Remember that guy who was on BB16? That little weasel who tried to use his celebrity sister, and some charity, to win the game? He was a real camera hog, always singing and dancing and doing stupid stuff to get attention? He was such a diva. I think he had pink hair, or maybe it was blue? And CBS kissed his glittery butt? And Julie acted like a silly fangirl when he was finally evicted? I just can't remember his name. Oh, never mind, it doesn't really matter.
So, here we are at the final four! I can't believe we made it this far. Only one more week to go! Derrick is the new HOH. Caleb and Victoria are on the block. Cody won the veto. It's looking like Caleb will be going to jury. Things could change, but I think that Derrick will make sure that Caleb goes. He's tricky that way!
Caleb is most definitely nervousing. Doing a lot of pacing. Looking very serious. Dreaming up killer speeches for the veto ceremony. He is looking worried, and a wee bit sad.
I have to say that I will be a wee bit sad if Caleb doesn't make it to final three. He has provided us with endless hours of entertainment. The first few weeks of Caleb feeds were awesome! He came up with one delusion after another, and each delusional episode required a new ridiculous costume. And he made a pickle banana!
He channeled all the scariest BB stalkers into one epic StalkMance. He gave us hours and hours of creepy stalker Amber love scenarios. Endless hours. Painful hours. Days and days of hours and hours of obsessing about Amber.
Ok, now that I have walked down memory lane with BeastMode Cowboy, I might not be too sad if he doesn't make it to final three. It might be a relief.
But then we would be left with Victoria. Yes, it's fun to wish for a crazy win for Victoria, just to show the bros a thing or two. But at least Caleb was playing the game. Of course, he did have to learn the game first, since he had no idea how BB works. Victoria seemed completely oblivious to the game for most of the season. Victoria in the final three would be a hoot for sure. It might just happen.
She is convinced she will win the endurance part of the final HOH. No doubt. Guaranteed. She told Derrick she is going to crush it. End of story. They talk about the first endurance comp, the first HOH. She tells him that she would have won that comp if it wasn't for her extensions. Turns out the extensions weighed ten pounds after they were sprayed with all that goop. And every time the log turned her upside down, they would hang down and really hurt her head Her extensions caused her so much pain that she had to drop.
Those extensions have caused her so much trouble and worry. Last night, before she washed her hair up in the HOH shower, she told Derrick all about her hair. Well, she didn't tell him why her hair fell out, that part is still a mystery. But she did explain how traumatized she was when it happened. She is still so ashamed and mortified that I can't even make fun of her.That's kind of how it's been all season. She is so odd, so ditzy, so bad at this game, and yet I kind of like her for making it this far in spite of herself.
9/17 2:45 a.m. cam 1
Here she is in the final four, and she is still so worried that the hgs know she wears extensions, that they might see her without them. After her shower she shows Derrick her real hair. She lets him touch it. Brave little princess. Maybe she needs to go to the jury house now, so she can have some privacy to get her hair ready for the finale. Run away little princess, run while you can.
9/17 3:19 a.m. cam 1
I can't wait for tonight's show, and then the endurance comp we have all been waiting for. I hope and pray that BB lets us see the rest of the comp on the feeds. It better be the endurance comp to beat all endurance comps. We deserve it. We made it to the final four! We survived!!! Live feeders FTW!
Have a Dorky Day!
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Monday, September 15, 2014
It's Craft Activity Day at BB16 Summer Camp!
Big Brother gave the hgs alcohol last night, and Victoria drank almost a whole bottle of wine. She was a bit tipsy to say the least. Derrick kept telling her to stop, but she kept right on drinking. She got all flirty, and giggly, and seriously annoying. She kept smiling at Derrick. She followed him around just like the old days. She obviously forgot every last bit of her secret agent training. At one point she could barely keep her eyes open, but she would not go to sleep until the guys went to sleep.
After she spent almost an hour telling Caleb how wonderful he is, Caleb returned the favor in that special BeastMode way he has:
Victoria: Love you Caleb
Caleb: Love you too.
(insert extremely long awkward hug here)
Caleb: You done good. Not gonna say you are the best competitor.....
Victoria: Well, I have done good socially. I never stirred up anything, I stayed loyal
Caleb: Yep! You have done exactly all you needed to do. (which is his way of saying she has done absolutely nothing)
Victoria: Aww, thanks Caleb
While this was going on upstairs, Cody and Derrick were having their own very strange convo downstairs. First they swore to never, ever, nominate each other when they get to final four. They repeat this promise to each other several times. And then they decide that it might just be better to nominate each other after all!
This will make Caleb feel all comfy cozy with them, just in case he wins the veto. Maybe they are the ones who drank all the wine last night, because nowhere in this convo do they seem to remember that Caleb would be the only one voting in this scenario. Another no fail plan by the rag tag remnants of the Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever!
They all finally go to bed, but Derrick, Frankie, and Victoria are all up about an hour later because they can't sleep. It's cereal time! What would BB be without cereal, chips, chomping mouths , and smacking lips? Frankie takes his cereal outside and chomp-smacks away as he performs for the live feeders.
Then he tells us what he will do after BB. The life of a social media mogul-o-maniac superstar of Big Brother is rough on the body. Turns out he has a long list of doctors he plans to see ASAP. He tells his mom to start making appointments, STAT!!
