The feeds were more of the same yesterday. Mostly boring, with plenty of lying and butt kissing. They are all trying to set themselves up for safety for a double eviction on Thursday night. It's impossible to tell whether they are lying or truthing. And do we really care? Let's just go directly to the double eviction and get this season over with already!!
Caleb isn't kissing much butt. His strategy seems to be "Let me tell you what a BB beast I am and then we'll talk some game." His ego knows no bounds. Yesterday, when he did his HOH blog and tweets, BB gave him a few fan questions to answer. One fan asked what kind of girl he likes. Caleb now believes that BB is his personal dating service.
He is convinced that his answer to this question will bring him thousands of "applicants" to fill the position of girlfriend. He imagines they will pay $500 for a chance to date him. He got so excited as he told the guys about this that he had to run to the dr to make sure they were clear on the job description: "Don't love me for my looks, or my truck, just give me $500 and we'll get along real good!"
Victoria has refused to kiss any butt. Derrick tells her to stop spending so much time with Nicole. He explains that Nicole can't do anything for her game. Victoria needs to be talking to Cody and Frankie and Christine! Victoria say NO! She doesn't want to. She won't do it! Not one single butt will be kissed by her princess lips!
This is what you end up with if you carry someone through the game. When it finally comes down to it, Derrick has spent endless hours managing Victoria's moods. It's hard, thankless work. And here they are, on double eviction eve, and she finally says NO! What is a master manipulator to do?
Let's see...hmm..anything else happen lately? Hmmm..Christine told Frankie about coffee enemas and he got a faraway look in his eyes. No..that's not it....hmmm. Oh yeah, I remember now!
A BANNER PLANE FLEW OVER THE HOUSE!!! Yes! Well, allegedly. We had a long indoor lock down and there were many reports of a banner plane flying over the area. "FRANKIE & DERRICK R THE SABOTEURS" was the alleged message. If the hgs saw it they aren't telling. And we sure didn't see it. Dammit!
I love the banner plane. I think it's so wild that a fan would spend that kind of money to fly a message over the house! I thrill at the potential for creating paranoia and panic. A shout over the wall is one thing. Those are free. But a plane costs some dollars, takes some commitment. A banner plane is hard to dismiss as poppycock, the way they've been doing with the shouts. Caleb would take one look at that message and say "I been in the military, and that there banner plane ain't no poppycock!"
I wonder what it's like for people in the neighborhood. If they don't know diddly about BB, what are they thinking when they see that message fly across the sky? Maybe they have a boss named Derrick! Or a boyfriend named Frankie! Maybe they are googling "saboteur" and changing their locks right now! I think about the pilot. Is this a risky business? Will the men in black soon be paying him/her a visit? Will the pilot give up his client when Julie says "I need an answer now!"?
The thought of this alleged banner plane amused and entertained me for hours. I imagined myself chartering a banner plane to fly over the BB house. My message? "FRANKIE IS REALLY 31 YEARS OLD!" It might not change the game, but it would really piss Frankie off! It's a sad day when my imaginary BB life is more fun than my real one.
Have a Dorky Day!
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Red FTW!!! (oops!...wrong feeds!)
Days and days of boring BB feeds brought to you by Caleb wimping out on his plans to backdoor Frankie. It's pitiful. It's infuriating. It's dad-gum crazy!
I didn't have much hope for this plan anyway. But it sure would have been a fun week of feeds. I was kind of looking forward to watching Frankie freak the fook out. I wanna see him scramble, and cry, and plead, and scheme, and ultimately fail! I want me some good BB!!!
The way things are going it may never happen. This week's double eviction might be our only hope. But double evictions are tricky. The hg's are all hyped up and go into panic mode. They get freaked out at the idea of making a big move that they might have to pay for 20 minutes later. Will anybody have the guts to nom Frankie? They are all talking big talk right now, but I doubt any of them will do it. I feel a cranky coming on!
