard on Frankie because he loves the guy, but he had to go with what the house wanted. Zach gets to have lots-o-fun in jury house, but Frankie has to live with this really difficult, heartbreaking thing he had to do. It's so hard to be Frankie right now.

Nicole wins her way back into the game, and she tells Frankie his sister was in the audience on double eviction night! It's so great you are back in the house Nicole, but tell me more about my sister! And Nicole saw my sister's billboard!  I mean, My Sister! She has a billboard!

The Bomb Squad has an emergency meeting and Derrick commands them all to never speak to Nicole behind closed doors. No one-on-one convos with Nicole allowed. Derrick is positively petrified that Nicole will try to defend herself against all the lies he and the Bomb Squad have told each other about her. After they all agree to this plan, Frankie leaves the room to give Nicole a smoochy hug, and tell her how happy he is that she is back. And now he wants to hear more about his sister's billboard!

And then, Cody wins the HOH. Frankie tells him they make such a great team! Frankie hosting, and Cody winning, that's teamwork!  Yay for Frankie!  Within minutes of the HOH reveal, Frankie shows up with his bags to move in for the week. Cody says please, please, can I just sleep alone for one night?  Is that okay Frankie? Don't be mad, please, please.  Ugh! And double ugh!

Nicole does manage to get some alone time with Cody. How did that happen? Where is the Bomb Squad special battalion of the Closed Door Patrol?  Slacking already!  Her talk with Cody does her no good whatsoever, but at least she tried.

The night devolved into a Donny and Nicole bash-fest. We had a brief intermission when Victoria was whining to Derrick about her Zings. She is worried that people think she is not playing the game. She is playing, playing hard! She cut up Zach's hat didn't she?  She doesn't want to disappoint production! Production? WTF??

He seemed really irritated by her whining. He had to talk her down while keeping an eye on all those closed doors. And where is Nicole? She could be unraveling his spool of lies this very minute! Derrick's paranoia is working triple overtime, and Victoria is getting on his last nerve.

It's gonna be a long week for feed watchers. We are hoping for a Pandora's box intervention. Visions of  the Diamond Power Of Veto dance in our head.  Can Nicole survive the week so that she can win the next HOH comp? Which, by the way, better be endurance, or live feeders everywhere will be turning off the live feeds forever! Will Donny find a Pop-Tarts coup d'etat next time he visits the diary room?  I hope so!

But if things keep going the way they are, and it looks like Donny is heading to the jury house, I sure hope he jumps right into the middle of the next Bomb Squad cuddle-fest and asks them all to play with his beard.

As Donny would say: If you can't beat them, do your best to freak them the hell out!

                                                               Have a Dorky Day!

The Night Of The Living Bomb Squad

Just when you think it's deader than dead, the Bomb Squad arises from the grave to wreak havoc on the house once again. The alliance of eight is down to six in it's newly resurrected form. Christine, the current HOH, has been welcomed back into the squad to perform various nefarious deeds.

Last night the guys decided that Nicole was their next target. Actually, she is their fourth target this week. Two of the first three were members of the Bomb Squad, Frankie and Christine. But let's just forget about all that nonsense and work together for a new, and better, final six.  And while we're at it, let's blame Nicole for the first two targets!

Christine lounges in her bird nest bed while holding court. Earlier in the evening she had informed Victoria that she would be the replacement nom, and Donny was the target. This was the plan for target number three. Donny was considered the biggest threat in all the land right up until Christine, Frankie, and Caleb returned from their football field trip.

It turns out that Frankie was a little cranky during the football luxury.  He didn't like all the rules production had for a visit to the outside world.  He demanded coffee and all kinds of things a diva needs when traveling incognito to a VIP venue. He complained all day about how much he hated everyone in the house. He was so glad to get away from them! Kiss-kiss! Love you!!!

And he seems extra cranky that Caleb got shout outs from the crowd and he didn't! Frankie is the famous mogul-o-maniac! He is the one with a superstar sister! Enough with the BeastMode Cowboy fans, where are his legions of followers?