A little later Derrick is trying to talk some game sense into a still tipsy Victoria. He gets so frustrated that he almost slips and tells her he's a cop! Left alone after the convo, he tells us that was a very close call. He almost blew his entire game! He seems pretty shook up.
Well, they are all gonna be shook up today! The Fabulous Frankie Eviction should take place this afternoon!!! The hgs have been promised an activity day. This means BB will tape them doing something crafty while they pretend it's night time, to fool the BBAD viewers. BB is tricky that way!
As I write this, the hgs have awakened to discover tie dye kits in the storage room. They are mostly underwhelmed. Caleb is still listening for the doorbell, hoping for a celebrity with a diesel truck full of cash to walk in the door. They still have no idea about today's eviction as the feeds go down and we get those stupid Jeff videos.
Most likely the feeds will be down until after Tuesday's, or maybe even Wednesday's show. Typically, this is your chance to get some housework done, visit with friends you haven't seen all season, and stock up on snacks for this weeks episodes. But you are all busy watching Utopia live feeds, so I fear there is no hope for you getting anything done before the eviction show.
Well, I for one have resisted all urges to sign up for my Utopia passport, free or paid. I just don't trust Fox with my personal info. I am Fox-phobic. And I can't get any of the other free Utopia feeds sites to work. So I guess it's up to me. There will be no dorky blog tomorrow. I'll be too busy slipping flat snack foods under your doors so you don't starve to death under Hex's new Anarchy regime!
Have a Dorky Day!
After she spent almost an hour telling Caleb how wonderful he is, Caleb returned the favor in that special BeastMode way he has:
Victoria: Love you Caleb
Caleb: Love you too.
(insert extremely long awkward hug here)
Caleb: You done good. Not gonna say you are the best competitor.....
Victoria: Well, I have done good socially. I never stirred up anything, I stayed loyal
Caleb: Yep! You have done exactly all you needed to do. (which is his way of saying she has done absolutely nothing)
Victoria: Aww, thanks Caleb
While this was going on upstairs, Cody and Derrick were having their own very strange convo downstairs. First they swore to never, ever, nominate each other when they get to final four. They repeat this promise to each other several times. And then they decide that it might just be better to nominate each other after all!
This will make Caleb feel all comfy cozy with them, just in case he wins the veto. Maybe they are the ones who drank all the wine last night, because nowhere in this convo do they seem to remember that Caleb would be the only one voting in this scenario. Another no fail plan by the rag tag remnants of the Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever!
They all finally go to bed, but Derrick, Frankie, and Victoria are all up about an hour later because they can't sleep. It's cereal time! What would BB be without cereal, chips, chomping mouths , and smacking lips? Frankie takes his cereal outside and chomp-smacks away as he performs for the live feeders.
Then he tells us what he will do after BB. The life of a social media mogul-o-maniac superstar of Big Brother is rough on the body. Turns out he has a long list of doctors he plans to see ASAP. He tells his mom to start making appointments, STAT!!
- Dermatologist is his first stop.
- Podiatrist, for his left ankle and foot, which he says he injured in a comp
- Dentist, as he rolls his tongue around inside his mouth
- Orthopedic surgeon, for his back. His eyes go a little dreamy as he imagines the dire diagnosis
- Complete blood work-up, to check his mercury levels from all the tuna he's been eating. His eyes are still a little dreamy, because blood work might reveal he has all kinds of parasites and poisons from the horrid conditions under which he has been forced to live for three months
- General Doctor, to catch anything the specialists might have missed
- Ear, Nose, & Throat Doctor, because, OMG, because of everything.
- And he needs to get his whole body waxed!!!
A little later Derrick is trying to talk some game sense into a still tipsy Victoria. He gets so frustrated that he almost slips and tells her he's a cop! Left alone after the convo, he tells us that was a very close call. He almost blew his entire game! He seems pretty shook up.
Well, they are all gonna be shook up today! The Fabulous Frankie Eviction should take place this afternoon!!! The hgs have been promised an activity day. This means BB will tape them doing something crafty while they pretend it's night time, to fool the BBAD viewers. BB is tricky that way!
As I write this, the hgs have awakened to discover tie dye kits in the storage room. They are mostly underwhelmed. Caleb is still listening for the doorbell, hoping for a celebrity with a diesel truck full of cash to walk in the door. They still have no idea about today's eviction as the feeds go down and we get those stupid Jeff videos.
Most likely the feeds will be down until after Tuesday's, or maybe even Wednesday's show. Typically, this is your chance to get some housework done, visit with friends you haven't seen all season, and stock up on snacks for this weeks episodes. But you are all busy watching Utopia live feeds, so I fear there is no hope for you getting anything done before the eviction show.
Well, I for one have resisted all urges to sign up for my Utopia passport, free or paid. I just don't trust Fox with my personal info. I am Fox-phobic. And I can't get any of the other free Utopia feeds sites to work. So I guess it's up to me. There will be no dorky blog tomorrow. I'll be too busy slipping flat snack foods under your doors so you don't starve to death under Hex's new Anarchy regime!
Have a Dorky Day!
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Victoria's Extensions For The Win!!!
Yesterday I tuned into the feeds now and then. Mostly boring. The hgs are about to crack from that strange mix of pressure and boredom we see around this time every season. The end is so close, yet so far away. They have been locked up so long together they can't stand it one more second. They want so badly to stay in the game and win, but if they don't get out of that house right now, they might just go completely crazy. I kept checking in, hoping for the crazy.