Meanwhile, Frankie is giving Caleb some social media mogul advice. Today Caleb gets to do his HOH blog and tweets. Frankie tells Caleb to blog about him! What a great idea! Caleb can blog about how he was considering putting Frankie on the block, but then made the best decision of his life when he didn't do it! Blog about meeeeeeeeeee!!! Tweet about meeeeeeeeee!
Frankie is acting like it's no big deal that his alliance talked about backdooring him. I'm not buying it. Are you? I think that if Frankie wins either double evic HOH comp this week he will take his revenge on them in Grande style. We will be treated to a major production of the Frankie Show. If this happens, it will be both horrible and wonderful to behold.
And what is to become of Victoria? Does everyone secretly want to end up in a f2 with her? Is that the only winning strategy for BB16? And what about us? At this point in the game, do we loathe them all so completely that we want Victoria to make it to the end and win? Is this what we have come to?
Three more weeks till the finale. The real question is what will become of us? Will we make it to the end? This season is in such a sad state that the fans might just start yelling Utopia shout outs over the wall of the BB house! But we will miss it, because we'll all be over in Utopia signing up to join Red's Utopia State Of Freedom! Red FTW!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
I didn't have much hope for this plan anyway. But it sure would have been a fun week of feeds. I was kind of looking forward to watching Frankie freak the fook out. I wanna see him scramble, and cry, and plead, and scheme, and ultimately fail! I want me some good BB!!!
The way things are going it may never happen. This week's double eviction might be our only hope. But double evictions are tricky. The hg's are all hyped up and go into panic mode. They get freaked out at the idea of making a big move that they might have to pay for 20 minutes later. Will anybody have the guts to nom Frankie? They are all talking big talk right now, but I doubt any of them will do it. I feel a cranky coming on!
Meanwhile, Frankie is giving Caleb some social media mogul advice. Today Caleb gets to do his HOH blog and tweets. Frankie tells Caleb to blog about him! What a great idea! Caleb can blog about how he was considering putting Frankie on the block, but then made the best decision of his life when he didn't do it! Blog about meeeeeeeeeee!!! Tweet about meeeeeeeeee!
Frankie is acting like it's no big deal that his alliance talked about backdooring him. I'm not buying it. Are you? I think that if Frankie wins either double evic HOH comp this week he will take his revenge on them in Grande style. We will be treated to a major production of the Frankie Show. If this happens, it will be both horrible and wonderful to behold.
And what is to become of Victoria? Does everyone secretly want to end up in a f2 with her? Is that the only winning strategy for BB16? And what about us? At this point in the game, do we loathe them all so completely that we want Victoria to make it to the end and win? Is this what we have come to?
Three more weeks till the finale. The real question is what will become of us? Will we make it to the end? This season is in such a sad state that the fans might just start yelling Utopia shout outs over the wall of the BB house! But we will miss it, because we'll all be over in Utopia signing up to join Red's Utopia State Of Freedom! Red FTW!!!
Have a Dorky Day!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Even Alcohol Can't Save This Season!
Another mostly boring day of feeds. Frankie did not get picked to play in the POV comp, and this really pissed him off. He was absolutely livid! That was actually kind of fun to watch. He's been complaining all season about never getting picked for POV. Yesterday he kept saying that from here on in he is guaranteed to play. He said this a zillion, trillion, times! Was anybody listening? Nope!
They missed his secret coded message: "This is your last chance to backdoor me you silly people!" They just skipped right over that, and started whining about Victoria getting to play in this veto comp. They hate her lack of game play with a passion! A passion that blinds them to a big game move opportunity. Such a silly bunch of dodo heads!
Meanwhile, Christine wins the veto! This gives them the perfect chance to get Frankie out! It might be their last shot! Do they realize this? I don't think so. They talk about how paranoid he is. They list how he has thrown each of them under the bus. They think he can win just about any kind of comp. They all agree that he will probably turn on them as soon as he has the chance.