Caleb and Frankie were supposed to work on Christine about noms while they were off having fun. Feeling her out about Nichole and Victoria as replacement noms. Gently guiding her to one of the girls to ensure that none of the guys go up. But they returned from the trip with the news that they were not allowed to talk game at all. This sounds mighty suspicious, but even Caleb says it's true, so the guys are believing it for now.

Frankie is tired, and just wants to nap in the HOH room. The one he claimed after he won the BOB all by himself.  But the no game talk rule today means that Frankie can't just go right to sleep now that he's back in the BB house.  He has work to do. This makes him a wee bit more grumpy.

Franky puts his cranky pants on and corners Nicole in the hive room.  He still has his tits in an uproar after hearing that Nicole repeated something he said about Victoria. Something that he denies ever saying. Something that he considers vile, and horrible, and vicious, even though he actually did say it.

He told Christine that he would have Victoria in his pocket after he reels her in with his sister. Christine told Nicole, and Nicole told Victoria. Caleb heard her and told Frankie. And Frankie has spun this into a plot to get Nicole out of the house on the grounds of being pure evil.

Nicole does not want to be alone in a room with Frankie. Frankie expects to shame her, blame her, and then make nice and get her on his side.  But Nicole is not having this. She gets out of that room as fast as she can. Frankie is taken by surprise by her quick escape. That talk sure didn't go according to plan. While we are all rooting for Nicole after she stands up to Frankie, we are certain sure that this has sealed her fate as the replacement nom.

Derrick has been working his crew to set the plan in motion to get Nicole nommed. Frankie is now fully committed to this plan. Hours ago he announced that he should stay out of it, and let Caleb and Zach do all the work. But, after his brainwashing session with Nicole went kablooey, he races upstairs to set Christine up for the unveiling of the new target.

An hour later the mission to evict Nicole is official. All systems go. The Bomb Squad is reborn! Let's not talk about how they cannibalized their own by evicting Devon and Amber.  Don't focus on the fact that they have all targeted each other numerous times in the last few weeks, not to mention the past 72  hours. We won't dwell on how many times the squad, and it's many sub-alliances, have been outed to the entire house.

The zombie remnants of the Bomb Squad breathes in the pink light of forgetfulness. When their minds wander, and they have bad thoughts about Frankie having already won America's Favorite Player, they focus on their happy place. They release all negative energy about those damn schools in Africa.

They avert their eyes when Christine goes to sleep in the rock room, leaving Frankie to sleep in the HOH in solitary luxury. They all drift of to bed, to dream the dreams of the living dead. They are the now officially the Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history!
                     
                                                                Have a Dorky Day!

Drama For Dummies

Zach wins the veto and now he is safe for the week. Safe equals boring to Zach, so he decides that now is a good time to confess all his sins to Victoria. The only detail of his confession that seems to matter to Victoria is that Derrick was working with some other people besides her.

Then the tears begin. Victoria is always crying to someone about something. And while she is crying she keeps repeating that she doesn't want to start any drama. But people are horrible, she is disgusted, everyone is so mean! She wants to self evict!!! But seriously, she doesn't want to cause any drama.

Last night, the drama she doesn't want to cause is all about Derrick.  He betrayed her! It feels like he cheated on her! She doesn't want to be here anymore. She needs to talk to Zach one more time, so that she can be upset all over again.  Maybe if she cries to him about her broken heart, she can be sure there won't be any drama! And maybe Derrick will find out how much she wants to avoid drama, and he will come talk to her!

Well, what could be more dramatic than a house meeting?  Everyone but Christine and Donny gather in the HOH room to confront Zach about a little lie he told earlier. Zach freely admits that he lied to Derrick about Nicole being the cause of Victoria's current melt down. He told a little lie. And he told her all about everyone's alliances. But he never meant any harm. He really didn't mean to throw Derrick under the bus. Really, he was just telling Victoria about his game. What is all the drama about?

The house meeting fizzles out, and the guys are left to do some damage control. They concoct some crazy plan for Zach to say he made up all the alliances he revealed in his confession. Another perfect, no fail, plan by the best worst alliance in all of BB. Seriously, these guys spend hours together talking game and think that nobody will ever suspect them of working together.  Their alliances have been outed how many times?