Frankie plopped himself down in that stupid bird nest bed and tried his usual tricks on Caleb. He pats the bed and tells Caleb to come on over here, sit here next to me, come on, right here. Like he's talking to a dog. But this dog (Caleb) has learned some new tricks.
Caleb eventually does sit down on the bed, but he positions himself far away from Frankie. He rarely makes eye contact. He squashes every whiny, wheedling thing that Frankie comes up with to save his sorry butt. Frankie is doing all the same things that have worked on Caleb for this whole game, but they aren't working now. Frankie seems a bit lost here. He's saying all the right things, why isn't Caleb groveling at his feet? Frankie keeps trying to get close enough for a cuddle, but it's just not happening.
He finally pulls the charity card. He says that he is playing an honorable game because he would never want to win dirty money for his charity. Since Caleb has already argued that Frankie has all the jury votes because of that charity, Frankie's charity card is totally wasted on Caleb. Frankie also pulls the world card. The world will hate Caleb if he betrays Frankie. Caleb's world is filled with recording contracts, acting jobs, red carpets and limousines, so Frankie's world card is just litter at Caleb's superstar feet.
9/14 1:54 a.m. cam 3-4
Frankie leaves the HOH with absolutely no reassurances of safety from Caleb. His magic glitter wand isn't working anymore! Where are his magical powers??? Frankie has no choice now but to call forth the dark twitter magic of Ariana's fans, to ensure that he wins Americas favorite Player.
In other news, Victoria is seriously considering going rogue! She complains to Derrick about everything she has to put up with in this house! She is fed up! She is the last girl standing, she has no one to talk to, she hates Cody with every fiber of her being, it's not fair! She wants to cause some drama! Victoria is ready to rumble!
She tells Derrick that she wants to have a one-on-one with Caleb. She wants to tell Caleb about her hair. This will make Caleb want to take her to the final two. She will tell him the true story of what happened to make her hair fall out, and then they will have a bond. And when he knows about her hair, he will know how badly she needs the money.
She says all this with that gleam in her eye, her secret agent-special-mission-gleam. Her hair story will be her biggest game move ever!!! Derrick has to work hard to nip this silly plan in the bud. He tells her all the reasons why a sob story this late in the game would backfire, and probably send her packing. She backs down a bit, but you can tell she is still seriously considering this move. She is gonna go rogue, I just know it!
9/14 1:24 a.m. cam 1
Will Ariana's fans win the twitter war and crown Frankie J. Grande as America's Most Hated Favorite Player? And what is the true story of Victoria's hair? How can it save her game? Will she show Caleb her bloody scalp? Will Caleb be wearing her extensions at the veto ceremony today? They would look mighty fine with those damn bunny slippers.
Have a Dorky Day!
Frankie plopped himself down in that stupid bird nest bed and tried his usual tricks on Caleb. He pats the bed and tells Caleb to come on over here, sit here next to me, come on, right here. Like he's talking to a dog. But this dog (Caleb) has learned some new tricks.
Caleb eventually does sit down on the bed, but he positions himself far away from Frankie. He rarely makes eye contact. He squashes every whiny, wheedling thing that Frankie comes up with to save his sorry butt. Frankie is doing all the same things that have worked on Caleb for this whole game, but they aren't working now. Frankie seems a bit lost here. He's saying all the right things, why isn't Caleb groveling at his feet? Frankie keeps trying to get close enough for a cuddle, but it's just not happening.
He finally pulls the charity card. He says that he is playing an honorable game because he would never want to win dirty money for his charity. Since Caleb has already argued that Frankie has all the jury votes because of that charity, Frankie's charity card is totally wasted on Caleb. Frankie also pulls the world card. The world will hate Caleb if he betrays Frankie. Caleb's world is filled with recording contracts, acting jobs, red carpets and limousines, so Frankie's world card is just litter at Caleb's superstar feet.
9/14 1:54 a.m. cam 3-4
Frankie leaves the HOH with absolutely no reassurances of safety from Caleb. His magic glitter wand isn't working anymore! Where are his magical powers??? Frankie has no choice now but to call forth the dark twitter magic of Ariana's fans, to ensure that he wins Americas favorite Player.
In other news, Victoria is seriously considering going rogue! She complains to Derrick about everything she has to put up with in this house! She is fed up! She is the last girl standing, she has no one to talk to, she hates Cody with every fiber of her being, it's not fair! She wants to cause some drama! Victoria is ready to rumble!
She tells Derrick that she wants to have a one-on-one with Caleb. She wants to tell Caleb about her hair. This will make Caleb want to take her to the final two. She will tell him the true story of what happened to make her hair fall out, and then they will have a bond. And when he knows about her hair, he will know how badly she needs the money.
She says all this with that gleam in her eye, her secret agent-special-mission-gleam. Her hair story will be her biggest game move ever!!! Derrick has to work hard to nip this silly plan in the bud. He tells her all the reasons why a sob story this late in the game would backfire, and probably send her packing. She backs down a bit, but you can tell she is still seriously considering this move. She is gonna go rogue, I just know it!
