Where Is My Happy BB Canada Place?

The feeds have been down for hours on Big Brother Canada 3, and I don't seem to be that upset about it. That can't be a good sign.

I just can't seem to get into my BB groove, and I don't know why. I suspect that not having the live feeds come on right after the premier has something to do with my malaise.

This first week has been interesting twist wise. Sending the hgs into a house with no furniture, no food, no clothes was great! And all they had to eat was slop! That must have made them all cranky to the max! It really would have been fun to see them deal with that on the feeds. Lots of fun we didn't get to have because THERE WERE NO FEEDS YET !

Then there was the first eviction. And we had the power to decide who goes! That sounds like loads of fun, right? If the feeds had been on during the voting, it would have been party time! Voters could have had more info to go on than Big-Boobs-Cougar vs Silly-Laugh-Cheerleader. Fun times would have been had by all! BUT WE HAD NO FEEDS!

I wanted Risha gone just because I don't ever want a Cougar-Mance on my BB. Eeeeewwww! Maybe if I could have watched her on the feeds I could have seen her non-cougar side. *sigh*

But then, it wouldn't have mattered anyway, because she might get a chance to get back in the house! Silly twisted Twisto's twist. Sheesh!

Ok, enough complaining about no feeds. We have feeds now, and we can move on.

Yes. Let's move right on to complaining about the camera dudes. Funny the things you forget over time. I forgot how the BBCAN camera dudes have absolutely no idea what they are doing! They just focus in on random silent people no matter who is talking OFF CAMERA! They practice mood shots of the furniture and house decor. They especially like to have the cam shot in one room and the audio from another room.

This year the camera dudes are all about the aerial shot. Looking down from the ceiling onto the living room couch is absolutely no help when it comes to figuring out who is saying what to whom. Yet we have quite a few aerial views sprinkled throughout our live feed day.

Ok. Moving on.

I kinda like Jordan, Sarah, and Bobby. They seem smart and social and able to keep some info to themselves.

I don't want to like Cindy with an S, but she might just be full of all kinds of drama and game play potential. I am gonna chill with her for a while.

I liked Willow at first, but she is driving me crazy already. Willow is everywhere! I think she will be the Pop-In hg of this season, popping into every convo, in every room, on every cam. She said in her interview that she is either really up, or really emotional, so I am waiting for a meltdown before passing judgement on her.

Graig and Johnny have good meltdown potential too. Graig's melting might include berzerker possibilities, so I am chillin with him even though he seems like a bit of a jerk..

I want Zach to fail miserably in all of the hundreds of deals he has in the works.

I want Naeha to deliver on her bitch-face promises.

I want Ashleigh to decide on a hairdo and stick with it for longer than five minutes.

I want Bruno to always wear a hat because the view of his head from behind is not pleasant.

I want Pilar to blossom into a comp beast and scare the bejeezus out of everyone.

I want Godfrey to show a little personality, please!

But most of all I want to know why everyone loves Kevin? Well, they love him but don't trust him. Kevin is flirting with everyone! He's all touchy-feely-let-me-just--lay-my-leg-over-you-while-I-rub-someone-else's-feet. I don't see anything to love. He has evil inside him, I just know it.

Brittnee seems to have been wiped out already by all this BB business. I think being a have-not is gonna take all the sparkle we saw in her interviews right out of her. I would know more about this if they had shown us the have-not room on the feeds last night after the Have-Not comp, BUT THEY DID NOT!!!. I worry that she won't survive if she is nommed as planned. I want Brittnee to stay long enough to wake up and play Big Brother.

I went to bed early last night, when I finally realized they were not gonna show us the have-not room. I figured we would get to see it this morning, when the have-nots woke up all grumpy from sleeping in inhumane conditions. I was a wee bit excitable thinking about seeing the results of the have-not room deprivation.

But the feeds were down when I woke up. And they are still down as I write this. And, like I said before, I don't seem to be upset about it. Where is my happy, shiny, exciting BB Canada? I hope I find it soon.

                                                        Have A Dorky Day!