And then....and then.... they decide that Victoria should still go up as the replacement nom! Wow! What a genius plan! More thrilling game strategy brought to you by The-Best-Worst-Dodo-Head-Alliance-Ever!
Caleb is all about getting his alliance to final five. It doesn't seem to matter that this plan might ruin his game. Caleb wants to make BB history. He thinks getting them to final five will make them famous beyond his wildest dreams. Parades, limousines, recording contracts, and Oscar nominations all seem to hinge on this alliance making it to the final five.
Earlier, Caleb and Cody had made big plans for a night of drinking. I think they had leftover booze from the night before. As they were looking forward to their drunken evening, Frankie caused a twitter uproar by making a horrid suggestion concerning Victoria. I won't repeat it, but it was very crude and thoughtless. Frankie is showing his true nasty self more every day. I turned off the feeds at this point, I had to take a break and think happy thoughts.
8/30 2:21 pm cam 3/4
I tune in later in the evening and Cody is wearing a dinosaur costume as a punishment for being the first one out of the veto comp. Caleb, Cody, and Victoria are the only ones drinking. BB gives them another booze delivery and they all get pretty wasted. Caleb is so loaded he fell down the stairs. It looked like a pretty bad fall, but he's okay. Cody and Caleb have a drunken convo about a final three deal of Caleb/Cody/ Derrick. Outside in the hammock, Derrick listens to Frankie pitch a final three deal of Frankie/ Caleb/Derrick.
So here we are in the BB house with a booze delivery, a dino costume, final three deals left and right, and it's just no fun. They get more alcohol and I decide to go to bed? That's just crazy talk! Not a good sign when even a booze delivery can't save the night.
Have a Dorky Day!
They missed his secret coded message: "This is your last chance to backdoor me you silly people!" They just skipped right over that, and started whining about Victoria getting to play in this veto comp. They hate her lack of game play with a passion! A passion that blinds them to a big game move opportunity. Such a silly bunch of dodo heads!
Meanwhile, Christine wins the veto! This gives them the perfect chance to get Frankie out! It might be their last shot! Do they realize this? I don't think so. They talk about how paranoid he is. They list how he has thrown each of them under the bus. They think he can win just about any kind of comp. They all agree that he will probably turn on them as soon as he has the chance.
And then....and then.... they decide that Victoria should still go up as the replacement nom! Wow! What a genius plan! More thrilling game strategy brought to you by The-Best-Worst-Dodo-Head-Alliance-Ever!
Caleb is all about getting his alliance to final five. It doesn't seem to matter that this plan might ruin his game. Caleb wants to make BB history. He thinks getting them to final five will make them famous beyond his wildest dreams. Parades, limousines, recording contracts, and Oscar nominations all seem to hinge on this alliance making it to the final five.
Earlier, Caleb and Cody had made big plans for a night of drinking. I think they had leftover booze from the night before. As they were looking forward to their drunken evening, Frankie caused a twitter uproar by making a horrid suggestion concerning Victoria. I won't repeat it, but it was very crude and thoughtless. Frankie is showing his true nasty self more every day. I turned off the feeds at this point, I had to take a break and think happy thoughts.
8/30 2:21 pm cam 3/4
I tune in later in the evening and Cody is wearing a dinosaur costume as a punishment for being the first one out of the veto comp. Caleb, Cody, and Victoria are the only ones drinking. BB gives them another booze delivery and they all get pretty wasted. Caleb is so loaded he fell down the stairs. It looked like a pretty bad fall, but he's okay. Cody and Caleb have a drunken convo about a final three deal of Caleb/Cody/ Derrick. Outside in the hammock, Derrick listens to Frankie pitch a final three deal of Frankie/ Caleb/Derrick.
So here we are in the BB house with a booze delivery, a dino costume, final three deals left and right, and it's just no fun. They get more alcohol and I decide to go to bed? That's just crazy talk! Not a good sign when even a booze delivery can't save the night.