9/14 1:24 a.m. cam 1
Will Ariana's fans win the twitter war and crown Frankie J. Grande as America's Most Hated Favorite Player? And what is the true story of Victoria's hair? How can it save her game? Will she show Caleb her bloody scalp? Will Caleb be wearing her extensions at the veto ceremony today? They would look mighty fine with those damn bunny slippers.
Have a Dorky Day!
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Bye Bye Frankie (Fingers Crossed)
Yesterday our dreams came true! Frankie did not win the POV! Now we just have to pray that he is evicted . Glory Hallelujah, Amen!
Yesterday morning we were all in a tizzy about a Team America convo between Frankie and Derrick. They were informed by the dr that if one of them wins BB he will receive another $50,000! At first we thought they were saying that they both had to make it to f2 to get this money. Twitter went crazy! Production conspiracy theories were flying left and right! We began to lose all hope of Frankie ever being evicted, if we ever really had any hope of this at all.
After the BB bogging experts had thoroughly examined the transcripts of this convo, we learned that only one of them has to make it to f2 and win. This news made us feel a little better, but not much. The thought of Team America getting that much additional money still made us pretty damn cranky.
When the feeds went down for the POV comp, we didn't really have much hope that anyone but Frankie would win the veto. Frankie had already won it once, why wouldn't he win it again? Stupid gold button rewind twisted twist!
And then twitter went just crazy enough to distract us from our hopeless vigil. Allegedly, Frankie's mom asked Ariana fans to start tweeting #FrankieWinPov. And as this began trending, BB fans from all across the land were called to action.
Our battle cry? #AnyoneButFrankie. Those tween fans didn't even know what a POV is, but they were tweeting up a storm. And we were not having this! Within 20 minutes #AnyOneButFrankie had smashed those tweens to smithereens! We showed them! HA!
By the time the twitter battle was over we didn't even really care about the POV comp anymore. We just wanted the Arianatators to see that we were a force to be reckoned with. The big lesson here was don't tween and tweet about our BB! So there!
The feeds return, and wonder of wonders, Cody has won the Veto! Yes! And as far as we can tell, the plan is still in place to evict Frankie. Caleb was pushing for a split vote, so that he could be the one to evict Frankie. The guys talk him out of this, and now the plan is to tell Frankie he is leaving the night before eviction.
Frankie was a manic little maniac after the comp. He ran around the house pretending it was the most hilarious thing in the world that he lost the same two comps that he won last week. He says he is confident the guys will keep him safe. But you can tell he is pretty sure he will be going out the door.
We can only hope that this fear will develop into full blown paranoia in the next few days. We want to see him suffer. We need to hear him plead, and scheme, scramble and cry, and lose all sense of hope. We deserve this for having to put up with him all season. He took our shiny happy newbie season and made it all about him.
And #AnyoneButFrankie can see the beauty of him leaving before Victoria, and so very close to final four!
Have a Dorky Day!
Yesterday morning we were all in a tizzy about a Team America convo between Frankie and Derrick. They were informed by the dr that if one of them wins BB he will receive another $50,000! At first we thought they were saying that they both had to make it to f2 to get this money. Twitter went crazy! Production conspiracy theories were flying left and right! We began to lose all hope of Frankie ever being evicted, if we ever really had any hope of this at all.
After the BB bogging experts had thoroughly examined the transcripts of this convo, we learned that only one of them has to make it to f2 and win. This news made us feel a little better, but not much. The thought of Team America getting that much additional money still made us pretty damn cranky.
When the feeds went down for the POV comp, we didn't really have much hope that anyone but Frankie would win the veto. Frankie had already won it once, why wouldn't he win it again? Stupid gold button rewind twisted twist!
And then twitter went just crazy enough to distract us from our hopeless vigil. Allegedly, Frankie's mom asked Ariana fans to start tweeting #FrankieWinPov. And as this began trending, BB fans from all across the land were called to action.
Our battle cry? #AnyoneButFrankie. Those tween fans didn't even know what a POV is, but they were tweeting up a storm. And we were not having this! Within 20 minutes #AnyOneButFrankie had smashed those tweens to smithereens! We showed them! HA!
By the time the twitter battle was over we didn't even really care about the POV comp anymore. We just wanted the Arianatators to see that we were a force to be reckoned with. The big lesson here was don't tween and tweet about our BB! So there!
The feeds return, and wonder of wonders, Cody has won the Veto! Yes! And as far as we can tell, the plan is still in place to evict Frankie. Caleb was pushing for a split vote, so that he could be the one to evict Frankie. The guys talk him out of this, and now the plan is to tell Frankie he is leaving the night before eviction.
Frankie was a manic little maniac after the comp. He ran around the house pretending it was the most hilarious thing in the world that he lost the same two comps that he won last week. He says he is confident the guys will keep him safe. But you can tell he is pretty sure he will be going out the door.
We can only hope that this fear will develop into full blown paranoia in the next few days. We want to see him suffer. We need to hear him plead, and scheme, scramble and cry, and lose all sense of hope. We deserve this for having to put up with him all season. He took our shiny happy newbie season and made it all about him.
And #AnyoneButFrankie can see the beauty of him leaving before Victoria, and so very close to final four!
Have a Dorky Day!
Friday, September 12, 2014
Frankie Has The Worst Day Ever! Yes!!!