Why Utopia Scared The Fook Out Of Me

"@Ravie30 *wandering around*...Sigh...no more...sigh"

"@Ravie30 I just ate a fun size box of Milk Duds in one shot

...I'm not taking this well #Utopia"

I feel your pain. It sucks that FOX cut the live feeds with no notice. Live feed withdrawal is no laughing matter. Right now there are people searching for a live feed connection to any Utopia, in any country!  Who cares if you can't understand the language, it's live feeds!   Must. Have. Feeds!

But I, for one, am sooooooo relieved. Thank gawd, Amen.

When I first heard about the reality show Utopia, on FOX, I wanted to hide behind my couch and wait for the end of the world. Not because of the show itself. It was the idea of live feeds 24/7/365 that scared me silly.

Live feeds are like a drug. Highly addictive. The three month limit on Big Brother live feeds is like a safety net. No matter how addicted you get each season, you know you will never hit bottom. You can let yourself go for three whole months because your live feed drug supply will dry up at the end of the season.

In my real life, I am a peace loving hippy chick artist who would never mess with any one's karma. In my BB live feeder life, I embrace the dark underbelly of reality TV. I can't wait for the entire cast to crash and burn.The three month time limit helps me relax and enjoy this slightly voyeuristic dalliance. I like a little yin with my yang. Ninety days is plenty of time to let my bad self roam free.

Plus, it's a game!  With strategy! This helps me justify the endless hours of  feed watching. Not to other people, but to myself.  I know there is a game in there somewhere, as I gleefully anticipate the next breakdown, betrayal, or blow up.

Dishes and laundry can pile up to the sky. My friends can wonder aloud: "Whatever happened to...um..what's her name??"  My skin can turn pale as I keep watching for one more hour, so that I don't miss one moment of game changing feeds. But I know, deep down inside, it will all be over soon.

Utopia promised one year of live feeds. No game! No prize! No strategy! Just people building a so called society. For a whole year! That's some scary shit! Seriously! I worried what would become of us. We need that break, that time off between seasons. For the good of all, we need time to cleanse our souls of the pseudo-omniscient powers of the live feeds.

I did everything in my power to resist Utopia live feeds. I would not sign up with FOX, even for the free feeds. I don't need FOX messing with my personal private interweb world!  I declined to blog Utopia. A whole year? Cows? Chickens? Are you crazy?  Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ((runs away and hides))

I checked in now and then. I chatted here and there. I followed the twitter trail.  But live feeds don't work that way. You can't just check in.  I have known so many people like Bella, and Cal, and Rob, and Mike.  I have lived through a gazillion meetings, and food orders, and decision making disasters that were the daily fare of Utopia live feeds. I have paid my cosmic new age dues. And still the feeds drew me in. I was perilously close to a new live feed addiction.

And here is what concerned me the most. Will we watch pretty much anything if it is on a live feed? If cameras are there, will we watch? If The Truman Show and Thunder Dome had a reality show baby, would we sign up for the feeds? Will we all end up Naked and Afraid?

It was obvious from the beginning that the Utopians were not up to the task. It was bound to fail, and yet we kept watching. I'm not bashing anyone for this. I'm not criticizing anyone who loved Utopia. I enjoyed the feeds while they lasted. I am just wondering where it all might lead. What can be coming next? ((shudders))

There were a few bright and shining lights in the Utopia experience. Jon Kroll is the most patient, respectful, and sharing reality show producer in all the lands. Even now, when he must be crazy busy with the cancellation, he takes time to keep in touch with us. He listened to the live feeders! Imagine that!

The Veterinary Angels were also pretty darn wonderful. They communicated with us as openly as they could about the welfare of the animals. And they have reported to us that they assisted in placing the animals in a sanctuary.

It was a fun experiment, but I'm glad it's over. It gives me time to get back into my real life groove.

We will all be back together in February for BB Canada. See?  Live feeds are just around the corner!  Everything is gonna be okay!!!

                                                  Have a Dorky Day!

See You Laters!

I did it! I survived BB16! I hope to be back in February to blog Big Brother Canada. Follow me on twitter so I can let you know when I start posting again. My twitter link is right over there ----->>

Blogging BB has been such a blast! When I started in June, I decided that I would write about whatever caught my fancy, and have fun with it. I didn't really expect to have many readers. I just wanted to write about the crazy world of BB live feeds.