Have a Dorky Day!
Saturday, August 30, 2014
These Feeds Are No Fun!!
First of all, congratulations to all the voters on a job well done! Team America's last task was an overwhelming fail! How about them apples, Frankie? No apple pie for you!
Frankie is still raging about this fail. He says that people just aren't ready for a guy in drag on BB. Frankie, dahling, we have guys in drag on every single season of Big Brother. It's a basic staple of BB. Did you read your contract? I'm pretty sure it's in there. "When you get bored to tears in the house, one or more male cast members are required to dress up in drag."
Frankie has decided that he no longer has to play a "nice" game. This fail has given him permission to unleash his true nasty self. He doesn't care if he has haters! He is a famous superstar! People just hate him because he is so famous! He no longer cares what America thinks of him. He is weary of trying to please us. He. Is. Over. It!
Frankie, sweetie-dahling, we are over you! I keep switching cams every time you enter a room. I don't even want to turn the feeds on today, because I can't stand listening to you anymore. I might turn them on after the POV comp. Maybe, if Nicole wins POV, I won't mind watching your hissy fit reaction to another major fail.
Not much happening on the feeds anyway. Caleb as HOH is a big yawn so far. As agreed upon by the Best-Worst-Big-Bunch-Of-Meanies-Alliance-Ever, Caleb put Nicole on slop. He asked them all "Who has not been on slop at least twice?" Nobody spoke up. Well, Christine kinda pointed at Frankie, but Caleb wouldn't look at her.
Frankie has only done it once. But he can't be expected to be a Have Not again! He is a superstar! Pick Nicole! Nicole had gourmet meals prepared by five star chefs in the jury house! Hayden fed her caviar and champagne breakfasts every day! Pick Nicole! We want her weak and weary for the POV comp!
Derrick volunteered to be a Have Not. He said it was because he went for the $5,000 in the HOH comp. I suspect it was more strategic. This gives him plenty of time alone with Nicole in the Have Not room. If she wins POV, he can keep on her good side for next week. If she loses, he can work on securing her jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.
Aside from Nicole winning the POV, the only potential for exciting feeds this week is that the hgs have noticed that there are a lot of missing condoms. They are all getting curious. Frankie brings it up daily. I haven't heard anything from the night vision cam patrol about any hank panky. Have you?
Early in the season we had the the mystery of the missing condoms. The girls were pranking with condom water balloons and discovered 3 condoms were missing from the box. We haven't heard a peep about condoms since then.
Remember back then? At the beginning of our newbie season? When berzerker hgs roamed the house wreaking havoc? When a StalkMance could entertain us for hours? When Zach would finally wake up and set the monkeys loose? Back when the feeds were fun, and life was worth living? I fear those days are gone forever.
Have a Dorky Day!
Curious about the condoms? See my July 9 post: The Mystery Of The Missing Condoms
Frankie is still raging about this fail. He says that people just aren't ready for a guy in drag on BB. Frankie, dahling, we have guys in drag on every single season of Big Brother. It's a basic staple of BB. Did you read your contract? I'm pretty sure it's in there. "When you get bored to tears in the house, one or more male cast members are required to dress up in drag."
Frankie has decided that he no longer has to play a "nice" game. This fail has given him permission to unleash his true nasty self. He doesn't care if he has haters! He is a famous superstar! People just hate him because he is so famous! He no longer cares what America thinks of him. He is weary of trying to please us. He. Is. Over. It!
Frankie, sweetie-dahling, we are over you! I keep switching cams every time you enter a room. I don't even want to turn the feeds on today, because I can't stand listening to you anymore. I might turn them on after the POV comp. Maybe, if Nicole wins POV, I won't mind watching your hissy fit reaction to another major fail.