Meanwhile, Frankie starts a little drama of his own. Frankie learns that Nicole told people that he said he will have Victoria in his back pocket after he reels her in with his famous sister. Frankie did say this. But he acts like this is a direct insult to his sister. He says that there is an army of Ariana fans who will take care of Nicole.  He is very upset about this, and works himself into a mini hissy fit. Nicole is now his number one target.

Derrick snaps to attention and assures Frankie that he doesn't even speak his sisters name in the diary room. It's so damn weird. Are there rules about famous people I don't know about?  Are we not allowed to talk about them? Isn't the whole point of being famous having people talk about you?

Frankie says he doesn't want to start any drama. He sighs, and pouts, and looks like he is gonna cry. Derrick tells him nobody is gonna talk trash about his sister.  Frankie says they better not!  He does his best to look completely pitiful. He tells Derrick he is okay, he doesn't want any drama. Then he heads to the diary room to place an emergency call to the Famous Police, to press charges against Nicole.

                                                Have a Dorky Day!!

My Name Is Frankie Grande And I Am A Mogulomaniac

The plan was in place to get Frankie on the block.  Caleb would throw the Battle of The Block, he and Frankie would lose to Donny and Zach, and it's a done deal. A perfect plan, unless one or one hundred things go wrong!  The feeds go down, and the battle begins.

Hours later, when the feeds return, we discover that Frankie won the Battle of the Block, all by his lonesome!. Plus, he won a field trip to a football game for himself, Caleb, and Christine!  And he won a slop pass! Things quickly spiral out of control from there. Another night of crazy good feeds.

The kind of feeds that make you want to smash your computer to smithereens every time Frankie opens his mouth. Because when Frankie speaks, the feeling of disgust and outrage at his words makes you cringe. You want to look away, but you can't. Ugh.

Frankie had informed everyone in the house that he would be talking to them later about... um...things. He dropped cryptic hints all day about this. After the comp he would tell them...umm..things..um...good things....about...ummm...stuff...about why he is there.....and things!

And tell he did!  But first, after he tries unsuccessfully to get Zach to talk with him, he annouces that he may have to get production to lock Zach in a room by himself  if he isn't going to behave.  He doesn't want Zach to ruin his talk with everyone.. He actually says this.  Then, as he gathers the guys together to move into the fire room, a sulking but quiet Zach included, he says this:

                                  "Producers! We are moving into the fire room!"

When they all get settled into he room he says this:

                                     "Are the cameras in place?"

And with those words, it is obvious to all of us feed watchers around the world, that this is the beginning of yet another segment of The Frankie Show, sponsored by BB production. What follows is one of the most disgusting confessionals in BB history. He tells Caleb, Derrick, Cody, and Zach that he has been lying to them the entire game. He wants to tell them who he really is. And then he says this:

 " I am social media mogul, a YouTube star with a gazillion followers, and my sister is a mega-super pop star, and I am here to donate my winnings to charity, my charity that I founded, to build schools in Africa"

And things go downhill from there. Down the hill we go in a big, slimy, egotistical mudslide designed to wash away all of Frankie's sins. Thus begins a night of shock and awe that throws the house guests into pandemonium. Complete with Frankie sending us to fish every fifteen minutes as he burst into song. An Ariana Grande song to be precise. He also warns the hgs that he can say Ariana's name, but they are not allowed. WTF??

To insure the sympathy votes were secure, he threw his grandfathers death into the mix as the reason he betrayed Zach and the alliance! If I was a real live BB update blogger, I would have to transcribe all of the ridiculously arrogant words he uttered last night. Thank gawd I am just a dorky little blogger with no such responsibility. I leave that to the professionals. And may gawd bless and protect those poor souls who had to listen, and re-listen, to his sniveling drivel to get the words right. Please pray for them. Amen.

