Team America: The Broadway Show!

Nothing much happened on the feeds yesterday. Victoria fainted due to dehydration and pain from her wisdom teeth. She was whisked away to receive some IV treatment and is looking much better now. Cody won the POV comp. His alliance threw it to him in a great team effort to keep Donny on the block. This win could not have come at a better time. Just yesterday, Caleb revealed that Donny was the former head of the CIA! Donny is dangerous, and he needs to go!

The only other item of interest yesterday was the new Team America task. Donny told Frankie and Derrick that they had to make up their own mission, and then America will vote on whether it was a success or failure. This task must be completed before the Veto meeting on Monday. Donny suggests that they save someone from the block. Like maybe save him from the block. Because America would want them to stay together!

Oh Donny! This is so sad.  It was so very painful to watch. I suppose it's good that he is still fighting. But this idea is slammed down faster than any other input he has given them on the TA tasks. This idea also has twitter all a'flutter with people saying that Donny has created a fake task to save himself.

It's a weird task for sure. But I think Donny has more respect for the rules, and America, than to use production as a strategy.  Plus, they all talk to the dr about the missions, so it would be discovered as a fake soon enough. I think it's a real task.

Real or not, it will soon cause us all to suffer through an amped up Broadway version of Frankie, as the self appointed leader of this mission.

Frankie wants to put on a show! A Broadway show! And they can all impersonate other hgs! And Caleb can dress up in drag! And Frankie can write, direct, produce, and take all the credit for this task! And Ariana's fans will surely vote for them to win the money!

As I listen to Frankie and Derrick figure out the details for this mission, I am getting more cranky by the minute. This is not a mission! This is what hgs do on Big Brother every season!  They impersonate other hgs. They put on some kind of stupid fashion show, or wedding, or beauty pageant. And every year the guys dress up in drag.

It's what you do when you are on BB and you are bored out of your mind. It's what you do if you crave camera time, and want to show off your special talent for being obnoxious! Why should Team America earn $5,000 each for something the hgs do every year for free?

Well, I am sure that Frankie will explain to the cameras how this is the best show in the history of BB. He has timed it to take place during BBAD. He has mentioned his sister's fans enough to get her attention, so that she can command them to vote for TA to win the money. He has already ruined the next 24 hours of feeds for me, and they haven't even started rehearsing yet!

Frankie and Derrick want us to believe that this task is all about giving Donny another $5,000 before he leaves the house. Donny has become Team America's schools in Africa. My cranky meter is about to blow!!!

Oh well. Maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the show. I'm sure there will be some silliness while the hgs perfect their characters, and practice their dance moves. Caleb in drag could turn out to be his best costume for the day ever! BeastMode Drag Queen might just save the day!

                                                         Have a Dorky Day!

Caleb Is 150% Sure That Donny Is A Dadgum Genius!

Yesterday, Caleb gathered more intel on Donny, the most dangerous Big Brother player in all the land. Caleb has had Donny under surveillance for most of this season. It was Caleb who discovered that Donny was ex-military, just by looking at his hairless ankles. Donny claims the hairs were rubbed off by his tall socks. Caleb informed his alliance that hairless ankles are a sure sign that Donny is ex-military. Caleb was the first to blow Donny's cover. And he's been on the case ever since.

They all agree that Donny has been lying about his occupation. Hours upon hours have been spent speculating on his true identity. The speculation has reached a new frenzy now that there are only 8 players left. And yesterday, Caleb revealed startling new evidence against Donny. 

Are you ready for it? It's really big! Shocking! Conclusive! Mind blowing!

Donny ate a Sour Patch Kids candy! Caleb saw it! Caleb was there! And Donny said it reminded him of the good old days! And that right there proves he was in the military! Mind blowing! My mind is blown, isn't yours? My mind was so blown that I completely forgot to check the time on this convo, sorry about that.

Caleb told Cody and Derrick that in the army they give you MRE's, Meals Ready To Eat. And in the MRE packet there is always a piece of candy. A piece of sour candy! And Donny was sucking on that Sour Patch candy, saying how it reminded him of old times, and Caleb was right there when he said it! And when he said "old times" he looked right into Caleb's eyes, like he was telling him something! And Caleb knew, because Caleb is military too!