Not much happening on the feeds anyway. Caleb as HOH is a big yawn so far. As agreed upon by the Best-Worst-Big-Bunch-Of-Meanies-Alliance-Ever, Caleb put Nicole on slop. He asked them all "Who has not been on slop at least twice?" Nobody spoke up. Well, Christine kinda pointed at Frankie, but Caleb wouldn't look at her.
Frankie has only done it once. But he can't be expected to be a Have Not again! He is a superstar! Pick Nicole! Nicole had gourmet meals prepared by five star chefs in the jury house! Hayden fed her caviar and champagne breakfasts every day! Pick Nicole! We want her weak and weary for the POV comp!
Derrick volunteered to be a Have Not. He said it was because he went for the $5,000 in the HOH comp. I suspect it was more strategic. This gives him plenty of time alone with Nicole in the Have Not room. If she wins POV, he can keep on her good side for next week. If she loses, he can work on securing her jury vote. Derrick is tricky that way.
Aside from Nicole winning the POV, the only potential for exciting feeds this week is that the hgs have noticed that there are a lot of missing condoms. They are all getting curious. Frankie brings it up daily. I haven't heard anything from the night vision cam patrol about any hank panky. Have you?
Early in the season we had the the mystery of the missing condoms. The girls were pranking with condom water balloons and discovered 3 condoms were missing from the box. We haven't heard a peep about condoms since then.
Remember back then? At the beginning of our newbie season? When berzerker hgs roamed the house wreaking havoc? When a StalkMance could entertain us for hours? When Zach would finally wake up and set the monkeys loose? Back when the feeds were fun, and life was worth living? I fear those days are gone forever.
Have a Dorky Day!
Curious about the condoms? See my July 9 post: The Mystery Of The Missing Condoms
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Game Talk Of The Flippity-Floppity Variety
You know the feeds are getting good when you start screaming "Listen to Caleb, he is absolutely right! You gotta listen to Caleb!" All of a sudden he is the voice of reason, and we sit up and pay attention. We spend so much time trying to avoid listening to him that it takes us by surprise every time.
About once a week Caleb's brain clears it's cache and cookies, and reboots to reveal a whole new Caleb. He has one rational thought after another. He spots the flaws in the plan of the moment, and comes up with a simple solution that might just be the better move. He is very calm and patient when he shares this information with his alliance. Caleb just all of a sudden starts making sense.
Last night sensible Caleb tried to get the guys to keep Donny and evict Nicole. Frankie and Derrick were up for it, but only if Cody said yes. Cody said no. No! No! No! He wants Donny gone! The discussion goes on, and they all flip-flop back and forth, except for Cody. Cody only kinda, sorta, maybe, flips one time. Then he flops back into saying "No!".
If only Derrick had given his permission for game talk 6 days ago, we might have had a great week of feeds. Derrick nipped all the buds that could have blossomed into game talk the night Nicole came back into the house. Then he spent the week setting himself up just in case it ever came to this discussion. He let's Caleb and Cody do most of the talking. He pipes in now and then to clarify, or confuse, whichever is called for. He is prepared for whatever they decide.
Frankie is mostly quiet too. He really wants Nicole to go. He is trying to play it cool, but it's obvious he is getting agitated. He and Derrick work together to let Caleb and Cody think that they are making this decision themselves.
Together in the HOH, they all say they will go with the group. Individually, to each other and to the cameras, they say they have to look out for themselves. Frankie acts really pissed, but pretends to be fine with whatever they decide. Derrick does his thing, and sets himself up to be the good guy no matter what the final decision is. Derrick is tricky that way.
Caleb's brain cache is now on overload and he is slipping back into BeastMode. "Whatever, dude! It don't matter who goes home! We are gonna win all the comps from here to infinity anyhow!" So it looks like Donny is still going home.
While all this flip-flopping was going on, Team America learned that Julie Chen will use a secret code to tell them if we voted for their most recent task to win or fail. During tonight's live show she will ask one of them what Have Not food they would most like to have next week. They will answer "Apple pie!". If they have succeeded, she will say "Wish granted."