I am still stuck on his first words about being an internet mogul. Who says that?  I consult my resident expert on all things pertaining to the English language. I ask her if anyone would ever refer to themselves as a mogul.? Is that the proper use of the word? She says no. It's a word that someone might use to describe you, but you would never use it to describe yourself. Unless you were maybe Donald Trump.  HA!

So we had a long night of star struck hgs pretending not to care a damn about who Frankie and his sister are. Caleb couldn't hide his starry eyes as he tells Frankie that in the game he doesn't care who Frankie is, but after the show can Frankie hook him up?

Frankie responds by scheduling a limo to take everyone to Justin Bieber's house. I don't know if that will happen before everyone gets to sing on his sister's next double-triple-platinum-single, or after they all attend the My-Sister-Is-One-Level-Above-Beyonce Award Show.  And somewhere in the Frankie Tour schedule, he simply must pencil in his next YouTube video, which of course they will all be starring in.  Seriously, I am pretty sure all this is in the works!

It's a monkey-barrel of emotions in the BB house by now. Nicole is crying her eyes out because she is the one who nommed Frankie. She now believes she will be seen as a villain. She is completely freaking out about this. Remember her fake fight with Hayden, and how she broke down and said she couldn't do it because viewers would think she was mean?  Nicole worries about how she is perceived, and all this famous Frankie business just makes her want to curl up and cry.

Vicroria has a little cry-fest of her own involving her mysterious hair loss, Frankie, and his sister. It turns out that Ariana lost her hair tooooooooo!! And when Victoria had a meltdown about her extensions being revealed on BB, Frankie comforted her, and mentioned his sister had the same thing happen to her hair. But he didn't say his sister was FAMOUS! He didn't tell her she was ARIANA GRANDE! And for some crazy reason, this breaks Victoria's heart.

While Victoria and Nicole are busy giving each other pep-talks, the guys are plotting.the next best move of the worst ever BB alliance. They never give up. Derrick is working overtime now. He has to get these guys motivated. Zach has been in a stupor since Frankie revealed his super-hero powers. He keeps saying "He's building schools in Africa dude, I'm fooked!"

Frankie announces that he will be sleeping in the HOH room so that everybody can have their own bed tonight. Once again he is doing things for the good of all. Such sacrifices he makes!

I just can't take it any more!! I finally turn off the feeds around 1:00 a.m. BB time. I am  already dreading the next few CBS shows. Frankie has ruined them with his confessional. And now the feeds will be filled with Frankie name dropping, and singing, and all kinds of Frankie show business talk. Ugh, and double ugh!!

As I reach to click the feeds off I catch this little tidbit. Frankie walks through the dining area with his bag packed for his move to the HOH room. He is on his way to take a bubble bath and relax in HOH luxury.

Christine and Cody are talking, and doing their flirty thing, and Frankie stops to chat and recap his day:

"Wow! Were noms just this morning?? Today I was nommed,  I was shunned all day,  I kicked ass in the competition and won it all by myself,  and I won a field trip to a football game.  And now I am the most popular girl in the house!!!"

It's a crazy world, this BB world! And tonight, on the feeds, Frankie gave us a guided tour of it's dark underbelly. I know we have long days ahead filled with conspiracy theories of production manipulating things for Frankie's benefit.  I have my own theory that most of tonight's festivities were a direct result of Frankie manipulating production. But hey, that's show business! ((curls up in fetal position and remains catatonic for the rest of the season))

                                                       Have a Dorky Day!

                                                       

Double Whammy Aftermath

When the feeds come back on after an amazing double whammy, double blindside, double eviction show, we are treated to all sorts of good fun! Nicole is in the kitchen calling out Frankie and Christine, and telling everyone how things went down this week. She embraces her inner feisty-quirky-froot-loop-dingus, and she is ready to rumble! And then... she cries.

Christine swoops in and whisks Nicole into the hive room to comfort her. To Christine, comfort includes lies, manipulation, and profuse claims of innocence in all the nefarious schemes that have transpired. It begins to look like Nicole is believing Christine's lies. Nicole says she believes her, but maybe she is lying about that. And this sets the theme for the night. It's impossible to know who is lying to who about what.