But wait! There's more! Later on, in the living room, Caleb reveals more proof of Donny's secret life as a military genius. Caleb was watching Donny earlier, and Donny was all fidgety, and his eyes, his eyes! Caleb saw Donny make squares with his eyes! Donny was looking at that square pattern up on the ceiling, and his eyes were making squares!!!

This proves that Donny is a genius! Because sometimes, when you are so genius, so smart, you have to be thinking even when you are not thinking!  And making squares with your eyes is a sure sign you are thinking and not thinking at the same time!!!

While Derrick and Cody are listening to this, you can see that they are thinking that Caleb is completely koo-koo! You can tell they are trying so hard not to laugh.  But they don't laugh! Nope! 

They are members of the Best-Worst -Alliance ever, and they act accordingly. They jump right in and list all the other signs that point to Donny being an evil genius military mastermind. The camouflage clothing, the early bedtime and early wake up, the use of large words, his use of medical terms, his beard, his eating habits, his cricket whistle, etc.

Caleb lays one more piece of evidence on them. It turns out that Donny has been using OCD as a cover to hide his military intelligence training. The way that Donny packs his drawers, and lines up his belongings on the nightstand, reveals that he is either  military intelligence or a weapons designer! This is actually old intel, but when you add this to the Sour Patch Kids evidence, it is obvious that Donny is a Secret Military Weapons Master!

8/22 4:48 p.m. cam 1-2

Caleb is going to stay on the case. His goal is to get Donny to confess everything. He already informed Donny that he was onto him. He told Donny "You are a genius, and you are making the rest of us look stupid!" And Donny didn't even deny it!  Did not deny it at all! He just said  "I appreciate that." So, there you go, he is 100% a dadgum genius! 

                                                          Have a Dorky Day!

Bye-Bye Zach, Hello Nicole! Frankie...Shut Up!!!

Okay..so...Zach left, Nicole came back, there was no endurance comp, Cody won HOH, and Frankie tried his best to make everything about him. Poop-a-doop!

Zach leaves the house with a sprinkle of Froot Loops and a whole lot of class. This is really hard on Frankie because he loves the guy, but he had to go with what the house wanted. Zach gets to have lots-o-fun in jury house, but Frankie has to live with this really difficult, heartbreaking thing he had to do. It's so hard to be Frankie right now.

Nicole wins her way back into the game, and she tells Frankie his sister was in the audience on double eviction night! It's so great you are back in the house Nicole, but tell me more about my sister! And Nicole saw my sister's billboard!  I mean, My Sister! She has a billboard!

The Bomb Squad has an emergency meeting and Derrick commands them all to never speak to Nicole behind closed doors. No one-on-one convos with Nicole allowed. Derrick is positively petrified that Nicole will try to defend herself against all the lies he and the Bomb Squad have told each other about her. After they all agree to this plan, Frankie leaves the room to give Nicole a smoochy hug, and tell her how happy he is that she is back. And now he wants to hear more about his sister's billboard!

And then, Cody wins the HOH. Frankie tells him they make such a great team! Frankie hosting, and Cody winning, that's teamwork!  Yay for Frankie!  Within minutes of the HOH reveal, Frankie shows up with his bags to move in for the week. Cody says please, please, can I just sleep alone for one night?  Is that okay Frankie? Don't be mad, please, please.  Ugh! And double ugh!

Nicole does manage to get some alone time with Cody. How did that happen? Where is the Bomb Squad special battalion of the Closed Door Patrol?  Slacking already!  Her talk with Cody does her no good whatsoever, but at least she tried.

The night devolved into a Donny and Nicole bash-fest. We had a brief intermission when Victoria was whining to Derrick about her Zings. She is worried that people think she is not playing the game. She is playing, playing hard! She cut up Zach's hat didn't she?  She doesn't want to disappoint production! Production? WTF??

He seemed really irritated by her whining. He had to talk her down while keeping an eye on all those closed doors. And where is Nicole? She could be unraveling his spool of lies this very minute! Derrick's paranoia is working triple overtime, and Victoria is getting on his last nerve.

It's gonna be a long week for feed watchers. We are hoping for a Pandora's box intervention. Visions of  the Diamond Power Of Veto dance in our head.  Can Nicole survive the week so that she can win the next HOH comp? Which, by the way, better be endurance, or live feeders everywhere will be turning off the live feeds forever! Will Donny find a Pop-Tarts coup d'etat next time he visits the diary room?  I hope so!