If they have failed, she will say "Frankie and Derrick you suck, that stupid play sucked, and the whole Team America twist really, really sucks!!"
I was very tired when I finally went to bed last night, but I am pretty sure I got that last part right. I am most likely suffering from BB Brain Mush. I better clear my brain cache and reboot.
Have A Dorky Day!
About once a week Caleb's brain clears it's cache and cookies, and reboots to reveal a whole new Caleb. He has one rational thought after another. He spots the flaws in the plan of the moment, and comes up with a simple solution that might just be the better move. He is very calm and patient when he shares this information with his alliance. Caleb just all of a sudden starts making sense.
Last night sensible Caleb tried to get the guys to keep Donny and evict Nicole. Frankie and Derrick were up for it, but only if Cody said yes. Cody said no. No! No! No! He wants Donny gone! The discussion goes on, and they all flip-flop back and forth, except for Cody. Cody only kinda, sorta, maybe, flips one time. Then he flops back into saying "No!".
If only Derrick had given his permission for game talk 6 days ago, we might have had a great week of feeds. Derrick nipped all the buds that could have blossomed into game talk the night Nicole came back into the house. Then he spent the week setting himself up just in case it ever came to this discussion. He let's Caleb and Cody do most of the talking. He pipes in now and then to clarify, or confuse, whichever is called for. He is prepared for whatever they decide.
Frankie is mostly quiet too. He really wants Nicole to go. He is trying to play it cool, but it's obvious he is getting agitated. He and Derrick work together to let Caleb and Cody think that they are making this decision themselves.
Together in the HOH, they all say they will go with the group. Individually, to each other and to the cameras, they say they have to look out for themselves. Frankie acts really pissed, but pretends to be fine with whatever they decide. Derrick does his thing, and sets himself up to be the good guy no matter what the final decision is. Derrick is tricky that way.
Caleb's brain cache is now on overload and he is slipping back into BeastMode. "Whatever, dude! It don't matter who goes home! We are gonna win all the comps from here to infinity anyhow!" So it looks like Donny is still going home.
While all this flip-flopping was going on, Team America learned that Julie Chen will use a secret code to tell them if we voted for their most recent task to win or fail. During tonight's live show she will ask one of them what Have Not food they would most like to have next week. They will answer "Apple pie!". If they have succeeded, she will say "Wish granted."
If they have failed, she will say "Frankie and Derrick you suck, that stupid play sucked, and the whole Team America twist really, really sucks!!"
I was very tired when I finally went to bed last night, but I am pretty sure I got that last part right. I am most likely suffering from BB Brain Mush. I better clear my brain cache and reboot.
Have A Dorky Day!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Cody! Shut It Down!!!
There is a long list of do's and don'ts every BB hg should carry with them. Here are just a few items on this list:
Don't:
Do:
I have to switch cams every time I see a Cody & Christine cuddle-grope going on. What the hell is Cody doing? Why is he still touching her? Why is he letting her touch him? Why hasn't one of the guys given him a good smack upside the head?
They seemed to restrain themselves a bit right after Zingbot called them out. That lasted about 15 minutes! But then they started up again, with a vengeance! It's like watching an octopus! So many arms and tentacles latching on to random body parts. Stroking, holding, rubbing, tickling, poking, grabbing, pulling! I can't stand it one more minute! Cody! Shut It Down!
He has made it to the final eight. He has strong players in his alliance telling him he spends too much time with Christine. They express their concern about all this cuddling. They tease him and call him out. Zingbot poked him in the chest and zinged him a new one!!! Does he listen? Nope!
Cody keeps telling Derrick that he doesn't trust Christine, she won't leave him alone, and she is driving him crazy. But five minutes later he and Christine are on cam again, all wrapped around each other. They were talking about how they didn't give a damn that everyone says they cuddle too much. Who cares if the other hgs think they spend way too much time together? They say "Fook them, let's cuddle some more right now!"
