Vanessa Decides Her Best Game Move Is To Talk Really Fast Until All Of Our Heads Explode!

I love me some crazy paranoid BB, but Audrey and Vanessa have worn me out a thousand times over. And Vanessa broke my feeds! She talked so fast, for so long, my feeds are all glitchy with a repeating loop. Vanessa is already a repeating loop, this just adds to the insanity.

Ok. So where are we. Week Three. OK.

Audrey's game plan is equal parts loony toons and camera time. I can't keep up with who she is targeting, because it can change mid sentence.This is her third week safe from the block, and still she feels the need to cause trouble. Multiple troubles, boil and bubbles. Everyone knows she is lying and twisting every body's words. They are all aware that she can cast spells on people and twist up their tongues so there is no hope of defending themselves! They know this!

But when she comes to drag someone away to 'clear the air ', off they go!. I wouldn't talk to Audrey about anything, ever! John came up with the perfect plan for dealing with her. He said he will either give her the silent treatment or yell at her. Those are his only options for protecting himself from her.

Silent treatment means she will have nothing to quote him on. Yelling at her means everyone else will be able to hear what he says to her. I love this plan. I hope he really does try this out. It would be great fun.

Vanessa and Austin, and whatever the fook alliances they are in, have decided they must protect Audrey.She is a meat shield that they can get out later. Whenever they desire. Easy as pie. HA!

They have also agreed to protect the recently discovered twin twist, Liz and Julia. They will protect the twins with their BB lives because weeks from now it will mean an extra vote for their side of the house! The fact that the twins will be related by blood as a pair in the house isn't even discussed. Those twins will be so grateful for this protection that they will just do as they are told.  Yep. Sounds like a PLAN!

Three weeks into this season, we now have empirical evidence that the BoB sucks the life right out of this game of Big Brother that we hold so dear. And three weeks of lame ass takeovers have shown us just how ridiculous this season is going to be.

And one week of Vanessa and her mile-a-minute, head spinning talkathon of an HoH makes me very leery of turning the feeds back on after this POV ceremony.But I will. Because......BB.

                                                             Have A Dorky Day!

Which Way To Jingle Town?

This is what happens when you let newbies run around the Big Brother house for a week without supervision! Your pre-game fave starts hanging with a bad crowd.

The feeds come on and there is Austin behaving like a complete dodo head as the house guests do an endless round of shout outs to celebrate the live feeds coming on.

Austin looked so good in his bio. So smart in his interviews. And now here he is on my live feeds looking pretty ridiculous as he and Jace yell and stomp and run the show for us.

Jace and Austin retire to the hangout room to continue their bro show, and it becomes obvious that Austin is just as much of a jerk as Jace. Austin isn't just hangin with the bad crowd, he is the bad crowd!

They have clever names for suspected alliances in the house: Shell Town? Schill Town? Jingle Town? They have plans to manipulate everyone. They have secret jokes that make them giggle. They seem fairly convinced that after ten minutes of the live feeds coming on they are every one's favorites and they have this whole BB thing locked down.

I give up on Austin as a lost cause, and look around to see where my other faves are. Jason looks pretty comfy in the BB house, fitting right in and doing just fine.  John the Dentist is alternately mellow and boingy-boingy off the wall. I hear some whispers about him here and there, but for now he seems safe from the house, and the influence of the bad kids, who are still performing their Bro Show for the cameras.

Now where is Vanessa, my fave poker player?  Oh my goodness she is a hot mess already. She misses her girlfriend, she doesn't like bullies, she's claustrophobic, and she doesn't know if she can do this! I think she is a Have Not, so I am hoping this is the slop talking.

Steve is trying his best to cheer Vanessa up with some kind of mind/number/word  game. It sounds like torture, but seems to dry up her tears for a while.

Steve and Jackie are on the block, but talk around the house is that everyone agrees they want Jace  out. Yes please! Back door plans week one seem a bit dramatic, but I'm all for it if Jace leaves the house. Then maybe Austin can redeem himself.

The feeds are all glitchy and looping and I am ready for bed. James is thinking about bed too. He is kinda wishing he was a Have Not, cuz he is loving those dentist chairs. He loves them so much he decides he's gonna sleep in one instead of being all lonely up in the HoH room. Seriously. Sounds like some Jingle Town nonsense to me!

                                    Have A Dorky Day!