But if things keep going the way they are, and it looks like Donny is heading to the jury house, I sure hope he jumps right into the middle of the next Bomb Squad cuddle-fest and asks them all to play with his beard.

As Donny would say: If you can't beat them, do your best to freak them the hell out!

                                                               Have a Dorky Day!

Bomb Squad: The Best Worst Alliance Ever!

Wow! The Bomb Squad caught Donny talking game! They are so smart! Nothing gets past them. They also caught him looking at the HOH spy screen when he was up in the HOH with them! He actually looked at the screen! How dare him!! Plus, they figured out that Zach and Donny have had an alliance from day one! I didn't know that! Did you know that?

Cody knew that! He told them all a long time ago:

     Cody:  Remember when I said Donny was dangerous?
     Bomb Squad:  Um..yeah..well..no...
     Cody:  Yeah, I said it! I remember! I think I said it! Did I say it?
     Bomb Squad:  Well..um..maybe..yeah, you probably did say that!
     Cody:  Maybe I thought I said it, but really only thought it.
     Bomb Squad: Well, you definitely thought it dude!
     Cody:  And I said the same thing about Zach!  I know for sure I thought it.
     Bomb Squad: I think we saw you thinking one day!
     Cody: And then I thought, those two are working together!
     Bomb Squad:  Yeah, you do think out loud sometimes, dude.
     Cody: I knew it!

So, Cody is a BB genius!  And so is Caleb!  Caleb went into CreepMode yesterday and did his sneaky slithering thing up on the balcony outside HOH.  And he heard Zach and Donny say things. Very important things!  He heard Donny say that everyone was shunning him! He also heard Zach tell him that there never was an orange Skittle for Donny in the drawing for noms!  That proves everything! They are in an alliance!

A very powerful super-alliance that consists of one hg sure to be evicted tomorrow, and another hg who has absolutely no one to work with in this game.  They immediately go to code red alert!  They jump up and down and start fighting over who gets to call Donny out!

Cody really wants to do it. He wants to call him out right NOW!  Or maybe tomorrow? That might be better. Or after the HOH? What do you think? Or better yet after the POV. Yes, that's it. After the POV, Cody is pretty sure he will most likely be calling Donny out!

While Cody is looking for his day planner to pencil in the calling out, Derrick is fuming and sputtering about his own calling out plans. Donny told Christine that if he wins the HOH he will choose noms from a bag of M&M's. Derrick swears, on his daughters life, that he will smack that bag of M&M's out of Donny's hand if he dares to do that! How insulting to use M&M's for noms! Donny is a mad man! Doesn't he know that Skittles are the only BB approved nom candies?

Meanwhile, Victoria is jealous of all the time Derrick has been spending with Christine. And Cody is jealous of this too!  And there was one whole hour yesterday when Cody had to play with his hair himself, because Christine and Victoria were busy spending time together.  Dude, that's just wrong!

Frankie wants everyone to make Zach tell them his Donny secrets. Make him spill his Donny beans. But first, he wants to go cook another fish. He leaves the bean spilling details to his trusty alliance.

The Bomb Squad. The absolute Best-Worst-Alliance in Big Brother history.

                                                                 Have A Dorky Day!

#PinkHatProject

Yesterday was another mostly lazy day on the feeds.  Derrick was working everyone, in his own lazy way. Hey dude! While we are sitting here just enjoying an easy week, let me plant some seeds in the fertile ground of your bored-to-tears brain. He broke down the big picture for each house guest. He had a slightly different big picture for each of them. Derrick is tricky that way.

Zach was trying his best to see this big picture. He wants to know just how big is this big picture? And where is it hiding? Who is in charge of this big picture?  Zach tried to paint his own big picture for them, but nobody showed any interest.

Donny and Zach had a few good convos about working together if Zach comes back in the house after he is evicted. It was kind of exciting to think it could happen, and kind of sad because it probably won't. They both seemed to be speaking the truth to each other.

Frankie and Cody had a convo about being super close, and super tight, and super bff's. And nobody even suspects that they are super-duper working together! Frankie fed Cody some more super lies, and Cody thought they were super delicious. It was a really super convo.