Wowzer! Yesterday was a great day of live feeds!!! The fun began in the morning with a luxury comp alert, and lasted all day long, and into the night! Woohoo!
The hgs woke up to a message on the living room TV screen: "It's time for a Luxury Comp!" Oh my goodness, they got all kinds of excited! Caleb's delusions included every impossible luxury item in the universe, designed especially for him. Most of them were various combinations of celebrities, recording contracts, and a big ass diesel truck.
They were then locked up in the HOH with breakfast and the TV. The front door opened, and the jury members were back in the house! It was the best four minutes of feeds in days. The jury went berzerker in the BB house!!! They trashed every room! Clothes, towels, dishes, food, and bedding were flying through the air! Oh happy day!!!
Zach threw Victoria's clothes on the living room table and danced the fandango while pouring Froot Loops all over the place. He was wearing his new pink hat and a huge grin! Jocasta went to town on destroying the kitchen. She poured honey, hot sauce, and garbage all over the place. She was a holy terror!
The hgs watched this all happen. The were laughing at first, but then they looked a wee bit worried. Hayden bent over to moon them, and that's when we got fish. When the feeds come back, we learn that Victoria and Hayden somehow won $5,000 each, the house is even more trashed than before, and the hgs are royally pissed off. Yes!!!
The hgs were teamed up with a jury member for the comp, which was a variation of the comp where they each go into the house to search for a token or chip to win the prize. But wait! There's more! A twisted twist that meant the hgs had to watch the jury members play the comp! The hgs didn't even get to play! Plus, the jury had a chance to win money!!! Scandalous!
It was fabulous feeds for most of the afternoon! They were so angry! Their home had been invaded! Vandalized by disgusting, immature, evil people! They complained for hours! They had to clean up the mess the bitter jury had left behind, and they grumbled about the worst ever luxury comp the whole time.
Never before in the history of Big Brother has there ever been such a bitter, evil jury! The hgs repeat this over and over. They seem to believe the jury thought this whole thing up themselves. Like they snuck out of the jury house without permission. This is personal! This is their home!
Well mostly it's Frankie's home, and he is completely devastated. How dare they they come in here! It is a travesty that jury members got to play in the comp! He fears he may never recover from this very personal assault. It's BB sacrilege that evicted hgs had a chance to win money! Hayden won money! That's just cruel!!! It's not fair!
Meanwhile, Caleb is wearing those damn bunny slippers again. They must have been unearthed in the raid. I won't complain about them though. They may have given him the courage to nominate Frankie!
Hallelujah! Frankie and Victoria are on the block, and Frankie is not taking it well. First the home invasion, then the worst luxury comp ever, and now he is on the block! Why are the strong and virtuous always tested in these terrible ways? He is loyal, and truthful, and good, and pure!
He takes several baths during the evening, so that he can tell the live feeders his troubles and woes while naked and surrounded by bubbles. And the whole time he does this, you can tell that he really wishes he could just let his nasty self out, and throw the biggest hissy fit of his life. He is really furious, but he tells us that everything that happened today has hurt his heart, and his soul. All of this while checking that the cams are still on him. He is one Grande piece of work!
The hgs spent a lot of time studying the memory wall for the morph comp rewind. Caleb and Frankie even devised their own study aids! Frankie cut a spy screen hole into a tortilla and held it up to the photos. This makes the guys a little nervous, seeing him so close to the memory wall, looking through a hole in a tortilla.
Caleb crafts a study mask from a paper towel and two panty liners. He says it gives him ninja powers, and hides his identity, all in one! Derrick is wearing his daughters blanket on his head, but hasn't shared it's study enhancing capabilities with us yet. Cody is just trying to stay awake. All this concentrating is putting him to sleep. He needs someone to flirt with to keep him awake. Victoria joins them now and then, but her study look is no different than her everyday vacant stare we have seen all season.
At some point during study group, Caleb goes upstairs to listen to music and make a complete fool of himself on national tee-vee! He spends a good hour up there dancing and playing air guitar. He is crushing it! He is a beast! He tells us he is single. Ladies, come and get it! He is The Cowboy Of Love!
This leaves Cody, Derrick, and Frankie alone in front of the memory wall. They have a little meeting about the nominations. Frankie absolves them of all sins, and says he understands that it was all about Caleb's ego. After a brief exchange of lies and misinformation, they all agree that they are not idiots. I'm not an idiot, you're not an idiot, we are not idiots! So that settles that! And then their eyes wander up to the HOH, and they very quietly super-stealth-whisper that Caleb is the idiot. Shhhh! It's a secret!
While further data might be needed to confirm their own individual and collective idiocy, they are correct in crowning Caleb as their idiot king. When Caleb wasn't complaining about the jury and the luxury comp, he was mostly busy telling everyone why he will win the game and/or America's Favorite Player. He goes on for hours about how damn good he is at this game. And he knows that the viewers are just loving him! He is just dadgum awesome!
He told Frankie that he nommed him because they were worried that if Frankie won the veto, he would use it on Victoria! They had a great cover story going, but Caleb just has to be honest and tell it like it is. He also told Frankie that he knows Frankie won't take him to the end, because Frankie knows Caleb will beat him. So, he basically told Frankie that they don't trust him anymore. Then, to secure his position as Idiot Supreme, he spent a good long while spilling the beans to Victoria about the history making Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever.