I didn't want to do a recap or feed update blog. That takes a lot of work! I left that to the professionals. My blog list includes my favorite bloggers.  After only one season of writing my dorky little BB blog, I respect them even more. They are gods to me!

I figured I might have about ten peeps from chat who would check out my blog, and maybe come back now and then to read some more. Feedsters are hungry for details! We want times, and places, and lots of pretty pictures! My blog is pretty sketchy in these key areas.

I chose not to include screen caps. I am extremely low tech, and I suspect that screen caps involve a lot of clicking on things, etc. I don't like to click on things, it makes me nervous. I didn't include too many time stamps either. I must confess that I didn't even think about time stamps until pretty far into the season. I am such a dork!

Twitter would be a great tool for a new BB blogger to use, right?  Like, get the word out!  Network! Follow!  Start a conversation!  But every time I went to tweet my first tweet, I had nothing to say! I finally did get started, but it has taken me months to get in the twitter groove. I was so bad at Twitter that Twitter For Dummies started following me!  Seriously!  If they follow everyone, please don't tell me. I want to believe I am special.

Okay. Enough about me! What about you? My loyal readers?  I am so amazed and grateful for your support! Most of you have found me through chat or Facebook groups. And I have to thank you again for allowing me to post my blog link. You all spread the word for me. Without your shares, and comments, and positive feedback, I would probably still have about ten readers.

And for those readers who found me through Google, you did some of the heavy work too!  It took me two months of posts to really pay attention to tags/labels!  How did you even find me? You had to be seriously committed to your BB16 search quest to find my dorky little blog!

Special thanks to Connie R. for setting me up with the dorkiest BB blog ever!  My typewriter pic! My Barbie pic!  No BB graphic anywhere!  I love it!  It feels like I am undercover BB!  It is so completely dorky!!!

Big hugs to Jeff and Jenn, the best site and chat hosts in all the lands!

Group hug to my chat family!  I can't imagine watching BB without you! And a special hello, and thank you, to all the lurkers in chat!  I know you have been in super stealth mode when you read my posts!

Thanks to everyone in the fb groups for all of your comments and feedback! It's been fun getting to know you all! I will still be checking in, this is not goodbye.

See you all back here in February for BB Canada!

                                                 Have a Dorky Day!

Finally, The Finale!

So....the finale wasn't quite as bad as I expected. Not as good as I had hoped for either. Happens every year.  Julie builds me up, only to smash me down.

Hooray for Derrick! He worked 24/7, double-triple-overtime, to win BB16 . I kind of like that Cody took Derrick to F2. I admire loyalty, and I like it better when there are two game players at the end. And Victoria didn't cry! You go girl!

And Donny won AFP! Or was it AFH? Whatever, five million votes! That's pretty awesome. And what a great job Julie did with that reveal! You just know that Frankie thought he had gotten ten million votes, all for his own self! His reaction was priceless! That almost made up for how bad the rest of the show was.

Then we move to the back yard interviews. That reporter was terrible! Has he ever used a microphone before?  Those questions were ridiculous! And I think the camera dude was the last surviving live feed switch intern. He dropped the camera!

Hee hee! Donny confessed that he was the one who crossed out Victoria's name in the bathroom! Some peeps are really mad at him for this, but I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. His back yard interviews were the best! He is hilarious! I want to make him a tee shirt:

I'm trending on Twitter

....whatever that is.

Zach was so cool! Just chillin. Happy for everybody. Cody just wants to have some beers with Big Jeff. All the hgs except for Jocasta and Devin were pretty gracious about everything. Jocasta was still trying to build her church, and Devin simply has no idea how to talk to people. He just smiled and said stupid things that ended up sounding just plain rude.

And suddenly, Blankie! That's my new name for him. I just made it up right now, this very minute! I want to blank him out of my BB memories. He was so all about him, all over the place last night. Dancing and prancing and kicking and singing and posing and all those things he does to keep the cameras on him. Ugh.

Today I am resisting all urges to click on anything Blankie related. I'm not gonna click, share, like, retweet, or look at anything that's about Blankie.  Blankie on The Talk? Not looking! Blankie jets off to SNL?  Not caring!  HA!  I'll show him!!!

All the hgs can now go back to being who they are in real life. I wish them all well. They entertained me for almost 3 months, We have had our fickle way with them, and now their life is their own again. 