Fook you Cody! Fook you Christine! Thanks to you I have to switch cams, and suffer through an hour of BeastMode Cowboy talking about his imaginary future as a superstar. Or I end up in the bathtub with Frankie as he tells the live feeders how fabulous he is. Yesterday, I listened to 20 minutes of Donny's crazy bird whistles, because the other cam was up in the HOH with the cuddle monsters!
The only thing worse than watching Cody & Christine cuddling all day would be if this creepy cuddle-mance turned into an even more creepy show-mance. Because then they would be smooching! Oh my gawd!!! Can you imagine that? No! No, don't even think about that! Visions of them smooching, all slobbery, with giant octopus arms all over each other, are making my head hurt!
No! Please don't ever let them be smooching! Let's all just calm the fook down and never think such thoughts again!
Have a Dorky Day!
Don't:
- Eat with your mouth open or talk with your mouth full
- Pick your nose or scratch your nuggets
- Snuggle and cuddle 24/7, ad nauseam, with another hg, especially one that is married.
Do:
- Wash your hands when you go to the bathroom
- Change your sheets, and your underwear
- Listen up when other hgs rag on you for cuddling so much with another (married) hg all the time
- Pay attention when Zingbot rags on you for the same thing!
I have to switch cams every time I see a Cody & Christine cuddle-grope going on. What the hell is Cody doing? Why is he still touching her? Why is he letting her touch him? Why hasn't one of the guys given him a good smack upside the head?
They seemed to restrain themselves a bit right after Zingbot called them out. That lasted about 15 minutes! But then they started up again, with a vengeance! It's like watching an octopus! So many arms and tentacles latching on to random body parts. Stroking, holding, rubbing, tickling, poking, grabbing, pulling! I can't stand it one more minute! Cody! Shut It Down!
He has made it to the final eight. He has strong players in his alliance telling him he spends too much time with Christine. They express their concern about all this cuddling. They tease him and call him out. Zingbot poked him in the chest and zinged him a new one!!! Does he listen? Nope!
Cody keeps telling Derrick that he doesn't trust Christine, she won't leave him alone, and she is driving him crazy. But five minutes later he and Christine are on cam again, all wrapped around each other. They were talking about how they didn't give a damn that everyone says they cuddle too much. Who cares if the other hgs think they spend way too much time together? They say "Fook them, let's cuddle some more right now!"
Fook you Cody! Fook you Christine! Thanks to you I have to switch cams, and suffer through an hour of BeastMode Cowboy talking about his imaginary future as a superstar. Or I end up in the bathtub with Frankie as he tells the live feeders how fabulous he is. Yesterday, I listened to 20 minutes of Donny's crazy bird whistles, because the other cam was up in the HOH with the cuddle monsters!
The only thing worse than watching Cody & Christine cuddling all day would be if this creepy cuddle-mance turned into an even more creepy show-mance. Because then they would be smooching! Oh my gawd!!! Can you imagine that? No! No, don't even think about that! Visions of them smooching, all slobbery, with giant octopus arms all over each other, are making my head hurt!
No! Please don't ever let them be smooching! Let's all just calm the fook down and never think such thoughts again!
Have a Dorky Day!
Monday, August 25, 2014
Team America Bombs On Broadway
BB Broadway was a bomb! Frankie and Derrick were the only ones in costume. Well, Caleb might have been in costume with his bandanna cap. It's hard to tell with him, because he will take just about anything and wrap it around his head. He definitely was not in drag. Dang it all, that's the only reason I tuned in to watch!
8/24 9:00 p.m. all cams
8/24 9:00 p.m. all cams
I still don't get why Frankie kept calling it a Broadway play. It just looked like a regular night in the BB house. Peeps sitting around imitating former house guests. Nothing Broadway about that.
There were some funny moments, with everyone doing pretty poor imitations of evicted hgs. The girls had some fun with it. Derrick and Caleb were terrible. Frankie was almost funny, but not quite. Donny was the star of the show! His impersonation of Devin was hilarious.! He nailed it!