Watch out everybody! BeastMode Bunny-Slippers is back in the house!
Have a Dorky Day!
The hgs woke up to a message on the living room TV screen: "It's time for a Luxury Comp!" Oh my goodness, they got all kinds of excited! Caleb's delusions included every impossible luxury item in the universe, designed especially for him. Most of them were various combinations of celebrities, recording contracts, and a big ass diesel truck.
They were then locked up in the HOH with breakfast and the TV. The front door opened, and the jury members were back in the house! It was the best four minutes of feeds in days. The jury went berzerker in the BB house!!! They trashed every room! Clothes, towels, dishes, food, and bedding were flying through the air! Oh happy day!!!
Zach threw Victoria's clothes on the living room table and danced the fandango while pouring Froot Loops all over the place. He was wearing his new pink hat and a huge grin! Jocasta went to town on destroying the kitchen. She poured honey, hot sauce, and garbage all over the place. She was a holy terror!
The hgs watched this all happen. The were laughing at first, but then they looked a wee bit worried. Hayden bent over to moon them, and that's when we got fish. When the feeds come back, we learn that Victoria and Hayden somehow won $5,000 each, the house is even more trashed than before, and the hgs are royally pissed off. Yes!!!
The hgs were teamed up with a jury member for the comp, which was a variation of the comp where they each go into the house to search for a token or chip to win the prize. But wait! There's more! A twisted twist that meant the hgs had to watch the jury members play the comp! The hgs didn't even get to play! Plus, the jury had a chance to win money!!! Scandalous!
It was fabulous feeds for most of the afternoon! They were so angry! Their home had been invaded! Vandalized by disgusting, immature, evil people! They complained for hours! They had to clean up the mess the bitter jury had left behind, and they grumbled about the worst ever luxury comp the whole time.
Never before in the history of Big Brother has there ever been such a bitter, evil jury! The hgs repeat this over and over. They seem to believe the jury thought this whole thing up themselves. Like they snuck out of the jury house without permission. This is personal! This is their home!
Well mostly it's Frankie's home, and he is completely devastated. How dare they they come in here! It is a travesty that jury members got to play in the comp! He fears he may never recover from this very personal assault. It's BB sacrilege that evicted hgs had a chance to win money! Hayden won money! That's just cruel!!! It's not fair!
Meanwhile, Caleb is wearing those damn bunny slippers again. They must have been unearthed in the raid. I won't complain about them though. They may have given him the courage to nominate Frankie!
Hallelujah! Frankie and Victoria are on the block, and Frankie is not taking it well. First the home invasion, then the worst luxury comp ever, and now he is on the block! Why are the strong and virtuous always tested in these terrible ways? He is loyal, and truthful, and good, and pure!
He takes several baths during the evening, so that he can tell the live feeders his troubles and woes while naked and surrounded by bubbles. And the whole time he does this, you can tell that he really wishes he could just let his nasty self out, and throw the biggest hissy fit of his life. He is really furious, but he tells us that everything that happened today has hurt his heart, and his soul. All of this while checking that the cams are still on him. He is one Grande piece of work!
The hgs spent a lot of time studying the memory wall for the morph comp rewind. Caleb and Frankie even devised their own study aids! Frankie cut a spy screen hole into a tortilla and held it up to the photos. This makes the guys a little nervous, seeing him so close to the memory wall, looking through a hole in a tortilla.
Caleb crafts a study mask from a paper towel and two panty liners. He says it gives him ninja powers, and hides his identity, all in one! Derrick is wearing his daughters blanket on his head, but hasn't shared it's study enhancing capabilities with us yet. Cody is just trying to stay awake. All this concentrating is putting him to sleep. He needs someone to flirt with to keep him awake. Victoria joins them now and then, but her study look is no different than her everyday vacant stare we have seen all season.
At some point during study group, Caleb goes upstairs to listen to music and make a complete fool of himself on national tee-vee! He spends a good hour up there dancing and playing air guitar. He is crushing it! He is a beast! He tells us he is single. Ladies, come and get it! He is The Cowboy Of Love!
This leaves Cody, Derrick, and Frankie alone in front of the memory wall. They have a little meeting about the nominations. Frankie absolves them of all sins, and says he understands that it was all about Caleb's ego. After a brief exchange of lies and misinformation, they all agree that they are not idiots. I'm not an idiot, you're not an idiot, we are not idiots! So that settles that! And then their eyes wander up to the HOH, and they very quietly super-stealth-whisper that Caleb is the idiot. Shhhh! It's a secret!
While further data might be needed to confirm their own individual and collective idiocy, they are correct in crowning Caleb as their idiot king. When Caleb wasn't complaining about the jury and the luxury comp, he was mostly busy telling everyone why he will win the game and/or America's Favorite Player. He goes on for hours about how damn good he is at this game. And he knows that the viewers are just loving him! He is just dadgum awesome!
He told Frankie that he nommed him because they were worried that if Frankie won the veto, he would use it on Victoria! They had a great cover story going, but Caleb just has to be honest and tell it like it is. He also told Frankie that he knows Frankie won't take him to the end, because Frankie knows Caleb will beat him. So, he basically told Frankie that they don't trust him anymore. Then, to secure his position as Idiot Supreme, he spent a good long while spilling the beans to Victoria about the history making Best-Worst-Alliance-Ever.