Everyone but Blankie. Blankie just makes me all kinds of cranky. I want to white him out from the BB16 story, but I can't. Well, maybe I can!  It's my very own dorky blog after all. I could, if I wanted to, go back through all my posts and Frankie! And make him Blankie!!! 

Oh my Gawd, that's a lot of work. That would take me days and days. Also, most likely, nobody would ever notice!  I'm still worn out from last night, I have no energy for a project of this magnitude. But I can Blankie his ass out of all future posts!  

#AnyOneButBlankie   For the good of all!!!

Have a Dorky Day!

Oh My Gawd! It's Finale Night!

It's finale night! What's gonna happen? I have no idea!!!

Who will win the final HOH?  Will Derrick and Cody stay true to each other? Or will they betray each other, and take Victoria to the end?  Will Victoria even notice, or will she be too busy trying to fit into her sparkly see-through dress that she finally got back from Big Brother?

Why is Dr. Will talking to the jury? Is he there to smash Frankie's evil plans to influence the jury votes? Will he accidentally, on purpose, tell Frankie he looks pretty good for a 31 year old mogulomaniac?  Will he make a golf date with Zach, and ask Frankie to be their caddy? I hope so!

After all the hokey clips, and scripted jury questions, will there be enough time to reveal all the twisty twists? Will we have some good long reaction shots of mouths agape and eyes agog?

Will the audience be a sea of pink hats and Team Zach shirts?  Will Julie be wearing hand crafted Froot Loop earrings?  Will the "Zach's Best Moments" montage make Frankie cranky? Yes, please!

And then there's Caleb and Amber! Will he be wearing those damn bunny slippers? Will it be the most awkward reunion ever? With limousines, cruise tickets, and pickle bananas?  Will we witness the beginnings of StalkMance: The Sequel?

So many possibilities! I am getting more excited by the minute!

Will Devin bring his daughter?  Will Ariana bring her entourage?  Will Frankie get booed? Will Zach start climbing on the furniture and set the monkeys free???

I am very excitable now!

Will Victoria cry if she is evicted, and make us all cry when she cries with Julie? Or will Victoria make it to final two, and win the game, and then be all like "I played the best game ever!" and make us regret that we secretly wanted her to win in the first place?

Will Hayden propose to Nicole? Will Caleb propose to Amber? Will Frankie propose to Zach?  Will Brittany get all pissed off when nobody proposes to her?

Will the jury demand a re-vote when they discover that Derrick is a police officer? Will we see a special feature of "Donny Thompson: Secret Agent Groundskeeper!"? Will Jocasta speak in tongues when she casts her vote?

Will Hayden moon the audience? Will Pao-Pao miss the finale because nobody remembers who she is, and security won't let her in?  Will Joey smack all the girls upside the head and say "I told you so?"

Okay, now I am seriously nervousing, and filled with high expectations. Will tonight's show be anywhere near as crazy good as I am imagining? Or will my BB dreams be smashed to smithereens?

Will I be tweeting my joy, or composing open letters to CBS?  Will I go to sleep happy, or wake up tomorrow and adopt lots of cats, and write petitions up Julie's wazoo?

Oh my Gawd! It's finale night! What will become of us? I have no idea!!!

                                                Have a Dorky Day!

Goodbye Back Yard, It's Been Real !

Last night the final three said goodbye to the back yard. Goodbye hammock. Goodbye fake grass. BB has told them they will be locking down the back yard Tuesday at 7:00 am. Goodbye pool. Goodbye hot tub.

All of these goodbyes while laying on wet astroturf to reenact last season's final three goodbye's. They share back yard memories. This takes quite a while. Cody and Victoria get a little fidgety, but Derrick is just laying under his BB sky soaking it all in. Goodbye barking spiders. (barking spiders??!!!)  Goodbye ants.

They already took the last swing on the hammock. And right before that, Victoria had one last try at getting Derrick to admit he had promised her f2:

Victoria: Can you just admit?
Derrick:  Admit what?
Victoria: That you said the thing...
Derrick:  I said what you think I said, but my intentions were obviously different than you thought they were.
Victoria: So we never had a final two?
Derrick:  I don't think we did.
Victoria: Sigh........