Cody and Christine may have talked game, but I cannot watch them anymore, so if they did I missed it. Caleb, Derrick, and Frankie had a long convo about Cody and Christine being so close even after the Zings they got from Zingbot. Caleb seems very concerned about this. He deems it inappropriate. BeastMode Bunny Slippers, newly released from StalkMance Rehab, is deeply offended by their unseemly behavior.

Victoria and Christine talked about how Donny is an evil, conniving, pervert. They seemed focused on the pervert part. Seriously? They are living in a house with guys who hump each other every five minutes, have running gags about balls and holes, share daily reports on Jack Shack activities, and Donny is the perv?

Victoria spent most of the day obsessing about the symbolism of the shredded pink hat.  She hopes that her parents are proud of her for taking a knife to that hat. Her own hat, her own property, which she gave to Zach and then took back. She really wants him to go berzerkers about that hat. Her eyes get all dreamy when she thinks about it.

The Shredding Of The Pink Hat has had a galvanizing effect on live feeders. Up until the shredding, most of us were hoping that the pink hat would meet a fiery death in that comp where the hgs each have to burn one article of clothing. We hated that hat. Zach fidgeted with that hat all the time.  That hat was the pink cherry on the cake of his ridiculous daily attire.

But now, fickle feeders that we are, we take the hat shredding and we create our own symbolism. We form our own Pink Hat Alliance and spread the word far and wide. We send pink hat care packages to live feeders on the West Coast, so that they can throw them over the wall of the BB back yard, to show our Zach love!

#PinkHatProject will soon be trending world wide. If even one pink hat sails over that wall to land at Zach's feet, we will have done our part to create a whole new level of paranoia in that BB house! And if Victoria so much as looks at that pink hat sideways, we will implement #OperationBlackCrow, and she will be carried away to a land where no princess has ever gone before!!!

                                                 Have a Dorky Day!

Hide Your Hats, She Has A Knife!!!

Zach is doomed. It's hopeless. He is up on the block as a replacement nom and he will be going out the door this week. Usually I pray for a good twist, a secret power, or some such nonsense to save a hg in his position. But I fear that nothing can save his silly monkey-butt now.

Some fans yelling their love over the backyard wall cheered him up a bit last night. Caleb and Frankie turned a little pale when they heard what sounded like insults for them, and cheers for Zach. I wish it had been a banner plain that could spell it out for those two. There are few things as glorious as the paranoia a banner plane can cause when it blazes the truth across the BB sky. I miss the banner planes, Amen.

Frankie spent the day making sure that everyone hates Zach. He rehashed all the mean things that Zach has said and done, embellishing to the point of lying.  Even though Zach has said some nasty things, I still love him. That's the kicker. I love Zach for his mischief making, his absolute delight in creating chaos. Over time he has redeemed himself, and I have absolved him of all sins. That's what BB is all about. We hate them, we love them, we hate them, we love them. We are a fickle fandom.

Victoria doesn't love him. She spent the last two days working herself into a tizzy about Zach.  It's not enough that Zach is going to be evicted. She wants to make him so mad he will do something crazy and get himself removed from the house. In handcuffs. With a police escort. 

So, she stole his pink hat. Which is actually her pink hat. She gave it to Zach way back when.  She plans to cut it into tiny pieces and give it back to him. She hope this will incite him to riot. He leaves his hat unattended for a few minutes and she grabs it. She screams for Christine to bring her a knife! 

And then we have a quick visit to the fish tank. The feeds return and the hat is nowhere to be seen. She smiles an evil smile. She mutters insults in Hebrew.  She is a happy little princess for about ten minutes before she starts to worry about what he will do when he finds out his hat is missing. What will he do when he sees that she has slashed that hat to shreds?  She imagines him doing all kinds of horrible things to her. She is both afraid, and thrilled, that he might try to hurt her. Every scenario she describes begins with him throwing boiling water on her face, and ends with Zach in handcuffs. 

Not too long ago Zach came up with a plan to make Devin so mad he would attack Zach and get himself thrown out of the house. It was the first of  Zach's  many completely ridiculous Best-Worst-Plans-Ever. That's when I really fell in love with Zach.  

I'm not loving Victoria right now, but I kind of like that she actually did something besides cry, and whine, and pluck her facial hair. You go girl! You got game! Way to get a jury vote!