Meanwhile, there is a brief interlude of summer camp fun when the guys sit Zach down to explain that even though he's been a bad boy, they still love him. It's a chorus of he said-she said-you said, and then straight into a campfire rendition of Kumbaya. Guy hugs all around.

Frankie leaves the room, and we discover that summer camp is over! Derrick, Cody, and Caleb are certain that Frankie and Christine are actually guilty of all the things Nicole and Hayden have accused them of.   They convince Zach that Frankie and Christine were the true masterminds behind his near demise. Once again, it's hard to tell if Zach is really buying it.  Can we please exchange those fitness trackers for mood rings?

Fishes come, and fishes go, and we discover the two new HOH  winners are Nicole and Christine. Awkward!!   Frankie interrupts their nomination discussion to announce that he is done playing BB with those dumb boys! He wants to play with the girls now!  Let's play HOH!

Here we go again. Is Nicole drinking Frankie's Kool-Aid?  It seems like she is. But this is Big Brother, and Frankie isn't the only Kool-Aid stand in town!  While Nicole is busy with Frankie and Christine, the guys are mixing up a batch of their own Kool-Aid. The idea is to get Nicole, who they just bamboozled up the wazoo, to trust them again. They will work with her to get Frankie out. They need a double strength batch of  Kool-Aid for this plan to work.

Derrick slips some Team-America-fook-up-the-game-tablets into his pitcher of Kool-Aid and asks the guys to try some. Team America's task this week is to get someone to volunteer to be a pawn, and then vote them out. Zach takes a big gulp of Derrick's poison potion and volunteers himself!

Zach decides he needs to set up a rogue Kool-Aid stand of his own. He confesses everything to Nicole and secures what sounds pretty much like a final two deal with her. Are they both drunk on day glow Kool-Aid cocktails by now, or are they speaking the truth? I have absolutely no idea.

A little while later, Nicole tells the guys she just doesn't trust Zach enough to throw the BOB if she noms him with Frankie. Caleb, who has his own personal brand of Kool-Aid coursing through his veins, volunteers to be a pawn and throw the BOB. He swears he will sit on his hands and throw that comp, beast-mode style!

By now Nicole, feeling a bit bloated by all the sugary sweet Kool-Aid she has been force fed through the night, decides it's time for bed. Derrick expresses doubts about the Team America task. Caleb, certain that he is America's Favorite Player,  sends a memo to BB to secure a limo and security guards to protect him from his fans on finale night. Zach climbs on the furniture, and replays the moment during the live show when Julie called him RanceyPants. And Victoria is thinking she is now a key player in this thing called Big Brother, since the guys had a zillion game convos right in front of her, because they forgot she was even in the room!

And there we were, basking in the afterglow of a great night of feeds, with absolutely no idea who is lying and who is truthing.  I think Nicole will work with the guys to get Frankie out. I'm pretty sure Team America will decline the new task.  I am fairly certain that the Have Nots were selected and I completely missed it. And I am absolutely, positively, going to start a petition demanding mood rings for season 17.

                                                                      Have a Dorky Day!

Caleb: Make It Work!

Caleb is weird in so many ways. It's distracting me from my usual BB distractions. I find myself switching cams trying to find Caleb. Last night Nicole and Christine were plotting a hinky vote to cause some trouble for Jocasta and..um...Donny? Or was it Britt?  I couldn't really pay attention because I was trying to see if Caleb was still shooting death stares at Cody and Amber in the hammock.  Hinky votes are my fave BB thing in all the land, and I am obsessed with a maniacal muscleman in a head scarf. Pitiful!

He has the weirdest sense of fashion I have ever seen in the BB house. Shane's pink tank top? Andy's Garanimals? Maggie's sister-wife wardrobe?  Caleb's clothing choices are so randomly weird the others pale in comparison.

He has the unibomber look, with that grey sleeveless hoodie.  The shopping at Walmart look, with the green shorts that are 3 sizes too small.  The upcycle refashion look, with Amber's dress draped around his neck as a scarf. And now, the flaming doo rag look, with a succession of rainbow hued scarves.  So weirdly random. As Tim Gunn would say, there is no continuity, no flow, to Caleb's collection of weird ass costumes for the day.