Goodbye weights.  Goodbye couches. Goodbye pillows.

Derrick says they gotta put the cover on the pool table for the last time. I never saw them do this before. I think this is the first time they have ever used that cover. But they are caught up in a Fellini film moment as they say their last words at the pool table funeral. Cody is so sad he might just cry.

Did Derrick get a final Team America mission? A mission to:
A) creep me out, or B) make Cody cry?

Cody writes his name in the dew on the grill cover. A bird shrieks in the night.  I'm getting a little freaked out here. They are all strolling around aimlessly thinking morbid goodbye thoughts. Goodbye washer. Goodbye dryer.

BB: Holla! Froot Loop Dingus!

Thank goodness Zach is here in spirit, to comfort us during the last moments of the saddest ever BB back yard memorial service.

BB scares them with a lockdown announcement. They all freak out and panic. BB announces lockdown is over. They calm down and continue with their goodbyes. They are sad, and tired, and acting pretty damn weird. Goodbye camera pole in the middle of the yard.

They finally head inside to get ready for bed. Thank gawd this nonsense is over! Then Derrick runs back outside for one last goodbye. He races over to the pool. Goodbye Ducky!

BB is playing some really weird sound over the loudspeakers. It sounds like that creepy freaky sound in that movie The Langoliers. It's freaking me the fook out! Maybe its barking spiders! Is that what they sound like?

They just ignore the sound and make a bedtime snack. I would make one too, but the lights are off in my kitchen, and I just know there are barking spiders waiting for me.  And I know what they will shriek at me with that awful Langoliers barking spider sound. Goodbye Dorky!

                                    Have a Dorky Day!

This Final Three Is Killing Me!

The final days in the BB house are designed to make everyone go completely bonkers. The feeds get sooooooo boring, the hgs are sooooooo bored. Game talk is circular, repetitive, mind numbing. At this point in the season my skull is sloshing with a puddle of BB brain-mush.

This particular final three is seriously close to driving each other insane. Cody is cussing up a storm about everything.  He is hyper to the max. He has completely lost patience with Victoria. He wants Derrick to please just make her shut the fook up! Tell her there is no hope! Squash that girl's BB dreams right this minute!

Ever since Cody outed The Hitmen during Caleb's eviction, Victoria has been a little cranky. After Derrick won part two of the final HOH, she has been on a mission to get direct answers from him about who he would take to the final two.

But she is doing it in her own special Victoria way. She hammers away at him for hours, talking so low you can barely hear her. She also speaks in sentence fragments that mostly make no sense. She wants direct answers, but rarely asks a direct question. It's driving Derrick and Cody crazy!. Me too!

I kind of want her to just start screaming at them demanding answers! I wish she would just give them hell for these final days. Victoria actually thinks she has played a good game. She has almost convinced herself that she has brought Derrick to the end with her game play. This whole Hitmen alliance business is really pissing her off.

I think she really wants to get mad, but still holds some small hope that she will be taken to the final two by one of these guys. I bet Victoria is a glorious force to be reckoned with when she is truly furious. That pink hat incident was just a tease.  I want to see her spit fire and spew Hebrew! I want her to get all Victoria Princess Warrior on their asses!!! Yes, please!

Derrick tells her so many versions of why he shouldn't take her to the final two, it's no wonder the poor girl can't speak in complete sentences. But he never tells her point blank that he isn't taking her. He talks around it. He is slowly, methodically, painfully working her for a jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.

Cody says that if Derrick doesn't tell her she has no chance of final two, he will tell her himself.  He wants Victoria to stop following Derrick around. Cody just wants to have a good time being Big Brother's Most-Amazing-Secret-Alliance-Final-Two-Ever, and Victoria is ruining all of his fun!  His Hitmen reveal seems to have gone to his head. He may actually follow through on this threat, if Derrick doesn't finally just tell her he is taking Cody to the end.

Meanwhile, it's hard for me to believe these guys are really not planning to take Victoria to final two. Are they lying to each other? Are they lying to us? I never get it right at the end. My brain hurts just thinking about it.  My final two predictions are always completely wrong. Well, I am mostly wrong the whole season, but I am always crazy wrong in the end. BB brain-mush FTW!

                                         Have a Dorky Day!


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