I'm praying that Zach can maintain his cool long enough to ensure that no handcuffs will be involved in his eviction.  His game is a mess, he sleeps half the time, he won't change his clothes, and he loves to start trouble. But I love him! I want him to stay.  I hope that Thursday's twisted jury twist saves his monkey-butt and sends him right back into the house! Monkey-butt FTW!!!

                                                          Have A Dorky Day!
p.s. If you live near the BB house please throw some pink hats over the wall
       #PinkHatProject..get tweeting!
       Thanks to Kristine B. and DeAnna B.

Where Is That Damn Rule Book?

What can I say? Team America finally gets a fun task, and they twist it to make Zach the target once again. They must steal a piece of clothing from each hg and form a neighborhood watch to patrol the house for 24 hours. It's great fun to see the hgs go crazy trying to find all the things that Team America has hidden. The patrol uniforms are hilarious. Frankie's patrol songs are annoyingly loud but still kind of fun. Caleb is a little scary though. He is following Victoria around, up close and personal. I keep expecting him to give her a chest bump. BeastMode Bully at your service, ma'am.

Zach is climbing on the furniture wondering who the hell set the monkeys loose. Last thing he knew, the monkeys were safely locked up until he needed them. Now the monkeys have been set free by persons unknown, and he is getting blamed for it. Some serious monkey business is going down!

But it's no fun watching Frankie and Derrick try to ruin Zach's game one more time. They are only too happy to blame Zach for the missing items. Then Frankie begins his own secret mission to convince everyone that Zach has been a saboteur all along. And that he has been making piles of money while trying to sabotage them all! It's the thought of Zach making money from his mischief that really makes everyone mad.

It's all about not getting blood on his hands. Frankie will now be the hero for getting the saboteur out of the game! Frankie even blames Zach for forcing them to use Skittles to choose noms. It's all Zach's fault for not volunteering to go on the block to throw the BOB.  Those Skittles are proof positive that Zach is the saboteur!

Out in the back yard, Zach has an attack of monkey fever. He steals the cue ball, and hides it in the bathroom. Zach, you silly monkey butt!  You are hopeless! Doomed! You have zillions of fans rooting for you right now! Even Frankie's superstar sister is tweeting mind control messages to Frankie to keep you safe! 

Caleb and Cody, on patrol in their Chippendales costumes, find the missing cue ball, and the lynch mob is now victorious. That cue ball has sealed Zach's fate.  Then the missing items are discovered.  The hgs celebrate for a bit, and then it's back to patrolling the house.  Most of the patrolling focuses on Zach. They patrol him up one side and down the other. They patrol him up the wazoo.

Frankie and Caleb take Zach up into the HOH to tell him he will be going on the block. Frankie takes every opportunity to tell Zach that everybody wants him out. He repeats this over and over as he lists all the reasons Zach must go.Frankie very clearly says that he will be putting Zach up as the replacement nom. 

This is against the rules. People do it all the time, but it's usually not this obvious.. Does Frankie have a secret plan to get caught breaking this rule? Does he want it to appear that he has no choice but to nom someone else? Someone like Derrick perhaps? Is Frankie that smart? Is it even a possibility that production would enforce this rule?  Of course not.

Zach, our little monkey mischief maker, seems to take this news pretty well. He agrees that it's the best move for Frankie to nom him. He encourages him to nom him. Why waste an HOH getting Victoria out of the house?  She isn't even playing the game dude, you gotta nominate me!

Meanwhile, Victoria is convinced she is the best BB player in the house, because she said that Zach was a saboteur week two!!! She knew it all along! She has this game all figured out! "OMG you guys, I am smarter than all of you!"

The neighborhood watch soldiers on. The duty roster is posted. For Team America's task to succeed they must have a pair of hgs on watch at all times for 24 hours. This pair cannot be two TA members. And they can't just lay around, they have to actively patrol.  Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, the watch falls apart, and we have a solitary guard just sitting there.

Around this time twitter goes crazy with cries of foul play. Frankie broke the rules by telling Zach he is going up!!! This rule is broken every week, but now people.want production to wake up and dispense punishment! Plus, Team America did not complete it's task, because there were solitary guards who didn't even patrol!!! Where is the rule book?  Live feeders everywhere are demanding justice!

People really want Frankie to get a spankie! And they don't want Team America to get any money for this task. I don't either. I say give it to the monkeys, and set them free for good.

                                                      Have a Dorky Day!