Well, there is one constant in each of these crazy ensembles: The Death Stare. After Caleb mirror-checks that the long flowing scarf is positioned just so across his beast mode muscles, he heads outside. He positions himself anywhere that he can keep an eye on Amber. The evil eye. The stink eye. The fish eye. Whatever you call it, he stares at her for hours. It's beyond creepy.

This week, Caleb has added a new layer to his weirdness. He is on a fast! A holy mission fast! He will only drink sweet tea and electrolytes, and maybe some protein drink, from now until Thursday. Then, he will eat only the oatmeal part of the slop. He will slam that oatmeal right before the HOH comp, and be full on beast mode, and win that comp. And then Amber will be his forever, they will make F2, he will get a recording contract, and Amber will star in his music videos.

Jocasta is assigned to find all Bible references to fasting. I fear a prayer meeting will soon follow. Somehow, he charms all the girls into lending him their scarves. Well, I have never actually witnessed him asking to borrow them. Maybe he just takes them, like Amber takes all the make-up and headbands without asking.They are, after all, soul mates.

He has this game on lock!  He doesn't want a showmance, that would only distract him from the game. He just wants to get to know Amber! Really KNOW her. And the best way to do that is to dress weird and stare her down for hours, on national television, in a house she cannot escape from!

Like they say in Project Runway, I want to see more from Caleb. His designs are rough right now, with no single theme tying them together. He needs room to grow, to refine his style. He must dig deeper into the girls luggage and go for it.  He has the potential, and the passion, for a full on drag look by week four. Make it work!

                                                                Have a Dorky Day !

Am I Tripping? Or Is It You?

Today begins day five of BB16 live feeds. Day five? That can't be right. We have a stalk-mance, bro-mance, gay-mance, and a wide variety of weird-mances.  There are prayer circles, Kabbalah cliques, meditation classes, and more Bibles than we can count. Singing! Dancing! Streaking! It seems more like mid season than the first week.

Alliances have been formed, disbanded, and outed.  We have final two deals up the wazoo! Breakdowns, melt-downs, and showdowns have already transpired.  It's like this is BB Advanced Placement Class. Complete with a Prom.

This is the strangest first week of BB ever! I know we say that every season, but this year it may be true. Three men sleeping in a bird nest? Every straight guy in the house cuddling with the gay guy?  House guests kneeling around the bed to pray? A highly functioning sociopath hunting guide who can sing, dance, build motorcycles, braid-foil-and-color your hair, charm the gay dude, and kill a wild hog with a stick?   Seems mighty strange to me.

It's wild enough that we have a full force stalk-mance going week one. Caleb has managed to channel all the previous BB stalkers into one terrifying beast.  His confession to Amber, that he wants to get to "know" her, was one of the most awkward hour of live feeds I have ever seen. It gave me the heebiest of jeebies.

Then we have Devin. That boy is just plain kookoo. In addition to his hundreds of other highly delusional and OCD issues, this guy has a serious food trip. First he eats all the food in the house, then he fasts for 24 hours, then breaks the fast with a half coffee-half cola shake. He is now convinced he is gaining weight, and plans to run laps all day today. This guy's body has women swooning, and he thinks his face is too fat.  He drones on endlessly about how hard this game is. Droning, droning, all the day long. Everyone is just tuning him out. Even in his enforcer mode. Devon speaks, and the hgs cringe and fall asleep.

Last night he did, somehow, get Caleb to realize his stalk-mance was going nowhere. That may be Devin's biggest contribution to his alliance. Five minutes later, he is covering his head with a towel so no one can see his fat face. Seriously kookoo.

Meanwhile, Christine and Nicole are swinging on the hammock, gazing upon the madness that is swirling around them, and giggling up a storm. They are stealth whispering with such expertise I can't hear one word they are saying. But I know what they are asking each other. "Are we tripping? Or is it them?"

                                                        Have a Dorky Day!!!