There were some funny moments, with everyone doing pretty poor imitations of evicted hgs. The girls had some fun with it. Derrick and Caleb were terrible. Frankie was almost funny, but not quite. Donny was the star of the show! His impersonation of Devin was hilarious.! He nailed it!
Overall, it was a dreadful performance. It was mostly bearable, until Frankie did an encore. Then we had five long minutes of misery as Frankie took center stage. He was in character as Consuela, who I think is supposed to be his Brazillan housekeeper. It's one of his many characters that we have been subjected to all season.
He said this piece was from "the show", which would indicate he has previously performed this monologue for an audience. Obviously, an audience of a completely different sort than the people in the room last night, because this audience just didn't get it. It made them very uncomfortable.
He said this piece was from "the show", which would indicate he has previously performed this monologue for an audience. Obviously, an audience of a completely different sort than the people in the room last night, because this audience just didn't get it. It made them very uncomfortable.
And then, as it goes with most things on BB16, it got even more uncomfortable! Caleb got up and did a really, really, really, bad monologue. He was in character as some kind of psycho thug in the penitentiary. It was awful! The hgs just stared at him. Frankie's mouth was hanging open, and he was in shock. This wasn't Caleb joining in the fun to have a few laughs. This was Caleb acting!
Once again, Caleb has chosen the absolute worst material to use in yet another discover-me-now live feeds audition. It was horrible! All about stabbings, and killings, and punchings, and all kinds of dreadful things. Derrick looked miserable, like he was kissing $5,000 goodbye in his mind.
Once again, Caleb has chosen the absolute worst material to use in yet another discover-me-now live feeds audition. It was horrible! All about stabbings, and killings, and punchings, and all kinds of dreadful things. Derrick looked miserable, like he was kissing $5,000 goodbye in his mind.
Caleb switches characters mid sentence and becomes Tater, his hillbilly goofball character. Tater is mildly amusing, and mostly offensive. But at least we aren't in prison with a crazy man anymore. Frankie starts prompting Tater with questions, trying to get control of the situation. It's sort of funny for a few minutes, and then Frankie does something terrible.
He was asking Tater about his family, brothers, sisters, babies, etc. Tater's answers are confusing, and Frankie is trying to get Caleb to focus on the funny. And he asks Tater if his sisters have all of their limbs. WTF? He is sitting in a room with Donny, whose brother has no arms! What kind of let's-have-fun-and-put-on-a-play question is that?
I can't believe that Frankie didn't realize what he was saying. His questions were slow and calculated. But why would he say that on purpose? It was just awful. Why would you say something like this in the middle of a stupid task that you know is airing on BBAD? Team America better not get any money for this task. It was a major fail.
I usually end the post with something humorous. Something light, to leave you feeling good about Big Brother, no matter what fresh nonsense is going on in the feeds. But today I just can't get it up. I'm feeling all cranky and grumbly about Frankie and Team America. I just wish that Caleb had come in drag. I think that BeastMode Drag Queen really could have saved the day!
Have A Dorky Day!
Note: Donny's brother is missing one arm, and his other arm stops before the elbow with an incomplete hand.
I can't believe that Frankie didn't realize what he was saying. His questions were slow and calculated. But why would he say that on purpose? It was just awful. Why would you say something like this in the middle of a stupid task that you know is airing on BBAD? Team America better not get any money for this task. It was a major fail.
I usually end the post with something humorous. Something light, to leave you feeling good about Big Brother, no matter what fresh nonsense is going on in the feeds. But today I just can't get it up. I'm feeling all cranky and grumbly about Frankie and Team America. I just wish that Caleb had come in drag. I think that BeastMode Drag Queen really could have saved the day!
Have A Dorky Day!
Note: Donny's brother is missing one arm, and his other arm stops before the elbow with an incomplete hand.
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