Watch out everybody! BeastMode Bunny-Slippers is back in the house!
Have a Dorky Day!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Production Has Left The Building!
What can I say? I have no words. Well, I have words, but they are not suitable for print. Suffice it to say I am quite cranky this morning. Cranky to the max. But that's old news. That's just a replay of how I felt last week. I'm on a cranky rewind.
Caleb won the HOH comp. The rewind HOH comp. The comp they have already played once. That we've already seen before. The comp that they didn't let us see the winner of on the show, again. The comp that maybe Frankie threw this time.
I can't decide on that one. Did he throw it to make sure he would be able to play in the next HOH? I sure won't suggest this to Caleb, because he get's all crazy eyed about it. He crushed that comp! He is so great, and awesome, and crushing! No way Frankie threw that comp! Caleb crushed him! Lot's of crushing talk last night.
Derrick is now working double, triple, undercover overtime to keep his butt off the block. Victoria is working undercover too! Derrick has convinced her that she might be safe from leaving this week if they keep up the act.
Victoria is positively beaming when they talk about their secret mission. I love seeing her so happy to be finally playing the game. But I get all worried whenever they talk now. What if someone watching the HOH spy screen sees her smiling and talking with Derrick? What if her cover is blown?
Meanwhile, they take a break from worrying about noms to study for the veto comp. The comp they already played once! Aaaarghhh! This rewind twist is so infuriating! Why did they do this stupid rewind? Why, why, why??? Has production left the building? Or maybe production has been taken hostage, leaving the interns to run the show? Did Allison Grodner just forget we already did this, or is she truly evil?
Let's just get this week over with! But first, Julie wants us to vote on tarantulas? For another show? WTF?? I vote for lots and lots of hairy tarantulas.
But why should Julie have all the fun? I think all of production should join her. Let's punish them for dreaming up this ridiculous week of rewinds. I say we throw them all in a giant box, with tarantulas and all sorts of nasty creepy crawlies, while wearing shock unitards, in between chum baths, after we shave their heads! I could rewind that all the day long!
Have a Dorky Day!
Caleb won the HOH comp. The rewind HOH comp. The comp they have already played once. That we've already seen before. The comp that they didn't let us see the winner of on the show, again. The comp that maybe Frankie threw this time.
I can't decide on that one. Did he throw it to make sure he would be able to play in the next HOH? I sure won't suggest this to Caleb, because he get's all crazy eyed about it. He crushed that comp! He is so great, and awesome, and crushing! No way Frankie threw that comp! Caleb crushed him! Lot's of crushing talk last night.
Derrick is now working double, triple, undercover overtime to keep his butt off the block. Victoria is working undercover too! Derrick has convinced her that she might be safe from leaving this week if they keep up the act.
Victoria is positively beaming when they talk about their secret mission. I love seeing her so happy to be finally playing the game. But I get all worried whenever they talk now. What if someone watching the HOH spy screen sees her smiling and talking with Derrick? What if her cover is blown?
Meanwhile, they take a break from worrying about noms to study for the veto comp. The comp they already played once! Aaaarghhh! This rewind twist is so infuriating! Why did they do this stupid rewind? Why, why, why??? Has production left the building? Or maybe production has been taken hostage, leaving the interns to run the show? Did Allison Grodner just forget we already did this, or is she truly evil?
Let's just get this week over with! But first, Julie wants us to vote on tarantulas? For another show? WTF?? I vote for lots and lots of hairy tarantulas.
But why should Julie have all the fun? I think all of production should join her. Let's punish them for dreaming up this ridiculous week of rewinds. I say we throw them all in a giant box, with tarantulas and all sorts of nasty creepy crawlies, while wearing shock unitards, in between chum baths, after we shave their heads! I could rewind that all the day long!
Have a Dorky Day!
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
CBS Stops BB16 Dead In It's Tracks!
Victoria was full of surprises yesterday. First we discover that Victoria is afraid of every animal on the planet except for Izzy the dog. She was lovin' on that dog! Izzy was pretty much irresistible. The guys all fell in love with that dog right away. So did the live feeders. For a few hours, the Zach birthday tweets tapered off, and the Izzy pics were trending in our own little BB corner of the world.
Then Izzy left, and we got back to this sad business of boring feeds. Victoria spiced it up for us when she finally talked to Frankie up in the HOH. Derrick had already set things up with the guys by telling them that Victoria was not speaking to him. Victoria didn't even ask Derrick if she could do his laundry! All the guys noticed this. Things must be serious if she ain't doing his laundry!!!
Victoria did a great job with the Frankie talk. She didn't go overboard or get all dramatic. She cried just enough, at the right times, to convince him she was telling the truth. Frankie seemed to be taking care not to throw Derrick under the bus as he tried to comfort her. And Victoria's presentation was consistent with how she has been acting the whole game. I think her mission was a success!
Later on Frankie told Derrick almost everything Victoria said. The guys now believe that Derrick has no chance of getting Victoria's vote if he makes it to final two. I think she deserves $5,000 for a successful task, don't you?
BB gave them a few beers and a teeny, tiny, bottle of wine. Victoria plans to act a little tipsy when she drinks that wine. She will then implement part two of her plan. I'm calling it her plan now, because she is definitely using her own strategy here. She'll talk more about how the jury hates Derrick. Then she'll begin to hint that she thinks Caleb is playing a good, clean, honest, trustworthy game. He deserves to win! He is so loyal! He is BeastMode!
This is all designed to convince Frankie and Cody that they shouldn't be taking Caleb anywhere near the final two. But they all go to bed early, so she doesn't get much done in this department. She and Derrick sneak in a few secret talks before going to sleep. She smiles her happy princess smile as she fills him in on what she has been up to. Victoria is really loving this whole Save Derrick plan.
Meanwhile, I am kind of cranky as I get myself ready for bed. All this Gold Button Rewind business has made for boring feeds and boring episodes. As far as this week goes, Victoria might be doing the only thing that really matters. And tonight we don't even get an eviction!. At least not as far as I can figure things out.
All week long I have been fantasizing about the possibility of Frankie being evicted tonight! This is what has kept me going! It gave me hope! A reason to live!
But, once again, Julie smashes my dreams to smithereens! She told us right after Christine's eviction that if that damn gold button was pushed there would be no eviction tonight. She said the game will stop dead in it's tracks. WTF? No eviction? Can this be true?
I missed it. No matter how hard I try to listen to Julie, I always miss the most important thing she is saying. So I missed it when Julie told us that CBS is doing it's twisted best to ruin the last few weeks of this season even more with this stupid gold button rewind.
Oh well, If BB wants to stop this game dead in it's tracks, who am I to argue? I'll just mosey on over to Utopia and see what kind of trouble Bella is causing already this morning. Then I'll watch me some CBBUK, and BBAU, and try to think some happy thoughts.
But I will still be cranky, no matter how much fun I might be having in other reality lands. I love BBUS. I stick it out every season. I'm still there when live feeders and bloggers don't even bother to check in on the live feeds, when they even stop watching the shows. One of my fave bloggers is so over this season he is boycotting the shows. He is writing brilliant recaps of the shows he won't be watching, before they air, and he nails it every time!
But I hang on to the very end. You'll find me tied to the twisted tracks of this most useless final five week ever. I am a BBUS die hard. And this season I am dying hard for sure.
Have a Dorky Day!
Then Izzy left, and we got back to this sad business of boring feeds. Victoria spiced it up for us when she finally talked to Frankie up in the HOH. Derrick had already set things up with the guys by telling them that Victoria was not speaking to him. Victoria didn't even ask Derrick if she could do his laundry! All the guys noticed this. Things must be serious if she ain't doing his laundry!!!
Victoria did a great job with the Frankie talk. She didn't go overboard or get all dramatic. She cried just enough, at the right times, to convince him she was telling the truth. Frankie seemed to be taking care not to throw Derrick under the bus as he tried to comfort her. And Victoria's presentation was consistent with how she has been acting the whole game. I think her mission was a success!
Later on Frankie told Derrick almost everything Victoria said. The guys now believe that Derrick has no chance of getting Victoria's vote if he makes it to final two. I think she deserves $5,000 for a successful task, don't you?
BB gave them a few beers and a teeny, tiny, bottle of wine. Victoria plans to act a little tipsy when she drinks that wine. She will then implement part two of her plan. I'm calling it her plan now, because she is definitely using her own strategy here. She'll talk more about how the jury hates Derrick. Then she'll begin to hint that she thinks Caleb is playing a good, clean, honest, trustworthy game. He deserves to win! He is so loyal! He is BeastMode!
This is all designed to convince Frankie and Cody that they shouldn't be taking Caleb anywhere near the final two. But they all go to bed early, so she doesn't get much done in this department. She and Derrick sneak in a few secret talks before going to sleep. She smiles her happy princess smile as she fills him in on what she has been up to. Victoria is really loving this whole Save Derrick plan.
Meanwhile, I am kind of cranky as I get myself ready for bed. All this Gold Button Rewind business has made for boring feeds and boring episodes. As far as this week goes, Victoria might be doing the only thing that really matters. And tonight we don't even get an eviction!. At least not as far as I can figure things out.
All week long I have been fantasizing about the possibility of Frankie being evicted tonight! This is what has kept me going! It gave me hope! A reason to live!
But, once again, Julie smashes my dreams to smithereens! She told us right after Christine's eviction that if that damn gold button was pushed there would be no eviction tonight. She said the game will stop dead in it's tracks. WTF? No eviction? Can this be true?
I missed it. No matter how hard I try to listen to Julie, I always miss the most important thing she is saying. So I missed it when Julie told us that CBS is doing it's twisted best to ruin the last few weeks of this season even more with this stupid gold button rewind.
Oh well, If BB wants to stop this game dead in it's tracks, who am I to argue? I'll just mosey on over to Utopia and see what kind of trouble Bella is causing already this morning. Then I'll watch me some CBBUK, and BBAU, and try to think some happy thoughts.
But I will still be cranky, no matter how much fun I might be having in other reality lands. I love BBUS. I stick it out every season. I'm still there when live feeders and bloggers don't even bother to check in on the live feeds, when they even stop watching the shows. One of my fave bloggers is so over this season he is boycotting the shows. He is writing brilliant recaps of the shows he won't be watching, before they air, and he nails it every time!
But I hang on to the very end. You'll find me tied to the twisted tracks of this most useless final five week ever. I am a BBUS die hard. And this season I am dying hard for sure.
Have a Dorky Day!
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